Fifty Shades of Trouble
by ThornesFromRoses
Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?
1. Chapter 1: Just One More

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So the beginning of this story is pretty much a series of one-shots of the important moments in the life of little Juliette, but it'll turn into a storyline once she's at the age I want her to be for the bulk of the story and will focus more on Juliette and Christian. So the story will flow better when it gets to that point.

Also, I've never attempted to write much in the Fifty category, so this is all new to me. I've done a lot of reading in this series, and of course read the trilogy a few times, and seen the movie more times than I care to admit (because let's face it: Fifty is HOT). Bear with me if some of the characters seem out-of-character, especially at younger ages before the real story starts.

Reviews with constructive criticism or just about the story in general are very very welcome so review away. Ask questions, do whatever you want, I'll answer you back (if I remember) and I like feedback! It motivates me to write! Usually, the more reviews I get, the quicker I write so that's a helpful tip for all of you readers.

Final Note: I'm a college student, and my courses begin again on January 9, so right now I have plenty of time to write, but nursing school is challenging and I don't get much free time. Updates will probably be fairly frequent at first, but once school picks up, and I catch up to where I've written to so far, it'll be less frequent. This story is probably going to be a long one, so I'm not sure when I will complete it or if I will break it up into multiple stories.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy reading about Juliette and watching her eventually irritate our favorite guy as much as I have enjoyed coming up with her. I take credit for Letty, and only Letty. The rest of the characters and storyline are not of my own imagination.

Chapter 1: Just One More?

" _Please believe that one single positive dream is more important than a thousand negative realities."_

― _Adeline Yen Mah, Chinese Cinderella_

Grace POV

It had been a difficult day at the hospital. Anytime I had to handle an abuse case, it took a toll on me. This little one though, she had reminded me much more of my middle child than any one I had ever met. The EMTs had found her in a tiny apartment in the worst part of Seattle. She was three, just barely though, and sitting between her two parents, both with bullets through their skulls.

When she first arrived, the amount of blood covering the child had us terrified she had been stabbed or had her own gunshot. As we cleaned her up though, we noticed the blood wasn't hers. That didn't mean she had experienced any less trauma. Her entire tiny body was littered in bruises, welts, cuts, burns, and just signs of being severely abused for years. She wouldn't speak, and I was the only one she would let touch her.

The minute I held that baby girl in my arms, I knew where she belonged. It was the same tug at my heart my three older children had caused. I wanted this child. I wanted for her to be our new daughter, for Carrick and I to show her the love she so desperately deserved. That is what led me to my current task: convincing my husband.

He was in his office at home, as he often was anytime before dinner. He worked so hard, but it shoed through. He and I were able to live, and give our children, a very privileged lifestyle. Some of that was inheritance, but a lot of it came from hard work on both of our parts.

I entered the office and my husband smiled at me, immediately swooping me into my arms and kissing me. "I've missed you." He told me.

"As I've missed you." I agreed. "Unfortunately, we need to talk about something rather serious."

"I know that look." My husband sighed. "Gracie, we've got three beautiful children. Christian is already proving to be difficult in his adolescence and he's just turned fifteen, and Elliot, well, he's not the easiest child either and any attention we have left goes to Mia…"

"Cary, just hear me out." I held my hands up, trying to stop my husband's little spill on why we didn't need another child. "I know that we've got our hands fairly full already but she's…she needs someone. I've had the feeling I have around her three times in my life. The first was when Elliot was brought into the ER after being found. I held that baby and I knew he was mine. That he was ours. The next time was when they brought in Christian. I couldn't touch him, but I knew from the way he looked at me, from how his eyes met mine, that he was meant for us too. Then there was Mia. Sweet little Mia, who I held in the NICU as she went through withdraws. I knew from the day I laid eyes on the baby that one belonged with us. I have that feeling with this little girl as well."

"Tell me about her." My husband simply offered.

"She's three they believe." I told him. "But she's very, very small for her age. She looks just under two. She's very malnourished and is in very bad physical shape. They beat her Cary. I mean they really beat this baby girl. About 95% of her body is covered in bruises, welts, cuts, burns, anything you could imagine. She's terrified of people, even other children. She won't speak to or let anyone touch her except for me. She's as bad as Christian unless I'm the one trying to hold her or talk to her. When I do hold that little one in my arms, I feel a sense of completeness. She's a beautiful child as well. She seems to have a naturally tan complexion, but the bruising could be accounting for that, and she's got the prettiest shade of caramel brown hair. She's got grey eyes, that I've only ever seen on one other person; Christian. She belongs with us. I love the child, and you'll love her too once you meet her."

"What's her name?" Carrick asked, his interest seemed to be caught now. That was a good sign.

"Juliette, but she prefers to be called Letty." I smiled, thinking about the little girl.

"You really want this one?" He asked. "You really think she should be our daughter?"

"I'm as sure as I was with all three of the others." I told him.

"Well I guess I should meet her, and then get to work on the paperwork as soon as possible." Carrick told me.

"You're sure that you're okay with this?" I asked him softly.

"If you're sure, like you were with the others, then I'm sure." He smiled as he kissed my forehead.

"You know, the boys and Mia are all at friends' houses for the night. I was going to take Juliette some dinner that is not hospital food. Why don't you join me?" I offered.

"What were you going to take her for dinner?" He asked me as he stood up, and pulled me up from the couch in the process.

"I was thinking I should make her the macaroni and cheese that our children always loved so much when they were younger. It doesn't take that long and I think she would like it." I smiled. "That and some chocolate chip cookies. She deserves a treat."

Carrick actually helped me cook, something he hadn't done in a while. He was good at making breakfast, but lunches and dinners were either mine or the housekeeper's specialty. He was a good help with the macaroni but when it came to the cookies, my husband was letting his boy-like side show, something he hadn't had show since the boys started giving us trouble, but he was getting flower all over me, and himself. We would need a shower before we left, and a change of clothes.

Once the cookies were finished and cooling, and the macaroni and cheese was sitting on the counter to let the cheese on top melt, Carrick and I made our way up to our bedroom. We quickly got showered and into clean clothes. My husband settled on a blue pullover that made his eyes look even brighter than usual, and a pair of khakis. I wore a blue sweater dress, almost the same shade as Carrick's pullover, with a pair of leggings and boots. I actually hadn't tried to coordinate with my husband, but we looked like we had planned this out.

We got the cookies and macaroni into tuber ware and finally headed out and towards the hospital. I was excited to see Juliette, because in all honesty, I hadn't wanted to leave her when my shift ended, but I couldn't help the nerves I had at her meeting my husband. So far she had been the most weary around men. I just hoped my presence would soothe her.

Carrick stopped before we reached the hospital, at a toy store. "I'll be back." He told me.

I watched my husband a little baffled as he left me in the car to go inside, but he returned just moments later with a bag in hand, which he passed to me when he climbed inside.

I peaked in the bag and smiled. My husband had found a plush stuffed wolf, not a frightening one, but a cute grey wolf with blue eyes, and a blanket with pink elephants on it.

"I remembered how much Christian's blanket helped him at first, and every child deserves a stuffed toy they can hold when they get frightened." My husband explained as he began the drive again. "Let's face it, the ones in the hospital gift shop aren't as soft as these."

The remainder of the short drive to Seattle Children's was fairly quiet. Carrick parked in my designated spot and thanks to my ID, we got to go in the staff entrance and were at the floor Juliette was on in a heartbeat. For a moment, we just stood outside her room, looking in through the window. She had no idea we were there. She was simply curled up on her side, facing the window, probably watching the rain drizzle. It tended to soothe many of my patients who were in the hospital.

"She's so little." My husband whispered. "I thought Mia was small for her age when she was that young, but she's…"

"Exceptionally tiny?" I supplied. "She's about the size of a nineteen month old, aside from being too light. She's 2'7'' and only 19 pounds. She should be at least 26 to be considered the bare minimum of a normal weight for that height. Most children her age are around 3'1'' and 37 pounds. She could catch up to kids as she gets older but I think she'll probably always be very small for her age."

"Dr. Trevelyan?" A voice had me turn around to see one of my residents.

"Dr. Richey." I greeted the young doctor. She had graduated high school and fifteen, college in two years at seventeen, and medical school at twenty-one. That put her at twenty-two and the youngest resident I had ever taught. She was also exceptionally gifted when it came to children, making her one of my favorites.

"I thought you had the night off tonight. I came to check on little Juliette. It's also time for another dose of the pain medication, so a nurse is going to bring that." She told me.

"I do have tonight off. Dr. Richey, this is my husband Carrick. Carrick, this is Megan Richey, the youngest and most promising pediatric resident I've ever taught." I told my husband causing the young doctor to blush.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." My husband told her as she shook his hand.

"Carrick and I brought dinner for Juliette." I told her. "Is she warming up to anyone else?"

"No." Megan sighed. "No, you seem to still be the only one. She finally quit crying when I come in the room, but I've had to make Ryan, I mean Dr. Laurence, leave her to me. She's terrified of him still as well as a few of the nurses. She's warmed up to Amanda so she switched to be her night nurse instead of Abbie."

"Has she spoken to you or Abbie?" I asked softly.

"She asked for you." Megan admitted. "She was wondering where you went. She'll be excited to see you."

"Oh, Dr. Trevelyan." Amanda, another young one to already be working, a registered nurse at twenty-two wasn't that uncommon, but Amanda had two years of experience coming into her job here, which was uncommon.

"I came to bring her dinner. Amanda, you remember Carrick, right?" I offered.

"Of course. It's nice to see you again Mr. Grey." She told my husband.

"Carrick is fine." My husband chuckled. "Mr. Grey makes me feel old."

"Do you have the pain medicine for her?" I asked Amanda.

"I do. I was also going to see if I could get her to drink a pediasure. Should I give that to you for her to have with her dinner?" She offered.

"Yes, the chocolate one is usually the favorite so we'll try that." I agreed.

"I'll go get it. Do you want me to give her the medicine or do you want to do it?" Amanda asked.

"I'll do it." I told her. "Carrick, why don't you wait out here? She doesn't like the medicine and if we want her to trust you, we should give her a positive first encounter."

"I'll hold all this stuff and wait on the pediasure." He assured me.

"Alright you guys, thank you for keeping watch over her. I'm glad you all found two others she could be comfortable with. She's alright Audrey, but she's only a day nurse." I told them.

"Anytime Dr. Trevelyan." Megan told me.

"I'll be right back." Amanda assured us as she handed me the bottle of medicine and a medicine cup before turning to leave.

"I'll motion you in once she's calmed down." I assured my husband.

He nodded so I turned and entered Juliette's room. She turned and perked up at the sight of me. "I'm just going to wash my hands quickly Darling, then I'll be right there."

I made sure my hands were clean, and warmed up a bit, before making my way to the toddler. She offered me a tiny little smile. "Where were you Dr. Gracie?" She asked, her r's still resembling w's which melted my heart.

"I'm sorry Darling, I had to go home." I told her softly as I sat on the ledge of her bed and slowly reached to brush a strand of hair out of her face, happy when she barely flinched this time. She was even getting better with physical contact when it came to me, and it had only been a day.

"I missed you." She admitted as she bit her lip, but a tear rolled down her cheek, which she was quick to wipe away.

"It's alright Darling, it's okay to miss someone." I assured her. "Now, you have some medicine you need to take to make your ouchies not hurt so bad. Can you be a very brave girl and swallow some of the medicine for me?"

"Don't want to." She whimpered.

"I know you don't Darling, but it'll make you feel better." I promised.

"Please don't make me." She told me with tears in those big grey eyes. Her l's were similar to w's as well, and it made my heart break at the thought of giving her something she didn't like, but like with my kids at home when I had to give them medicine, I knew it would make her feel better so I couldn't budge.

"You get a special treat if you take the medicine." I bribed her with a smile.

"A treat?" She asked, hopefully.

"You'll have to wait to see what it is until after you take the medicine, but three treats actually." I smiled, referring to the stuffed wolf, Blankie, and cookies. I wouldn't call pediasure a treat, but I guess that could be considered a treat to some kids. It was just like chocolate milk.

She didn't look happy about it, but nodded, telling me she would take the medicine, so I measured it out and handed the child the little cup. She reached and pinched her nose before drinking it as quickly as she possibly could, making an adorable, disgusted face in the process.

"There you go Darling, that wasn't so bad, was it?" I asked her as I handed her the glass of water that had been sitting on the table by her bed.

She simply shrugged.

"Now, as promised you will get treats but the person who has those treats would also like to meet you. His name is Carrick and he's my husband. I'll be with you two the whole time, but would it be okay with you if he came in to meet you?" I asked.

"Okay." She told me, but her eyes told a different story. She was terrified. My husband had learned how to be extremely gentle through raising Christian though, so I didn't fear he would do anything to frighten her.

I looked to the window and motioned for Carrick to come in. He smiled as he walked in the room, one bag in each hand.

"Letty, this is my husband Carrick." I told her as he approached, stopping a safe distance away as he noted the heart monitor picking up at his presence. "Carrick, this is Letty."

"Hello Sweetheart." My husband's voice was very gentle, much more gentle than it had been recently with the strain of work and the boys acting out, but it was hard not to be gentle around Letty. It was almost like you were around the most delicate piece of glass in the world, that you felt like even breathing wrong would break it.

"Carrick and I brought you dinner as well as a few treats." I smiled. "Let's eat first and then you get two presents and a yummy treat for your tummy."

Carrick pulled out the macaroni and cheese as well as the bottle of pediasure Amanda had brought and slowly approached us, setting the food on the table. Letty's eyes never left him as he did this, but her heartrate didn't increase like it had at first.

I think I made the right choice in making the macaroni and cheese. She ate much more of it than she had the hospital hamburger earlier. She also seemed to enjoy the pediasure, so the chocolate had been a good choice as well. She was back to being silent with Carrick in the room, but she listened as we spoke and she wasn't in tears. That was an improvement. Every other male that had been around her had sent her into a fit of tears.

"Now for your treat." Carrick smiled as he pulled out the tin of cookies. "This is Gracie's super secret recipe for chocolate chip cookies. No one in the entire world makes them as tasty as she does."

"I call her Gracie too." Letty's voice was so quiet it was barely audible, but the big thing was, she had spoken in front of someone else. And a man at that.

"Well that must mean you're a very special girl. Grace only lets very special people call her Gracie." Carrick told the little one as he handed her a cookie.

"You know Letty" I began as I accepted a cookie from my husband "I bet Carrick wouldn't mind if you called him Cary like I do. It's a little easier than Carrick. Would you mind Cary?" I looked to my husband.

"Of course not." Carrick told Letty with a smile as the child literally perked up as she ate a bite of the cookie. "And only special people get to call me Cary."

After the cookie, Carrick pulled out the stuffed wolf and the blanket. "And these are for you Darling." I smiled.

"You can name this guy whatever you want, and we thought you might like a blanket that was more fun than the boring hospital ones." Carrick told her.

Letty's smile was wider than I had seen from her yet as she accepted the stuffed wolf and the Blankie from my husband, immediately curling up with the items.

"What do you think you're going to name your wolf?" I asked her.

"Can I name him Cary?" She asked, looking to Carrick and then to me. I wasn't sure why she had chosen that name, perhaps because Carrick had given the wolf to her, but I found it adorable.

"Of course you can Darling." I agreed.

"I've always wanted a wolf named after me." Carrick told the child, full sincerity in his voice.

Gradually, and slowly, Letty warmed up to Carrick. I wasn't sure why, seeing as my presence hadn't allowed her to warm up to any of the other men she had come across. Maybe it was due to my husband's gentle nature, maybe it was due to her stuffed wolf 'Cary' that she seemed to adore, or maybe she could tell that he cared for her a great deal. Either way, it delighted me. I could tell Letty was slowly wrapping my husband around her little finger, just by the way he looked at her. It was with a sense of awe and admiration, the way he looked at Mia when she was younger. By the end of our visit, which I decided had gone on long enough only when Letty was close to falling asleep, she even allowed Carrick to squeeze her little hand.

"Will you come back?" She asked him, but quickly looked down, seemingly embarrassed from asking the question.

"Of course I will." Carrick assured her with a gentle smile.

"I'll be back in the morning Darling. Try and get some rest tonight. Amanda is here if you need anything." I told the little girl as I hugged her gently, careful not to press on her bruised skin.

"Bye Dr. Gracie." She whispered.

It broke my heart to leave her alone. I was half-tempted to at least sleep in an on-call room in case the little one needed me, but Carrick and I needed to discuss some things tonight with the kids gone, mainly about filing for custody of Letty, and preparing a room for her. I had no doubt in my mind that my husband was fully capable of getting custody of this little girl for us, the real question was when would that happen. I just hoped it would go smoothly, like Elliot and Mia's adoptions, and she wouldn't have to be placed in the foster system for any amount of time like poor Christian had been.

Carrick and I didn't speak until we reached the privacy of the car, but as soon as we were in the car, I turned to look at him. "Well?" I asked him.

"I understand what you meant about that feeling." He told me.

"I could tell you liked her from the minute you saw her." I admitted.

"She's impossible not to feel protective over. She needs people who can keep her safe." He told me as he pulled out of the parking garage.

"So what do you say, can we have just one more?" I smiled.

"I'll start the paperwork and speak with a judge tomorrow." He agreed.


	2. Chapter 2: Her First Night

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So I noticed a fairly major mistake in the first chapter when it came to Christian's age. I had intended for the ages to line up so that during Fifty Shades of Grey, Letty would be approaching her fifteenth birthday, and then would be fifteen through Fifty Shades Darker, and wouldn't be sixteen until Fifty Shades Freed. The way I have it, she would be seventeen during Darker, and eighteen during Freed. It could work, but it's not what I had originally intended. That being said, I made a revision to chapter one.

To sum it all up, in this chapter and the previous one, Mia would be nine (nearing her tenth birthday), Christian would be fifteen, and Elliot I would put at seventeen. Correct me if I'm wrong, we only know Elliot is older than Christian, not by how many years so two would work.

I know that Christian and Elena happened when he was fifteen, and I'm not going to really focus on that in these chapters. This is set around early August, so let's just say Elena hadn't happened just yet. I know that means Mia is probably acting a little young in this chapter for a nine, almost ten-year-old, but certain children mature differently and I liked how I initially wrote her, so I left her as is. Sorry if you guys don't like it, but they'll only be these ages for a few chapters anyway.

I didn't plan on posting this so early, but I got quite a bit more followers on the first chapter alone than I expected. DON'T EXPECT DAILY UPDATES! I have six (almost seven) chapters complete, but I like to space them out so if I don't have time to write, you guys get some sort of content published, even if it may not be new. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 2: First Night

" _But dreams have ways of turning into nightmares."_

― _Erin Morgenstern, The Night Circus_

Grace POV

As it happened, the adoption was much more similar to Christian's than Elliot's or Mia's. Thankfully, even though we weren't granted custody of Letty right away, she was kept in the hospital to recover for all but one week during the duration of the custody hearing. She spent exactly one week in an emergency shelter, which I trusted far more than a foster home, and then I found myself in the car with Carrick and all three of our children on the way to pick up our fourth child.

"I want you to all remember what we spoke with you about in regards to your new sister." Carrick told our children as he drove to the location of the emergency shelter.

"We'll be gentle." Elliot told his father.

"Honestly, we aren't monsters." I heard Christian mumble, causing Elliot to snort out a laugh.

"Daddy, I understand we have to be gentle to Letty, but why do we have to be so gentle?" Mia asked, pure curiosity in her tone.

Elliot and Christian already understood about abused children. Christian himself had been one, Elliot had been around before Christian had healed from the trauma as much as had by the time Mia was old enough to remember her brother. Elliot remembered how loud noises frightened Christian, and how he would hide in closets or under his bed when he got truly terrified. Elliot remembered Christian waking up to nightmares nearly every night. Mia didn't remember that because she had truly changed Christian. Christian became such a different child when Mia arrived, she never saw the abused Christian. She would see the abused Letty though, and sooner or later we would have to explain this to her. She was asking now, so I guess the time was now.

"Mia, some very bad people hurt Letty, so she doesn't trust very many people yet. She may be afraid of you and your brothers for a while, but if you're gentle with her, she will learn to trust you." I told my daughter softly.

"But why would someone hurt a little kid?" Mia asked, tears feeling her compassionate little eyes at the pure thought of someone hurting a young child.

"Some people don't understand how to control their anger, and they take it out on whoever is around them. In this case, Letty was the target of a lot of anger." Carrick explained softly.

"We're here." I told the children as Carrick pulled up to the house in a small neighborhood in the outskirts of Seattle, isolated from the city. I had a feeling there was a reason for that. "All three of you better be on your best behavior."

We climbed out of the car and I smiled at my children. Mia was stuck like glue to Christian's side, as always, and Elliot was pretending to be annoyed by his younger siblings, but I could tell he was just putting on an act.

Carrick linked his hand in mine, interchanging fingers as we walked up to the door, our children close behind us. He rang the doorbell of the home and we waited until an older woman, probably a little younger than my parents' age, answered.

"You must be the Grey family. Please, come in." She smiled at us. "My name is Marilyn, I'm the guardian of the children who come to the shelter."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." My husband told her as we both shook her hand.

"Letty is upstairs in her room. I'll go and get here. Please, feel free to make yourselves at home." She told us as she turned and headed up a flight of stairs.

My children took her "make yourselves at home" quite literally and all plopped on the sofa together, Elliot going as far as to prop his feet up but taking them off the coffee table with one look from me, and I assume Carrick as well seeing him removing a glare from his face.

Letty looked like she had warmed up a little bit to Marilyn seeing as she was allowing the woman to hold her hand, her wolf and Blankie tucked safely away under her other arm, as they walked into the living room. I saw the widest little smile from her as she saw my husband and I, and in an instant, she was in my arms.

"Hello Darling." I greeted her. "I've missed you."

Letty opened her mouth to speak, but closed it the minute she noticed my children in the room. I adjusted the child on my hip as I took a few steps closer to the kids.

"Letty, these are Carrick and my children. They're going to be your brothers and your sister." I explained as they stood up.

"This is Elliot, this is Christian, and this is Mia." Carrick explained to her as he placed a hand on one of each of the boys' shoulders.

"Hi Letty. I'm really excited to have a sister around. These boys are hard to handle." Mia was the first to greet the little girl in my arms, earning a very light, very playful shove from Christian which Mia returned with a laugh.

"You'll like living at home with us. There's lots of fun stuff to do and Mom and Dad are great. You'll see." Elliot assured the little girl.

"And none of us will ever hurt you." Christian finished.

"I like your wolf." Mia told the little girl as she carefully approached me. "Does he have a name?"

Letty nodded. "Cary." She whispered.

"Cary? That's what Mommy calls Daddy when she's happy with him. I think it's a really good name for a wolf." Mia grinned.

"Are you ready to go Darling?" I asked the little one in my arms.

She nodded and I rubbed her back a little, looking to my husband and then to Marilyn.

"You guys are free to take her with you whenever she's ready. Here is her bag" Carrick accepted the small, pink duffle bag as well as a smaller pink lunch box "and her medicine she's still taking from the hospital."

"Alright Darling, we're going to head home now, is that alright with you?" I asked the little one.

She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder, her little fists tightening on the part of my sweater she was holding.

"Oh Dr. Grey, Mr. Grey, you should know that she is terrified of car rides, the poor dear." She spoke softly.

"Would you feel better about riding in the car if I was beside you?" I asked Letty.

She nodded and clung to that stuffed wolf a little tighter.

"Elliot can ride in the front and Gracie can ride with you, how's that?" Carrick asked the little one.

We had decided to address each other as we would normally, Grace and Carrick, and let Letty decide when she was ready to call us "Mommy" or "Daddy". I suspected with the other kids calling us "Mom" and "Dad" or "Mommy" and "Daddy" in Mia's case, she would adjust to the new names on her own.

"Okay." Letty whispered.

Christian and Mia climbed into the back of the SUV and then I got Letty strapped into the new car seat, choosing to sit in the middle seat instead of behind Carrick so I was closer to Letty in case she needed me to be there for comfort. Once everyone was settled, Carrick pulled out of the driveway and began the venture home.

I understood immediately what Marilyn meant by Letty hating car rides. The child was in tears the minute the car began moving, her little knuckles white from her grip on Cary the Wolf. I gently pried the child's fingers off the wolf, and held her little hands in one of mine as I ran my fingers through her long hair.

"It's alright Darling, you're safe." I promised her. "Nothing bad is going to happen to you."

"No car crash?" She whispered, her little R's still pronounced as W's.

I was curious about this. Not much was known when they brought Letty into the ER, aside from her being found in a house with both parents shot and killed. Apparently, there had been some sort of traumatic car crash in this child's short past though.

"No Darling, we aren't going to crash." I promised her. "Carrick is a very good and very safe driver. You're alright Darling, I promise."

The tears didn't stop, and the grip on my hand didn't loosen, until we finally came to a stop in the garage at our home. At Letty's new home. She was in awe from the minute we pulled up in the driveway, like any young child would be taking in a house the size of ours.

"We're here Darling." I told her as I unbuckled and worked on getting her unstrapped, choosing to carry her instead of putting her on the ground as everyone climbed out of the car.

Had she been older, I think we probably would have given her a tour of the house, and the grounds, but there was only so much you could show a three-year-old before her attention would be long gone. She would learn her way around the estate as she grew, but for now we showed her the rooms she would be in most. The family room, the den, the kitchen, the dining rooms, we showed her the backyard, and the pool, telling her not to go outside without one of us, we showed her our bedroom, the kids' rooms, the game room, the home theater, and finally, the bedroom Carrick and I had done for her.

We had either made the mistake, or a wonderful decision, by letting Mia decorate the room. It was very…extravagant. It was a princess-themed room. The walls were a very light yellow, almost white, but around the bottom there was grass painted with flowers, and an occasional butterfly. The ceiling was light blue with clouds, and lighting made it truly look like a real sky. The big part was the bed. It was a queen size bed, but the headboard was a castle, filled with bookshelves that held tons of children's books and little Knick knacks Mia had chosen for her new little sister. The sheets were white with princesses and castles patterning them, and the quilt a simple pink that matched the roofs of the castle. Aside from the bed, she had a desk with a normal bookshelf beside it, a vanity, a loveseat, a doll house, and tons of toys. The walk-in-closet contained the chest of drawers. We had opted to give her more floor space by putting it in the closet which was now full of clothes for her. About half were the size she is now, but the other half were bigger. I was determined to get this kid to a healthy weight.

Her bathroom was left pretty much like it was before the room was made for a child. It was a large bathroom, the size of most normal master baths most likely, and all white. We had put pink towels in the bathroom though, and replaced the shampoos, soaps, body washes, toothpastes, tooth brushes, and everything with children's versions. Letty seemed in awe of the bedroom and the bathroom, and pretty much the whole house.

She was officially worn out by the time we finished showing around, and the kids scattered to their rooms, leaving Carrick and I with our newest daughter. "Are you tired Darling?" I asked.

She nodded through a yawn and Carrick chuckled. "You can take a nap if you'd like Princess."

"Princess?" Letty asked Carrick, a little confused.

"Well of course. This room is made for a princess, so that makes you the princess who lives here." He smiled.

Letty giggled a bell-like giggle, making my heart soar a bit. I hadn't heard her laugh yet. "Would you like to rest for a little while?"

She bit her lip nervously, looking around the room. I could tell she was afraid. She was in a new place, which was enough to make a child frightened about going to bed. I remember having to sit with Christian until he fell asleep the first time in our home.

"Would you like if I sat with you while you took a little nap? I could use a rest as well." I told her softly as I ran my fingers through her long hair again.

She nodded and I smiled at her. Carrick excused himself and I helped Letty get her shoes off before tucking her into her new bed, and sitting on the side. I rubbed her little back, like I had done for Elliot and Mia when they were younger to help them fall asleep, like I had wanted to do for Christian, and was surprised she allowed me to do for her, but she was so welcome to my touch. Only my touch for now, but it was something. In just a few minutes, she was sleeping, and I considered leaving, but I couldn't. I felt the need to stay with my newest child, and make sure she was alright.

I don't think she ever reached a deep sleep. She more dozed in and out for about two hours before I decided to wake her. I was afraid if she fell asleep this late, she wouldn't sleep tonight, and I wanted her to sleep her first night in our home.

"Darling, time to wake up." I told her softly as I brushed her hair out of her face.

"Still sleepy." She mumbled.

"I know, but if you sleep now, you won't sleep tonight. I think Mia would like to play with some of your new toys with you. Would that be okay?" I asked as I straightened her hair a bit.

Her eyes were terrified as she studied me. She hadn't learned to trust Mia fully yet, just a few words to her, but Mia knew how to be gentle, and I felt like having her play with Mia while I prepared dinner was the best way to entertain the little girl.

"Mia's safe Darling. She won't hurt you, she'd never dream of it." I promised the little girl.

"Okay." She agreed softly.

"I'll be right back." I told the little one as I went to retrieve Mia.

"Is she awake?" Mia asked hopefully.

"She is, and I thought you two could play until dinner." I told her.

"Really?" Mia asked, bouncing with excitement.

"Yes." I pierced my lips for a second. "But remember, be very gentle and very calm around her. She's still nervous, in a new place, and getting used to all of us."

"I'll be good Mom, I promise. I'll even speak more quietly than I usually do, like they make us speak at school so it's not so loud." Mia promised me.

Mia and I headed back to Letty's room, where Letty had climbed out of bed and was studying everything. I chose to stay for a little while, watching Mia show Letty the doll house, which seemed to spark some interest in the three-year-old. I made up Letty's bed and waited for a few more moments, just making sure she was alright with having Mia with her, before finally leaving the room and heading downstairs.

All three boys were completely invested with a Mariner's game so I didn't even bother to try and speak to them as I made my way to the kitchen. I settled on cooking some more kid friendly food. We would introduce Letty to more of the "fancy" food we ate on a regular base after she adjusted, but for now, I was perfectly content making chicken tenders, green beans, and mashed potatoes for dinner.

Once everything was ready, I called the boys to the dining room we used for dinner when it was just our family, and headed up to get the girls. Letty and Mia were having so much fun I didn't want to pull them away at first, but Letty really did need to eat.

"Girls, it's time for dinner." I told them softly.

Both girls got up from the floor and followed me down to the dining room. Mia took her usual spot by Christian, leaving the spot by Elliot open for Letty. It was a spot close to my side of the table, so I hoped she would be okay sitting next to her eldest brother.

After a brief explanation of saying grace before we ate by Mia to Letty, we joined hands, Carrick said a quick prayer, and we dug in. I saw Mia eying the chocolate milk looking drink in Letty's glass compared to her regular milk, but I simply shook my head at her, so she wouldn't bring it up. For now, I would let Letty believe that the chocolate drink was whatever she wanted to think it was. It was giving her much needed calories and nutrition and that's what mattered.

The boys were all discussing the fact that the Mariner's had lost to the Yankees in the last inning of the game, and Elliot was moping because it was his belief that there was no way they would make it to the World Series this year. Meanwhile, Mia was telling me all about her ballet class, and I was half-listening, but mostly focused on Letty who ate her meal in silence, but seemingly content even next to Elliot who was probably intimidating to the little girl.

After dinner, we all settled in on the sofa in the family room. Elliot and Mia got invested in a game of checkers as Letty curled up next to me on the shorter end of our L-shaped sofa, eyeing the piano in the room. It wasn't our baby grand, which was in the music room, just a normal piano, but she was so fascinated by it. I realized Christian followed her gaze as well, quickly taking his eyes back to Letty.

"Christian, I think Letty may like to hear you play a song if you don't mind." I told my son.

"You're better at playing than I am." He mumbled.

"Oh Christian, always so modest. I think you outplay me by now. I'm out of practice." I shook my head with a smile towards my son.

"What should I play?" He asked us.

"Cannon in D?" My husband offered when no one else had a suggestion.

Christian nodded and headed over to the piano, now the focus of Letty's attention. She was mesmerized as she watched him play, completely in awe. I could tell she didn't quite understand how the music was being played though, so I sat up a little bit.

"Christian wouldn't mind if you moved closer to watch." I told her softly.

She looked from me to Christian who simply patted the piano bench beside him. Letty very cautiously made her way to Christian, and managed to climb up on the bench, looking up to him in fascination.

"Letty, do you know any songs?" He asked her softly.

She shook her head. I doubted anyone had ever sang the child a lullaby, not with how she was raised. She probably really didn't know one.

"Hmm, there's this song Mom used to sing to me so I could fall asleep when I was little. Do you want me to play it for you?" He asked.

She nodded, still looking up at him, eyes not yet trusting the boy beside her. Christian began playing _All the Pretty Little Horses_ for Letty, who again, was just in awe of how he played. Her eyes watched his fingers dance around the piano. I smiled at the thought we may have another pianist on our hands once she was a little older.

After he finished, Christian smiled at the little girl before he spoke again. "You can push one of the keys if you want. It'll make a sound."

It was rare to see Christian so soft. Less rare when Mia was with him, but still, he was being so gentle with the child beside him, so cautious. He was treating her better than I could have dreamt any of the children would. He probably saw similarities between himself and the little girl. It was a nice change from the Christian who was on thin ice at St. Nicholas Academy, one mistake away from being expelled.

Letty hesitantly pressed her finger on a C key, and then a D, and back to the C. She looked up to Christian with a smile and he smiled back, approvingly.

"You know Letty, there's a really easy song I can teach you to play if you want." He told her.

She nodded, very excited at the prospect. Christian got to work showing her how to play _Mary Had a Little Lamb_ , letting her duplicate the song with simple notes, no chords, but perfect for the three-year-old that was so interested in the piano. When she successfully played the song on her own for the first time we all applauded and she looked to us, a smile on her face.

"That was really good Letty." Christian praised.

"Yeah, you did really well." Elliot told the little girl.

"Will you teach me more?" The three-year-old asked.

"Maybe later, but Mom is the best piano teacher in the house." Christian looked to me. I may have gotten him started on the piano initially, but I certainly couldn't take credit for how well he played. That was all the piano teacher we had hired.

"Will you teach me?" She asked excitedly.

I knew she hadn't called me Mom, and that she may have only looked to me with that adjective because Christian had, but it still made me happy to have her address me after Christian called me "Mom".

"Maybe later, but for now, I think it's time to get you ready for bed." I told her.

It was nearing 8:00 and Letty needed a bath, and probably a story, before bed. Mia's bedtime was at 9:00, Christian and Elliot's at 10:00, so between 8:00-8:30 seemed appropriate for Letty, which meant we were already up a little late.

"Okay." She agreed.

"I'll be up for story time." Carrick told me, leaving me to the bathing and brushing of teeth.

He would probably wind up bathing the three-year-old at some point seeing as I did work nights occasionally, but we would transition to that. There had been signs of sexual abuse on her initial exam, so it would be best to gradually add Carrick into bath time.

Letty took my hand and allowed me to lead her up the stairs to her bathroom. I quickly turned the water on in the tub while I got Letty undressed. She was easy about allowing me to undress her, I had helped bathe her before at the hospital, so this wasn't new. Once the water was high enough, and the right temperature, I lifted Letty into the tub and got to work on bathing her.

Her bruises were healed at this point, but the scars still broke my heart. They would fade, especially with the special ointment I had picked up to put on her after her bath and before bed at night, but the belt marks crisscrossing her spine, the burns on her little chest and stomach, they broke my heart.

After she was cleaned, and wrapped up in a fluffy pink towel, I helped her get her teeth brushed, and finally got her into some pajamas and into bed. Carrick had perfect timing with his return, smiling at the little one curled up in the bed with her wolf and Blankie.

"Would you like for me to read you a bedtime story?" Carrick asked her softly.

She nodded and he walked closer, eying the books on the shelf. "How about an Uncle Remus story?" I offered.

My husband did a wonderful impression of the characters in that book, and they were long enough I knew Letty would be out like a light by the time he finished.

"I think that'll be perfect." He agreed as he found the copy of the storybook we had put in Letty's room. We had several around the house.

I smiled as my husband read the story of the witch doctor to Letty. She was giggling and very interactive at first, but by the last page, she was sound asleep, wolf tucked close beside her, blanket in the other arm, thumb in mouth. She looked precious.

I tucked the blankets around her more tightly and Carrick and I each landed a kiss on her forehead. She looked even tinier if at all possible in the big bed, filling up a very small amount of space on the squishy bed. We turned on the bathroom light, cracking the door so she could find it if she needed, as well as the nightlight, before flipping the main lights out and leaving her room where we found all three older children sitting against the wall. They had been listening to Carrick read, I could tell just from their expressions.

"Do you all want me to read you a story from Uncle Remus?" He asked the children.

"No." Elliot disagreed.

"Of course not." Christian added.

"Yes." Mia smiled at her father.

"Tell you what, Mia, go ahead and get ready for bed and I'll come up to read to you before you fall asleep. Boys, you're welcome to join us if you so desire." Carrick chuckled at the two teenagers who were caught in the act of eavesdropping on a bedtime story.

I peaked in Mia's room when I heard Carrick reading to her. Sure enough, he and Mia were in the bed with another copy of the book open, but both boys were also in the bed, Christian sitting at the foot, avoiding contact with anyone, Elliott on Carrick's other side. I quickly went to retrieve my camera, snapping a picture of the scene without letting any of them see me before heading to Carrick and my room like nothing had happened. I would put that in the family photo album and let them find it themselves one day.

I got myself showered and into pajamas before getting in bed with a book of my own. My husband joined me a little after 10:00, telling me all the children were in their beds, Elliot working on getting to sleep, the other three all sleeping already.

We had a house full, and we were happy.

Our happiness was short lived when a blood curdling scream in the middle of the night woke us. I found myself holding a sobbing three-year-old, who had also wet the bed at some point during her nightmare, as my husband stood behind me, trying to think of something he could do. He wound up taking the three older children back to bed after they came to see what was going on, and getting the bedding changed while I got Letty cleaned up.

Letty's grip on me was still there even once she was asleep again, so I settled on sleeping beside her, letting her cuddle up tightly against me. Carrick made sure I was alright with her before heading back to bed.

It was her first night with us, and set the pattern for many terror filled nights in the future. She was haunted by her memories, just like Christian had been. It would take time to heal, I knew that, but I just wanted to take all the pain away from the child in my arms. I would take it on myself if it meant giving her a good night of rest where she wasn't woken by her dreams.


	3. Chapter 3: Her First Real Birthday

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: I have no self-control when it comes to posting chapters. I've hit chapter 10 in writing currently, and decided to celebrate, I would post chapter three a week earlier than I had planned. Thank you SO SO much to everyone who took the time to review. You guys are part of the reason this is being posted earlier. Enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 3: Her First Real Birthday

" _Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."_

― _Dr. Seuss, Happy Birthday to You!_

Grace POV

By the time June 23 rolled around, Letty had officially lived with us for ten months. She had adjusted fairly well to life with us, but was still very timid around new people and still would only let few people touch her. That list includes Carrick, Elliot, Mia, my parents, Carrick's parents, and I was sure Christian would be on that list as well if Christian reciprocated touch to anyone.

Our girls had been the easiest of the four children this past year. Mia was excelling in the fifth grade, and at cello, and of course, ballet. We had enrolled Letty in preschool before she was fully adjusted to life at home, but we thought she would do better in preschool at St. Nicholas with her brothers and sisters than she would do with a nanny at home while we worked. Elliot was constantly testing his boundaries, both at school and at home. He never did anything bad enough at school for them to really intervene, but detention seemed to be a weekly thing. Christian, on the other hand, was fortunate to not be expelled by now. One particularly bad fight had happened just at the end of the school year, and he broke another boy's jaw, and in the process, he had fractured his own knuckles. I think if it wasn't for the generous checks we wrote to the school around the time for their annual fund, and for Carrick's place on the board, he would be long gone by now.

Nonetheless, today was a day to celebrate, and I would be damned if we let the boys' behavior ruin the first birthday we ever got to celebrate with Letty. It was a Saturday, so we both had the day off, and we already had a full day of plans laid out. First on that list of plans, and our current task, was making Letty's favorite breakfast: waffles, fresh fruit, bacon, and yogurt.

We had done our best to fatten the child up, but she was still underweight. Now, she stood at 2'11'', five inches shorter than the average child her age, and 30 pounds. She needed to put on about three to be at a healthy weight, but it was a far stretch from how little she was when she first came to us, and her increase in height had me hopeful that she would eventually catch up more to her classmates.

After breakfast, we had plans to go sailing. We had gone on Father's Day, like we always did, and she had fallen in love. She adored that boat, so we decided it would make the perfect morning activity. We were actually going to sail all the way to Victoria, and spend the day there, where we would spend the morning shopping, mostly for toys seeing as my youngest tended to detest trying on clothes or even being in a clothing store, have afternoon tea at the Empress Hotel, see a movie at the IMAX, visit The Children's Farm, and finish out at the miniature museum before having dinner and sailing home.

"Should I go wake the other children?" Carrick asked as he noticed I was finishing up on the last batch of waffles. It was a tradition to be woken with everyone singing "Happy Birthday" in our house, a tradition that Letty had seen with all the kids celebrating birthdays earlier in the year, so they needed to be up before Letty. I just hoped my teenagers wouldn't give my husband too much grief at being out of bed before 8:00 on a Saturday.

"Make sure they're in good moods." I told him. "I want Letty to have fun today."

"I'll do my best." He chuckled as he pecked my cheek and headed out of the kitchen.

About ten minutes later, a bubbly Mia, and two tired teenage boys came into the kitchen. Elliot immediately reached for a piece of bacon and I playfully swatted his hand away.

"I'm a growing boy Mom." He groaned.

"You'll still be growing after we go wake your sister." I told him sternly, but with a smile playing on my lips.

We all made our way up the stairs, Carrick and I in the lead, the kids right behind us. I felt a little conflicted about waking Letty so early. She had a particularly bad nightmare last night, and I doubted she got a truly good night of sleep, even with Carrick staying by her side until she was back asleep after we had woken, but at the same time, I wanted her to have a fun day.

Carrick and I moved beside her bed, my hand gently reaching out to wake her how I always did, by brushing her hair behind her ear, and kissing her little forehead. It was on that kiss though, that I instantly knew she had a fever, and a relatively high one at that.

I sighed and glanced up to Carrick as little eyes fluttered open and winced at the light. "Good morning Darling." I whispered as Carrick placed the back of his hand on her forehead, noticing what I had about the clammy little girl. She was sick.

"Are you feeling bad Princess?" Carrick asked softly.

She nodded and tears filled her eyes, her little hands reaching for me. I carefully pulled her into my lap and began rubbing her back. "It's okay Baby." I told her. "Your brothers and sister wanted to sing "Happy Birthday" to you, is that okay?"

She offered a small nod, and we all began singing, much more softly than we usually did due to her feeling so bad, and then the kids left us with Letty, hopefully not about to go devour all the food I had fixed for the little one in case she still felt up to eating.

"What feels bad Darling?" I whispered as I rocked the child in my arms a bit.

"Head hurts." She whimpered.

I sighed as I held her close to me. I hated when my kids got sick. Even as a pediatrician, when it was one of my kids sick, it broke my heart.

"Does your tummy hurt at all?" I asked her as I continued rubbing her little back.

"It's just not hungry." She told me.

So fever, headache, and lack of appetite were on the list of symptoms so far. And if her aversion to the light, and keeping her head on my chest to keep from having to see it was a sign, so was sensitivity to light. There had been a bad virus going around this summer that mimicked the flu. It had actually landed quite a few children in the hospital for observation. It could also be something as little as allergies. This was our first summer with her, so a sinus infection wouldn't be that far-fetched. Or it could me something more serious, like pneumonia, mono, or even meningitis. I was quickly shifting from Mommy mode to Doctor mode as I contemplated her symptoms.

"Cary, can you go retrieve my bag for me?" I asked my husband.

"Of course." He agreed.

I turned the overhead light off, switching to one of the lamps to light the room so it was less bright before returning to the child right as Carrick returned. The more I examined the irritated child, who now clung to Carrick, trying to get me to stop treating her like a patient most likely, the more I leaned towards the more serious of diagnoses I had come up with. If she were any of my normal patients, I would be sending her to the ER for more tests, but I was trying to keep myself optimistic. It could, after all, be a sinus infection. Birthday plans were going to have to be postponed though, because an ER visit was now warranted. It would either rule out or diagnose the more serious of the illnesses, but either way we needed to go.

I gave Carrick one look that told him we were going to have to take her to the hospital and he offered a sympathetic smile as he continued holding our smallest child, rubbing her little back as she rested her sweaty little head on his chest.

"Letty, Sweetheart, we are going to take a quick trip to Mommy's work." Carrick told my daughter softly.

"To the hospital?" She whimpered.

"It'll be okay Baby. We'll be with you the whole time." I promised her. "We just want to make sure you're alright."

"Mommy please don't make me." She cried.

I was shocked at first with her word choice. She actually hadn't really had to address Carrick or I much, so it wasn't that I was used to her calling us Gracie and Cary like she had when we first got her, but I wasn't used to "Mommy" from her. If it wasn't for the scenario causing her to use that word, I think I would be happier, but I was just worried.

"Daddy and I just want to make sure you're okay. I promise you we will not leave your side." I whispered after coming out of my initial shock.

She nodded but didn't seem happy about it. Her hands clung to Carrick's shirt as he stood up, still keeping her in his arms. I quickly grabbed her stuffed wolf she still loved so much and the Blankie before we left her room. Carrick went to get her buckled into the car while I went to let the others know where we were going and to make sure Elliot and Christian would keep an eye on Mia. I was almost at a full on sprint to the car after speaking with my older children. I was getting worried, which wasn't that common when I handled sick children, but I was very protective of my littlest one. She had already experienced so much pain at such a young age that even the thought of her having a cold pulled at my heart.

I chose to ride in the back beside my now sleeping child, and watched her as Carrick drove us to the hospital, much more quickly than he usually drove. He parked in my spot and I had her out of her car seat in record time and we made it to the ER entrance quicker than I thought possible. We didn't have to wait, not even for a few minutes. Letty didn't even seem to mind as a nurse took her arm to place an IV, which worried me more than anything else could have. She wasn't as bad with new people as she used to be, but she still had to warm up to people before they could touch her, so the fact that she willingly let the nurse take her arm with no warning had me nervous.

A battery of tests later, one including a spinal tap which involved Carrick and I having to hold a sobbing Letty, we had a diagnosis. Bacterial Meningitis like I had feared. They had her in a room, hooked up to antibiotics, steroids, fever reducing medication, and in a room. We called to let Elliot know we most likely wouldn't be home tonight, and the kids insisted on coming to the hospital. We had all already been exposed to the meningitis, and would have to take medication to prevent it from developing in us, so I reluctantly agreed, and called my parents to bring the children to us.

The children arrived with all the wrapped presents from home and a large bag I didn't know the contents of. I would have to move my hiding place for future presents, but I assumed Elliot had an idea of where his presents had been kept. His lack of surprise had me thinking he had known for a while where I would hide presents from the children.

Letty actually seemed to perk up as the children entered. I wasn't sure if it was due to the presents they had, or just their presence alone, but she was happy to see them and that alone made me happy.

"We brought your presents!" Mia told her little sister excitedly.

"And we brought dinner." Christian added, looking more to us than Letty.

"AND birthday cake." Elliot smiled.

I peaked in the large bag which had to-go boxes from a local Italian bistro as well as a large box from Morfey's Cakes. My parents had pulled all of this together very quickly, but I was very pleased they had. Hopefully her birthday would have some happy memories after all. I did fully intend on doing our original birthday plans the first Saturday Letty was up for it.

"What do you say Princess? Up for opening your presents?" Carrick asked her softly.

She nodded excitedly, which was a far stretch from the last time she was offered to open presents. I thought back to her first Christmas with us.

" _Mommy! Daddy! Wake up! Santa came!" Mia yelled as she bounced on our bed before running out of the room, probably to wake her brothers and sister._

 _I was quick on my feet to wake Letty more gently than Mia would, seeing as once Mia was_ _ **this**_ _excited, there was no containing her._

 _We found ourselves sitting in the family room, the three oldest children excitedly passing out gifts from under the tree while Letty watched on nervously from her spot glued between Carrick and I as we sipped on coffee._

" _Look Letty! Santa brought you lots of presents!" Mia grinned as she put another present in the growing stack in front of the child._

 _Letty remained silent as she stared at the wrapped packages, tears filling her little eyes. "What is it Darling?" I asked softly._

" _Santa never came before." She told me._

 _I locked eyes with Carrick for a split second. We had assumed she hadn't been given gifts from Santa in the past, but hearing a three-year-old admit that was heartbreaking. I had to quickly wipe a few tears from my eyes, hoping my husband would stay composed._

" _Well it looks like he made up for it this year Princess. He's brought you tons of gifts." Carrick replied simply, probably not sure what else he could say._

" _Ready to open presents Letty? You're the littlest so you get to go first!" Mia exclaimed._

" _Can I?" She whispered as she looked up to me._

" _Of course Baby. We always go around the room and open a present at a time." I explained._

" _Why don't you start with this one?" Carrick offered, holding up a package I recognized._

 _It was a doll he had chosen himself. He had spotted it while we were shopping for our mothers at a tiny antique store in Portland and he had spotted a beautiful porcelain doll that resembled Letty so much it looked like it was meant for her. It had been dirty though, and in need of some attention, so we took it to a doll-maker who gave her a much needed cleaning and added a special glaze to the porcelain that was to make it more durable, so it would be suitable for a young child._

 _Letty seemed a little lost at how to go about opening the box, and Christian, of all the children, moved to kneel in front of her. "It's easiest if you start by pulling on one side of the bow, one of the ribbons. After the bow is off you can just tear all the paper off and open the box."_

 _Letty did exactly as Christian said, but struggled with the tape on the lid of the box, so he helped her. She moved the paper out of the way and froze at the sight of the doll. She pulled it out and instantly held it close to her._

" _Do you like it Princess?" Carrick asked._

" _She looks like me." Letty smiled._

" _She does, doesn't she?" I smiled._

" _The elves did a good job making her, didn't they?" Christian asked her. "I bet Santa told them to make you the prettiest doll they'd ever made."_

 _And so they day continued. After presents, we ate breakfast, then headed to Christmas Mass, and then to my parents'. Carrick's parents joined us there as well, like they always did, and after a meal of filets and lobster, the kids got another round of presents. We left once it got dark, and Letty and Mia were both fast asleep by the time we reached our home, worn out from the day._

 _Christian and Elliot went to the home theater to watch "A Christmas Story", their Christmas Day tradition since Carrick exposed them to it three years ago, and Carrick and I carried the girls to their rooms. I got Letty changed into pajamas, and tucked away with her wolf and Blankie while Carrick got Mia in bed. It had turned out to be a wonderful Christmas._

By the time I zoned back in, Letty had finished opening all of her gifts and was chattering excitedly with Mia about the toys she had received. I smiled on at the scene as Carrick moved to stand behind me.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"I was just thinking about the progress she's made. That's all." I smiled at our little girl.

"She's going to be alright Gracie." Carrick assured me as he pecked my cheek.

I suspected he wasn't just talking about the meningitis. His comment went deeper than that. He just meant in general. Our daughter would heal from her past. She would be okay.

After the present excitement wore down some, we got dinner out. Spaghetti, Caesar salads, and bread sticks. They were three of Letty's favorite foods, and I was glad my parents had remembered that detail about her. It was the first time she had eaten today, and even though she only ate about half of what we had given her, it was better than I could've expected. Next came her cake, princess themed, of course, but Letty loved it. I think she even liked the flavor better than she had how it looked. It was a strawberry cake with mostly vanilla cream frosting, but dark chocolate filling in it.

After cake, Carrick decided to take our older children home. This was after a fight to get injections in all three of them. It was easier in the long run than daily pills for a week. I stayed at the hospital while Carrick took the kids home, but he returned as soon as he could.

It was her first birthday with us, her first real birthday I assumed, and we had some bumps in the road, but the child wound up enjoying her birthday nonetheless, and the day turned out much better than I could have hoped for.


	4. Chapter 4: They're Growing

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

Chapter 4: They're Growing: Times Are Changing

" _Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."_

― _Anne Frank_

Grace POV

"YOU ARE NOT DROPPING OUT OF HARVARD!" My husband's voice roared so loudly I would be shocked if Mia and Letty hadn't heard it from up on the third floor in their rooms.

"It's not like I'm dropping out with no plans!" Christian's voice was raised, but not as loud as his father's had been. "I'm going to start my own business! It's a solid plan!"

"You're nineteen-years-old! You have no idea what the real adult world is like! No one in the business world will take you seriously without a college degree, especially when you are still a child yourself!" Carrick smacked his hand on his desk, actually making me jump a bit.

"I AM NOT A CHILD!" Christian snapped right back, his volume rising as he literally stomped his foot. I was surprised my son's temper had held up this long. Things were only going to escalate from here, and I was going to be the one to have to settle them both down.

"Really? You sure are acting like one right now! You are not dropping out of school!" Carrick yelled. "Do you even realize how much of a miracle it was that you got into such a prestigious school with your background? Once you drop out, they won't take you back. You're throwing your whole future away!"

"I'm not! This is what I want!" My son snapped.

"Wants versus needs Christian! Any competent person knows you need a college degree to succeed in the business world! You have some sort of idea in your head that this is going to be easy!" My husband had calmed, just slightly, but his tone was still firm, and loud.

"I know it's not going to be easy! I know it's going to be difficult and take a lot of hard work! I'm prepared for that!" Christian snapped back, his tone calming just slightly as well. Maybe we would get down to a normal volume after all and have a discussion instead of a screaming match. "I've already had someone invest in the company so I can start it! I'm not asking for your financial support or even your approval, I'm just asking for your support!"

"And I am telling you as your father that you are not going to drop out of school. That is going to be the biggest mistake you've ever made, and that's saying something." Carrick shook his head a bit, sipping on his drink.

"Well, it's too late now." Christian mumbled.

"Please don't tell me you've already withdrawn." Carrick's volume was back up, not quite raised, but louder than a normal conversation like it had just been.

"I've been thinking about this for a while." Christian told his father.

"YOU DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL WITHOUT EVEN SPEAKING TO US FIRST?!" Carrick roared louder than he had the entire time.

"It wasn't your decision!" Christian yelled.

"You're nineteen Christian! You may be an adult by law, but you are still a child! You are still OUR child! How could you do something as serious as withdrawing from school without discussing it with us first?!" My husband yelled right back. "Who gave you the money?!"

"That's none of your business!" Christian snapped.

"It is my business when someone thinks it is okay to encourage my child to throw away their future!" Carrick yelled.

"I'm done talking about this. Like I said, I didn't come seeking approval, I just was hoping you all would offer me moral support." Christian's voice was quiet now, but cold, distant. He wasn't the once happy boy he had been the past few years. "I'm going to stay at a friend's for a while."

"Christian." I sighed as I moved to stand beside him. "Please don't leave Sweetheart."

"I can tell where I'm wanted and were I'm not." He simply told me before turning to leave without another word.

"Well are you happy now?" I asked my husband.

"What did you want me to say?" He asked me, his voice still snappy, like it had been with our son. "I didn't ask him to leave."

"You didn't ask him to stay either!" My voice raised.

"Grace, he's making the biggest mistake of his life by dropping out of school. Do you really believe that he's going to make it in the business world? He's going to try and start up a company, it's going to go crashing down, and then it'll be the two of us having to bail him out by paying back whoever was stupid enough to loan him money." My husband told me.

"Of course I don't believe this is what's best for him, or really that he's going to make it, but he is our child!" I yelled.

"Exactly! He is our **child**! He's not even old enough to drink yet! He was only a year and a half through school! He had a future and he threw it away right in front of us!" Carrick yelled right back at me. "You always come to their defense! You always try and protect them, but I was trying to protect Christian! What do you think he's going to do without a degree?"

"I don't know!" I snapped. "But I don't think going about it by screaming at him, and insinuating that he is incompetent was a very good way to handle that situation!"

"I didn't hear you trying to reason with him! You didn't say anything! How can you be mad at me over how I handled the situation when you had multiple opportunities to intervene?" He yelled, causing tears to fill my eyes.

"I may not have done anything, but you did enough for the both of us. I hope you're happy, because you very well may have just lost us our son." I told him before leaving his office, slamming the door as I did so.

I came face to face with my daughters, both had tears streaking their cheeks. "Christian left." Mia told me simply, looking away from me.

"I know." I sighed as I looked at my fourteen-year-old daughter who was still adverting eye contact, to my much smaller seven-year-old, who seemed terrified.

"It's Dad's fault." Mia continued. "Don't try and disagree with me, I heard you yelling at him."

"Mia, it is not your father's fault." I told her, trying to convince myself of my words. "I was angry with him, and I took my anger out on him. Christian made the decision to leave. Nobody told him to and he is free to come back whenever he wishes."

"Will he come back Mommy?" Letty's voice was barely audible as she looked up to me.

"I hope so Darling, but I can't promise you that." I sighed.

"Is it my fault he left? I swear, I didn't mean to break his favorite kickboxing trophy. It was an accident!" Letty exclaimed.

"No." I shook my head. "No Sweetheart, this wasn't your fault."

"Why did he leave?" She asked as her lip trembled, and more tears rolled down her cheeks, making me gather her in my arms on instinct.

I heard the door open behind me, and knew my husband was with us now. I needed to control my anger for him. It wouldn't be wise to make my daughters detest their father for something I knew deep down he had no control over.

"Why did you do it?!" Mia snarled at her father.

"Mia." He sighed.

"No! It's your fault! Why did you make him leave?!" She yelled.

"Mia, I promise you, I did not want your brother to leave, nor did I make him." My husband spoke calmly. I glanced up from my younger daughter, who was sniffling in my arms, to Mia, who had more tears streaming down her cheeks.

Carrick slowly approached her, putting an arm around her, which Mia tried to shrug off at first, but she needed comfort, so as angry as she was at my husband, she eventually leaned into her father, and allowed him to hold her as she cried.

"Everything's going to be alright. Your brother will come back. It may not be soon, but he'll be back. He wouldn't just leave you two, now would he?" Carrick told Mia softly.

"Come on you two, I think cookies and milk are in order." I told them as I lifted Letty in my arms, and held my hand for Mia. She accepted it, but looked to Carrick.

"Will you join us Dad?" She asked.

He looked to me, his eyes apologetic. He had probably been forced to calm down seeing our daughters so upset. We had both calmed down, and realized we weren't angry with each other. We were just afraid of what was going to happen.

We made our way to the kitchen where Carrick reached on top of the fridge for the cookie jar while I pulled out the milk, pouring four glasses while Carrick put cookies on four different plates. We sat at the table in relative silence as we ate our little treat. Everyone, including my seven-year-old, was thinking things over. Someone should call Elliot before he came home tonight to find his brother wasn't here. Having them home for the Holidays was something I had been looking forward to. Just the thought that Christian may not be around for all the Holiday traditions we had.

"Come on Darling, it's time for bed." I told Letty softly as I stood from the table, offering my hand to her, which she took.

"Daddy?" Letty asked hesitantly.

"Yes Princess?" He asked her.

"Will you still read me a story tonight?" She whispered, fear evident in her voice as she did so. Had she really thought Carrick would break the nightly tradition of her bedtime story over this? He had only missed a few, and that is when work had kept him too late or he had to meet with his firm for special events. I would fill in for him when that happened, or my father if they were watching the children for the night.

"Of course I will Baby." His tone was the softest it had been tonight as he looked to the nervous seven-year-old. "I'll be up right after Mommy finishes helping you get ready for bed. I need to speak with Mia first."

"Okay." Letty offered a small smile.

At this point, Letty pretty much bathed herself. She still allowed me to wash her hair for her though, and with her being my youngest, I would hold onto that for as long as I could. As I sat on the ledge of the tub, I noticed her scars. With how much I had seen them in the past four years, I usually didn't focus on them, but tonight they reminded me of not only how fragile she was, and how Carrick and my screaming match could have brought back painful memories for her, but also of how fragile Christian had been.

He had come so far, healed so much, even gone to Harvard. I could see why Carrick was so furious with him for dropping out, I really did. I was a very strong advocate about the need for a college degree, and it wasn't a question of if you went to college for our children, just where, but at the same time, how could I not be proud of Christian? Even if he had dropped out of school. The fact that he had just survived was something to be proud of. I would call him tomorrow, after he had calmed down, and at least offer my moral support for him even if I couldn't convince Carrick to. I would be there for him in the rare occasion that he succeeded, or I would be there for him if his dreams were crushed, and he fell, and suddenly was forced to face the cruel adult world. He was my son, and I was not going to turn my back on him.

Right now though, I had my youngest to focus on. I wanted to make sure we hadn't frightened her too much earlier. I had to make sure Letty was okay.

"Letty, are you alright Darling? I know that we were all a bit loud earlier." I sighed.

"I don't like it when you and Daddy yell." She admitted as she looked away from me.

"Why Darling?" I asked.

Of course, I knew why most children didn't like it when their parents yelled. It frightened them. I wanted to know why Letty didn't like it. The child had barely ever spoken about her past, and would never speak about her nightmares. We had tried a dozen therapists, but she was a brick wall. No one could get her to speak about what she had witnessed. About what had been done to her. All we truly knew for sure was she had been abused, both physically, and most likely sexually. We knew she had most likely witnessed her parents' death, which was ruled a homicide, then a suicide. Her mother had shot her father, and then herself. I knew she had to remember parts of her past though, because she dreamt about it. Often. The nights of blood cuddling screams were less often, probably twice a week, but every morning her blankets were all twisted up, her pillow tear-stained.

"I don't want to talk about it." She told me quietly.

"Letty, Darling, I know…I know you don't _want_ to talk about things like this. You never have. Sometimes though, even if you don't _want_ to talk about things, you may _need_ to, in order to feel better. Will you please talk to me?" I asked her.

"I remember when I was little, a man and a woman yelling. Anytime they yelled, the man would hurt me. If he left, he would slam the door. The woman never hit me, but what she did hurt worse." She told me, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

This was more than she had ever said about her past. I didn't want to bring up awful memories for her, but I did want her to talk about what had happened. We had tried for four years to get a breakthrough, and I was having one now. It may be while my child was in the tub, and while I was already emotionally fragile from Christian's departure, and Carrick and my screaming match, but I had to pull it together for this little girl right now.

"What would the woman do to you?" I asked her, refraining from addressing those two as her mother and father. I think deep down Letty knew, but she wasn't using those titles, so I wouldn't either. They lost those, in my opinion, the minute they laid a finger on their child.

"She had a knife." Letty told me. "She would just poke it in me at first, but if I cried, she would drag it so it cut me. Sometimes she would use her matches too. She liked to light them, and act like she was going to light a candle, but then she'd make me hold them so they'd burn me. I couldn't move my hand or she would tell the man. If she told the man, he would get really mad at me. When the man was mad at me, things were really bad."

"What happened when he was mad at you?" I whispered as I began putting shampoo in her hair. The bath water was cooling down. I needed to finish up so she wouldn't get cold.

"I would have to please him." She spoke at a volume so very low I barely heard her.

I didn't want to know more, not really. I didn't want to know how a monster had molested my child before she came to live with us, but the more information she was willing to share, the better.

"What would happen if you had to please him?" I asked, noticing Carrick in the bathroom door out of the corner of my eye. He wouldn't come in, not when I finally had Letty talking. Anything could make her stop, and he knew how crucial this was. If she spoke with us, maybe therapy would finally start working.

"I…I don't want to talk about it." She whispered.

I wouldn't press her on that, even though I had a good idea of what it meant. To molest a three-year-old, I would never understand. How could anyone see such a pure little child as a sexual object? I still wanted to keep her talking though, so as I conditioned her long hair, I moved onto a different question.

"Darling, you never liked loud noises. Fireworks terrified you up until recently. Do you know why loud noises scare you?" I asked, hoping this may get her to tell me about when her parents died. Gunshots were loud, and it's what we suspected had terrified her of fireworks those many, many years ago. New Year's Ever her first year with us was quite the event.

" _Mom! Mom look!" Mia called from where she was with Letty and some other children that's families were staying at the ski resort in Aspen._

 _Mia and the other children had sparklers, being carefully monitored by a few parents unlucky enough to be caught up in that mess. Carrick was one of those._

" _Very pretty Mia!" I praised as she spelled out her name._

 _We had been having a blast on this trip. It was really the first family vacation we had gone on since Letty joined our family, and it was good to escape for a while. We needed it. Elliot was about to graduate high school, and would head to the opposite side of the country to Harvard come August, and Christian had been acting…strange lately._

 _Parts of him seemed better, parts seemed worse, but escaping had seemed to pull him into a sort of friendly state, even if he still was distant from us. I tried to blame it on his age. Most almost sixteen-year-old boys weren't too close to their parents, but I feared something different was going on. For now though, his fights at school had ceased and his grades had made a drastic turn around, but I still worried for him._

" _The fireworks are about to start." I heard Elliot mumble to Christian. They were just a few feet away from me, both sipping on something I was trying my best to believe was punch, but I assumed was beer. Neither were acting drunk though, and you had to pick your battles, so I chose to ignore this one unless they started getting out of hand._

 _Carrick came closer with the girls and took the empty lawn chair beside me, and also taking half of my blanket. It was cold, snowy, but everyone was sitting out in the snow for the fireworks display that was going to take place. I allowed Letty to crawl up in my lap, bundling her up with a blanket and letting her use some of my body warmth as well._

 _Her little head tilted up as one of the fireworks shot up. She was fascinated at first, but the minute that sound resonated, all hell broke loose. She began trembling, her pulse increased, a sob raked through her little chest._

 _How could I be so stupid? Of course she would fear loud noises. Without a second thought to it, I carried her into the lodge, and to the suite we had rented. It was much quieter with her._

 _She never fully calmed down as I rocked her, humming her favorite song "All the Pretty Little Horses", but she eventually fell asleep. I think the tears finished out her exhaustion as well as it being close to midnight. They had done the fireworks before the ball drop, so parents could put kids in bed that wouldn't make it to midnight._

 _Carrick came up to find us long after Letty had fallen asleep. I still held her though, still in the chair by the fireplace, still rubbing her little back, hoping that would soothe her if she started to rise from her slumber._

" _Is she okay?" He whispered._

" _She's going to be fine." I assured him._

" _I should have known that would scare her. It traumatized Christian too the first time. I just forgot that there was once a time Christian disliked fireworks." He admitted._

" _I did too." I agreed._

That had been one of the first times I felt like I had failed Letty as a mother, but certainly not the last. The small triumph of her speaking to me tonight had me on the opposite end of that spectrum. I felt conflicted to feel happy she was speaking to me, because my heart was breaking with each word, but like I had thought earlier, she needed this.

"The loud noises scare me because of the guns." She whispered, breaking me away from my memory of the New Year's Eve minor fiasco.

"What guns Baby?" I asked as I rinsed the conditioner from her hair.

"The woman got really mad one day. She yelled at the man and then she shot him. It was loud and he started bleeding. Then, she shot herself. I dream about it a lot. I tried to help them, but I couldn't. I had to be all alone until the police came. I was scared." She whispered.

"Is that all you dream about?" I asked.

"I'm tired Mommy, I don't want to talk anymore." She whispered.

I accepted this, and pulled her out of the tub. She was exhausted enough to let me dry her off and get her into pajamas. Carrick had left the minute I was pulling her out of the tub, probably to let Letty believe that no one else had heard, that what she told me, only I knew. I would have told him anyway, so I didn't mind him eavesdropping, but Letty may have other feelings on that matter. Once I had brushed through her hair, and she had brushed her teeth, I got her into bed, and Carrick joined us for story time.

I could tell he was distracted as he read the book to our little girl, and once she was asleep, he kissed her forehead, like always, but remained for a little while longer, unable to leave her.

"She's going to be okay." I promised him. "Come to bed, we should talk."

He nodded and kissed our daughter's forehead one more time before following me out of the room. Mia was already in her room, and remained silent when we knocked. She either didn't want to speak with us, or had fallen asleep. I expected the first, but hoped for the latter.

Once Carrick and I were in our rooms, I kissed him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. What happened with Christian, it wasn't your fault."

"I shouldn't have been so harsh with him. I was just so mad Gracie I…" He trailed off.

"I know. Amends can be made come morning." I promised as I squeezed his hand. "I'm going to offer my moral support for him. That's all he wanted. He's our son and I feel like we owe him that much."

"I'm beginning to believe the same thing." He agreed.

"He may succeed, highly unlikely, and he may fail. Either way he will need us when either happens. Either to celebrate, or to comfort." I told him.

"I'm going to do my best to calm down and call him after work tomorrow." Carrick promised me, looking to me with tear filled eyes. My husband didn't usually cry, but this day had been full of tears for the whole family. "And Letty…I knew it was bad but she just…I didn't know it was _that_ bad."

"Now that we know, we can help her heal." I whispered.

"I wish we could go back to when they were all smaller, and everything was simpler." He admitted.

"If we went back to before Elliot caused any trouble, we would only have one child. If we went to when Christian was younger, well, life was not simple then. Mia's arrival brought joy and healing to Christian, but a slight bit of envy to Elliot, and we wouldn't have our youngest. I wouldn't call Letty's arrival simple either. It may have been a complicated life we've lived, but I wouldn't trade our children for the world." I told him.

"Nor would I." He agreed.

"They're growing, times are changing. The best we can do now is learn to support them in their current stages of life." I shrugged.


	5. Chapter 5: An Empty Nest

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Wow, so this is the last chapter with Letty's childhood (yes, that means the next you'll see of her will be teenage Letty around the same time as Fifty Shades). It's honestly a little hard to let go of Little Letty, but you've got to let children grow up, even if they are fictional characters. It may be the end of childhood Letty, but don't fear, flashbacks will reveal more of her past in time. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It drags on a little, but it's what I felt like should take place between Little Letty and Teen Angst Letty.

Also, I can't even begin to explain to you guys how writing has been going. I got all the way up to chapter sixteen and then decided I hated everything past chapter 12, so I deleted 13-16. It was a struggle and I contemplated not posting anything else until I got caught back up. BUT I promised a loyal reviewer I would post chapter 5 today and chapter 6 (Letty's first teenage chapter) Saturday, so I decided ah, who care. And without further ado, here's chapter 5.

Chapter 5: An Empty Nest

" _The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires."_

― _Dorothy Parker_

Grace POV

It had been much more quiet than it had ever been in our house the past two weeks. We had dropped Mia off for college at Harvard, like we had her brothers when they were eighteen. Mia wanted to study French and Fashion. Those were two of her favorite things. She had no idea what she wanted to do with either of the potential majors, but it was just her first year, so she could do whatever she wanted this year, and figure out what she wanted to do in the process.

As for her brothers, Elliot and Christian are surpassing all expectations. Elliot runs a very successful contracting company, his annual salary much more than most twenty-five-year-olds could dream of. Christian was an even bigger surprise with Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc., becoming the youngest self-made billionaire in the country. Honestly, Carrick and I felt bad for ever doubting his ability so many years ago, but who would have thought a nineteen-year-old would build a multibillion dollar company in the matter of four years.

Anyway, with just my every so tiny eleven-year-old at home the majority of the time, it was simply quiet most days. The loudest days were if any of Letty's teammates were over. She was quite the soccer player. She had been asked as a fifth grader to play on the varsity middle school girls' team at St. Nicholas as their starting left midfielder, and played on a travel team composed of girls a year older than her. I couldn't help but worry somedays though, with her being all of 4'4'' and 72 pounds, five inches smaller and 14 pounds lighter than the average sixth grader, and much smaller than the twelve and thirteen-year-olds she played against.

She was a tough kid though, and she was fast. She could outrun any and all of the girls she had ever played against, and being left footed, with a strong foot, made her the dream left midfielder for any coach. If she got the ball, she could make it down the field and cross it in for an assist with ease. She also had an excellent long shot on her, and had learned how to score off of corner kicks. She amazed me on the field.

She, like Mia, had declined to do martial arts, but unlike Mia, had taken up kickboxing lessons, because she admired Christian, though I doubt she would admit that as the reason. She was also already a wonderful pianist.

Letty was still haunted by nightmares most nights though, and unless she was on the soccer field, new people couldn't touch or speak to her. Soccer was a healthy outlet for her to interact with new people without going into a full-blown panic.

It had been obvious to me from the day we arrived back from taking Mia to college that she was missing her siblings. Christian was so busy that it was hard to even convince him to stop by for dinner, and Elliot did his best, but with a growing company of his own, he wasn't around much either. Carrick had been gone quite a bit too. He was up for District Attorney, and worked most nights until 9:00 or 10:00, so it had mostly just been my daughter and I at home for dinner. It was breaking her heart, and I was beginning to notice that more and more.

"I'm going up to my room." Letty told me as she finished her dinner.

"Won't you stay down here with me for a little while?" I asked her. "We can watch a movie, even if it is _Harry Potter_ for the billionth time."

My daughter didn't even smile at that, like she did any one of us joked about having to watch her favorite movie series again. She had seen those probably a dozen times, and read the series six times all the way through. She just loved the world of Harry Potter.

"I have homework." She disagreed.

"Anything I can help with?" I offered, hoping she would accept so we could spend some time together, even if it was me helping with sixth grade level homework.

"It's just French." She shook her head. "I'll be fine."

And just like that, she was gone. I sighed as I leaned back in my seat. What was I going to do with her? Especially without others around to give me their opinion. I knew one thing; I was going to request that Carrick drop out of the running for District Attorney. It may be selfish, to ask him to give something like this up, but if he did get the position, he would be home less than he ever had been, and we only had seven more years with a child in our home. Letty needed her father around.

With nothing else to do seeing as Letty had put the dishes in the dishwasher after dinner, I made my way to my bedroom. I took a long, soothing shower, got into some pajamas, and pulled out a book. Around 9:30, the time Letty is supposed to be in bed, I got up to go check on her. I gently knocked, but upon no response, pushed the door open.

She was laying on her bed, French textbook still beside her, _Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince_ laying open on her stomach, lamp still on. She had fallen asleep reading, like she often did now that she was "too old" for a bedtime story.

I smiled and moved to put her textbook back in her bag, and her book back on her bookshelf. I tucked the blankets tightly around her, and sat beside her for a moment, just watching her sleep. She was still so little, but she had grown so much. She was less of my "little girl" now, and more of my ever growing daughter. With a quick kiss to her forehead, I turned her lamp off and headed back to my room, only to hear the sound of the garage door. Carrick was home.

He was in our room in just a few short moments, and looked exhausted as he put his briefcase by the door to our room. "Long day?" I asked him softly.

"Exceedingly so." He agreed.

"Sit with me for a minute?" I asked.

He nodded and sat on the bed beside me, wrapping an arm around me before kissing me, the taste of expensive wine and an equally as expensive cigar on his lips.

"I had to go to dinner with the mayor, and then he wanted all of us to go out and play pool and smoke cigars." He explained when he noticed the look I gave him. "Is Letty already in bed?"

"Sound asleep." I agreed.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly.

"Carrick, I…I need to ask you something. Something that is probably entirely selfish, but I feel as your wife, I can ask of you." I told him.

"Alright." He told me.

"Please don't take District Attorney if it is offered to you." I told him, giving him a moment to take in my request before I continued. "It's just, Letty is lonely with her siblings all out of the house now, and with you working so much, she's just upset. She wouldn't even watch a movie with me after dinner, she just went up to her room. We've only got seven more years until she's off to college as well and I think we should spend as much time with her as we can."

"You miss Mia and the boys." His statement was probably supposed to come out as a question, but it didn't. It was a statement. An accurate statement.

"Almost as much as Letty misses them. I miss you too, and so does she. I just don't want you to work more than you _have_ to. We have plenty of money, so the job would just be a title. I don't think you need that title to be happy. In fact, I think you would be happier without it." I smiled.

"I was considering dropping out of the running." He told me. "If you want me to, I will. No questions asked, no disappointment. If you think it'll be better for you, and for Letty, I'll call in the morning, and let the mayor know if that's what you want."

"It is what I want, but is it what you want?" I asked him.

"All I want is to make you and our family happy." He told me. "So that means I will call in the morning, and you can expect me for dinner tomorrow night."

"Thank you Cary." I whispered as I took his face in my hands and kissed him.

"Anything for you Gracie." He smiled as he kissed me right back.

"Another thing." I told him. "Mia's fall break falls the same week as Letty's."

"What were you thinking of doing?" He asked.

"Well, Letty has only been to Disney World once, and she was far too young to really remember or appreciate it, so I was hoping we could go. I'm going to beg and plead with Elliot and Christian to come as well." I smiled.

"Well, you'll have no trouble with Elliot." He laughed. "He's an oversized toddler, you know that. Christian, on the other hand…"

"I'll set Letty on him. She always gets her way." I laughed.

"I'll go ahead and let the firm know the dates well in advance, do you know them off hand?" He asked.

"Well they're out the week of October 3rd, but the following week is Columbus day, so they actually are out of school from September 29th until October 8th. We could fly to visit Mia for a day, and see how she's settling in though, so we can let Letty have September 28th off. So, I guess ask from September 28th until October 8th off." I smiled.

"Will you shower with me?" He asked me softly.

"I already showered." I told him.

"I had other plans in mind." He smirked.

And so I found myself stripping down once more tonight, my husband running the shower water as he shed his suit.

…

On September 28th, I found myself flying first class beside my husband, eying Elliot, Christian, and Letty who were sitting on the other side of the aisle. Elliot and Letty were invested in some movie on Letty's portable DVD player, and Christian was typing away on his phone. He promised once we landed, he would not work for the duration of the trip. I didn't fully believe him, but one pout from Letty would probably do the trick. That's why he had agreed to come on this trip with us, Letty's begging, and a few tears.

It was only a five-hour flight to Cambridge, and we were already four hours into it. soon enough, we would be checking into our hotel before making our way to Harvard's campus to visit Mia. Tomorrow, we would board a three-hour flight to Orlando, and we would check in at The Grand Floridian, where we would stay for a grand total of eight nights before flying back on October 8th.

All of the kids, aside from Christian, were ecstatic about this trip. Christian wasn't showing much excitement, but he would enjoy not working. I knew he would if he would just allow himself to. He always enjoyed vacations, even though he hadn't gone on one since we took a trip across Europe after Mia graduated high school. When Christian graduated, we had taken a trip to Australia, and for Elliot, a trip to China. Mia had chosen Europe, where we toured multiple countries, but spent the most time in Paris. When Elliot finished out college, we wound up going to Japan, because he wanted to see more of Asia. I think my children have officially been to every single country in Europe with various trips now, and Letty hadn't really liked Asia or Australia much, so I wasn't sure what Letty would choose when it was her turn, but we would go there. Anywhere in the world. They were very well traveled, which accounted for how nonchalant they were about a five-hour plane ride.

On the descend into Cambridge, I noticed Christian finally put that phone of his away, and noticed Elliot eyeing Letty with caution. She got airsick about half of the time, and it usually came on when we were landing. She looked a little pale, probably queasy, but she didn't wind up actually vomiting, which I was grateful about.

We only had carry-ons for our stay in Cambridge, all of our other luggage had been sent ahead to Disney World so we wouldn't have to worry about it. It would be waiting for us in the suite we had rented. We had found a suite where each person would have their own bed, aside from Carrick and myself of course, but we were perfectly content sharing a king size bed.

We rented a car and headed to check in at The Charles Hotel, and then to go meet up with Mia. She wanted to get lunch at a café you could walk to from campus.

Carrick knew the city and campus well, having spent his college years at Harvard, so we had no trouble finding Mia's dorm building. She greeted us outside, motioning us to follow her in so we could meet her roommate and see her dorm.

Mia's roommate, Lily, didn't give off the best of first impressions as she gaped at my two sons, but she was Mia's best friend, so I wouldn't have to tell her the girl seemed a little…well, boy crazed, in my opinion.

Letty was so excited to see Mia, almost as excited as she was to have both her brothers with her. She was admiring all of the decorations my daughter and Lily had put up, and telling her all about middle school, and her best friend, Rocklin, who she assured Mia was still just that. Her best friend, not a boyfriend, and her other best friend, Macy.

Carrick extended the lunch invitation to Lily, who to Christian and Elliot's dismay I was sure, agreed. The bistro was adorable, and had very good food. I could see why Mia liked this place so much. After lunch, we walked the girls back to the dorm, but Mia would be staying with us tonight. Elliot took the small carry-on suitcase from Mia, her luggage had been sent ahead as well, and we made our way to the hotel.

Having all the kids together made me so happy. We had wound up getting three separate rooms, one for Carrick and I, one for the girls, one for the boys, but we all congregated in Carrick and my room. It was constant chatter the entire time until we all had to get ready for dinner. Carrick wanted to take the children to the restaurant where he had proposed to me back when I was just in medical school, and he was just in law school.

Giulia was exactly how I remembered it, the Italian dishes just as amazing as they had been so many years ago. During dinner, Letty was asking Mia all about college, and boys, but apparently no one had quite caught my oldest daughter's attention yet. This was much to the joy of the men at the table, and the disappointment of my youngest daughter.

After dinner, we made our way back to the hotel. I was ready to turn in for the night, personally, seeing as we needed to be at the airport by 5:30 for our flight to Orlando, but Letty was begging and pleading for us to play monopoly together, which we hadn't done in well over a year, and conveniently enough, she had put in her carry-on.

Monopoly went as it always did, stressfully. It always caused tension between the kids, and I was laughing at the irony when Christian was the first to go bankrupt. It came down to just Carrick and Letty, both with equal property, both with multiple hotels on the board. But Carrick landed on Letty's Boardwalk Property five turns in a row, while all she landed on were his slum properties, so Letty came out on top around 1:30AM, and I finally sent everyone to bed. We would all need to sleep on the flight tomorrow.

…

When I woke, I felt the need to go back to sleep, but we had to be at the airport in an hour and a half, and I needed to make sure all the kids rolled out of bed and got showered before we left. I sighed as I woke my husband, before taking the spare keys to the kids' rooms once I was sure Carrick wasn't going back to sleep.

I woke the boys first before my girls, Christian groaning but getting out of bet, Elliot complaining about wanting "five more minutes" like he had all through middle and high school. I smiled as I ran my hand through his messy hair, and told him he had to get up. I woke the girls soon after the boys, and Mia threw herself out of bed when I shook her shoulder, wanting to get in the shower first. Letty groaned. "Monopoly was a bad idea." She decided.

I chuckled and kissed her head. "Come on Darling, you'll be in Disney World in just a few hours but only if you get up and ready for the day."

"I'll shower as soon as Mia's out." She assured me.

We all slept for the duration of the flight, and then accepted our privately hired transportation to the hotel. Carrick got us checked in while the kids wandered around the gift shop. I went to get the four after Carrick had room keys in hand and laughed when I saw them all wearing Mickey ears. One of the girls had even coaxed Christian into a pair. Before any of them could say anything, I purchased all four pairs, as well as one for Carrick, and one for myself, and laughed as the boys grumbled about how they were never going to wear their ears.

After a nap, we all got into more summer, lightweight clothes, and headed to Magic Kingdom for the remainder of the day. The crowds were very light, so we got to ride everything the kids wanted to. Even Christian admitted he wanted to ride Splash Mountain.

It was nice to see him so laid back for once, in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, phone left in the hotel room, acting his age for once. Dinner was delicious at The Crystal Palace, and we stayed all the way through fireworks, which in time, Letty had grown to love much like Christian had, and finally headed back to the hotel room.

We went to sleep early that night, needing to catch up from the previous, and preparing for a long day ahead of us in Animal Kingdom the next day, followed by reservations we had to see Cirque Du Soleil in Downtown Disney.

…

It was nice to finally have the family together again, even if it was just for a little over a week, and I found myself teary-eyed at the airport, where Mia would fly back to Cambridge, and we would all head back to Seattle. The trip had been so lovely, but it made me miss having all my babies under my roof. We would have to do vacations on all school breaks. Aspen for the New Year was going to be a must this year. I may have an empty nest at home, but I would be damned if I let my children grow distant just from living away from one another.


	6. Chapter 6: The Mystery Woman

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Yay! Letty is finally older! Sorry if you guys wanted her a little one for a little while longer, but she had to grow up eventually and this is where the main story starts. Consider chapters 1-5 like a really long prologue to introduce the now teenage sister of Christian Grey! I'm currently re-reading Fifty Shades Freed, but with the way I read, it should be done in a day (thank you Christmas break). I wrote this on January 3, approximately one week before I'll be in classes and my Tuesday/Thursday is rough. I go from 7:45AM-5:15PM so you guys pray or whatever for me. It's going to be awful. For my last Tuesday and Thursday free though, I'll be writing all about little, or not so little anymore, Letty.

Chapter 6: The Mystery Woman

" _It was just a normal day, a day like any other. But most of all it was a day in which everything was exactly the way it should be."_

― _Nicholas Sparks, The Choice_

Letty POV

" _You deserve this you little Cunt." Man told me as he landed another harsh kick into my side. It hurt, so badly, but he was so big, and I was so small. I couldn't do anything to defend myself. I was tiny, defenseless, I couldn't make him stop._

" _Careful Ed, you don't want to kill the Bitch." Woman laughed as he kicked me right in the head. "Just her body, not the head."_

" _You, shut your fucking mouth! This is none of your goddamned business!" Man yelled at Woman. Woman had just tried to help me, at least some. He wouldn't listen though. It just made him kick me harder, and harder, over and over._

" _Ed, seriously stop! You're going to kill her!" Woman yelled._

 _Woman had never cared about me before. Why was she trying to stop him?_

" _Abigail, you will shut your goddamned mouth or I'll knock you into next fucking week!" Man yelled as he kicked me again._

" _Damn it Ed!" Woman yelled as she moved towards us._

" _Stay back Abigail! The little cunt deserves this!" Man roared as he kicked me again._

 _Woman reached into her coat pocket, and pulled out a shiny silver object. She pointed it at Man, and then there was a really loud noise. Man landed on the floor, right beside me. Sticky red, almost looking like grape juice, came out of his head and got all over me. I looked to Woman, scared. What was wrong with Man? She pointed the silver thing at herself, and the noise happened again, before she fell too, the same stuff coming out of her head. Woman was quiet. Man was quiet. No one yelled._

 _I was hungry, but I was too scared to move. It hurt to move. Moving got me hit. I just laid beside Man and Woman until there was banging at the door. "SEATTLE PD, OPEN UP!" A man yelled. He sounded like Man, it scared me._

 _There was another loud sound, and the door fell on the ground and lots of people ran in the room. I curled up into a ball and prepared to be hit. I saw hands reaching for me._

" _NO!" I yelled. "NO!"_

"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME!" I sobbed as the man reached for me.

"Letty!" LETTY!" It was a woman's voice, but not Woman's voice.

"NO! PLEASE!" I sobbed.

"Letty! Darling, it's Mom! Open your eyes!" The woman's voice pleaded with me.

My eyes fluttered open, and they were met with my mother's soft, gentle eyes, watching me carefully. She looked so worried. Dad was behind her, keeping his distance. I had probably lashed out if he had tried to wake me. That's usually why he was a distance away from me when I was awoken like this.

"Sorry." I whispered as Mom handed me my glasses.

"It's alright Darling." She assured me as Dad passed me a glass of water.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Dad asked softly.

I drank a gulp of water before shaking my head. "Can't remember what it was about." I lied. "What time is it?"

"4:30." Dad told me as he glanced to his watch.

"I'll just stay up then. My alarm is set for 5:20 for my morning run anyway, so I'll head out earlier and make it longer." I told my parents.

"Sweetheart, it's a weekend. You should get more sleep." Mom sighed as she ran her hand through my hair, something she had done since I was a child to calm me.

"I'll be fine Mom." I groaned, my tone a bit harsher than I had intended. Seeing the tiny look of disappointment that glazed over her face, I forced myself to offer a small smile and soften my tone. "I'll take a nap in the afternoon if I'm tired. I'm fine, really."

"We'll be up shortly Princess." Dad told me as he kissed my forehead. "We were thinking of waffles for breakfast. Do you want bacon or sausage?"

"Bacon please." I told him as I sat up.

"Be careful on your run." Mom told me as she stood up from my bed.

"I will be." I agreed.

She and Dad left and I dragged myself out of bed. I put in my contacts, and checked the weather on my Blackberry, curtesy of Christian last Christmas after I harassed him enough asking to play around on his. It was only 40 degrees out, cool for a May morning in Seattle, and their was a light drizzle. I settled on a pair of my workout leggings, a t-shirt I had stolen of Christian's when we had gotten drenched on a run while I was staying with him for a weekend a few weeks back, my favorite baby blue rain jacket, and the running shoes I always wore when it rained.

I had to brush through my tangled hair before I could braid it. Fixing my hair used to be quite the task, with it reaching my waist, and being rather thick, it was almost unmanageable some mornings, but I had perfected it by now. In no time, I had a long French braid that went to the side. As soon as I had my phone tucked safely away in the arm pouch and headphones in ear, I set out around 5:00, an hour earlier than I usually left for my runs on Saturday mornings.

A typical Saturday run for me was seven miles. It would take me roughly fifty minutes depending on the pace of my jog, and the trail I took. Today, I would probably add on another three, and make it an even ten.

Running helped me take my mind off of things. When I was on runs, it was just me and my music, my focus solely on what was directly in front of me. It was one of the activities I enjoyed the very most, aside from soccer and kickboxing, probably my favorite thing to do.

At exactly 6:20, I was back at home, and shedding my now muddy shoes and wet jacket in the garage before jogging upstairs to my bedroom. I started the shower water, to let it warm up, while I got my hair unbraided and my clothes off.

I stared at myself in the mirror and couldn't help but sigh. My scars were so visible to me. Regardless of how much my parents, or Mia, or even Elliot and Christian would tell me they weren't obvious, they were what held my attention. My gaze wouldn't leave the scars that littered my chest, stomach, and spine. My least favorite was the gash on my left thigh. It had been deep, and the lack of stitches caused it to heal on it's scar and leave an ugly scar. I hated them. All of them. They just tried to force memories of my past to surface.

My body, aside from the scars, was something I considered beautiful. I was small, still so very tiny, just 4'10'', and 88 pounds. I had muscles though, even if they were barely defined. You might be able to count my ribs, but you could also see a six-pack on my abdomen. Mom wanted me to put on some weight, but technically, by the BMI scale, I was only underweight by a pound. Mom was worried though, she wanted me to be healthy. It seemed no matter how much I ate, I never gained a pound. Some might find this a blessing, but in some ways it was also a curse.

I shook my head as I took the contacts out of my eyes, and slipped them in their case. I stared at my charcoal grey eyes, exhausted from my lack of sleep the past few nights. I would make sure to wash my face with cold water, and cover the dark rings under my eyes with makeup. Mom and Dad didn't have to know how little sleep I had received recently.

I let the hot water cool me, washing my hair with my favorite scent of shampoo and conditioner, vanilla Crème Brûlée, which went well with the warm vanilla scented body wash. After I was properly cleansed, I sat down for a second, not quite ready to leave the comfort the shower offered me. I only got out when the steam had increased so much in the bathroom I knew the surfaces would be wet.

I wrapped myself up in my deep red towel, twisting my hair up in another one, and made my way to my walk-in closet, trying to decide what to wear today. I didn't have any plans during the day, not that Mom had mentioned, but I was hoping to be allowed to go to my friend Macy's tonight. Her parents were out of town, something I wouldn't let my parents know, so she was throwing a bit of a party, also a fact my parents wouldn't have to know.

I would get there early, before any other guests, so Mom and/or Dad wouldn't suspect anything when they dropped me off. We would get everything set up with Macy's older brother Liam, who would be mixing drinks for the guests.

Parties were something I had learned to enjoy my first year in high school. Alcohol loosened me up. I wasn't as reserved if I had alcohol coursing through my system. I was bold, I would dance and let loose with other half-drunk teenagers. The best part about the alcohol wasn't just the liquid courage benefit, it was the temporary amnesia. I never really thought of my past when I was intoxicated. Not after I reached the point of intoxication, past the tipsy point, the point where I would black out and not remember a good portion of the night before. That was the best part for me. I may only be fourteen, soon to be fifteen, but my friends were mostly older, from the soccer team, so I was invited to all the parties, and somehow or another, whether it was convincing my parents to let me spend that night at a friend's, or even sneaking out, I did my best to attend as many parties as I could.

I finally chose my outfit for the day, a Pam & Gela long sleeve, white t-shirt, that was missing fabric over the top of my upper arm, and a pair of black skinny jeans. I slipped on my favorite pair of red converse, something Mia would roll her eyes at if she was back from Paris and home, but they were my favorite shoes. I successfully dried my hair, putting some curls in it for the day, and applied just a little bit of makeup to my face, only to even out my skin tone and hide how tired I was. I never dressed quite as formally as the rest of my family, not unless I was required to.

Once I was ready, I made my way downstairs, joining my parents in the kitchen. Dad was flipping some bacon on a skillet, which made my stomach growl just at the sight and smell, and Mom was cutting up fruit. Both were prim and properly dressed, as always, Mom in a camel-colored sweater dress with matching shoes, Dad in a beige pullover sweater overtop a baby blue button down, khakis, and some of his less dressy dress shoes. Even as they've aged, my parents look like the dream couple, the epitome of perfect parents, who have raised two wealthy sons, and whose daughter has just graduated college and is off in Paris.

Then there's me, their fifteen-year-old, damaged kid that gets wasted the majority of her nights. At least I maintain a perfect GPA, and any trouble I get into school is usually minor enough to not have my parents called. If only the knew how many afternoons I spent running off the detention I earned before soccer practice. A twinge of guilt hit me as I thought of how successful all my siblings were in comparison to me. I would never amount to as much as they had, not in a million years.

"Good morning Darling." Mom smiles as she finishes slicing up a mango, my favorite fruit.

"How was your run?" Dad asks as he begins putting the hot bacon on paper towels to absorb the grease from the meat.

"Relaxing, as always." I told them.

"You know Darling, I appreciate you getting exercise, but you could always shorten your runs down to a normal length." Mom smiled.

"I only did ten today, and that's just because I was up earlier than usual." I shrugged.

"Most kids would just appreciate having their workout end early, not add on three extra miles." Dad chuckled as he shook his head.

"Well, I'm not most kids, am I?" I asked him as I popped a strawberry in my mouth.

"That you are not." He laughed.

We all sat down together in the breakfast room to eat, Mom and Dad chatting about their previous work week, and asking me about school. I kept my answers short, simple, not revealing much about my school life. I could keep that private.

"So Letty, I was going to go and visit Christian today, and see if he would go get lunch. Would you like to join me?" She asked.

"Surprise visit?" I asked.

"Well, Elliot called and said he's been around, and I haven't seen him in two weeks…" Mom trailed off.

"I'll join you then." I told her with a smile, half contemplating send my brother a text to warn him, but the element of surprise was always fun.

"Before we go to Christian's, we can go to Nordstorm. I know you've been wanting some new summer clothes." She continued.

I wasn't one for shopping. I detested it really. Even my brothers didn't mind going shopping, but I, I just really didn't like it. It wasn't so bad when it was just my mother and I. After Mia went away to college, I found myself in Victoria on weekends some with my mother, and enjoying the shopping. I could pretend it was something like a trip to Victoria, even if we were staying in Seattle.

"Yeah, that would be great." I agreed, appreciating she was going to take me on a summer clothing haul before Mia arrived back from Paris. "Will you be joining us Dad?" I turned to look at my father who had just shoved a forkful of waffle in his mouth.

He swallowed the food, followed by his coffee before answering. "Actually, I have some work I have to do at the office."

"On a Saturday?" I frowned.

"I've got a big case going on right now." He simply shrugged.

"Wait, one that was in the news recently? The serial killer?" I asked him.

"The suspected serial killer, yes. I'm representing some of the victims' families alongside the district attorney who is representing the state of Washington." He nodded.

"Isn't that kind of dangerous?" I asked, frowning at the prospect of my father interacting with the "Seattle Strangler" who had killed over a dozen men, women, and children.

"I'll be fine Princess, don't you worry about your old man." He smiled.

"So you agree. You _are_ old." I offered a sly smile, big enough so my dimples would still show. If those were showing, Dad could never get angry with me.

"Watch it." He scolded playfully.

After breakfast, Mom and I headed out. The drive to downtown Seattle from our home in Bellevue always took around thirty minutes, depending on traffic. Judging by how it was just getting through Bellevue, I would say it was going to take us longer.

"Mom?" I asked as my mother sighed as she had to almost come to a complete stop on the interstate for the traffic.

"What is it Darling?" She asked.

"Can I stay over at Macy's tonight?" I asked.

"Are her parents okay with it?" She asked.

"Yeah, of course." The lie rolled off of my tongue so easily at this point. Lying to my parents used to be difficult. Not anymore though. I had done it so often that I didn't think twice.

"I guess so. What time were you wanting to be dropped off?" She asked.

"After dinner. Macy's parents are going out tonight, so they won't be back until around 9:00, but Macy and Liam aren't going with them. Macy wanted to get started on a _Harry Potter_ marathon." Again, that lie was so easy, and I knew Mom would believe me.

"We'll take you after dinner then." She agreed.

"Thank you." I smiled, sending Macy a quick confirmation text.

We arrived at Nordstorm forty-five minutes after we had left home. Mom parked in one of the parking garages that she and Dad paid a monthly fee to utilize, but they didn't trust their cars on the streets of Seattle. I probably wouldn't either.

We walked together into the store, and were immediately greeted by a sale's associate, who Mom politely told we would find her if we needed assistance. The store was more crowded than usual. It was officially "tourist season" with Alaskan cruises leaving Seattle nearly every weekend, so all the stores were more crowded than usual.

Mom and I went straight for the brands I always chose, things like "Free the People", "Burberry", "Vineyard Vines", and so-on. I thought we could finally done, when Mom deemed I had enough "casual" outfits for the summer. Honestly, I had more than "enough" in my opinion. My mother would always spoil me, regardless of how old I got. I was her youngest, and she definitely treated me like it. I mean I had more full outfits than days of summer here.

"Now, we need to get you some gowns for summer events." She told me as the sale's associate from earlier took yet another dress Mom had found for me up to a register.

"Mom." I sighed.

"If nothing else, we need to figure out what you're wearing to the Coping Together Masquerade. We've got some time before the event, but if we wind up needing to get your dress any alterations, we need to get it soon." She told me.

"Do we have to?" I whined.

"If you do this without complaint, we can go to the Nike store afterwards." She smiled.

I perked up at this. Mom was constantly telling me I had plenty of soccer and workout things, which honestly, I did, but I could never have enough Nike in my opinion. It was impossible for someone to have to many Nike clothing items.

"Okay, we can get that gown today, but just that one." I told her.

"Letty, please, just three or four more. You'll wind up needing them." She told me.

She was right about that. Summer was sort of the hot time for events. Between my parents' careers, my friends' parents' careers, and so-on, but that didn't mean I wanted to try on expensive gowns I would only wear once right now.

"Can I get a new soccer ball?" I asked. Mom complained all the time that I had over a dozen balls already at home, but it was something about a new ball that made my heart happy.

"Yes." She agreed.

"Then okay, we can get a few gowns." I nodded.

"What color did you have in mind for the masquerade?" She asked as her fingers traced over a beautiful lavender gown.

"Well, until I saw that one, I was thinking silver." I told my mother, nodding to the gown she had grazed her hand over.

She turned to look at it and offered a smile towards me. "It is beautiful." She agreed.

It was floor length, and lavender. The top was a strapless, sleeveless neckline, and the top was fully beaded in silver beads, but the lavender peeked between them. The bottom layer of the bottom dress was lavender, but had a sheer lavender layer overtop that went out more, almost like a ball gown, but not nearly as poufy.

"It's a zero." I shrugged as I checked the sizing. I usually wore double zeros but a regular zero wouldn't be hard to alter down, and it wouldn't need to be hemmed that much.

"Let's see how it looks on you then." Mom smiled.

Mom didn't usually come in fitting rooms with me, but I always needed help getting gowns like this on. To most girls, I guess being topless in front of their mother could be a little embarrassing, but after so many events, and having her help get me ready, I didn't mind. Not to mention my mother is a pediatrician, so she's seen it all before, countless times. It did reveal my scars to her, which were nothing new, especially in the summer with me at the pool almost every day it was warm enough, but still, it did take a lot of trust for me to remove my shirt in front of my mother.

Mom busied herself examining the gown, probably to give me some sort of privacy, to do her best to let me feel relaxed. She knew this took trust, and she wouldn't violate it by examining the scars with sad eyes. She tried her best to conceal her expression when she caught sight of my scars, but her eyes always betrayed her.

I had the dress on, aside from zipping it, when Mom finally decided to step in and help. She zipped it, and as expected, it was too big, but Mom held it in the back so we could see what it would look like on me in the mirror.

I smiled as I saw the dress on myself, it truly was gorgeous. I knew that I was completely sold on it, and anytime I was actually happy over a gown for one of the events I was dragged around to, Mom was sold as well.

"So this is definitely the one for the Coping Together Masquerade, but now we need to go find a few more." She told me.

I sighed as I got dressed again and followed Mom back to the racks of dresses. In the end, we settled on a beige gown, a red gown, a burgundy gown, and a goldish beige gown as well. With the five gowns added to all the other clothes we had gotten today, I internally cringed at the total as Mom simply handed over her Centurion Card without a second thought. Sometimes I truly did forget that my parents were extraordinarily wealthy, much more so even than most of my friends' parents that could afford the 50K annual tuition charge per child at St. Nicholas.

As promised, we walked over to the Nike store, and about six pairs of shorts and six pairs of leggings later, with the promised new ball, we loaded everything in the back of the car. Nordstorm had taken up all our things from their store, so we had to retrieve the key, but that only took a second.

The drive to Escala didn't take much time at all, and before I knew it, Mom and I were in Christian's foyer, immediately greeted by Taylor.

"Mrs. Grey" his voice was shocked "Miss Grey."

"Taylor, I've told you a billion times to call me Letty." I sighed as I shook my head.

"Can't do Miss Grey." he chuckled.

"Where's Christian, Taylor?" Mom asked him happily. "We were hoping to have lunch with him while we were in the area."

"He's in his room but…" Taylor began only to be cut off by my mother.

"We'll go retrieve him." She smiled.

"Mrs. Grey, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you Christian is still in bed."

That was odd. Christian, like me, went on runs almost every morning. He never slept in.

"But if he's still in bed then he must be ill. He's never in bed at this time. Christian never sleeps in." Mom sighed as she glanced to her watch.

"Mrs. Grey, please." Poor Taylor, trying to argue with my mother over seeing one of her children, especially if she was under the impression he was sick. Taylor wouldn't win this one.

"Taylor. You cannot keep me from my son." Mom scolded the man like she would scold one of her children. I couldn't help but snort, about to burst into a fit of laughter, but I covered it with a fake sneeze.

"Mrs. Grey, he's not alone." Taylor finally sighed.

"What do you mean he's not alone?" Mom asked, her gaze becoming that of pure curiosity.

"He has someone with him." Taylor told her.

"Oh…" If I thought Taylor's voice had been shocked when we arrived, it was nothing in comparison to my mother's.

I was probably gaping though. Had we walked in while Christian was getting laid? Maybe that warning text would have been best. Christian didn't really have many friends, and I had never dreamt he had any lady friends of…that nature.

Before much could be said, Christian emerged from his room, white t-shirt thrown on, messy hair, barefoot. I hadn't seen him like this since I was a very young child and he still lived at home. Even when I had stayed with him while my parents were out of town, he was always put together, not a hair out of place, even on the runs we took together, he never looked…fresh out of bed. His hair wasn't ever messy.

The urge to vomit was something I had to hold back when I realized he most likely had just come fresh off of getting laid. Or should I say fresh off of a woman. Gross, he wasn't supposed to sleep with people. Elliot, well, he slept with everyone, but Christian…honestly, I thought Mia's friends might have something in thinking my brother was gay.

"Mother, Letty." He greeted us, kissing mother's cheeks, and then mine.

"Christian, Taylor said you were…well that you had company." My mother still seemed so shocked that I couldn't hold back the fit of giggles I released, earning a suspicious look from my older brother.

"Yes, I have a visitor today." He agreed. "She's…well, she's special."

So it was a girl! And my brother had just called her special?! Never had I ever heard Christian use that word to describe anyone, let alone a woman.

"She?" My mother asked, her voice still so shocked.

It wasn't often that Grace Trevelyan-Grey was at a loss for words, or even shocked, but my brother had made my mother speechless.

"Yes, she." Christian chuckled.

"So, is she your girlfriend?" I asked my older brother.

I never thought I would see the day that Christian had a girlfriend. My billionaire brother that acted like a middle aged CEO instead of a twenty-seven-year-old guy.

"She's…special." He relayed his earlier adjective for the mystery woman.

"What does that even mean?" I asked him.

"Letty, don't be intrusive." My mother scolded lightly, though I knew she was just as curious as I was as to which woman my brother had in his bedroom right now.

Christian was saved from too much more questioning by the arrival of the mystery woman. She looked young to me, no older than Mia most likely, but she was beautiful. She was pale, and had brown hair with bangs that made her look younger, but I gave her total credit because not many people can pull off bangs straight across their foreheads, but the woman made it look beautiful. She was also very slim, and looked very innocent. She had a face that was made for natural beauty. I doubted she had on makeup right now, which could be due to her previous activities, but with a face so beautiful she didn't need it. her eyes were larger than the average eyes, but it only added to the look of innocence about her. As she got closer, I noticed her eyes were blue. Light blue, like the sky. They pulled your attention to them.

"Mother, Letty, this is Anastasia Steele. Anastasia, this is Grace Trevelyan-Grey and Juliette Trevelyan-Grey." He introduced us by our formal titles and I cringed at the use of my full name that was literally never used. If I was Juliette, I had screwed up big time with one of my parents.

"What a pleasure to meet you." Mom told the mystery woman I now knew as Anastasia, as she shook her hand.

"Dr. Trevelyan-Grey." Anastasia murmured and I couldn't help the small smile that crossed my face. That title would last for as long as it took Mom to tell her to call her Grace. Mom was very informal. Only her patients called her Dr. Trevelyan. She even allowed most of her residents to call her Grace at this point.

"Call me Grace," Mom smiled, but I caught a frown on my brother's face. What was his problem? "I am usually Dr. Trevelyan, and Mrs. Grey is my mother-in-law." Mom winked. So she liked Anastasia.

"I'm just Letty." I smiled at the woman who took my hand next.

"So how did you two meet?" Mom asked, looking towards Christian, curiosity filled her facial features.

"Anastasia interviewed me for the student paper at WSU because I'm conferring the degrees there this week." Christian told us nonchalantly, like this was nothing more than a business situation. There was no fulling my mother though. She was more than that. It was news to me that Christian was speaking at a graduation this week though, and usually I knew what he was up to. He and I were very close, but the past few weeks we hadn't spoken much.

"So you are graduating this week?" Mom asked her, still with a smile on her face.

"Yes." Anastasia agreed.

Anastasia's phone began ringing and she offered a small smile. "Excuse me." She told us before picking up the phone that had been sitting in the kitchen.

"Look José, now's not a good time." I wasn't paying attention to my mother and my brother as much as I was to the woman who my brother found important enough to have over.

Christian was still speaking to my mother, and I watched them, acting as if my attention was on them, but it stayed on Anastasia.

"I'm in Seattle." I probably wouldn't have picked up on that simple sentence if it wasn't for my attention being on her.

"José, I'll call you later. I can't talk to you now." I turned my attention to my mother and Christian.

Mom was in full-on conversation mode with Christian by this point. "Well, your sister and I were shopping this morning and Elliot called to say you were around – I haven't seen you for two weeks Darling." Mom told him.

Anastasia had joined us by the end of Mom's explanation. "Did he now?" Christian asked, his gaze going to Anastasia, expression and tone unreadable.

"I thought you might have lunch with us, but I can see you have other plans, and I don't want to interrupt your day." Mom gathered her coat she had shed earlier, offering her cheek for Christian to kiss, which he did.

"I have to drive Anastasia back to Portland." My brother explained.

"She could join us." I suggested as Mom handed me my pea coat I had been carrying more than wearing today. I didn't' get cold often.

"She needs to get back." My brother disagreed, answering for Anastasia, which I quirked an eyebrow at, but the look Christian gave me halted any protest I had left as he pecked my cheek as well. He clearly hadn't wanted this girl to meet us as soon as she did.

"It's fine Darling." Mom assured him. "Anastasia, it's been such a pleasure. I do hope we meet again." Mom offered her hand to the woman again, and Anastasia took it.

"Good luck putting up with my grumpy older brother." I told her, my tone half joking, half serious, earning a glare for me from my brother as I took Anastasia's hand like my mother had.

"Mrs. Grey, Miss Grey?" Taylor asks us.

"Thank you, Taylor." My brother told his "wingman" as I called him, which Christian would roll his eyes at, and correct me that he was just his "security". Why wouldn't my brother just admit he had a friend?

Taylor escorted us to the foyer, and going as far as to escorting us to the car. My brother was very protective of my mother and I, which meant his security team was as well.

"Goodbye Taylor." I told him as he opened my door for me.

"Goodbye Miss Grey." He offered a small smile before going to let my mother in the driver's seat. As soon as we were on the road again, I turned to my mother.

"A girl Mom!" I exclaimed. "Did you ever think that would happen?"

"Don't get too excited Letty, your brother didn't seem too thrilled for her to meet us. I don't think they've been together long." Mom cautioned, but excitement underlined her tone.

"But he had a girl with him! In his bedroom! Mom, I thought he was gay!" I exclaimed, earning a small glare from my mother.

"Juliette." She shook her head.

"Well he's never brought a girl home, never talked about any girls, never been photographed with a girl. This is huge Mom!" I told her. "You can't deny, you're excited."

"A little." She admitted.

"Oh come on Mom, I can keep a secret." I smirked.

"Okay, I am excited. And she seems lovely. A little young, but she's beautiful." She shrugged.

"Right? Her eyes are so pretty? Did you notice them? And she even looks sweet, and very innocent. She's totally right for him." I told her.

"Don't get too excited Darling, it may not last. I'm going to extend the dinner invitation we are having once Mia returns to invite Anastasia as well. Hopefully he will agree to bring her with him." Mom's face seemed permanently in a smile. Christian had seemed happy today with Anastasia, that would put her in a good mood for weeks.

Mom and I stopped for lunch even though Christian wasn't with us, and after eating at the quiet French style bistro, we ventured home. We began unloading the car, putting everything away in my already full closet, aside from the new dresses that would need alterations. Those went to Mom's closet.

"We need to go through your clothes eventually to make room in your closet." Mom told me as she hung the last of the new casual dresses.

"I'll sort through them once Mia gets here." I told her, taking her by surprise some.

"Really?" She asked.

"She enjoys raiding my closet and getting rid of things. I'll supervise but she'll do the hard part." I shrugged as I put a pair of shorts in my dresser.

"I'm going to call your father and see what he wants for dinner. I'll be downstairs." She told me before leaving my closet, leaving me to put away my new Nike stuff.

That was the rack in my closet I was a little obsessive over. Everything in my closet was organized, by season I would wear it, color, style, and so-on, but my Nike stuff all had specific places. Anything I wore for practices was hung together, and my game uniforms hung in the middle. All of my workout clothes hung on a separate rack, but the same side of the closet, and everything there was color-coordinated. I found when things were organized, I simply felt better about life in general. Mom and Dad never had to ask me to pick up after myself. Everything I owned had a place, and if it wasn't there, it meant I was currently using it.

I stepped out into my room and looked around. We had redone it before I began high school last summer. It used to have pastel green walls, with a soccer mural, and multi-colored bedding with bean bags around the television. Now, the walls were gray, almost blue, but gray. All the furniture was white wood, the curtains white, window wood painted white, the door white, all the accents were white and gray. The only color was in the bedding. It was baby blue, the sheets white with polka dots the same color as the spread. The walls were filled with black and white photos of me, my friends, and my family. Each picture had a black frame and I had chosen which ones I wanted to hang up carefully, only ones that truly meant something to me. I had one bookcase filled to the brim with books, and another set aside for soccer and kickboxing trophies. I loved the room I had grown up in. it had gone from a princess room, to a typical middle school girls' room, to a more mature room suited for a teenager. I hoped Mom would leave it like this after I went away to college seeing as it went with the color scheme of the rooms that used to contain my siblings.

The rest of the evening was typical for being home with my parents, a little different because Dad wasn't usually working on Satrudays, but he arrived in time for dinner, which we ate and talked about the day, which mostly consisted of my mother and I filling in my father about Anastasia Steele, the woman who may just have captured the heart of my brother.

After dinner, I hurried to pack a bag for my "sleepover". I chose the dress I was going to wear tonight carefully, and rolled it so it wouldn't get wrinkled in the duffle bag. As soon as I was ready to go, I bounced down the stairs.

"I'm ready." I told my parents.

"I'll take her." Dad told my mom, which meant she had filled him in on my "plans" for tonight.

"Thanks Daddy." I pecked his cheek.

"This woman sure has put our family in a good mood today." Dad chuckled as he stood up, grabbing his coat and handing me mine from the coat rack by the door that led to the garage.

Mom was still working on the dishes, so with a simple peck to her cheek, I followed Dad to the car. He pulled out of the garage and began the drive to Macy's.


	7. Chapter 7: A Night to Remember

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Okay, to start off, I apologize this chapter is a bit shorter than the previous ones. I wanted to end it with a certain part, and didn't want to just fluff everything up. This is a bit of a spoiler for the chapter, but after Letty, drinks, the chapter seems rushed, and a bit chaotic. I intended for this to make her seem intoxicated, but I don't know if I liked it in the end. I left it anyway, so just warning about that.

Also, I think I'm going to stick with Saturday updates from now on. I'm DROWNING in course work and it's only week one. I literally am taking over 20 hours due to double majoring and had to get special approved to have this many courses. Anyway, here's chapter seven. Enjoy!

Chapter 7: A Night to Remember

" _One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk."_

― _Charles Baudelaire_

Letty POV

Dad pulled up to the familiar grand mansion. It was just barley smaller than my home, but unlike ours, which had a sense of hominess to it, there home was sleeker, and modern. The outside looked like something you would see in a futuristic movie, all white, loads of windows, making it revealed to the world, very square in shape, the roof just flat. It looked like it belonged in Los Angeles more so than Bellevue, but it was beautiful, but intimidating.

Dad dropped me off in front of Macy's without a second thought. I didn't even bother knocking, something I would probably be scolded for when I got home tomorrow because Dad would consider it "poor etiquette" but Macy's house was like a second home to me. I spent a good portion of my time here. I may be wasted half the time, Macy's parents traveled for work a lot, so it was the prime location for parties. A fact my parents thankfully didn't know. All they knew was her parents traveled, but they were under the impression I spent the night while they were home.

Honestly, I wasn't that much of a fan of modern interior in homes. I enjoyed Christian's penthouse, but it took time. I think I liked it because I knew it was for Christian, and not a couple raising children. The solid white interior of Macy's house was always a little overbearing, and the furniture being white or black only almost overwhelmed me. There were a few accents of red throughout the home, but it didn't make up for the rest of the mansion.

It didn't matter though, the first floor of the home, or even the second which housed the bedrooms. Everything happened in the basement of the home, where I knew Macy and Liam were seeing as no one had come to greet me.

I made my way down the hall to the stairs that led downstairs. The basement itself was designed to entertain. Before Macy and Liam were born, and before the travel became so constant, Macy's parents Dr. Robert Sutton and Mrs. Nora Sutton, had entertained regularly. They used to throw parties, all the time. The irony that their children inherited that trait almost made me laugh, especially considering the pair had no idea.

Macy's Dad, Dr. Rob as I called him, is a world-renowned neurosurgeon. He is called in literally all the time to various parts of the globe to consult on cases. He's one of the only people qualified to do certain surgeries putting him in very high demand. Nora used to be a celebrity real-estate agent, selling properties to people from established authors to NFL players, and everything in-between. She still works, occasionally, but she's abroad so much it's rare for her to get to do much with her previous career. This time around, Dr. Rob and Nora are in Australia, where Dr. Rob is consulting on conjoined twins that are joined at the head and spine. He's supposed to be gone for about two weeks.

"Hello?!" I called as I stood at the top of the stairs that led to the main part of the basement.

The way the place was laid out was almost like a club itself. It was two floors, but the top floor was just loads of seating, and just around the edge of the wall, leaving it to overlook the main part of the basement. It housed a large professional, LED lit bar that could hold up to sixteen at a time, and there was seating anywhere the top floor was over the bottom. The center of the room was pretty much empty, seeing as it was a large LED dance floor. Aside from that, there was just a DJ booth. There was also an indoor pool, in a separate room, but most of the time, it wasn't used during parties.

The basement was the only colorful part of the house. Or less-so colored, the walls were black, furniture white, but the lights were blues, pinks, purples, and reds, matching the LED dance floor and the LED lit bar. It made all the white furniture appear various colors, and brought life to the house.

"Hey Let!" Liam waved from where he was mixing drinks at the bar. He was probably preparing his famous punch. One glass of that and you were already very tipsy, two had you completely faded, and by three, you were black-out wasted.

"You're not dressed yet?!" I asked as Macy jogged up the stairs and hugged me.

"I was waiting for you so you could help me choose my outfit." She shrugged.

I looked at my best friend in the world, well, aside from Rocklin that is. Macy was my best female friend in the world, Rocklin my best male friend. She was small, only an inch taller than me, and just about four pounds heavier. She was the only friend that could share clothes and shoes with me. She was fairly pale, but had flawless skin, and her hair was naturally platinum blonde. Her eyes for a brief moment reminded me of Anastasia's, blue as the sky, but I quickly shook the thought. It was time to party.

"How is everyone getting here?" I asked her as she linked arms with me and walked towards the stairs that would take us to the main part of the house.

"Scotland, Sammy, and Ryleigh are all using the same excuse you did, normal sleepover, my parents are here, all that stuff. The boys are hitching a ride with Matty's older brother." She told me. "What have you been up to today?"

"Mom and I went shopping for my new summer wardrobe and we went to visit Christian." I told her as we reached the main level of the house.

"I'm only going to say it once tonight, I swear, but your brother is literally gorgeous." She giggled, causing me to groan.

"How would you like it if I said that about Liam?" I countered, half-playing, half-serious.

"Okay, I see your point, but your brother is like supermodel gorgeous, not just attractive." She shrugged as we continued our journey to the foyer to head upstairs.

"He's taken now." I told her.

"What?" She asked.

"Yu-p." I told her, popping the "p".

"By who?" She asked in utter curiosity.

"Her name is Anastasia." I told her. "I just met her today, briefly. I think we might have, umm…interrupted them."

"Oh." She laughed. "Wait, he's taken by a girl? I could've sworn he was gay."

"Right?" I agreed with a laugh. "But yes, taken by a girl. Don't go telling people yet though. He would kill me if it got to the press somehow."

"My lips are sealed." She promised as we reached the door to her bedroom.

It was all white and black, like the rest of the house, but had purple accents on almost every surface, giving it color that offered more warmth that the rest of the home. I tossed my bag on her bed between the two dresses she had laid out.

"Are those the two you're debating between?" I asked.

"Yeah, I just can't figure out which one I like best." She sighed.

I looked the two over. They looked rather similar in length, which was short. One was black, long sleeve, but sheer over the chest aside from the lace that would cover literally just your nipples and the outside half of your boob. It was a little…much, even for Macy who had no shame. The other was black sequin, strapless. I personally thought Macy should wear that one, but hey, if she was bold enough for so much exposure she could have at it.

"So?" She asked.

"I would do the sequin, but if you're really okay with how much the other shows, it is pretty." I told her with a small shrug.

"Yeah, that's one I'll keep well hidden." She laughed.

Macy got her dresses by making Liam take her shopping for them. he would leave her with the credit card their parents had given him, and go off to do God knows what, and then she would keep the dresses tucked away in the back of her closet, the most inappropriate ones hidden in her pajama drawer.

My eight party dresses were all very similar. Tight, short, sequin, long sleeved, covering all my scars aside from the one on my thigh. I would buy them if Mia took me shopping, and listen to Mom and Dad both groan, but allow me to keep them in the end. They assumed I only wore them on New Year's Eve, and at birthday parties. If only they knew.

The dress I had chosen for tonight was one of the shortest ones I had. It literally barely covered my ass and I couldn't dream of bending down in it without everyone getting quite the show. I had chosen it due to it's color, bright red. It was the color I felt most confident in.

"So which will it be?" I asked her.

"I think the sequin one. Liam might be traumatized if he saw me in the other." She giggled.

I nodded in agreement and pulled my dress out. We both turned away to get changed, waiting on one person to say they were finished before turning back around.

"Are you decent?" Macy asked me.

"Yeah." I agreed.

So we both turned, and zipped each other up. Next came the shoes. I borrowed a rather high pair of Macy's red heels, and she stuck to black to match her dress. After shoes came makeup, then we would do our hair, then perfume. It was a process we had gotten good at. I assumed the others would arrive soon.

While I was allowing Macy to apply thick makeup to my face, Scotland, or Scotty as we often called her, arrived. She was followed shortly by Ryleigh, and then Sammy. Once everyone was dressed, and makeup applied, hair all up to let us dance without burning up, we made our way back downstairs. Macy and Liam waited by the door to greet guests, but the rest of us made our way to the basement where music was already blaring.

We all went ahead and grabbed a cup of punch to drink while we waited for everyone else, and once I finished, I was tipsy enough to have told my friends Christian was not gay, but I didn't tell them about our morning. I trusted my friends, but they were all about to get drunk, and they could tell someone stupid enough to talk to someone with parents that worked in the press.

A swarm of guests arrived together, all kids from my school, followed by the group of my guy friends who quickly joined us, and before long, there had to be about two-hundred people in attendance. That was saying something too seeing as our high school only had four-hundred. Literally half the school was here. It was the biggest party I had been to yet. Most of the time it was twenty, fifty, maybe seventy-five, but never this many.

I took a few shots of tequila and then downed another cup of punch. I was at that point of drunk where nothing in the world mattered to me, and the room was spinning, but not to the point I couldn't walk around and dance with people.

I found myself grinding all over one of the senior boys, Damon, who was totally gorgeous. I mean literally, the most attractive guy in the school. He had jet black hair, bright blue eyes, and muscles for days. I could see his abs through his tight white V-neck, and I could feel something else pressing against me. I was turning him out. The thought made me smile, but I wasn't about to jump the guy. I was a virgin, happily so for now. I wasn't comfortable enough to let any guy have his hands all over me in a vulnerable, nude state, unless I was drunk, and I didn't want my first time to be due to alcohol.

I found myself taking a few more shots, and the next thing I knew I was literally dancing on top of the bar with a very drunk Macy and an equally as drunk Vanessa. Vanessa was a senior as well, and probably the most popular girl in the entire school. She was so beautiful it hurt. Flawless skin, red curls cascading down her spine, 5'7'' of all legs, curves anywhere it mattered, but beautifully thin. I envied the girl I was currently dancing with.

Another cup of that punch later and I was at the point of being drunk where things weren't making sense, and I was barely able to walk, especially in the heels I was wearing. Somehow, in this very, very drunk state, I managed to remember my Blackberry in my bra, and pulled it out.

I don't know why for some reason today, the alcohol, instead of making me all drunk and happy and dancing until I passed out, made me decide that dialing Christian to tell him how much I liked Anastasia Steele was a good idea, but for some reason, that's exactly what I did.

" _Hello? Letty?"_ My brother's voice was confused.

I glanced at the time. 1:30AM, I had probably woken him up. Or interrupted him from Anastasia. I giggled at the thought.

"Hello Christian." I slurred, another giggle escaping my lips.

" _Letty, what the hell is going on? Where are you? It's loud."_ He told me.

"I…that is none of your business Mister." I giggled. "I just called to say" giggles interrupted my sentence "how much I liked Anastasia today. You should bring her over for dinner" more giggles escaped my lips "once Mia is back."

" _Juliette, are you drunk?"_ His voice was an octave louder. He was either pissed, or just shocked. I hoped for the latter. My drunken self began to realize that maybe this wasn't the very best of ideas, calling my older brother.

"Obviously" I giggled, but that giggle halted my sentence. I meant to follow it up with a 'not', but I couldn't stop laughing long enough.

" _Where the hell are you?"_ He asked me, his voice was definitely angry, not shocked. I gulped.

"None of your business." I laughed.

" _I swear to God, Juliette, tell me where you are or I call Mom and Dad right now to ask them!"_ He snapped.

Hmm, drunk self couldn't figure out what to do now. Christian was angry with me, but Mom and Dad could ground me or punish me, and then wouldn't let me come to Macy's again without speaking to her parents. Should drunk self tell Christian or not?

"I'm" more giggles "at Macy's. But shhh, don't tell anyone that there's a party."

" _Macy? Macy Sutton?"_ He asked.

"Obviously." I giggled.

" _Stay put, I'm coming to get you."_ He spoke calmly, his voice firm, like Dad when he was finalizing a command or whatever.

"No I just wanna party." I whined.

" _Juliette, it's either I'm coming to get you, or I'm calling Dad to come get you. Your choice."_ He told me.

"Fine!" I snapped as I hung up the phone.

"Letty, who was that?" Scotty called over the music.

"I can't remember." I burst out laughing making her laugh too.

"Come dance with us!" Sammy called to me.

I laughed and nodded, joining them on the dance floor. Nothing mattered to me anymore. Things were like I liked them. Carefree.

At some point in time, I found myself making out with another senior, Luke, the star basketball player. He was tan, muscular, had dark hair, chocolate eyes, and was apparently very handsy. I felt his hands traveling all over me, the alcohol allowing me to not care about this, not at all.

"Juliette, it's time to go home." I heard my brother's voice. My head snapped up. Why was Christian here?

"You came to party!" I giggled as I moved away from Luke and towards Christian.

"Yeah, as tempting as that is, I came to get you." He told me. "Come with me."

"I want to stay." I whined as he took my hand.

"Juliette" He began.

"No!" I snapped.

"I swear to God if you don't come and get in the car right now I will not hesitate to call our father and then the police to report multiple cases of underage drinking." He threatened.

"You wouldn't." I glared at him.

"Oh, trust me, I would." He told me firmly.

"You have no right to make me leave!" I snapped.

"I have _every_ right to make you leave. Now come on and get the hell upstairs and to the car!" He snapped.

It was either go with Christian, or get half the high school arrested. Drunk self considered not going with him, but eventually began walking towards the stairs, losing them at the bottom. I stormed up the stairs, not bothering to see if Christian was behind me, and felt him grab my hand as I turned towards the stairs in the foyer instead of towards the door.

"I have to get my bag!" Drunk self was angry now. No longer was the calm, sober Letty present, just the enraged, drunk Letty who was being dragged from a party.

"Taylor retrieved it for you." My brother told me calmly.

Taylor? He had dragged his damned security team with him to ruin my fun? I simply glared at him and stormed outside, greeted by Taylor who opened the backdoor of one of Christian's SUV for me. I would have slammed it, just to irritate my brother, but Taylor closed it himself before I had the chance.

Christian got in the back with me, instead of beside Taylor in the front, and as Taylor began the drive, it was basically a staring contest between my brother and myself. This would certainly be a night to remember, if I could remember what happened come morning. I broke my cold hard glare on my brother for a moment to look out the window, before turning towards him.

"I hate you." I told him calmly.

"No you don't." He chuckled.

"Stop laughing at me! I was having a good time!" I yelled.

"Yeah, a bit too good of a time!" He snapped.

First, I just randomly burst into tears. The alcohol had heightened all my emotions, and my response was simply tears. I never cried, not in front of people, not since I was little, but apparently, drunk self was fine crying. Then, two things happened successively, first, I vomited all over the car and my brother, then, everything went completely black.


	8. Chapter 8: A Softer Side of Christian

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Okay, so, I wasn't going to post this chapter until one of two things happened. 1. It was next Saturday, or 2. I got a huge amount of reviews. Neither of these happened. Actually, I haven't really had reviews on the past two chapters. This has been really discouraging but the fact that I keep getting favorites and follows has kept me writing. I'm not one to beg for reviews but hey, I'm desperate. PLEASE GUYS PLEASE REVIEW! It not only makes me feel good about myself and my writing, it also really does encourage me and I really do take whatever you say to heart and try and utilize any changes or suggestions in my writing.

I'm not going to be one of those writers that says "I'm not going to post a chapter unless I get X number of reviews", however, I am going to say this. Unless I do start getting reviews, it'll be one chapter every other week, possibly just one every three weeks, until I complete the story. If I do complete this story sooner than I'm expecting to, I plan on just massively uploading all the chapters but so far I've only completed fourteen of the chapters and have planned out at least forty-eight chapters for this story in a detailed chapter guide. So long story short, I've got a long way to go.

SO PLEASE REVIEW! I'M BEGGING YOU! I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU ARE A GUEST! THOSE MATTER TO ME JUST AS MUCH AS PEOPLE WITH ACCOUNTS. SO PLEASE REVIEW GUYS!

P.S., the only reason I'm posting this chapter tonight is because I want to give you guys some more Christian and see if the encourages more readers to leave comments. Hell, I always love reading about Christian. Here ya go though you readers you, here's chapter eight.

Chapter 8: A Softer Side of Christian

" _No matter what happens," Mark said, "I will stay here. I will always, always stay here."_

 _He put his arms around Julian and held him tightly. Julian exhaled, as if he were letting go of something heavy that he had carried for a long time, and leaning on Mark's shoulder, he let his older brother bear just a little of his weight."_

― _Cassandra Clare, Lady Midnight_

Letty POV

I woke in the morning with the worst headache I had ever had. I sat up in bed, and for a moment, I was confused. Where the hell was I? Panic resonated inside of me until I put on my glasses and realized I was in the guest room I always stayed in at Christian's. I calmed for a moment until it really sank in. I was at _Christian's_ and I was very hungover. I was dead.

The walls of the room were a light gray, and had a few expensive, professional, black and white photographs on the wall. It was one of the smaller guest rooms, but it was my favorite due to the view. At night, you had the best view of the space needle in the entire penthouse, and the city lights would illuminate the room if you didn't close the blinds.

The bed was…luxurious, like all of Christian's furniture. It was king sized, and the frame and headboard was black wood. The bedding was gray and white, and the rest of the furniture was white wood making the bed stand out.

I was still so confused as to why I was at Christian's. I had expected to wake up somewhere at Macy's house. Not necessarily a bedroom, not necessarily a couch, or even furniture. But Christian's? Did that mean…had he found me last night? Had he caught me drunk?

I sat up, realizing I was clothed for the first time in something other than my party dress I had been wearing. It was one of Christian's t-shirts, much too large of course, but comfortable and soft. I also had on a pair of my Nike shorts I had packed in my bag for the party. My hair was up as well, in a tight French braid, and I smelled…oddly clean for having been at a party last night. Had Christian cleaned me up and put me to bed? Had I been coherent enough to do that myself?

My bag was sitting on the floor by the bed, so I quickly fumbled around for my phone before heading to the bathroom. Sure enough, the makeup was all washed off my face, perfectly so. Someone had definitely cleaned me up last night, there was no way I was sober enough to remove my makeup fully.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to go downstairs and find my brother or not, but the part of me needing to figure out why I was at Christian's was stronger, for the moment, than my need to not be yelled at.

I slowly made my way down the stairs, and found my brother easy enough, sitting in the kitchen, reading the morning paper in a pair of dark jeans and a sweater, already dressed for the day. He glanced up at me and I groaned. His expression was completely unreadable.

"Headache?" He asked as I sat on one of the barstools beside him.

I nodded in agreement, squinting when the light hit me right in the eyes. He chuckled and got up, retrieving a glass of orange juice, a bottle of Advil, and a container of yogurt.

"Eat all of the yogurt before taking these." He told me as he put two Advil by the glass of orange juice. "You're a little small for two, actually, I probably should really consider only giving you one, but you've got a full day ahead of you."

"Christian, why am I…" I began.

"Eat first, take the medicine. Ask questions afterwards." He held his hand up, successfully cutting me off before I could even ask my first of many questions.

"Okay." I groaned as I ate the yogurt and took the two pills.

"There's breakfast in the fridge that Gail made." He told me. "Are you hungry enough to eat more? You should at least have a bagel."

"Gail was here?" I asked.

"She came last night to get you cleaned up." He informed me. "Now, do you want more food or not?"

So Gail was the one who had taken care of me. It made me feel a little better that my brother hadn't seen me nude, but panic coursed through me at the thought of Gail, Christian's housekeeper that I did know fairly well, I mean I had known her since I was just ten-years-old, but still wasn't on a touching level with, had bathed me and put me to bed. I guess it was better her than him calling our mother but I doubted he would keep last night a secret from them. If I hadn't been so intoxicated last night, I think I would've had a panic attack if I realized Gail had me in a bath tub, with no clothes on, but drunk me apparently hadn't cared.

"Honestly?" I asked, earning a prompt nod. "I really think if I eat anything it'll come right back up."

"Okay, but you will eat in a few hours when Gail makes lunch." He told me.

I nodded in agreement. I would surely be hungry by then.

"Why don't you go get changed from the clothes you slept in? Then we can talk." He told me.

I internally groaned, but externally, just nodded before getting up and making my way back to my room.

The outfit I had packed to wear today was a new one I had bought with Mom yesterday. It was a simple gray t-shirt, just slightly oversized, and a pair of high-waist faded skinny jeans with rips all up and down the legs. The rips up near my upper thighs just barely revealed skin, but closer to my knee, they were more open. A lot of skin was exposed. I slipped on my red converse and went to the bathroom to put some makeup on.

I debated taking the braid down, but it was even better than Mom could do with my hair, and that was truly saying something about Gail Jones's braiding capability.

After brushing my teeth, and finishing up with my makeup, I trudged back downstairs. Christian was sitting down on the sofa that overlooked Seattle now, calmly waiting on me. He had to have told Mom and Dad something by now, because I didn't have any missed calls or texts, but surely, if he had told them what had happened I wouldn't be alive right now. They would have hauled my ass back home to yell at me.

"Feeling better?" He asked me as I sat a little away from him on the couch, enough so that once the yelling began, I would have my space and hopefully, not lose too much hearing.

When I was little, even a raised voice would have me bursting into tears. Now, on the few occasions I had caused my father or mother to yell at me, as long as I had my space, I could hide the overwhelming panic in me well. Usually, this involved zoning out though, and I would never quite remember what the yelling consisted of, but it was better than allowing my parents to see me have a panic attack and try to force me back into therapy.

"The Advil has diminished the headache." I answered his earlier question.

It was silent for a little while longer, Christian studying me with an unreadable expression. I couldn't take his eyes eventually, and looked at the piano. Piano was what had made Christian and I bond when I was just a little girl. At the age of three, he taught me my first song, just a few simple notes, but a song no less. From then on, I admired him, and he adored me. He was very protective, and even though he was acting up, and pissing our parents off every day, one look at me and he was a different person. If only I was still the adorable little child that used to have that power on him.

"You and I need to talk." He broke the silence.

"I'm aware." I told him softly. "Before you start yelling, can I just ask a few questions. I'm a little…um, confused about what happened last night."

"Drinking the amount you did last night will do that to you." He agreed. "And I'm not going to yell at you, or at least, I'll do my best not to. But yes, you may ask questions first."

"What have you told Mom and Dad?" I began.

"What makes you think I've told them anything at all?" He asked.

"Lack of calls or text messages." I shrugged.

"I called them this morning to let them know you asked me if I would pick you up and spend the day with you." He told me.

"Okay, follow-up question. Are you going to tell them what really happened last night?" I asked him, cracking my knuckles, my nervous tick.

"That depends on how this discussion goes." He told me simply.

"Okay, another follow-up question." I sighed. "What did happen last night?"

"What do you remember?" He countered.

"Getting to Macy's, changing for the party, dancing on the bar maybe?" I shrugged. "Not much honestly."

He nodded, taking a sip from a glass of wine that had been sitting on the coffee table. "You called me."

"I called you?" I asked him.

"Yes." He agreed.

"Like, drunk called you?" I continued.

"Yes. I knew from the minute I heard your voice you were intoxicated." He agreed.

"How did you find me?" I sighed.

"You told me where you were. I used an ultimatum to get that piece of information though: either I called Dad to ask where you were and told him why I wanted to know, or you let me know where you were. You chose the latter of the two." He spoke calmly.

"So you came to get me?" I asked.

"I did." He agreed.

"Why did I get a bath, and who bathed me? Gail right?" I asked, wanting to confirm who had seen me nude.

"You got a bath because upon finally getting you in the car, you vomited all over yourself and me, and the interior before blacking out. Yes, Gail bathed you because you were incapable of doing so yourself. I figured you would rather have her do it than me." He told me.

Shit. I threw up on his car. Which car had he brought? Surely if it was his R8 I wouldn't be alive right now. "And your car?"

"It's one of the SUVs, and it's being thoroughly cleaned right now." He smirked a bit, probably thinking about my momentary panic at the thought of vomiting in his R8.

I needed a moment to think about my next question, and all I could come up with was "Gail is very good at braiding."

"Actually, I did that." He corrected me.

" _You_ did it?" I asked him.

"After round three of having to hold your hair while you vomited, I figured braiding it would make things easier." He shrugged. "Is that it for your questions?"

Was that the end of my questions? I couldn't think of anything else to ask, but I did want to delay a lecture from my older brother. Without a thought of what else to ask, I finally sighed as I looked at him again. "I think so."

"Then I have some questions for you." He told me.

"I figured as much." I groaned.

"First of all, was that your first party like that?" He asked.

I couldn't figure out what to say to that. Should I be honest? 'No Christian, that was actually just one of many times I've gotten blackout drunk' or should I play innocent 'Yes, and I'll never do it again'? Which would make him less likely to tell Mom and Dad?

I settled for being honest, but not giving any more details than asked for. "No."

"Do you go to them often?" He pressed.

I sighed. Again, the honest answer of 'nearly every weekend' would probably have him calling our parents in a heartbeat, but what had I revealed in my drunken state last night? Did he already know these answers? Was it a test?

"Define often." I told him.

"Well obviously you don't go every night, our parents aren't stupid, but you do spend a lot of time at friends' houses, so is it always parties?" He asked.

"No." I told him honestly. It wasn't _always_ parties.

"How much did you drink last night?" He asked but shaking his head at the question. "Never mind, you probably don't remember that. Have you gotten blackout drunk before?"

"Yes." I told him, figuring that he could take that as a "once or twice" and not the honest "more times than I can count on both hands" answer.

"Why?" He asked. "Why drink like that? Why put yourself at risk?

"At risk?" I asked.

"Yes, at risk Juliette!" He snapped, his voice not quite yelling, but louder than it had been. He took a moment before speaking again. "Do you know the kinds of things that can happen to women when they get that drunk? Do you understand that all it takes is one guy being stupid and taking advantage of you? Do you know how much you potentially risk being put on the tabloids because of how very public your actions are? Do you realize that drinking like that can give you alcohol poisoning and kill you? And if not the alcohol itself, do you realize with your judgement impaired like that, you could easily get in a car with an intoxicated driver who winds up killing not only themselves, but you, and innocent people in the process? How stupid do you have to be to get like that?"

"Jesus Christ, Christian, it's not like you've never gotten drunk before!" I snapped.

"Not to that point! Not where someone could easily take advantage of me! You are fourteen years old! _Fourteen_!" He yelled.

"I'll be fifteen in just a little over a month." I grumbled. "And who are you to judge?! You were drinking at my age! You definitely _did_ get as drunk as I got!"

"I am not the subject of this conversation!" He snapped. "Just answer the question Letty, why get that drunk?"

Do I tell him? Do I open up to him? Spill my heart and soul? Tell him how it's the only nights I can actually sleep through the night without being haunted by my nightmares? Tell him it's the only time I can let loose and let people touch me? The only way I can dance with someone like a normal teenager?

"Because it helps me forget." I settled on that. It was honest, a little open, but not every detail.

"Forget what?" He asked, his tone gentler than it had been.

"Nothing." I told him.

"Letty." He sighed.

"It helps me forget my dreams okay? It's the only way I can sleep without having nightmares. Happy now?" I asked.

"No. I'm not happy. Of course I'm not happy that you feel the only way you can get a proper night of sleep is to get blackout drunk." His voice was that same gentle tone from earlier. "There's more to this than teenage rebellion, isn't there?"

"Was there more to you at my age than teenager rebellion?" I answered his question with a question, clearly telling him he wasn't getting more information from me about my reasons for going to these parties.

"Alright, I'll stop bugging you with questions." He sighed.

"Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?" I asked him again.

"I should." He told me.

"Christian, please." I sighed, putting on my best puppy dog eyes.

"I said I should, not that I'm going to." He told me. "I'll give you an ultimatum like I did last night."

"Which is?" I asked.

"Option one: I tell Mom and Dad and let them decide what to do about it." He told me.

That wasn't going to work. There was no way. I would have to give up all my friends if he did that. I would never get to go to a party again. Like literally, never. Whatever option two was, I would take it. I would do anything to avoid my parents finding out what I was really up to and ruining my life. "Or?" I asked.

"Option two: you agree to go see Dr. Flynn once a week." He pierced his lips.

I would do anything except that.

"Dr. Flynn, your therapist?" I asked.

"Yes." He agreed.

"I hate Dr. Flynn." I told him. I had tried therapy with multiple therapists, Dr. Flynn included a year or so ago. I would go, and sit in his office, and not say a word. It was really a waste of time for me, time for him, and money for my parents.

"You don't seem to mind John's company when he's been around you." He offered.

"Exactly." I sighed. "I don't mind _John's_ company. Going to see him as a patient is different. I hate therapy Christian, you know that."

"Listen, you and I, we've got similar pasts." A twinge of pain crossed my brother's face. I didn't know if that was due to him thinking about his own past, or mine, but he quickly composed himself. "I hated therapy too. I tried all kinds, with different therapists. John actually helps me. I think he could help you."

"I don't need help!" I snapped, flinging up off the couch. "I'm not crazy Christian! I'm fine!"

"I never called you crazy." He put his hands up in surrender, standing as well.

"I don't need help!" I snapped again.

"It's not because I think you're crazy Letty, it's because I think…no. I don't even think. I _know_ you're hurting. I don't even know if you know you're hurting, but I do, because I've lived through it." He spoke very gently again. "Please, just try it out."

"No! Absolutely not!" I snapped again.

"It's either that or have me call Mom and Dad right now and tell them to come over so I can let them know what you were up to." He reminded me.

"How long?" I asked him.

"What?" He asked.

"How long…how many weeks will I have to see Dr. Flynn for this little deal to be in effect?" I asked him. I would endure, in silence, for a few weeks, if it meant getting to keep my friends and have my life stay the same.

"Indefinitely." He shrugged.

"That's not fair!" I told him.

"I can call Mom and Dad if you would rather…" He began, pulling out his phone.

"Fine!" I snapped. "I'll go see the shrink. Happy now?"

"I'm not happy that you're unhappy, but I am happy because I think this will help you." He spoke calmly and gently again.

"Is Dr. Flynn" the words tasted like vinegar rolling off my tongue "allowed to tell Mom and Dad anything about me?"

"As an adolescent you are entitled to doctor-patient confidentiality. Unless you tell him you plan on harming yourself or others, he is not legally allowed to speak to anyone about what you say to him unless you give him your consent." Christian assured me.

It wasn't that I planned on speaking to him at all, but Christian would probably tell him about me, which meant he would know why I wound up going to see him, and would have the capability to tell my parents. It was reassuring to know he wasn't allowed to.

"Then fine. I'll go see Dr. Flynn for however long you make me unless you tell Mom and Dad about last night." I told him.

"Good, I'm glad. You have an appointment with him Monday evening after your club soccer practice." He told me.

"Monday?!" I snapped.

"He had an opening!" Christian defended himself.

"What are we going to tell Mom and Dad?" I asked him. "They'll wonder why I have a sudden change of heart about therapy and an appointment with Dr. Flynn."

"I'll think of something to tell them. Don't worry about it." He told me.

"But I _am_ worried about it." My voice cracked a bit.

"Letty, I give you my word that I will not tell our parents about what happened last night. Nor will my staff. I don't go back on my word." He told me softly.

He was right about that. Christian rarely ever broke promises. Actually, I couldn't think of a time he had ever gone back on his word.

"It'll all be fine." Christian promised me after I didn't say anything. "Try not to worry. Have I ever let you down? Have I ever broken a promise to you?"

Honestly, no. My brother had never let me down. Not since I was just a small child asking him to help me with the piano, or asking him to not tell Mommy or Daddy when he woke up to my screams after a nightmare and my parents hadn't woken. Not when I fell and broke my leg snowboarding at nine and was terrified and he promised me he was going to stay with me until Elliot found Mom and Dad. He always kept his promises to me, no matter how small, or how big. Our promises remained unbroken. He had always been a good big brother.

"No." I sighed. "No, you haven't."

I'm sure normal siblings would hug after a moment like this. I had been hugged by my brother one time that I could remember, when I broke my leg, when Christian forced himself to hold me for comfort.

" _Letty, slow down!" Christian yelled as I snowboarded easily down the double black diamond towards the jump._

 _I didn't listen, of course. I was a headstrong thirteen-year-old that was still pissed my parents made me have one of my siblings with me anytime I was on the slopes._

 _I took the jump, much too fast, and instantly lost control of my body and went crashing down. The minute I hit the snow, I knew I was hurt. I felt a huge snap in my right leg and then a sharp, stabbing pain as a scream raked through my chest._

" _Jesus, Kid." Christian sighed as he reached me, just instants after I landed._

" _Christian!" I choked out._

" _What hurts? Is it bad?" He asked._

" _I think my leg is broken!" I admitted through a sob. It was rare for me to cry in front of anyone, even my family, so that sob worried Christian as he got to work getting my bindings off my boots as gently as he could._

" _You really think it's broken?" He asked as he tried to push my pants leg up, only causing me to gasp and flinch back. "Yupp, I would say it's broken."_

" _Christian!" I sobbed._

" _It's okay Letty, just relax." He whispered as he moved to sit beside me and pulled me into his arms. "I've got you."_

" _Hey! Do you guys need ski patrol?!" I heard someone call from further up the slope._

" _No." I hiccupped through a sob as Christian held me tighter._

" _Yes, please! We think she's broken her leg!" My brother called up._

" _On it man!" The guy called back._

" _I don't need ski patrol. I can make it down the mountain." I whimpered._

" _You need to stay still. You could get hurt worse. Shit, Mom's going to kill me!" He sighed as he held me closer to him._

 _It was the first time he had ever held me like this. He didn't seem uncomfortable, like he often did with touch, but I think part of this was due to his own adrenaline running through his system at the thought of me being hurt._

 _Ski patrol took us down the mountain and to first aid where Christian called our parents, and they met us there. I snapped my leg in three places, and was sent to the hospital to have it set. They were clean breaks, thankfully, so they were able to just manipulate the fractures and cast it without surgery. The ski trip to Aspen turned into sitting at Christian's house on the couch, watching Harry Potter with various members of the family that got stuck "Letty-sitting" as Elliot called it, while everyone else hit the slopes._

That was really the only embrace between my brother and I, Christian and I would just kiss each other's cheeks instead of hugging each other. If we danced together at an event, it was at arm's length. Unlike Mia, who would embrace our brother just because he didn't tell her to stop, I knew Christian didn't want us to touch him. I respected his boundaries more. As I pondered what to do next, I was saved by the arrival of Gail.

"Mr. Grey, Miss Grey, lunch is ready." She spoke, breaking the silence of the room.

"Thank you Mrs. Jones." I blushed as we made eye contact. "Not just for lunch, but umm…" I trailed off, blushing in embarrassment.

"Don't mention it Dear." She smiled at me. "Mr. Grey, would you like another glass of wine?"

"That would be great, thank you." He agreed as we followed her into the kitchen.

She had made soup and subs. Something light, which I appreciated. I assumed she knew I didn't feel the greatest after a night like I had.

The subs were on French bread, the only kind Christian had ever liked, even when we were younger. He had roast beef on his, and I had turkey, which was lighter, and also my meat of choice. I appreciated Gail going at lengths to make me comfortable.

The soup was delicious, broccoli cheddar, and went well with the subs. Christian chuckled as I dipped my sub in the soup before eating it.

"What?" I asked him between bites.

"I forgot you did that." He admitted.

"It's not that uncommon." I shrugged.

"Just a memory is all." He shook his head.

"Which one?" I asked.

"You probably don't remember it. You were just five." He shook his head.

"Tell me?" I asked.

"Dad was working a big case, and wasn't set to be home until 10:00 or so. It was a Friday night, so Mom was doing all of the cooking, not the housekeepers. She got called in, so she had no choice but to leave me with you. Mia was at a friend's house, and Elliot was already at Harvard when you were five." He began. "All I knew how to cook was grilled cheese, so I made us sandwiches. They were burnt, obviously, but you didn't say anything. Well, you didn't say anything except you wanted soup to go with yours. So I found tomato soup in the pantry and tried my best to heat it up on the stove. It started boiling and soup got everywhere in the kitchen, but I was more worried about you. It got all over you and I was afraid I had burned you and Mom was going to kill me. You seemed un-phased and simply said you wanted to eat so I got the soup into bowls and we ate at the bar, because I was afraid to get that soup anywhere else. You kept dipping your sandwich in your soup and insisted I try it. You got me hooked on tomato soup anytime I have a grilled cheese."

"You got hot soup on me?!" I asked, pretending to be astonished.

"I sure did. And I had to clean it up off of you too. You let me wipe it off of your arms and legs, and I told you to change, but that didn't change the fact that it was all in your hair. I wasn't about to figure out how to bathe you, so I tried to wash your hair in the kitchen sink." He laughed, shaking his head at the memory.

"Did it work?" I asked with a smile.

"Sort of. I think all it did was get us drenched, and force you to get into a different set of clothes again that day. I read you a story to go to sleep that night, for the first time." He smiled.

"But not the last." I chimed in.

"Hmm?" He asked.

"I remember you reading me stories when you were home from college. I would always make you read me that same book." I smiled as I thought back to those early, happy memories.

"I remember." He agreed. " _Where the Wild Things Are_ , you loved that book."

"You could probably recite it by heart if you thought long enough." I laughed.

"Possibly." He agreed. "Why did you like it when I read to you so much? Dad did much better with bedtime stories by using his different voices."

"It was because I missed you I guess. I wouldn't let anyone read that book to me aside from you, not even as I got older." I shrugged.

"I missed you too, when I was at school. And Mia, and Mom. Dad and Elliot too, but especially you three. You and Mia…I would've done anything to protect you too. Hell, I still would." He told me a little more seriously. "You scared me last night."

"I'm sorry." I told him, not sure if I believed it myself.

"Letty, when you called…I didn't know where you were. Or who you were with. For all I knew, you were at South Park or Rainier Beach. I was scared something might happen to you, and I wouldn't be able to protect you." He softened as he looked at me.

"I'm sorry I frightened you." My apology was more normal now. I wasn't sorry about going to the party, or even drinking, but I did feel bad about scaring my brave older brother.

"All this because you still dip your sandwiches in your soup." He chuckled.

"It tastes better this way." I added, glad for the change of subject.

For the rest of the afternoon, Christian and I spent it how we used to, before he was a billionaire, busy CEO. I made him play Monopoly with me and then we played duets on the pianos for hours. Gail made a wonderful chicken alfredo for dinner, accompanied with a Caesar salad, and when it was time for Christian to take me home, seeing as I had school the next morning, I found myself sad. I wish I could have more days like this with my older brother. Seeing him carefree was an anomaly now, and I was surprised I had gotten him to lighten up, especially given my activities the previous night.

I watched the drizzle of rain fall as Christian drove me home, Taylor in the SUV behind us most likely, but we were in Christian's car. I saw a softer side of Christian today, one only I could probably still bring out of him. It was a side of him I had missed, and hoped, for the sake of the woman he had in his life, he would let show more often.


	9. Chapter 9: A Normal Day

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: To answer one reviewer's question, yes. Christian and Elena did happen, but (spoiler) that doesn't necessarily mean he'll fully be able to protect his little sister in the future. Also, if I knew all I had to do was ask for reviews, I would've done that a long time ago. You guys are awesome! I just finished chapter fifteen and am halfway through chapter twenty-five, so I'm making progress. I'm going to have to stop myself from writing too much seeing as I have about a billion things going on at school right now.

Chapter 9: A Normal Day

 _At a normal high school, having class outside on a gorgeous May day is usually pretty awesome. It means sitting in the sunshine, maybe reading some poetry, letting the breeze blow through your hair..."_

― _Rachel Hawkins, Demonglass_

Letty POV

I was only sure that Christian hadn't told my parents what had happened when I got home that night. They were excited to see me; excited I had agreed to give therapy another shot. I had no idea what explanation Christian had given them for me "wanting" to try therapy again, but what I did know, something my parents didn't know, was that I had no plan to cooperate with Dr. Flynn. I had told Christian I would go see him, I never said anything about speaking to him.

I woke up at my normal time for weekdays, 5:45AM, and headed out on my run, just three miles due to the school day and club soccer practice I had following it. I showered like I normally would, fixed my hair and makeup, and got dressed for school. It was the same outfit, every single day, so I didn't have to figure out what to wear. I just grabbed a set of the uniform and slipped it on.

It wasn't awful. Not really. It was a burgundy and gray plaid skort, that was supposed to reach right above my knee per the dress code, but all the girls, myself included, wore them shorter, more mid-thigh, a white button down shirt with a tie the same plaid as the skort, a burgundy sweater vest, navy blue blazer, white knee socks, and a pair of Sperrys.

As soon as I was ready, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen. Everything was back to being in full swing, slightly chaotic, with the weekend over. Our housekeeper, Gretchen, was here, fixing breakfast, the gardener was outside, our maids would be here by the time I was leaving for school, and things were just less relaxed than on the weekend.

"Good morning Darling." Mom greeted from where she sat, sipping on a cup of coffee as she ate an omelet.

"Sleep well?" Dad asked as he ate his omelet, eyes coming up from the paper to glance at me.

"Yeah." I lied as I joined them.

"What would you like in your omelet Letty?" Gretchen asked me as she refilled Dad's coffee mug. She had finally agreed to call us, and by us I mean the "Grey Kids", by our first names after we had all insisted and Mom and Dad told her it was alright.

"Salsa, avocado, cilantro, and lime please." I told her with a smile. She nodded and left to go fix an omelet for me, leaving me to my parents.

"You've got a busy day ahead of you." Mom pointed out. "Is your soccer bag packed?"

"I got it packed last night." I agreed. "Who gets the honor of taking me to practice today?"

"I'll be the one taking you." Dad informed me. "I have a trial this morning so I should be done by the time school lets out. If the trial runs late, my secretary will come and get you but I'll send you a text if that happens.

After Mia went off to college, being the youngest without a license meant all kinds of people chauffeured me around. I was used to Dad's secretary or one of Mom's residents picking me up for practice on club practice days that I didn't happen to be riding with a teammate. I didn't even care at this point who picked me up from school, as long as I wasn't late for practice.

"Sounds good to me." I shrugged.

Gretchen returned with my omelet as soon as it was ready and my mouth watered at the sight. I dug in as my parents discussed their upcoming work days, and then it was just small talk while we finished up eating.

After breakfast, Mom took me to school on the way to work. This gave her the opportunity to bring up therapy again. "I hope John can help you as much as he's helped Christian."

For the love of God, why did everyone think I needed help? Okay, Christian, may have been justified by thinking that. He had witnessed me blackout drunk which concerned him, even though I didn't think it was a big deal, so maybe he had the right to say that. But Mom? She had no right.

"I don't need help! Why does everyone keep saying that?" I couldn't help but snap. Sleep deprivation and irritation were catching up with me.

"I know you haven't been sleeping well." Mom told me, momentarily surprising me. She hadn't snapped back, she didn't seem angry, just concerned.

"So? Kids my age usually don't sleep." I told her.

"Juliette." She sighed. Ugh, the full name.

"I'm fine Mom." I told her.

"Then why did you agree to go see Dr. Flynn?" She asked.

What did I say to that? Because I like to get super drunk as much as possible and I got caught Saturday night and now Christian is blackmailing me? That wouldn't go very well.

"It's none of your business why I agreed to it." Was that really the brilliant response I came up with? I really needed sleep if I had any hope of not pissing off every member of my family this week. And today was only Monday.

"Darling, I just worry about you." Mom's voice was gentle, not angry. I was a little surprised she kept her cool after the tone I had just used. Maybe she was blaming sleep deprivation too.

"I guess it's just…Christian tried out loads of therapists, and actually doesn't mind Dr. Flynn. Maybe if I give him a chance this time" yeah, fat chance of that, I added in my head "I could grow to enjoy therapy as well."

"Regardless of your motivation to see Dr. Flynn" Uh oh, she was calling my bluff "I'm glad you're going to see him. It'll be good for you."

"I'm not crazy." I whispered after a few seconds.

"I know you're not crazy." Mom assured me, like Christian had. "Christian isn't crazy either. Sometimes, you just need an objective third-party person to speak with in order to figure some things out."

"Can we just stop talking about this?" I asked.

"Yes." She agreed. "If your father winds up taking you to practice, he'll just stay and watch and then take you to see Dr. Flynn. If your father's secretary, or anyone else takes you to practice, I'll come and get you and take you to your appointment after practice is over."

"I'm assuming you'll want to speak with him?" I asked her, trying to remind myself that Christian had told me that I had patient confidentiality. He couldn't discuss anything he learned about me with her, which would probably have come from Christian, unless she volunteered the information.

"I just think that for him to be able to treat you the very best, he should know why your father and I have been worried about you." She explained.

"And why is that? If it's just the nightmares, I can handle that just fine." I told her.

She shook her head as she continued driving, remaining silent for a few moments before speaking again. "It's not just the nightmares."

"Then what?" I asked her.

She didn't answer. She focused on the road, and presumably, was hoping I would just drop the conversation. I wasn't ready to drop it yet though.

"If you and Dad have some concerns about me, maybe you should speak to me about them too. Not just the therapist I'm being for-" I cut myself off, shaking my head at how stupid I had almost been. I had almost told her this was Christian's decision, not mine. "Not just the therapist I've finally decided to go and speak with." I corrected myself.

I could tell by the look Mom had on her face she had caught on somewhat before I had corrected myself. I didn't know if she had pieced together what I was going to say, but I hoped she hadn't. If nothing else, I needed to sleep more to make sure I didn't say something I shouldn't to one of my parents.

"Your father and I will always worry about you." She told me, piercing her lips. She was hiding something. I knew she was hiding something.

Again, I began to question if my brother had really not said a word to them about Saturday night. If he had even hinted to them about anything I had done, they wouldn't be calm. They would be too angry to play it off as if they had no idea. Was it possible he had said something though? One sure way to find out I guess.

"Can I go over to Macy's Friday night?" I asked.

"This Friday?" She asked me softly.

"Yeah, is that alright?" I asked.

"Mia is getting her very early Saturday morning. If you want to go to Macy's, one of us will have to pick you up well before you want to be awake." She laughed.

She was right about that. I tended to "sleep in" when I had friends over or stayed at a friend's place. The reasoning behind this, was, to my parents, because we stayed up to odd hours of the morning talking and laughing. In all honesty, that was true if I had friends over at home, no drinking involved, but if it as after a party, it was to recover from the night. There was no way I could go on a morning run after getting blackout drunk the night before.

"What if Macy came over?" I asked. It had been a while since my best friend and I had a normal sleepover, and my parents adored her.

"We were going to just have a day with the four of you Saturday." Mom sighed, and for a minute, I cringed at the thought that she was mad at Macy. I had to remind myself to keep calm, and that it was just a timing thing. "She can come for dinner Sunday night if she would like. I know she adores Mia and I'm sure she wants to see the girl who Christian finally brings home."

"How do you know I've told her about Anastasia?" I asked.

"You tell that girl everything." She laughed.

Well, if Mom was still laughing when she mentioned Macy, she wasn't mad, and was still allowing me to be around her even if it was just for dinner, she couldn't know about the party. But what if she was only allowing that because she and Dad could keep an eye on us? Maybe I should just stop over analyzing everything. Christian had kept his word to me. My parents didn't know. She had to have another reason to be worried.

"I'll ask her today about dinner." I told my mother as she pulled up in front of the high school, which, to be quite honest, didn't look like a school.

It was an old mansion, and when it was a home, it was the largest in the country. People compared it to the Biltmore. The exterior hadn't changed, but the inside had been completely redone to create a school. The original mansion housed the high school, but two similar buildings had been constructed when the school grew to become the elementary and middle school, and a luxurious fitness center was placed by the athletic fields. It really was an amazing school.

"I'll see you later Darling. Have a great day today, don't get into trouble." Mom smiled as I pushed the car door open.

"I'll do my best. I'll see you later Mom." I smiled.

I grabbed my backpack and my soccer bag from the back of the car and headed inside. I was on my way to my locker when Macy literally ran up to me.

"Oh my God I've been so worried!" She squealed.

"What? Why" I asked her, my smile turning into a frown.

"Well your brother wasn't too happy to see you." She bit her lip. "And then no one could get in touch with you. We could have sworn you were grounded for the rest of your life!"

"You guys tried to get in touch with me?" I asked, my eyebrows scrunching up together.

"We all did! Everyone in the friend group! I must have called and texted you over two dozen times. Everyone did!" She exclaimed.

"I didn't have any missed calls or texts." I sighed.

What the hell?

"Oh, maybe your phone is broken?" She frowned.

"Maybe." I agreed. I knew it wasn't broken though. This was Christian trying to control who I could and couldn't speak to. Somehow he had made it where my friends couldn't contact me. My eyes narrowed at the thought.

"Anyway, are you dead? Grounded for life?" She asked.

"Neither of the above." I smirked.

"You got away with it? Christian was livid!" She gasped, complete shock on her face.

"You remember that night?" I asked.

"Yeah, I didn't get as wasted as you." She spoke softly.

"Well, actually, Christian didn't tell my parents." I told her as we made our way to my locker.

"He didn't?" She asked, clearly shocked by that.

"Nope. He was surprisingly…okay with it." I couldn't think of another way to explain I had chosen the part of an ultimatum that would land me in therapy until Christian deemed me okay to not be in therapy which could be a very long time.

"I give him credit then. I thought he was going to kill you." She told me as I shoved my soccer bag in my locker with my books I wouldn't need until after lunch.

"Anyway, I can't come Friday night. Mia is coming in town early Saturday, so Mom wants me home, but she said you can come over for dinner Sunday. The girl we found with Christian is coming over, and I know adore Mia."

"Could you come for the party Saturday night? We're throwing one Friday and Saturday." She offered.

"Maybe I can convince my parents to let me stay at your place Saturday night after I spend the day with Mia and my brothers?" I offered.

"Yeah, sounds good to me. So, Saturday?" She asked. I nodded.

"Grey!" Rocklin was shocked to see me as well as I walked through the hallway with Macy. "You're alive?"

"Yeah, Christian didn't tell my parents." I told him, leaving it at that.

"He didn't?!" Christian exclaimed.

"Nope." I agreed. "I consider myself lucky."

Or unlucky considering I was now forced to go waste an hour of my time each week in a shrink's office. I wouldn't tell my friends about that. I didn't want them thinking I was crazy like everyone else seemed to.

We were joined by everyone else, all just as shocked about Christian not telling my parents as Rocklin and Macy had been. We only ceased the discussion of how lucky I was when the bell for first period rang. We parted ways, well, most everyone did, but Macy, Rocklin, and I had our first class together. Honors French.

"Alright, everyone in groups of three for today! I'll tell you why in a moment." Madame Roux told us the moment everyone was in their seats, her sentence in perfect French.

Rocklin, Macy, and I quickly put ourselves in a group, pulling our desks into a sort of circle, while everyone else divided as well. As soon as Madame Roux was pleased with the division of the class, she went into a detail explanation of a project we would be working on until the end of school. It would count as our final exam grade.

It was simple really. Probably too easy for a final exam in an honors class, but I wasn't about to complain about that. We had to make a poster about a city of France of our choosing. We immediately claimed Paris, thinking it would most likely be the easiest, and we had Mia to consult for questions.

After French, I moved onto Honors Algebra II with Logan and Calvin. We had a pop quiz first thing, which I was sure I had bombed, and then went over everything that was going to be on our test Thursday. The next two days we would spend reviewing, and then Friday would be our final exam review and last day of class.

Then came Honors Biology, with Scotland, Logan, and Alex. We were finishing up on our fetal pig dissection, our last grade before the final exam next week. A common theme today was our teachers preparing us for the end of the school year.

My fourth class was Honors English, with Macy, Rocklin, Ryleigh, Sammy, Matty, and Scotland. Our poor teacher hated having all of us in her class, but we made good grades, so she couldn't say much. Today, she handed us back our Romeo and Juliet essays, and then jumped into our last unit of the year. Poetry.

I was grateful that my next thing to do was lunch. We all made our way to the dining hall quickly, grabbing our food before claiming our table we ate at every day. This offered more time to discuss what all had gone down at the party.

"I thought you and Luke were going to go off together." Sammy told me.

"Yeah, you were all over him." Scotland informed me.

Great. All over a senior guy. Wonderful for my reputation. People would jump to conclusions, which would most likely be completely wrong.

"You were all over Damon too though. You were completely faded." Ryleigh laughed.

"You even danced with Vanessa." Calvin chimed in.

"Vanessa?" I gasped. As in, the most popular girl in school Vanessa?

"Yeah, it was hot." Alex told me, half joking, but part of his voice was serious. He had always had a crush on Vanessa, and one on me, so I guess us grinding on each other was "hot" for him.

"I was just worried one of you were going to fall off the bar." Rocklin chuckled.

"We were on the bar?" I asked.

"Man, you really don't remember anything, do you?" Calvin asked.

"Apparently not." I sighed.

So my friends jumped in to let me know what all had happened at the party, right up until the point where Christian dragged me out of there. I was mortified. Everyone had probably seen me getting dragged out of the party by my older brother like a little baby. I scowled at the thought. My anger with my brother was rising very quickly.

After lunch, I moved onto Honors World History, and then Chamber Singers which was the chorus class composed of Freshmen and Sophomores, and then finally, my last class of the day. Gym which involved me having to get changed into the gym uniform. Maroon Nike shorts, a navy Nike dri-fit shirt, and maroon Nike running shoes. We ended up playing kickball, and my team won by three points in the end. It put me in a good mood, but didn't serve to diminish my anger with my brother that was still in my mind.

I went to my locker, retrieving my phone and my gym bag before heading to a bathroom to get changed. There, I ran into the female half of my friend group. They were all on my club soccer team. I glanced at my phone as I listened to Ryleigh talking about making out with Ross at the party. He was a senior, Damon's stepbrother, and just as hot. She was so excited I couldn't help but smile as I listened to her chatter.

I checked my phone to find one text message, from my father. It was to let me know his case was running long but that Christian was going to take me to practice instead of his secretary, but that Mom would get me after practice.

Good. That gave me time to confront him about my phone.

"Will you braid my hair?" Ryleigh asked after I had gotten dressed in my practice uniform.

We were required to wear a uniform just like we would for a game, but unlike our royal blue away uniform, and white home uniform, the practice uniform was less fitted, making it more comfortable in my opinion, and consisted of a light blue jersey, black shorts, and light blue socks.

"Yeah, of course." I agreed.

Ryleigh had to sit down due to our height difference, but it only took me a matter of a minute to get her hair braided. I got a text from my dear old brother, letting me know he was in the parking lot, so I said goodbye to my teammates and made my way outside.

It appeared to just be Christian. I knew security was probably somewhere around, but my brother had driven his car, and wasn't being driven. He was out of the car as soon as he saw me, opening my door for me and reaching for my bags.

"Hey Letty, good day at school?" He asked. I let him take my bags, but didn't say a word in response to his question, I just shot a cold, hard glare at him.

He simply closed my door, got my stuff in the trunk, and then got in the driver's seat, glancing at me. I was so mad that the minute I opened my mouth I knew I was going to start yelling, so I kept it shut tightly as he started up the car.

"Is this about Dr. Flynn?" He asked me.

"Actually, no Christian!" I snapped.

"But you're angry with me?" He asked.

"Wow, it's like you're a fucking detective." I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, don't use that kind of language." He scolded me lightly.

"Everyone else does!" I snapped. "You sure as hell do."

"I'm not fourteen." He remained calm. "What is your problem?"

"What's my problem? Really Christian? What the hell is _your_ problem?!" I yelled.

"I'm not following." He admitted.

"Clearly." I murmured.

"So what is it? Why are you so angry?" He asked.

"Oh, let's start with my phone. What the hell did you do to it?" I asked.

" _I_ didn't do anything to it." He told me.

"So what the hell did one of your _people_ do to it?!" I snapped.

"I had them go in and block any numbers of people who I saw at the party." He told me simply.

"Overreaction much!?" I yelled.

"Actually I think it was justified given what you seem to enjoy doing with those people." He told me, his voice still calm.

"UNDO IT!" I yelled.

"Nope." He disagreed.

"You have NO right to…" I began.

"I have every right to!" He snapped right back. "Mom and Dad would have taken your phone and freedom away from you if I had told them. Consider it a compromise."

"A compromise!?" I roared. "YOU CAN'T KEEP ME FROM MY FRIENDS!"

"Friends don't let friends get to that point of drunkenness." He countered.

"Jesus Christ, unblock their fucking numbers!" I yelled. "You can't blackmail me forever!"

"Unblock them so you can continue to scheme to get wasted?" He asked.

"What are you trying to do?!" I yelled. "Are you trying to make me feel isolated? Are you trying to take away some of the things that make me happy?!"

"Give me one good reason I should have them able to contact you." He told me.

"Because they're the only friends I have, and because Macy is coming over Friday night so I need to be able to contact her. Maybe because regardless of if you block them in my phone, I will still see them at school and it's just awkward to have them asking why I didn't respond to text messages that I didn't even get? Please Christian." I used the tone that always got my way with him, the desperate one. He couldn't resist.

"Fine." He spoke after a few moments of pure silence.

Well that went better than expected. I wasn't going to ask why; I was just going to enjoy the fact he had said yes. I ignored him for the rest of the car ride, not even saying goodbye as I got out at the fields.

"Come on Letty! You're late! Double time, pick it up!" My coach called as soon as he spotted me.

I took off running towards the field, only to be greeted by my teammates. It had been a normal day, relatively so, but it was about to turn into a shitty day, because after practice, I would have to go deal with Christian's damn shrink.


	10. Chapter 10: I Really Hate Therapy

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: I fully intended to wait until Saturday to post this, BUT I have fifty reviews so in honor of FIFTY shades, I decided to post it really early. Plus, I just finished chapter twenty-five, so I'm not close to catching up with myself.

ALSO PLEASE REVIEW! Apparently I only get an influx if I beg and plead for you guys to review, so I'm begging and pleading again

I know. The past few chapters haven't been to climatic and it's only covered like two days in the life of Letty. Hang in there, more drama will follow. I just felt like dragging out the few days after Christian learned a bit about Letty was necessary. During the next chapter, I think it is safe to assume you will get to see some of Mia, and more of Ana and Christian.

Warning: There is brief mention of childhood sexual abuse in this chapter. I tried my best to write it in as little detail as possible because of how sensitive of a subject it is, but it could be disturbing to some. If you want to skip it, stop reading at the two spaced out "…" lines, and resume after the next two "…" spaced out lines.

Chapter 10: I Really Hate Therapy

" _You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written — behind your silence and your suffering."_

― _Anne Rice_

Letty POV

I was in a much better mood after practice. Doing physical things, like soccer, running, kickboxing, it always served to clear my head. My initial anger with my brother had all but diminished by the time I was getting my shin guards off and a pair of running shoes on in place of my cleats. It was drizzling now, nothing uncommon for Seattle, so I also pulled on my rain jacket before making my way to the parking lot.

Mom's car was in the parking lot, but when I opened the trunk to put my things inside, I was a little surprised to see both of my parents in the front. I attempted to calm myself. Coincidence. It didn't mean Christian had said anything to them. They just wanted to speak with Dr. Flynn about me not sleeping or whatever.

"Good practice?" Dad asked as I climbed in the backseat, using a towel Mom had thrown in the back to wipe the grass sticking to me off.

"Yeah, it was easier than usual. We didn't even have to run much." I told him. "It surprised me with a tournament coming up."

"I had forgotten about that." Mom admitted. "It's the weekend after Christian's birthday, in Vancouver, right?"

"Yeah." I agreed. "Dad, I was actually wondering if we could sail there instead of driving."

"I'll have to check my schedule for that Friday to make sure I can have you there in time, but I don't think that would be a problem." He told me with a smile as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Dad knew how much I enjoyed sailing. I had loved it ever since I was a little girl, since my first Father's Day with my family. It had captivated me, the freeing feeling of sailing, and Dad would always take me if I asked and he was able to. I could usually even con Christian into taking me out on his boat on weekends. I was just happiest sailing.

"And school?" Mom asked. "Did you have a good day?"

"Busy." I admitted. "With final exams next week, they were either cramming information into our already full brains or assigning projects."

"Any interesting projects?" Dad asked.

"Well, we really only have a French one. A poster, over Paris. Rocklin, Macy, and I got in a group together and may need to enlist in Mia's help." I shrugged.

"Oh a project over Paris, your sister will be thrilled to assist you." Mom smiled. She was so excited to see Mia. I was too, but Mom was just thrilled to have all four of her kids in the same city once more.

"Yeah, we jumped on Paris once Madame Roux announced to pick a city." I agreed.

"Did you ask Macy about Sunday?" Mom continued.

"Yeah. She has to ask her parents, but she doesn't see a problem with it." I lied. Her parents weren't in town. She didn't have to even mention it to them.

The remainder of the drive to Dr. Flynn's office was relatively quiet, just a little bit of small talk here and there. As we pulled into a spot in the parking garage, nerves hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't know why I was nervous, it wasn't like I was going to comply with him. Maybe it was because I knew Christian had most likely spoken with Dr. Flynn about why I was going to see him, and the idea another person who was friends with my parents knew unsettled me, even if he could legally be in trouble if he spoke with them about it without my consent.

"Letty?" Dad asked.

I snapped back into reality. He and Mom were already outside of the car, and Dad was holding my door open. I had a feeling we had been in this position for at least a minute or two because Mom had a very small look of concern on her face, but I shook it off and got out of the car.

"Are you alright Darling?" Mom asked as we began walking through the parking garage in the general direction of the elevator.

"Yeah, I was just thinking. Sorry." I lied.

We took the elevator up to the office I had spent a few appointments in a few years back. Six months' worth to be exact. During that time, I had done what I planned on doing this time. I had remained silent. Eventually, Dr. Flynn accepted this. He would even let me bring my homework up and would just watch as I did it. He wouldn't give up on trying to get me to give him any sort of information, but he would let me be productive with the time I had with him.

I think I baffled him. If he was ever at our home, either just for dinner due to his friendship with my parents, or if it was for an event, I would speak with him, and his wife. I had no personal problem with him, it was just therapy.

"Grace, Carrick." Dr. Flynn greeted my parents, shaking my father's hand and kissing both of my mother's cheeks. "It's good to see you here Letty." He looked to me.

"John." My father smiled.

"Letty, your parents wanted to speak with me before your appointment. Is that alright with you?" He asked.

For a moment, I contemplated saying "No", but that would make my parents suspicious, so I simply shrugged and took a seat in the lobby while my parents followed him back to his office.

They weren't in there long, maybe ten or fifteen minutes at most, but they were in good spirits when they returned with Dr. Flynn. They couldn't have spoken with him about anything too heavy if they were laughing with him when they returned.

"Ready?" Dr. Flynn asked me.

"Yeah, I guess." I agreed, glancing to my parents who took a seat on one of the sofas in the waiting room together. "You're staying?" I asked them.

"Seeing as your father doesn't want to go to the mall with me, yes." Mom told me, sending a playful glare to my father.

"I just would rather not have to replace my whole wardrobe." Dad chuckled. "We'll be right here after your appointment."

I nodded and followed Dr. Flynn to his office, sitting down on one of the couches the minute I was in the room, propping my feet up as Dr. Flynn took his seat and crossed his ankle over his thigh, notepad in hand.

"Your brother told me why he believes you should come and see me, but I would like to know why you think you should be here." He told me.

A big piece of me wanted to remain silent, but another part of me wanted to know just how much Christian had told him. I settled on the latter of the two. "What all did my dear big brother tell you?" I asked him.

"He told me the state he found you in on Saturday night. He told me of the discussion you two had Sunday afternoon." Dr. Flynn explained.

"Did he tell you about the ultimatum he gave me?" I asked, doubting he had.

"No, I cannot say he did." Dr. Flynn told me as he cracked his knuckles.

"Basically, he told me that I either agreed to come and see you, or he told my parents about Saturday night." I told him. "So I'm here because Christian is forcing me to be here."

"He's not necessarily forcing you to be here." Dr. Flynn pointed out.

"Yeah, well, my other option of the ultimatum was to have to start out summer grounded for life and not be allowed to see my friends again, so he kind of is." I disagreed, my tone a mixture of sarcasm and anger.

"If you do not wish for your parents to know of your activities, surely you must believe there may be a problem with those activities." He pointed out.

"To them maybe." I shrugged.

"But you don't see a problem with drinking to the point where you pass out and don't remember anything?" He asked as he wrote something in that note pad. His tone wasn't accusatory, or angry even. It was truly just curious.

I chose not to answer that question. Or any more for that matter. So, the next fifty-five minutes of my appointment was filled with Dr. Flynn asking me questions, and me staring at him, not even offering him a facial expression that could give away a yes, no, shock, sadness, anything. I was like a statue, just sitting there. He sighed at the end of the appointment as he closed his note pad and shook his head a bit.

"I was hoping you would be more conversational than our previous sessions." He told me.

I shrugged. "I have nothing to say."

"I don't believe you." He told me. "I think you have a lot to say. I believe talking about it would help you."

"For the last freaking time, I. Don't. Need. Help." I told him.

"Everyone needs help at some point or another in their life Juliette. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and it's just a matter of realizing it and accepting the help offered in the end. You'll get there eventually, one way or another, but I was hoping you would accept the help earlier than the catastrophic reason most people accept help." He told me.

"Christian said you can't talk to my parents about me." I changed the subject.

"He's right. You have my full confidentiality unless I believe you are going to harm yourself or another person." He pierced his lips. "I hope you realize that just because Christian offered up information about you, now that you are my patient, I cannot discuss you with him either."

That was something. At least he wouldn't be allowed to tell Christian I wasn't cooperating in therapy. Maybe me coming would get Christian off my case. If I could convince Christian that therapy was going well, maybe he would drop things. Leave me alone.

"I think our time here is up." Dr. Flynn told me. "If you choose to not speak in your future appointments like last time, you're welcome to bring homework again."

"I'll keep that in mind." I had to hide a laugh at that. The good therapist knew me well by this point. I would definitely bring my homework in the future if it meant him leaving me alone. I groaned internally at there only being another week of homework though. I could work on summer reading I guess. It would be better than just staring in silence.

"One more thing." Dr. Flynn said as I stood up. "Just a final comment for today. As Anne Rice once said, 'You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written- behind your silence and your suffering.' Think on that for me while you're waiting on our next appointment. Maybe it'll encourage you to speak a bit more."

Fat chance of that one Dr. Flynn. I kept those words to myself instead of saying them to him, out of politeness. I followed him silently back to the waiting room where Dr. Flynn shook hands with my father, and kissed my mother goodbye before bidding me farewell. As soon as I got in the car, Mom glanced to me.

"How did it go?" She asked.

"Mom." I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it. Didn't you say so yourself, talking to a person further away from the situation can be beneficial or something? Wouldn't talking about therapy ruin the whole purpose of that?"

"Okay, you don't have to tell us how it went." She sighed, I knew she had been hoping I would talk to her. Maybe I would offer up some small piece of "it went well" or something at dinner to pacify her.

My parents left me alone after that, driving with just the sound of the radio to fill the silence. Once home, I ran upstairs to shower. I hated eating dinner right after practice if I hadn't showered yet, so I was quick to get clean and in a new set of clothes before heading downstairs where Gretchen had already put food on the dining room table. Mom and Dad were waiting for me, both in some sort of deep conversation.

Again, I was paranoid that they knew more than they were letting on, but hearing Dad mention the jury calmed me some. Maybe they were truly speaking about their days at work.

"Feel better?" Dad asked as I joined them.

"Much." I agreed.

Dad blessed the food and we began eating. It was one of my favorite meals. Fresh lobster bisque, sautéed vegetables, pita bread, and salads to go with it. Suspicion came again. Mom and Dad could have asked for this to be served, hoping I would be buttered up and share more with them than I usually did. I shook my head though, Gretchen knew this was one of my personal favorites as well, so maybe she had prepared it just because of that.

"Therapy went well today." I told my mother and father as we ate.

They looked up a little confused by this. They hadn't expected an answer.

"You all wanted to know in the car. I wasn't in the best of moods right afterwards, but it went well." I shrugged, the lie coming off so easily.

"You've not been in the best of moods today." Mom agreed.

"Didn't sleep well." I told her.

"Bad dream?" Dad asked.

I nodded as I dipped some of the bread in the soup, popping it in my mouth before commenting. "I'm fine though." I assured him.

"You know you can wake us when you wake up to those." Mom offered gently.

"I was fine after a minute. It just disrupted my sleep more than anything." I lied. I wouldn't call lying awake with tears in my eyes for hours "fine", but Mom and Dad didn't need to know I was up half the night crying. I rarely cried in front of people, even my parents. "How was work today?"

"Long." Dad chuckled.

"Did you win your case?" I asked.

"With flying colors." He agreed.

"What about you, Mom? Any funny stories from the hospital?" I asked.

"Not funny per say. I did have to remove a marble from a toddler's nose that his twin brother had forced up it." She smiled a bit. "I'm glad the only two we had close together in age like that were the boys and thankfully, we never had a marble up a nose. Though Elliot did swallow a penny once."

"He did?" I asked. I hadn't heard about that before.

"Scared your poor father to death." Mom laughed.

"I did my best to hide it from your mother. I took him to a different hospital than the one she worked at, only for one of your mother's friends to be the physician working in their emergency room. Long story short, your mother was not pleased when she got a phone call saying that her husband and son were in the ER." Dad told me.

"He didn't need to take him to the hospital." Mom shook her head with a smile on her lips. "As long as the child actually swallows the coin and it goes down their throat, there's nothing they do but wait for it to pass."

"I'm sure Elliot got some sort of toy for that visit." I added, knowing we got little gifts anytime we had to go to the doctor. Heck, I still did with how difficult I was about going to see my pediatrician.

"A new set of blocks if I remember correctly." Dad chuckled.

"Remember the time you tried to hide the fact I got stitches from Mom?" I asked.

" _Daddy look I can fly!" I called as I jumped from couch to couch in the family room._

 _I was only seven at this point, Mia was fourteen and had Dad helping her with her history homework. She always hated history, but Dad loved it. He was glad to help._

" _Yes you can Princess." He agreed, not even telling me to stop._

 _On the next jump, I missed. My head smacked right on the corner of the coffee table and blood went everywhere. Literally, so much blood poured from the cut._

"Even if I hadn't found you all in the ER after a page from my resident, the blood on the carpet would have given him away. As would the big bruise and stitches on your little head." Mom glared at Dad, apparently not finding that much humor in the situation yet, even seven years later. Mama Bear was still mad about that one.

" _Mommy, Daddy made me get a shot." I cried as my mommy entered the room._

" _Princess, I didn't want for you to have to get a shot." Daddy sighed as he tried again to give me a hug, but I scooted away from him. I was mad._

"You were so angry with me. I thought you'd never forgive me for that shot you had to get." Dad laughed. "And I thought your mother would never forgive me for you having stitches in your head right before we were set to take pictures for the Christmas Card."

"Do we still have a copy of that one?" I asked with a laugh.

"Somewhere I'm sure. I wouldn't have gotten rid of all of the copies of that one." Mom smiled.

The conversation at the table stayed light for the remainder of dinner. Therapy wasn't brought up again, and Mom and Dad were talking about the dinner menu for Sunday night, excited that Macy was going to join us, and even offered to have Rocklin as well. I assured them I would ask him after dinner.

Gretchen gathered our dishes after we ate, but Mom jumped to help her like she always did. While those two did the dishes, and were laughing about something, I was left alone with Dad as he finished up his glass of wine.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, fine." I agreed.

"I mean I understand you're having nightmares, but you've seemed off ever since you got home Sunday evening. I was just wondering if something else was going on." He told me softly.

Dad, like Mom, could always tell when something was wrong, or off, with any of his children. What could I really say though? 'Sorry Dad, Christian and I had a fight over my behavior.' would lead to him questioning me further, or my brother. I couldn't have either of those two things happen.

"Yeah, I think school just started stressing me out with knowing this week is going to be tough only to lead up to final exams." I lied through my teeth, Dad giving no expression other than understanding. He had bought it.

"Don't worry Princess, I'm sure you'll do fine. You've never struggled with school." He smiled.

He was so proud of me. I had taken honors classes since they were offered, beginning in middle school. I was two years ahead of those not on the fast track in math, and set to take several AP courses as a sophomore next year. I had never made less than an A in a class, and Dad loved when we succeeded in our education.

"Speaking of school, I've got to start studying for my algebra test. It's on Thursday, but I need to review all of the chapters it's over." I told him.

"Go ahead." He smiled.

I left the table and headed up to my room. I checked my phone, pleased with the messages from my friends. Christian had actually gotten them unblocked for me.

I quickly responded to all twenty-seven messages from my friends, averaging about three from each of them, before getting out my homework. After getting everything done that was due tomorrow, I read through my algebra book, only half-focused as I discussed the tickets that Rocklin had his father by for all of us to go see _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_ when it released at midnight on June 15th, just eight days before my birthday. They had just started selling tickets today at the theater and Rocklin had begged his Dad to go get enough for all of us as well as the adults unlucky enough to have to drive us.

I knew that would probably actually end up being Liam and Sammy's older sister, Sarah. I would make Mom and Dad take me to see it again after my initial excitement wore down. I always went to see the movies again in theaters, as many times as I could convince my parents or siblings to take me to see it.

I heard a knock on my door, and called for whichever one of my parents to come in. Mom smiled when she saw me seemingly invested in my algebra book. If only she knew I hadn't actually accomplished much studying.

"You're taking your final exams pretty seriously." She told me, probably assuming I was studying over a week in advance for the algebra one. I had to force myself not to laugh.

"We have a test Thursday." I told her.

"I just came up to say goodnight." She told me. "Are you heading to bed soon?"

"Yeah, as soon as I finish up this chapter." I glanced at the last two pages I had to read over in the chapter I had sort of studied.

"Alright Darling." She smiled as she hugged me and kissed the top of my head. "Remember, if you need us, wake us. We really don't mind."

"I know you don't." I assured her.

"Sleep well my angel." She told me with one last kiss to my forehead.

I smiled after Mom left. I would always be the baby. Especially when it came to Mom. I think part of it was due to my size. She was so protective of me with me being so little, but I could defend myself very well. She knew that deep down, but I was still so small in her eyes, and needed protection. It's how they all felt. Mom, Dad, Christian, Elliot, even Mia. Mom was probably the worst about being slightly overprotective, but Christian wasn't much better, or Dad and for that matter. Mia was the only one who treated me like a teenager who was a kick-ass kickboxer. I think the main reason I was the baby to my mother was that I was her last one at home. Everyone else was more grown up now. They drove, Christian and Elliot worked, they didn't necessarily _need_ my parents, whereas I did.

After I was in pajamas and in bed, I reflected on the day's events. It had been like any other day, routine wise, aside from my appointment with Dr. Flynn. I really hate therapy. It isn't him personally, it's just the whole idea of it. I would do my best to get Christian to believe I was healing if it meant getting back to my normal life where I wasn't analyzed by a professional. Maybe, just maybe, Christian would deem me okay to stop going to therapy if he thought I was fine.

I closed my eyes, silently sending up a prayer to a God I wasn't sure I believed in that I would sleep through the night for once. After I finished that silent little prayer, I figured what the hell, and turned off my bedside lamp to head to sleep.

…

…

" _You're such a good little cunt." Man told me as he kissed me._

 _He had never kissed me before. The only time he had touched me was if he was hurting me. His breath tasted bad. Really bad. It tasted like his cigarettes and the stuff he drank that made him mad smell. He was happier than usual though._

" _I'm going to try something Julie, and I want you to do as I say. If you're good, I'll even let you eat some of the pizza I brought the slut." His voice was kind? Man wasn't kind usually._

 _I nodded eagerly. I was so hungry. I would do what he wanted if I could only eat. Even a bite of what Woman was eating would be worth doing what he told me._

" _Stay still Julie." He told me as he took my shirt off._

 _For a moment, I froze. He was going to hit me again. He didn't stop there though. Next it was my pants and panties. Maybe I was getting a bath?_

" _Don't scream. Don't speak. We don't want the slut to come in here." He whispered._

 _Man began removing his shirt, then his pants, and finally his underwear. Why was Man naked?_

" _This is going to feel good Julie." He promised me._

 _He put his hands all over my private parts, as Woman called them, but it didn't feel good. It hurt. I cried, and tried to make him stop, but he covered my mouth._

" _I said be quiet. Don't you want to eat? Don't you want to make me feel good?" He snarled in a quiet voice._

 _I nodded through tears so he moved his hand off my mouth._

" _That mouth is going to be far more valuable in other ways. It can make a man feel really good." He whispered._

…

…

Apparently that God I had hoped would listen, the same one Mom and Dad prayed to before we ate, and the same one we worshiped on Christmas and Easter at mass, didn't exist because I woke up screaming again, and woke Mom and Dad in the process.

Again, I declined to speak with either of them about my dream. It was one I hated more than the rest, one I didn't have very often. One I had never discussed with anyone. Mom stayed with me again, Dad refusing to leave as well, until I finally fell back asleep around 3:30.


	11. Chapter 11: Wine Drunk

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

Okay, okay, I lied. Mia will be in chapter twelve, not this one. This wound up being longer than I expected, but don't fear, all of our favorite characters will reappear in chapter twelve.

Also, please note this was posted on Friday, so don't freak when I don't update tomorrow. It has been one HELL of a week (i.e; being questioned by police and having five meetings with the dean (one MTWThF) because my roommate is psychotic). I feel like this week has lasted for about two and a half years but it's Friday now, and I only have one class on Saturdays (sigh), so let's hope nothing catastrophic happens anytime soon.

Thank you guys for all your reviews! It means a lot!

Chapter 11: Wine Drunk

" _People, I have discovered, are layers and layers of secrets. You believe you know them, that you understand them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them, but sometimes you decide to trust them."_

― _Veronica Roth, Insurgent_

Letty POV

The week sort of dragged on. I took quizzes and tests, I had two kickboxing training sessions, and another soccer practice, and on Friday, Macy and I walked to the parking lot where Dad was waiting for us in his car. The only unordinary thing about this week was how paranoid I was about Mom and Dad potentially knowing something more had happened Saturday night. I would watch how they were towards Macy carefully. If they were completely normal, I would know it meant they really didn't know.

"Hey girls." Dad greeted us.

"Hey Dad." I smiled.

"Mr. Grey." Macy greeted.

"Macy, I have told you a billion times by now, call me Carrick." My father chuckled.

"Carrick." Macy corrected herself with a smile.

Dad was treating her normally, as always. He also seemed to be in a really good mood today, just by his tone of voice. He must have settled in court this morning. He had a big law suit he was working on.

"How was school today?" He asked as he began driving.

Macy and I jumped into a description of the day, laughing as we told him about the fight that had broken out at lunch. Luke and Damon, the two boys I had danced with (a fact we left out to my father) had literally brawled over Vanessa. It had taken multiple teachers and coaches to pull them apart. Dad would probably hear about it at his next board meeting, depending on what the principal decided to do discipline wise. If an expulsion or any serous disciplinary action was in question, it was brought to the board.

Dad shook his head as we finished the story. "Boys just need to learn to think before they act."

"See Letty, this is why I like your Dad better than mine." Macy joked. "Dad would have been encouraging a brawl over a pretty girl."

"Dad doesn't like for disagreements to be solved with violence." I laughed. Especially not given Christian's past, and how many fights he had been in during his school years. I would leave that out of the conversation for now though. No need to diminish Dad's good mood, even slightly.

When we got home, Gretchen already gone seeing as Mom had her coming tomorrow for dinner, giving her today off, and Mom still at work, Macy and I quickly went up to my room to put her things down and get out of our school clothes.

"We could go hit the courts." I told my friend as I pulled on a sweatshirt. Macy and I always loved playing tennis together. Our competitive side always came out. "Or we could take some shots. Dad got the goal fixed last week."

My soccer goal, a regulation sized one, had been damaged in a particularly bad storm a few weeks back, but it was up now.

"Let's go play tennis." Macy told me.

This required her to switch from the clothes she was originally putting on to a pair of leggings and a hoodie. She complimented a pair of my new Nike leggings and then we made our way downstairs, heading outside. We were stopped by Dad before we left the house.

"What do you two want for dinner tonight?" Dad asked us.

"Macy?" I asked my friend, not really caring what we ate tonight.

"Oh, uhhh, I don't know." She shrugged.

"Mom's cooking." I told her. "Mac and cheese?"

"Music to my ears." She laughed. My friends were all just as obsessed with my mother's famous macaroni and cheese as I was.

"Anything with it?" Dad asked me.

"Whatever Mom feels like." I told him.

"I'll call her and let her know. She should be home soon. Dinner at 7:30 okay?" He asked.

"Sounds great." I told him.

"Works for me." Macy nodded.

Now, we really headed outside, and past the pool house where the tennis court was located. I grabbed two racquets from the small shed as well as some balls and tossed a racquet to Macy. "Best of three?" I asked, knowing that with dinner at 7:30, we had plenty of time for at least two matches, three if one of us one each of the first two.

"You're going down Grey." She laughed.

"We'll see." I laughed right back.

Macy and I were chatting as we played. It was a little difficult to do this, because you had to quite literally yell for the other person to hear you, but we had mastered holding conversations on the tennis court after being friends for so long.

"So Luke and Damon?" She asked.

"What about them?" I asked right back as I served the ball to her.

"Well, given last Saturday, you couldn't have been happy they brawled over another girl." She shrugged as she hit the ball out of bounds.

"15-Love!" I called before serving again. "They mean nothing to me." I assured her.

She snorted a laugh. "Yeah right. Two gorgeous senior boys have their eyes on you and you don't care?"

"Two boys that leave for college at the end of the summer?" I reminded her. "Nope, not getting involved. Plus, my parents would kill me if I got in a relationship with either of them."

"So who do you have your eyes set on then?" She called as she scored on me.

"15-15!" I called as I served again. "I don't know to be honest. None of our friends, that's for sure."

"Alex would be disappointed to hear that." She laughed.

"What about you? Any guys caught your eye?" I turned her into the subject instead of myself.

"I really want Ross to pay attention to me." She admitted. "But I'm forbidden fruit to him. He and Liam are best friends."

"Why get into a relationship before he leaves for school?" I asked, genuinely curious. Surely she wouldn't think after he left for college he would still date a high school girl.

"I didn't say I wanted a relationship." She added as I scored on her.

"30-15!" I called, serving another one to her. "You're not saying you want a hook-up, are you?"

"I mean, I wouldn't complain." She laughed.

"You want to lose your virginity to a one-night stand?" I asked.

"Oh, don't you tell me you haven't considered it after tequila." She told me.

"Considered it after some tequila is one thing. Still considering it sober is another." I added as I scored again. "40-15!" Another serve.

"Hey, don't judge. It's not like people our age don't hook up." She defended herself. "I mean Sammy for God's sake. What's she on now? Guy number five this year alone?"

"Yeah but Sammy also gets her heart broken every other week." I added, scoring the winning points of the first game.

It was Macy's turn to serve this time. "Love all!" She called, hitting the ball to me. "But she said having sex feels amazing."

I froze for a split second, allowing her to score as a faint voice in the back of my head resonated. _It didn't when you were little._

I shook the thought, gaining my focus. "You're distracted today Grey. That was an easy point." Macy laughed, seemingly un-phased by my little momentary freeze. I shook it off. "15-Love."

I hit the ball back to her before speaking again. "I just think there's more to sex than pleasure." I added.

That was part of why I had no plans of having sex anytime soon. I thought sex should be about love, not about the pleasure you get from it. if sex isn't about love, then can you really feel the pleasure part? That with the memories even messing around had brought before had me waiting until I found someone who loved me to have sex. No meaningless hook-ups for me.

 _It was in January, one of the first parties since Christmas break. We were all frozen, but wore our short dresses anyway, no pants to offer some warmth. I was very tipsy, mostly on tequila, and found myself in a bedroom with a sophomore, Vince._

" _You're so hot Baby." He smiled as he kissed me again, more sensual than he had in front of the others._

 _His hands found my breasts, and I giggled, grinding against him as I kissed right back._

 _My dress was off with that simple giggle and he was staring at my chest. Panic soared through me. He saw the scars, I know he saw the scars. But he didn't seem to care. He just reached for my panties, smiling as his thumbs began pulling them down._

 _The minute his hand cupped me, the panic really sat in. My heart was racing, I had to get out of here. Tears began rolling down my cheeks._

" _Stop!" I snapped as memories of the same thing happening with Man when I was a little girl hit me like a ton of bricks._

 _He moved his hand and looked up at me. "What's wrong?" He asked._

" _Just…just stop." I told him._

" _You're such a fucking tease!" He snapped before getting up and leaving, not another word._

 _I scrambled to get my dress back on, sitting on the floor as I cried._

"You really are distracted today." Macy sighed as she scored again. "Is something bothering you?"

Dr. Flynn's words, his little quote, echoed in the back of my mind for a minute. _You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written- behind your silence and your suffering_. Could I talk to Macy? Tell her about Vince? She was my best girl-friend. She had told me the first time she messed around with a guy. Maybe I should tell her. But then I would have to tell her why I panicked. Did I trust her enough to tell her what happened when I was younger? Not even my parents knew the details of that.

"Just nervous about exams coming up." I lied.

"You'll do fine." She laughed as she hit the ball back to me. "You always do."

Mom came to greet us after she arrived home, hugging my best friend, confirming that she and Dad definitely didn't have any anger towards Macy, and probably didn't know what had happened a week ago.

In the end, Macy actually beat me, for the first time ever, winning in the third match. We quickly both got showered and cleaned up for dinner, getting to the dining room right at 7:30. Mom had made macaroni and cheese as well as broccoli and had some fruit salad.

We got started on dinner. At first, when I brought new friends home for dinner, they were always nervous eating with my parents. I guess they could be a little intimidating, even to kids raised in the same social class I was, but people always warmed up to them quickly. Macy and Rocklin especially were right at home at dinners.

"Elena is coming for dinner. She should be here any minute and then we'll get started." Mom told us as we took seats.

"Mrs. Lincoln is coming?" Macy asked.

I internally cringed. I had never been a fan of Elena Lincoln. Everyone else in my family, and my friends that had met her, like Macy, seemed to adore her, even Christian, but she rubbed me the wrong way. I only spent time with her when I had to, but hid my dislike for her well in front of my parents.

"She is." My mother smiled at Macy's excitement.

And so the bitch arrived, in all her little happy, prim, and proper, snobby glory. I pretended to be happy to see her as she embraced me lightly, and apologizing to my parents for her tardiness. Apparently, she got held up at one of her salons.

It was actually kind of funny to think about Elena eating something like macaroni and cheese. Never did I think I would see the day that happened, but I managed to get to witness it. I'm not sure if Elena liked the food or not, but she ate it without complaint as she spoke to my parents.

Eventually, she and Macy were talking about how much Macy wanted to dye her hair, but Macy's mother wouldn't let her because she thought the red would look fake. I shook my head a bit; how could her parents be so relaxed about some things, and so strict on something like hair color. They were fine with leaving their kids alone for weeks, but when it came to Macy dying her hair strawberry blonde, it was like the end of the world.

"Well, why do you want to dye your hair?" I tuned back into the conversation as Elena was asking Macy that question.

I had to hide a snort of a laugh. It was most likely because Ross was into redheads.

"I don't know. Just ready for a change I suppose." Macy shrugged.

I burst out laughing, unable to hold it in, and got a glare from my best friend, and a confused look from the adults at the table. "Sorry." I got out through giggles.

"What on Earth is so funny?" Dad asked me.

I responded by laughing more and shaking my head, unable to get words out of my mouth. "It's nothing. I'm just odd is all."

"She's got that right." Macy joked as she shook her head at me.

"Well personally, I think you would look beautiful with whatever hair color you choose." Elena told Macy. "However, you should obey your mother. If she does agree, ask Letty here to bring you to the salon that does her hair. They're very good at making dyed hair look natural."

"Maybe if you ask my mom, she would agree." Macy told me.

"Probably so." I nodded.

"Why would you asking make a difference?" Mom asked.

"Look at it this way, if I asked you if I could go get a piercing or something, you would say something along the lines of 'not over my dead body', but if Macy asked you if I could go get a piercing we would 'talk about it'. Moms are always more reasonable with friends around." I shrugged as I ate another bite of broccoli.

Mom laughed a little. "When have I ever agreed to something because one of your friends asked and I didn't?"

"Two words: cartilage piercing." I smiled.

" _Mom, please!" My seventh-grade self begged._

" _No." She shook her head._

" _But Mom, I really want it. Everyone has one." I sighed._

" _If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?" She asked._

" _We were going to get them together though!" I exclaimed, looking to my best friend._

" _Yeah, I'm way to scared of needles to get one without someone else." Macy nodded her head in agreement._

" _We'll talk about it." Mom sighed._

And we did talk about it, and I did get my cartilage pierced. Only to have it get infected in a month and Mom had to remove it and get one of her coworkers to prescribe antibiotics. But that was beside the point.

"That was a disaster." Mom laughed, probably thinking of the piercing itself, and Macy having to be held down to get hers done. I think I was pale going into mine, but I did it so Macy wouldn't be the only one.

"Poor thing, I think I remember that." Elena added. "I have this memory of a little one crying on the sofa at your beach house, Carrick holding her down, as you got that earring out."

"Still hurts to think about." I rubbed my upper ear.

"I still don't understand why mine was fine. Not to complain about it being fine, but we had the same person do ours." Macy told me as she moved her hair to show off the little golden ball she always had in it.

This put Mom into medical mode, talking about different types of skin, different ways things are cared for, and so-on. I stopped listening a few sentences in. I wanted to go into medicine one day, or at least I do right now, but there was only so much I wanted to know about the way piercings could become infected.

After dinner, Macy and I were forced to endure having company, and continuing a discussion with Elena as she drank another glass of wine, my parents drinking with her.

"Oh, you should let the girls have a glass Grace." Elena told my mother. "They are growing up after all. Macy, you're fifteen now?"

"I am." Macy agreed.

"And Letty will be fifteen soon. It's only a matter of time." Elena smiled.

"Do you two want a glass of wine?" Mom asked, shocking me a little. Even at social events, I hadn't been allowed to drink a glass of wine or champagne.

Macy and I looked at each other and I shrugged. "Yes." I agreed.

"Your parents won't be angry with us over this, will they?" Dad asked Macy as he got up.

"No sir, they don't mind a glass of wine here and there when we're home." Macy promised him.

Dad left, returning shortly with two glasses filled about half as much as they were for the adults in the room with red wine. If only it were full of something harder instead.

I think my parents, and Elena for that matter, were shocked by how quickly we drank the wine. In hindsight, we probably should have drunk a lot slower seeing as this was supposedly an occasional thing for Macy, and a first for me, but the wine was like drinking juice compared to the harder stuff we usually indulged in. I could barely taste the alcohol.

"Eager girls." Elena chuckled. "You may have a few more wine fans on your hands in a few years."

After Elena left, Macy and I excused ourselves to go upstairs. We wanted to get ready for bed and to watch some movies. Once we were in pajamas, we sat on my bed, the TV playing _Twilight_ , but we were more focused on painting each other's nails.

"I like Mrs. Lincoln." Macy offered nonchalantly.

"Yeah, I can tell." I told her.

"You don't?" She asked, her eyebrows scrunching up. "You always seem to get along with her at events and you seemed to tonight."

"Getting along with someone for the sake of my parents' happiness is different than liking someone." I shrugged.

"At least we got wine." She added.

"Yes, at least we got wine." I laughed.

"Girls!" Mom knocked.

"Come in!" I called.

"Just poking my head in to say goodnight." She told us with a smile. "You two don't stay up too late. We're headed for the airport at 5:30."

"We won't." I assured her. "Night Mom!"

"Night Grace." Macy smiled.

Mom left and Macy looked at me, a sort of devious look on her face. "You know, you guys have a fully stocked cellar."

"And?" I asked.

"Well, surely your parents wouldn't notice one missing bottle." She added.

I thought about this. Dad and Mom always, and I mean _always_ asked for whatever they were drinking specifically by name to Gretchen or to whoever was fetching it from the cellar. Would they notice if something was missing? They probably had several bottles of their favorites, fewer of the ones for special occasions.

"Let me think about it for a second." I told her.

Could you get drunk off of fancy stuff like wine and champagne? Dad kept the harder stuff, the bourbon, rye, tequila, vodka, brandy, and such locked away in the liquor cabinet in his office. It was habit after having Elliot and Christian in the house as teenagers. I knew he would realize that stuff was missing, so we would have to go for wine or champagne. How much of that stuff did you have to drink to get wasted though?

"Okay, we are safe on wine and champagne and stuff in the cellar as long as we have several bottles of whatever it is, but we can't drink anything harder. That's locked away in Dad's study." I finally told her. "How much wine and champagne does it take to get wasted?"

"I guess we'll find out." She laughed.

"If my parents are up and ask where we're going, we are moving movie night to the theater." I told her as I grabbed a various assortment of movies from my movie shelf.

"Do your parents keep soda in the house?" Macy asked.

No one really drank soda in my family. Most of my friends didn't either, so Macy wouldn't know if we had it or not. "Club soda I think. Dad uses it to mix something. Why?"

"If you mix alcohol and soda it gets into your bloodstream quicker. I would assume wine or champagne, while it may not taste good with club soda, would get us drunker quicker and easier." She explained.

"It's probably in the garage. We can grab it on our way down." I told her.

We got a few bottles of the club soda, and headed to the cellar, not crossing paths with either of my parents on the way. I tried to think of the kinds of wine and champagne my parents had a lot with dinner. Those were our safest bet to not be caught.

"Pouilly Fumé is probably our best bet." I told her. "That or Pinot Grigio. Bollinger Grande Année Rosé or Prosecco if you are thinking more along champagne instead of wine." I had fetched my fair share of bottles of all four of those. I knew we kept them stocked.

"Let's do Pinot Grigio?" She asked.

"Good with me." I agreed.

I grabbed a bottle, and some cups from the bar that was seldom used in the basement. It was used more when Dad was younger, before I was adopted according to Elliot. Usually when he had people from the firm over. These red solo cups could be a decade old for all I knew, but I didn't really care.

"Cheers." She laughed after pouring us each a drink.

"Cheers." I clicked cups with her.

The first cup, we drank a little slowly. The club soda really did ruin the taste of the wine. So the second cup we chugged. Before I knew it, the bottle was empty, but we were still just barely drunk. So we moved onto a bottle of champagne. I didn't check the name beforehand, a little too tipsy to care, so after the bottle was gone, we were probably more drunk than tipsy. One more bottle split between the two of us had as wasted, but I was sober enough to clean up, and dispose of the bottles where they were always disposed, and drag us upstairs.

"Well Grey, at least we got to get drunk one way or another tonight." Macy slurred.

"Night Mace." I giggled as I rolled over to go to sleep.

Maybe I wouldn't dream tonight. Maybe I was drunk enough to not remember if I did dream. One could only hope.

…

…

" _I'm sorry." My three-year-old self cried._

" _Crying is going to get you hurt worse!" Woman snapped as she slapped me across the face, and put a match to my arm, making me sob. "I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!"_

" _Is she being difficult?" Man snarled._

" _Isn't she always?" Woman asked._

" _I'll handle her from here." Man told Woman._

 _Woman left. It was just me and Man. I hoped he wouldn't make me help him feel good again. It hurt so bad. Man kicked me in the ribs, hard._

" _You're going to get what's coming to you!" He snarled._

…

…

"Hey!" Macy's voice was desperate now. "Wake up!"

"Sorry." I mumbled as I sat up.

"I thought I was going to have to get your parents! You were shaking and thrashing. I didn't know what to do." She sighed. "What's wrong? What was your dream about?"

 _You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written- behind your silence and your suffering._

That little voice in my head sounded again. My subconscious wanted me to talk to her. Or maybe the leftover alcohol did. Either way, I shook my head at the thought. I couldn't tell her about that. Not ever.

"I don't remember." I lied.

"It's already 4:45." She told me. "Your parents want to leave in 45 minutes so we should get showered. We smell like champagne."

I nodded in agreement. Macy got showered first, followed by me. I chose my outfit more carefully this time, my headache too bad to have Mia's scolding of my clothing choice worsen it. It wasn't much. A flowy long sleeve blue shirt and white ripped jeans, but the matching blue sandals would make the outfit pass Mia's fashion test, or at least keep her from complaining.

So the hangover from being wine drunk wasn't nearly as bad as a normal one. That was good for future nights when I needed to relax. But apparently being wine drunk didn't end the nightmares either. I wonder if I could get my hands on some harder stuff to keep at home. I could surely figure out somewhere to hide a stash where the maids or Mom wouldn't find it.

Once Macy and I were ready to go, Macy in a much more Mia approved dress, we headed downstairs. Mom and Dad were having bagels with cream cheese and salmon. My mouth watered at the sight of them.

After eating a bagel each ourselves, I found myself in the back of Mom's car, seeing as it was the biggest, my best friend and I trying to act normal as the sun hit our eyes, successfully giving us worse headaches than the dull one we had from our wine drunken night.


	12. Chapter 12: A Marvelous Dinner

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: As promised, here's Mia and some more Christian and Ana. I'm honestly not sure if I like how this one turned out, but with my need to move onto the future chapters, I figured, ah, what the hell, and left it as is.

Also, sorry, this is SO late but technically where I am, it is still Saturday. I've been super sick the past week. An ER visit, a clinic visit, and some tests later and thankfully me throwing up blood was not as serious as they initially thought but still not good.

Enjoy. PLEASE REVIEW! If I get like tenish on this chapter, I'll upload chapter 13 before next Saturday!

Chapter 12: A Marvelous Dinner

" _In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit."_

― _Marge Kennedy_

Letty POV

"Mia!" I couldn't help my tone, which more resembled one of Mia's squeals when I caught side of my sister leaving her terminal.

I ran to her, excitement coursing through me. I was hugging my sister as soon as I was in reach, holding her tightly. It had been too long since I had seen my older sister.

"I missed you too Letty." Mia laughed as I released her.

"Sorry, just excited." I told her, the grin never leaving my face.

"Your brothers will be home by the time we get there." Dad told my sister as he embraced her.

"Are the boys bringing their girls this early?" I asked.

"No, they'll just be there to greet Mia and for a bigger breakfast. Christian has plans this afternoon before he and Anastasia come for dinner, and Elliot will go to retrieve Kate at some point." Mom explained as she embraced Mia.

"Wait." Mia halted, breaking the hug she was giving Macy, who she had always considered a little sister. "I thought you were joking about the boys bringing girls over. Did you say Christian is bringing a girl home? A girl named Anastasia?!"

So as we walked through the airport, I told Mia everything I knew about Anastasia, not leaving out the fact that I was pretty sure we had walked in while our brother was getting laid, but that piece of information didn't surface until we were back in the car.

"Wow." Mia said after I finished talking to her about Anastasia.

"That's what I said." Macy laughed.

"I could have sworn he was gay." Mia frowned.

"Disappointed?" I laughed.

"No, not exactly. I just owe Elliot a hundred bucks now." She giggled.

"You bet over your brother's sexuality?" Dad sighed as he drove.

"Okay, but did you honestly think he was straight?" Mia asked, defending herself.

"Yes, I did." Dad told us.

"Which is why I owe your father two hundred dollars." Mom chimed in, making us all erupt in laughter. Apparently, I was the only one who hadn't bet on this.

"Well, I'm not paying up until I see that the girl exists with my own eyes." Mia smiled.

"Oh she does. And she is beautiful." I told her.

"So am I the only one who hasn't met her?" Mia asked.

"Aside from Dad, yeah." I agreed, thinking about Elliot telling me of how he had met Kate, Anastasia's roommate, and then Anastasia, when Christian took her home.

I found myself being tortured by Mia almost the minute we were in the house, well, as soon as she had attacked both my brothers, but she was quick to tell them we would be right back. They settled on helping Dad get her luggage upstairs. Macy looked on with an amused look as Mia made me go try on the multiple outfits she had bought me in Paris, making me stay in a long sleeved royal blue dress that reached my mid-thigh. It was by some French designer I hadn't heard of, according to the label, but I really did like the dress. Even if I found it a little too formal for dinner with my brothers' girlfriends. I had hoped Mia would have at least let me wear my other clothes up until dinner, but I was alright with it.

I was alright with it, up until Mia insisted on doing my hair and makeup, and then Mia's hair and makeup. Once she was happy with how we looked, we headed downstairs.

Elliot cat whistled when he saw me and I smacked his arm. "Quit it."

"Oh Baby Sis, you'll never escape my teasing." Elliot laughed as he lifted me off the ground in a bear hug. "Good to see you again Macy."

"Likewise Elliot." My best friend laughed as Elliot finally put me down.

"You're going to crush her one of these days." Christian shook his head at my brother. "Macy." Christian greeted.

Either Macy was blushing due to her last encounter with my brother, or she had forgotten how to contain her cheeks from lighting up when she saw him. It was probably due to the previous Saturday. She may find Christian attractive, but after seven or so years of friendship, she had known him too long to blush like my other friends did around him.

"Christian." Macy responded.

"So, tell us about Paris." Mom told my sister, excitedly, apparently missing the exchange between Macy and Christian.

Mia rattled off everything she did in Paris. Literally everything. From her cooking classes, to shopping adventures, to everything in-between. After we all had a bigger breakfast, well, more brunch, Christian excused himself to attend to his "plans". This left Elliot to try and sucker out information on Mia's time like did she go to any "wild French parties".

Mia didn't offer up more information, but did offer to drive us to pick up Rocklin upon learning he was coming, and that we needed her help on our project, which I whispered to her we hadn't started on yet.

Mia was ecstatic to have her car back. She had been given a bright yellow Porsche from Christian upon graduating college. She had apparently made a bet with Christian, jokingly over a Porsche, and won. He hadn't gotten her a Porsche at the time, but he did for graduation.

"Mia, your car is amazing." Macy gasped as we got in.

"Right?" Mia giggled. "I can't believe Christian actually got it for me."

"I knew about it for a few weeks before he gave it to you." I laughed.

"You hid it from me!" She scolded.

"Hey now, I only knew because there was a debate over whether Mom and Dad were going to get you your dream car or if he was. He won when we all learned about the bet you guys had made." I held my hands up in surrender.

"So, you guys put off your project until the last minute, huh?" She asked.

"Yeah, we may need to go buy a poster board." I admitted.

"So, what exactly is it?" He asked.

"Basically, a travel brochure on a trifold poster instead of a piece of paper. It's over Paris, so you know, tourist spots, restaurants, hotels, and stuff like that." I explained.

"Well, I can certainly help with that." She agreed.

After Mia helped us finish our project, my two best friends and I chatted excitedly together about the summer vacation coming up, and all the parties that were going to be thrown with the lack of school days. Once it got later, before dinner, Mia took my two friends home, leaving me with just her and my parents for dinner tonight; Elliot and Christian were probably having dinner with their girlfriends.

After dinner, Mia and I stayed up late, chatting. She revealed she _had_ been to some wild French parties, and about a few hot French boys she had gotten to know while she was in Paris. We headed to bed late that night, but we didn't have plans until dinner tomorrow, so I hoped it wouldn't make us too tired.

…

…

Rocklin and Macy were the first to arrive for dinner. Liam dropped them off around 7:00. The three of us sat in the living room, chatting away with my parents until Elliot arrived and introduced us all to his new girlfriend, Katherine Kavanagh, who preferred to be called Kate. I learned she was Ana's roommate, and a Kavanagh. I knew the name well. Her father was big in the media industry. He had founded _Kavanagh Media_ , and her mother was big in fashion, a designer to be exact. Kate was very sociable, no intimidation by my parents, or Mia, who seemed to quickly bond with the girl, whatsoever.

"Which champagne for tonight Sir?" Gretchen asked my father.

"Krug Clos d'Ambonnay for tonight Gretchen. We have three new college graduates in attendance." Dad told her as he turned his attention back to where Elliot and Kate were cuddled on the couch, chatting with Mom and Mia.

"She's hot." Rocklin whispered to me, earning a light smack.

"She's taken. And far too old for you." Macy whispered to him.

"Doesn't mean I can't look." He whispered back.

"Don't 'look' at Anastasia too much. It'll probably piss my brother off." I cautioned, thinking of how much a control freak Christian could be.

I went back to what Dad had told Gretchen to get. Why did that sound familiar to me? It wasn't one they usually drank. Why did that sound so familiar?

"Is she as hot as Kate?" He whispered back.

"She's beautiful, but not the tanned blonde look you like so much." I told him.

"I'll do my best not to admire her too much for the sake of Christian." He assured me.

"Think this one will last?" Macy whispered, glancing to Mia.

That was the question, wasn't it? Elliot, in the words of Christian, had "slept with most of Seattle", but he didn't bring all those women home and the way he looked at Kate, it was different. Very different. Maybe she would last longer than a few months.

"I have hopes she will. He needs to settle down." I shrugged.

"Mr. Grey, I've looked everywhere. The Krug Clos d'Ambonnay isn't in the cellar." Gretchen told my father as she walked into the living room.

"Oh." Dad scrunched up his eyebrows. "We probably served it at an event, I can't recall."

Shit. I knew why it sounded familiar. That's what we had to drink Friday night. Hopefully, Gretchen wouldn't look in the trashcan containing the old empty bottles in the cellar.

"Mia, why don't you go choose one." Dad suggested.

"Of course." She agreed, getting up to leave.

As soon as Mia left, Mom saw the headlights of a car in front of the house and all but ran to go get the door, calling about them being here as she did so. I rolled my eyes a bit. Anastasia certainly had my Mom's approval.

I got up to follow her, pacing myself a little better, right behind my father. Right as we reached the foyer, Mom was leading Christian and Anastasia inside.

"Anastasia, you've met my mother, Grace, and my sister, Letty. This is my dad, Carrick." Christian introduced us.

"Mr. Grey, what a pleasure to meet you." Anastasia spoke to my father, smiling as she shook his hand.

"The pleasure is all mine, Anastasia." Dad smiled right back.

Man, he was smitten on this girl too. That smile was genuine, not forced in the slightest.

"Please, call me Ana." Anastasia—or Ana I guess, corrected him.

"Ana, how lovely to see you again." Mom wrapped Ana in a hug. "Come in, my dear."

Gretchen took Ana's coat from Christian. Ana looked beautiful in the pale pink dress she wore.

"He hasn't driven you insane yet?" I smiled as I embraced Ana quickly as well.

She giggled and shook her head. "Not quite."

Christian glared at me, playfully…I think. He could have been serious with that glare.

"Is she here?" I heard a typical Mia squeal from further in the house.

"That would be Mia, my other little sister." Christian's tone was fake irritation, joking irritation. He adores Mia almost as much as he adores—or maybe adored due to last week—me.

"Anastasia! I've heard so much about you!" Mia wrapped her in a tight hug and I had to hold back a major eye roll. Mia could be a little…much when she first met people.

If Ana was bothered by this, she hid it well with a smile. "Ana, please."

Mia dragged the poor girl in the general direction of the living room. "He's never brought a girl home before!" Mia exclaimed.

"Mia, calm down," Mom admonished my sister softly. "Hello Darling." She finally greeted Christian with a kiss to both cheek, earning a warm smile from my brother before he shook Dad's hand and moved to kiss both of my cheeks again.

Mia is still holding Ana's hand once we reached the living room. Kate and Elliot were still cuddling on the couch, now with champagne flutes, speaking with Rocklin in Macy. Right after Mia let go of Ana's hand, Kate was off the couch, greeting her roommate.

"Hi, Ana!" She beamed, "Christian." A curt, slightly cold nod.

So Kate wasn't a fan of my brother. Interesting.

Ana frowned right as my big bear-like brother gave Ana one of the big bear hugs, Ana seemingly shocked by this. She clearly didn't come from a big family, then again.

"Ana, these are my two best friends, Rocklin North and Macy Sutton. We had a project Mia helped us with today." I introduced my friends, who were on their feet, and offered handshakes to Ana, probably seeing the slight discomfort Elliot's hug had caused her.

"It's lovely to meet you." Macy was in full blown social event mode with two new people in the room.

"Sorry about Elliot. You get used to him eventually." Rocklin told her quietly with a wink, earning my brother's hand messing up his hair.

Christian moved to place his hand on Ana's hip, pulling her a bit closer to him as Dad looked to the happy couple.

"Drinks?" Dad asked, glancing to the champagne in Kate and Elliot's flutes. "Prosecco?"

"Please." Christian and Ana spoke together. Not even a millisecond off.

Mia clapped her hands at this, a wider smile on her lips. "You're even saying the same things. I'll get them." She told us as she left the room.

"Dinner's almost ready." Mom told them as she followed Mia from the room.

"Sit." Christian's voice was a little harsh as he spoke to Ana. I don't know if it was intended, but it shocked me. And it made me mad. How could he be snappy with a person like Ana?

"We were just talking about vacations, Ana." Dad offered kindly. Were we? I hadn't been focused on that conversation obviously. "Elliot has decided to follow Kate and her family to Barbados for a week. Then there's Rocklin heading to Alaska on a cruise for a week at the end of the summer with his cousins, and both girls have a soccer tournament in Vancouver coming up. Not quite a vacation, but a trip nonetheless. Are you taking a break now you've finished your degree?"

"I'm thinking about going to Georgia for a few days." She told my father, Christian literally gaped at her. Apparently he didn't know about this trip.

"Georgia?" I heard him murmur softly.

"My mother lives there, and I haven't seen her for a while." Ana told him calmly.

"When were you thinking of going?" I barely heard his voice this time.

"Tomorrow, late evening." Ana shrugged.

Hey, who was my brother to tell her when she could or couldn't visit her own mother? Their conversation ended when Mia sauntered in the room, champagne flutes filled with the pale pink champagne, which she handed to Ana and Christian.

"To good health!" Dad raised his glass, and I rolled my eyes. Typical doctor's husband right there.

"For how long?" Apparently, Christian wasn't done with his inquisition yet, though his tone was a bit softer than it had been.

"I don't know yet. It will depend on how my interviews go tomorrow." She shrugged.

Kate smiled, too much of a smile to my brother. She really wasn't a fan of my brother. No one would usually be able to tell, but I read people well. "Ana deserves a break." She told Christian.

"You have interviews?" Dad asked.

"Yes, for internships at two publishers, tomorrow." Ana agreed.

"I wish you the best of luck." Dad's voice was genuine. He really did like Ana.

"Dinner is on the table." Mom announced as she returned to the room.

We all got up and headed to the dining room. I sat beside Mia, my friends on my other side. Elliot and Kate sat across from us, leaving two seats for Christian and Ana who were apparently not out of the living room yet.

Dad began pouring everyone, my friends and I included, a glass of red wine once we sat down at the table. Then, Mia began questioning the couple. All the questions Mom and I hadn't had answers to.

"Where did you meet, Ana?" Mia began.

"She interviewed me for the WSU student magazine." Christian told her.

I could have sworn we told Mia that.

"Which Kate edits." Ana added, clearly uncomfortable with being the center of attention, and successfully turning the conversation over to Kate, who began talking to Elliot about the student magazine.

"Wine, Ana?" Dad asked her.

"Please." She smiled at him as he poured the wine in her glass.

My friends were totally invested in the conversation Kate and Elliot were having, well, invested wasn't the right word. Involved. Macy was on yearbook staff, and Rocklin wrote for the student paper, so they were asking Kate all kinds of questions.

I was more focused on my brother and Ana whispering, and a little shocked when Kate interrupted them. "What are you two whispering about?" Kate asked, her tone playful enough everyone took it as playful, but it just seemed…intrusive to me. I wasn't so sure about Kate yet. I was going to have to get to know her better. She wasn't going to just be like Ana. I wasn't going to like her after barely meeting her.

The glare Christian sent her made me snort a laugh out, shaking my head to try and get it out of my system. I didn't need to piss Christian off right now.

"Just about my trip to Georgia." Ana offers up sweetly, clearly trying to calm Kate.

"How was José when you went to the bar with him on Friday?" Kate smiled with her eyes looking rather…mischievous? No, not mischievous, wicked. She meant to say that name in front of Christian.

Why would she word it like that? Why did she mention the bar? Why not just ask about the guy and leave it at that? She was trying to get under Christian's skin. Based on the look that crossed Christian's eyes, it was working too.

"He was fine." Ana's voice was soft, nervous.

Mom came back in the room, carrying two plates, Gretchen with her carrying a tray of plates. She blushed when she looked at Christian and I rolled my eyes.

I heard our home phone begin ringing and Dad stood up. "Excuse me."

"Thank you Gretchen" Mom smiled at our housekeeper. "Just leave the tray on the console."

Gretchen nodded and left as Mom began handing out plates, Dad returning right as she was giving Ana her plate. "Call for you Darling. It's the hospital." Dad pecked Mom's cheek as he entered the dining room again.

"Please start everyone." Mom told us as she left the room.

I was so excited about our meal. Our starter alone was chorizo and scallops with roasted red pepper and shallots, sprinkled with parsley leafs. We hadn't had this in a while, and it made my stomach growl As we began eating, Mom returned, a worried look on her face.

"Everything okay?" Dad asked her.

"Another measles case." Mom sighed as she took her seat.

"Oh no." Dad sighed right back.

"Yes, a child. The fourth case this month. If only people would get their kids vaccinated." She shook her head, sadness evident in her eyes, but perked up and smiled. "I'm so glad our children never went through that. They never caught anything worse than the chicken pox, poor Elliot and Letty, they had it bad." Elliot and I both frowned at our mother, blushing. "Christian and Mia were lucky. It was so mild with them, they only got a spot to share between them. Then Letty's meningitis, but aside from that, minor colds and such."

Mia giggled about the chicken pox, and Christian rolled his eyes.

"So, did you catch the Mariners game Dad?" Elliot asked, wanting to change the topic.

"Hey, I watch them too!" I defended.

Elliot rolled his eyes at me as Dad answered his question. "I heard it went into extra innings."

"Ugh, Seattle baseball." Mia complained.

"How are you settling into your new apartment Dear?" Mom asked Ana, who seemed grateful for the question.

So the conversations began. Small talk around the table. Mia was talking to my friends and I at first, asking us if she was allowed to come when we presented our project, which I rolled my eyes at and assured her she could not. Then Mia moved onto talking to Kate, while Macy and I began chatting about our upcoming tournament. The arrival of our next course prompted Mia to look away from Kate and towards Ana.

"Have you been to Paris, Ana?" I hear my sister ask, pure innocence in her voice.

"No, but I'd love to go." Ana smiles at her.

"We honeymooned in Paris." Mom told her, smiling at Dad. I stuck my tongue out to Elliot in mock disgust who nodded in agreement.

"It's a beautiful city." Mia continued. "In spite of the Parisians. Christian, you should take Ana to Paris." Mia told our brother firmly.

"I think Anastasia would prefer London." Christian disagreed.

Gretchen showed up with our entrée, Beef Wellington, before heading back towards the kitchen. Once she was gone, Elliot looked to Mia.

"So what was wrong with the Parisians?" He asked Mia. "Didn't they take to your winsome ways?"

"Ugh, no they didn't. And Monsieur Floubert, the ogre I was working for, he was such a domineering tyrant." Mia informed us.

Ana spluttered into her wine. Had she choked?

"Anastasia, are you okay?" Christian asks, earning a nod. He patted her back gently, lingering it for a few moments. I smiled at the sweetness he was showing. It was rare.

The conversation kept flowing, all the way through entrées and during our desert, lemon syllabub. Mia accidentally spoke in fluent French, and everyone stared puzzled at her. Christian offered back in equally as fluent French that she had accidentally spoken in French, and Mia began laughing, which made the rest of us laugh.

Elliot talks about his latest building project, an eco-friendly community to the north of Seattle, and the way Kate watched my brother as he spoke with either lust or love. Maybe both. He grinned right down at her, like an unspoken promise, and I wanted to vomit realizing what that must mean.

Once it seemed to be my turn to speak, Rocklin, Macy, and I told the family of our plans for the Harry Potter premiere, and then Macy and I got to talking about soccer, and how we felt we actually had a good chance of making it to the finals in the tournament after seeing the bracket that was released. It was the championship game that would be a problem.

Macy, Mia, and I jump to help Mom clear the dessert glasses, everyone following us to the kitchen, Dad, Kate, and Elliot began speaking about the merit of solar panels in Washington State, a topic I found boring.

Christian and Ana excused themselves, Christian explaining he was giving a tour of the grounds. After Gretchen had taken over with the dishes for Mom, we all made our way back to the living room, conversation still strong.

"So, how long have you played soccer?" Kate asked me kindly.

"I was four when I started." I told her with a polite smile.

"Elliot tells me you're very talented." She pointed out.

"I'm alright." I told her.

"Oh, she's being modest. She's amazing." Macy disagreed with me. "She was the first 8th grader to ever be pulled up as a started on the varsity high school team and she could outrun anyone."

"I'm an outside midfielder, so I do a lot of running." I told her.

This sparked a discussion on running for pleasure, which Mia and Elliot found amusing Christian and I did every morning. Elliot ran too, on a treadmill at the gym, but Mia stuck to things like yoga and Zumba to get her exercise in. This turned into another debate about the health benefits of different types of workouts, not actually started by Mom, but she offered up her medical opinion as well.

Once it got later, and Kate and Elliot were preparing to leave, and Christian and Ana had yet to return, Mia headed off to look for them.

"We can take Rocklin and Macy home on our way." Elliot offered to my parents.

"Thank you Darling." Mom smiled.

After Elliot, Kate, and my friends had all bid their farewells, they headed out. Ana and Christian approached my parents next.

"We should go too—" Christian looked to Ana "you have interviews tomorrow."

Mia pounced on poor Ana, embracing her in a huge hug. "We never thought he'd find anyone!" She exclaimed.

Ana blushed, and Christian simply rolled his eyes at our sister.

"Take care of yourself, Ana, dear." Mom spoke to Ana kindly, smiling as she did so.

"Let's not frighten her away or spoil her with too much affection" Christian grumbled. I shook my head, I swear Christian was bipolar half the time, his mood ever changing.

"Christian, stop teasing." Mom scolded him, but her eyes were all full of love towards her youngest son

I personally didn't think he was teasing, but I would keep that comment to myself.

"Mom." He says, smiling at me.

"Mr. Grey—goodbye and thank you." Ana went for a handshake, only to get a hug from my father. That meant he liked her too. She had made quite the impression on my family.

"Please, call me Carrick." Dad corrects her. "I do hope we see you again, ver soon, Ana."

"Will you be coming by this week with Mia back home?" I asked Christian, almost hopefully, testing his current mood with me.

"Don't you have final exams?" He asked me.

"Yeah, but we could celebrate my last one on Thursday. I have a half day at school. Could you…could you maybe take me out on the boat?" I asked nervously.

"We'll se what I can do." He told me as he gave me a gentle, rare hug. Apparently, any anger he still held toward me, was gone. I wasn't the key player in his odd mood.

"Ana, I hope you have a safe trip back home if you go." I told Christian's girlfriend.

"Thank you Letty." She smiled warmly at me.

I held my hand out to her, shaking it. I wasn't sure how Ana felt about hugging, and the rest of my family had probably hugged the poor girl to death. I would offer a handshake in hopes of it giving her a little space to make her more comfortable, not to make her think I disliked her.

The smile she kept, and the one I offered, confirmed that the action had it's intended affect. She looked at me, almost grateful. She wasn't used to the way we lived, not like Kate had been. This was probably so overwhelming to her.

Once the left Mia squealed again and I rolled my eyes. "Mia, that noise." I sighed.

"Oh, you know you've missed her!" She exclaimed. "I can't believe he's found someone!"

"Not what you expected?" I asked.

"Not at all." He agreed.

"Me either." I smiled. "In a good way though."

"You two both seem to like her." Mia told our parents as we moved to sit back down in the living room.

"She's lovely." Mom agreed. "And she makes your brother happy. That's all that really matters to us."

"I think we may have frightened her a little bit." I admitted.

"Us? Frightening?" Mia asked.

I rolled my eyes. "You seem to forget that Ana isn't necessarily from our world. Yes, she's roommates with a girl that is used to fancy family dinners and champagne and such, but she's just a normal college graduate."

"I hope we didn't scare her too much." Dad sighed.

"Probably not enough to keep her away from Christian. She loves, or at least is falling in love with him. That much is obvious." I finished as a smile played out on my lips. "And Elliot seems…different with Kate. I don't think this is just a fling."

"I agree to that. I like Kate." Mia smiled.

"You like everyone." I rolled my eyes.

"It was just good to have all four of you together, smiling and having a good time." Mom smiled happily as Dad pecked her cheek.

We sat around talking for a little while, but all headed to get ready for bed once it got later. I was in my pajamas in an instant, makeup washed from my face, book in hand as Dad peaked his head in to check on me.

"Get some rest tonight Princess, you've got exams tomorrow." He glanced at the book in my hand.

"I'm just going to read until my eyes tire enough to sleep." I assured him.

"Alright, well, I have to be at work early so it'll just be you and your mother at breakfast. I doubt Mia will wake up early with the jet lag." Dad told me as he moved to sit on the side of my bed. "Did you enjoy dinner tonight?"

"I did." I agreed, but there was a slight bit of hesitation in my tone.

"But?" He asked.

"I don't know. Christian just seemed to be in a strange mood." I shrugged.

"I'm sure it was just something with work, or the nervousness of introducing a girlfriend to the family for the first time." He told me.

"Maybe." I agreed.

"Get some rest Princess. I love you." Dad told me as he kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Dad!" I called as he was leaving.

Once he was gone, I flipped through another chapter, well, two, because I couldn't put it down, and finally turned my lamp off, and closed my eyes, thinking about the day as I awaited sleep. It had been a truly marvelous dinner, and I really did enjoy Ana's company. Kate would grow on me, I was sure, but for now, Ana was my favorite of the two. I was just going to not think on the slight moodiness of my brother. Maybe it was just nerves.

My mind finally shut up as unconsciousness greeted me like an old friend.


	13. Chapter 13: Strange Set of Siblings

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So first of all, I went to the 7:10 showing of Darker on Feb. 9 because it was being shown early at the theater in my college town. So posting this a day early is sort of in honor of that. I won't say much about the movie seeing as it officially came out today so not many of you have seen it yet, but PM me if you have seen the movie and we can either rant or praise about it together.

I forgot about responding to some questions in the reviews so to answer some questions…

Jeangb: Yes, Christian had the relationship with Elena in my story and that will come up in the future but I'm not sure when. She is very astute, that's for sure and knows her brother very well. And Grace and Carrick will have sort of a blind eye to their youngest child when it comes to the trouble around them. I'll leave it at that.

Guest: She will be interacting a lot with her siblings in the story, and in this chapter actually, but the most interaction is down the line. As for who I imagine as Letty, the cover photo for the story is who I picture but India Eisley would also make a good Letty.

Shazjackmeg: I'm not sure how much Elena interaction there will be directly involving Letty, but she will come up in the future chapters, rest assured.

Other Guest: I'm leaning much more towards the books than the movies, but canon cast from the movies aside from Mia. I like Lucy Hale more as Mia than Rita but that's my personal opinion. You can rightfully hate Macy, but Rocklin will definitely grow on you in the future (I hope). As for future love interest, all I can say is yes, in some ways, no in others, and a future yes. If that confused you, good. You'll see what I mean.

Even Other Guest: Two of her friends will really grow on you in the end, but yes, most are leading her in a deeper spiral. Hate Macy as much as you want ;)

Stephany: Kate will grow on Letty. Just like she was with Christian, she's an acquired taste.

Actually Important Part of the AN: SOOO that was kind of long, my bad. I just finished typing up chapter twenty-six, and am working on chapter twenty-seven, so that's super exciting. Keep the reviews coming you all, I love them so so much. School is going to be super super crazy for a little while so I'm going to try and get some chapters cranked out tonight before I die. I have so many exams these next two weeks, _and_ **I freaking leave for IRELAND on March 2, so that's so exciting I had to put it in bold. Can you say best freaking spring break trip ever?**

That's definitely enough for now so we can move onto the actual chapter and let you guys read.

Chapter 13: Strange Set of Siblings

" _What strange creatures brothers are!"_

― _Jane Austen_

Letty POV

" _You're mine. You're all mine. No one else will ever touch you. If they try, I'll kill them." Man told me as he smacked me in the face. "You're my Cunt, no one else's."_

 _He made me "please" him again today. He makes me do that a lot. I don't like it. it hurts so bad when he does that to me._

 _Man left me after kissing me again, but Woman took her place._

" _It's your fault he won't fuck me anymore, you know that?!" She snapped, a pack of matches in her hand. "You know what these are for, don't you Julie?"_

" _No! Please no!" I sobbed. Why did she want to do this?_

…

"No! Please no!" I sobbed.

"Letty!" Mia's voice was desperate as she shook my shoulders. "Hey, you're okay."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"You don't have to apologize." She shook her head. "Just breathe. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I told her. "What time is it?"

"5:00." She told me.

"Mom and Dad?" I asked.

"You didn't wake them." She assures me. "But maybe you should. That one seemed like a bad one."

"I'm fine Mia, really. It's nothing new." I whispered. "You can go back to bed, I was getting up soon anyway."

"If you're sure." She sighed before leaving.

I groaned and laid back down for a second. With Mia in the room next to mine, I would most likely wake her up a lot more than I woke my parents up. I had to find a way to at least keep myself quiet, but preferably stop the dreams.

I headed out on my run just as soon as I was ready, returning earlier than usual. I could still hear the shower in Mom and Dad's room, and a hairdryer as well. They were still getting ready.

I was quick to get in the shower myself, and getting ready as soon as I was finished getting clean. I made my way down to the breakfast room, taking my seat at the table and smiling at the eggs benedict in front of me.

"Mia told us you didn't sleep very well." Mom told me softly.

Of course she did. I sighed and shook my head. "I'm fine, really."

"Darling, talking about it may help." Mom told me.

"I don't want to talk about it." I disagreed.

"Your mother is right Princess. Talking may help you not have dreams like those." Dad told me as he looked up from the paper.

He was wrong about that. Talking would make it worse. It would make it so much worse.

"I really don't want to talk about it." I repeated my earlier phrase. "Isn't it bad enough I have to go to therapy? I don't want therapy at home too!"

"Juliette…" Dad's voice was warning me to keep my attitude in check.

"Sorry, I just really don't want to talk about my dreams. I never have. Therapy hasn't changed that." I told him, trying to keep my tone even this time.

Breakfast went on without much more conversation, and soon enough, I found myself in my French classroom, presenting my poster with Rocklin and Macy, and then watching the other presentations. After that came my algebra II exam. I wasn't sure how I did on either, but I kept my hopes high. I had never failed an exam, especially not a final exam.

Mia took me to practice after school, staying in the bleachers seeing as she was also going to take me to therapy afterwards. Practice went fairly well, but I did have to run laps for Macy and I "disrespecting coach by laughing when it was a serious matter".

"What was that all about?" Mia asked as I made my way up to her, covered in grass from the knee down due to the damn field.

"The laps?" I asked.

"Yeah, you never get forced to run those." She told me. "Your teammates, sure, but never you."

"Macy and I couldn't quit laughing when coach was talking about the tournament coming up. He accidentally said "fornication" instead of "formation", and we couldn't keep a straight face to save our lives." I smiled as we made our way to her car.

"I don't blame you for laughing." She agreed. "Seems like he overreacted to me."

"I think he's nervous about the tournament. It's our last one until after school season so until next January." I told her.

"So" she began "I spoke to Christian and Elliot and they're free for dinner tonight. Just the four of us, no Mom, no Dad."

"Where?" I asked her.

"Well, Elliot wanted Buffalo Wild Wings" she shook her head and I laughed. Mia hated BWW, so did Christian. I would very rarely go with Elliot. "But I got them to agree to Canlis."

"We haven't been there in a while." I smiled, thinking of the restaurant that had a beautiful view of the city. I couldn't remember going since middle school though.

"I figured you would like to go." She agreed. "I brought one of your dresses from home" I rolled my eyes "and Christian said it's fine for you to shower and get ready at his place so we don't have to drive all the way back to Bellevue."

We didn't have much more of a chance to talk, because soon enough we were outside of Dr. Flynn's office. He greeted me as he always did, eyeing the biology book in my hand with a slight sense of amusement as he let me in.

"Did you do your homework? Did you think about the words I left with you last time?" He asked me as I flipped open my textbook.

They echoed in my head again. _You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written – behind your silence and your suffering._

"Yes." I simply agreed.

"Would you like to share anything about that?" He asked.

"Nope." I disagreed as I began going through my textbook.

He watched me for a few moments before finally leaving me to it, knowing I wasn't going to speak with him about anything.

I actually accomplished quite a bit of studying during my appointment. At least it wasn't a total waste of my time. I wondered why Dr. Flynn let me come back, knowing I wouldn't speak. Maybe he was afraid to tell my parents he didn't know what to do with me, or maybe he was afraid to tell Christian. Either way, it shocked me and I half wished that he _would_ kick me out. Then again, a part of me didn't, because I was afraid Christian would tell my parents if he found out I wasn't cooperating in therapy.

"Ready?" Mia asked as I made my way to the waiting room.

"Yeah, let's go." I agreed. "Goodbye Dr. Flynn."

"Goodbye Letty." He told me, watching as I walked with my sister.

Mia and I were at Christian's just a few minutes after we left Dr. Flynn's, greeted by Taylor and the sound of the piano as soon as we were inside the penthouse. Taylor took the two garment bags from my sister and told us he would put them in one of the guest rooms for us.

I smiled when I saw my brother in his gray suit, playing away at the piano, seemingly unaware that Mia and I had arrived. He played so beautifully though, much more beautifully than I could, regardless of what he would say about me being just as fine a pianist as he is.

"Christian." Mia called as we stepped further into the room.

He brought the song to the end before turning to look at us, smiling when he saw the look of disgust Mia was giving my feet as I pulled my shoes off.

"How was practice?" He asked me.

I was grateful he hadn't asked about therapy. "It was good. Coach made me run laps though."

"And why is that?" He chuckled.

"Macy and I couldn't keep it together on one of his rants. He accidentally said "fornication" instead of "formation"." I shook my head at the memory.

Christian smirked, chuckling just a little before another voice sounded. "Did I hear someone say fornication?" Elliot asked as he walked in the room from the foyer.

"Gross Elliot." Mia smacked his arm playfully.

"Baby Sis said it first." He defended himself as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, tickling my sides.

"ELLIOT!" I squealed as I kicked my legs, trying to get down.

"If you make her vomit on the floor, you're cleaning it up." Christian warned our brother through his own laughter at my displeasure.

"I think you've put on a pound or two." He settled me on my feet. "Mom would be pleased."

"It's sad when your older brother picks you up enough to know if you've gained a pound when you're in high school." I rolled my eyes.

"We've got to go get ready." Mia finally decided as she grabbed my hand.

"Save me!" I squealed to my brothers as Mia dragged me with her.

I heard some chuckles in response, but no one came to my rescue as Mia dragged me to one of the guest rooms. "You, shower." She ordered.

I sighed but nodded and headed to the connected bathroom. It was…lavish, like every part of Christian's home, but I enjoyed the waterfall showerhead with the other shower heads that came from the walls as well. Mine at home had a waterfall showerhead, as well as two others, but this one was bigger than mine at home.

As soon as I was clean, I headed out in my towel to brave Mia who promptly made me sit down on the bed and began drying, and then curling my hair before getting to work on my makeup. I tried to tell her not to do to much, but I don't think she really listened. I had to admit though, I did look good.

I noticed for the first time, Mia had changed. She now wore a black knee length dress, Valentino if I remembered that one correctly. I rolled my eyes. Valentino for dinner. What had she brought for me.

She tossed me my dress, still on a hanger, and I smiled at it. it was my red, long sleeved, mid-thigh length Valentino dress that I didn't get to wear that often. It was still one of my favorites though. I still couldn't help but point out the obvious.

"Isn't Valentino a little much for dinner with our brothers?" I asked her with a smile as I pulled the dress on, careful not to get makeup on it or mess up my hair.

"Not when we're going to a fancy restaurant where the paparazzi could very well photograph us with Christian." She disagreed.

"As long as you didn't bring Louis Vuittons for me too." I agreed nodding towards her black heels with the trademark red bottom.

"They match your dress best." She told me as she tossed my red Louis Vuitton heels to me.

I groaned and shook my head. "Mia."

"No arguing. You'll look wonderful." She smiled.

I pulled the shoes on my feet and stared in the mirror as Mia put my favorite strand of pearls around my neck, handing me the matching earrings and bracelet.

"At least you brought my favorite jewelry." I added.

"I had to pacify you somehow." She giggled. "Let's get to the boys."

I could tell my brothers weren't exactly pleased with the length of the dress Mia had brought for me to wear, but they would get over it. They would forever see me as a little girl, regardless of how old I got.

"Ready to go?" Christian asked us.

"God I hope so. If she pulls another pair of Louis Vuittons or a Valentino dress for me to change into, I may go crazy." I joked with Mia who rolled her eyes at me.

"We can come back to play x-box after dinner, right?" Elliot asked.

I rolled my eyes. Of course he would want to play x-box against Christian. Mia could even beat Christian due to his lack of experience.

"Mom and Dad will kill me if I don't have her home to study for finals at a decent hour." Mia told Elliot with a headshake. "You two can play though. I'm sure Christian would be more than glad to have you beat him multiple times."

"No fair, I want to beat Christian too." I pouted.

"How about after school lets out you can come hang out on a Saturday?" He asked.

"Really?" I asked him.

He chuckled. "It's not really a novelty. You've done it before."

"Well, I just thought now that you have a girlfriend your weekends may be a little…occupied." I couldn't help but blush when I said this and Elliot burst out laughing, Mia trying to contain herself as well as Christian looked at me mortified.

"What has happened to my innocent little sister?" He asked.

"Oh gross!" I exclaimed. "No, I didn't mean it like that! I just meant I assumed you and Ana would have dates!"

"Let's get to the restaurant before we traumatize poor Letty even further." Christian told my siblings, offering his arm to Mia while I took Elliot's.

Taylor drove us in one of the SUVs. I was wedged between my brothers in the back, giving Mia the front seat, but the drive didn't take that long. Mia was right in having me dress in a fancy dress and shoes. Paparazzi began photographing us the minute we were out of the SUV.

Christian groaned as he wrapped a protective arm around me. "Just smile." He reminded me.

I always got nervous if paparazzi was around. It didn't happen _that_ often, usually only if I was actually with Christian, but it unsettled me, having so many strangers trying to get in such close proximity, camera flashes one of the only things you could see as you tried to keep walking.

Taylor got us inside though, and the restaurant owner immediately apologized profusely to Christian, who assured him it was fine. We were taken to one of the special tables, one with a really good view and more secluded from the rest.

Christian ordered a bottle of wine and then we were left to look over the menus. "Sorry about the paparazzi." Christian told us all as we looked over the menu.

"You've been all over the tabloids since they photographed you with Ana." Mia told him.

"I wish they would just leave her alone. I don't want to put too much on her right at the beginning of the…relationship." I noticed his hesitancy with that word, like he wasn't sure if that was the right one to use, but I wouldn't press him on that.

"How's Kate?" I asked Elliot.

"Oh man, she's awesome. She's so hot and so much fun and the sex is…" He began.

"Elliot!" Mia and Christian scolded simultaneously as my cheeks began heating up. I did not want to know about Elliot's sex life even though through the years I had learned much more about it than I ever wanted to know.

"Oh, er, sorry girls." He chuckled.

"You're so nasty." I told him with a headshake.

Seriously, he kind of was. I was surprised he hasn't had an STD with how many people he's slept with. He must be careful. I shook my head from the thoughts.

"Mom would be mortified had she heard you." Mia added.

The waiter returned, ending that conversation thankfully. Mia ordered first, and then it was my turn. I ordered oysters for my first course, Dungeness crab for my second, black cod for my main course, and banana mousse for my desert. After the boys ordered, conversation started up again.

"So, Elliot, is Kate a um…fling?" I asked. "You don't usually bring them home."

"She's more than that." He disagreed, blushing. Did Elliot Grey actually just blush? "Why aren't you asking Christian the same thing?"

"Because we _know_ Ana's not just a fling. He's never brought a girl home. Literally never." Mia added. "You on the other hand…"

"Alright, alright, is it pick on Elliot night?" He asked. "What about you Letty? Any boys?"

"Nope." I disagreed. "None of them are right."

"What's wrong with them?" He chuckled.

"They act too much like you." I half-joked. They were immature like Elliot could be.

"Ouch." Elliot told me as Christian and Mia laughed, both kept smirks on their faces long after they quit laughing.

"How was your appointment today?" Christian asked me.

"How was _your_ appointment today?" I countered.

He frowned. "I see your point."

"Why do you seem so mad at Christian anytime someone mentions Dr. Flynn or therapy?" Mia asked, and I sighed, shaking my head.

"She blames me for her going to see him." Christian informed them and I glared at him.

"Because it is _your_ fault." I added.

"Wait, Mom and Dad made it seem like it was your idea to give therapy another chance." Elliot told me, clearly confused as he sipped on his wine upon the arrival of our first course.

I couldn't say much to that though. Not without them figuring out why I was really in therapy.

"I may have influenced her." Christian told them after a moment of awkward silence.

"You mean _forced_." I corrected.

"Alright, I'm confused." Mia told us.

"Me too." Elliot agreed.

"He _blackmailed_ me." I groaned.

"Ooh, blackmail. I want to know." Elliot grinned.

"Not a word Christian." I warned him.

"It wasn't blackmail. I gave you another option." Christian frowned.

"Yeah of telling Mom and Dad." I sighed.

"It must have been something really bad if you would choose therapy over a lecture." Elliot told me. I glared at him. "Oh, it would've been worse than a lecture."

"I'm way too curious now. Come on you two, spill. Mom and Dad aren't here, and we sure won't tell them." Mia told me.

"Are you sure about that Mia? You tend to have a big mouth." Elliot teased.

Mia sent a glare to him. "I won't tell but I want to know!"

"Our sister was at a party a few Saturdays ago." Christian told them.

"So?" Elliot asked.

"Let me rephrase. Our sister was at a party so drunk she threw up all over one of my cars and blacked out." Christian told them and I glared at him.

"Christian!" I snapped.

"Hey Letty, don't worry. Your secret is safe with us." Elliot told me.

"Is it?" I asked Mia who looked like she was contemplating something.

"I mean you're fourteen." She sighed.

"I'm almost fifteen." I corrected her.

She rolled her eyes. "Either way you are a far stretch from legally being allowed to drink. What would have happened if the cops had busted up the party?"

"But they didn't." I sighed.

"But they could have." She countered.

"Oh give it a rest Mia. You two should just calm down. It's not like she's an alcoholic and it isn't like none of us ever drank underage." Elliot actually stood up for me. "Let her live a little and make her own mistakes. We all got to."

The conversation topic moved off of me, and to Elliot's upcoming trip to Barbados with Kate and her family, which in turn had me asking if Ana made it safely to Savannah. He assured me she had, but my brother definitely did not seem happy about her being there. Who was he to tell her when she could or couldn't visit her mother?

After desert, Taylor took us all back to Christian's. It was nearly 10:00 so Mia decided I needed to get home to keep her from facing the wrath of our parents, so with another bear hug from Elliot, and a kiss on the cheek from Christian, I climbed in the car with Mia to head home.

We didn't get chances to go out for dinner without our parents that often with Elliot and Christian working, but I had really enjoyed tonight. We may be a strange set of siblings, but I loved both of my brothers and my sister more than I could imagine loving any other siblings in the world. At dinner tonight, I had almost, almost forgotten about how crappy the day had started out, but the memories of my nightmare still haunted me.

"Tonight was fun." She told me.

It took me a minute to snap back into conversation mode. "Yeah. Yeah it was."

"You okay?" Mia asked as she drove us.

Dr. Flynn's words echoed in my head yet another time. _You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written – behind your silence and your suffering._ And for a brief moment, I considered telling Mia about my dream. I couldn't though. Not about that particular dream anyway.

"Yeah, just tired." I assured her.

We finally reached the house, and Mom sent me straight to bed because she wanted me fully rested for my exams the next day. After getting the makeup off, and pajamas on, I crawled into my bed again, and fell asleep before either of my parents even came to check on me.


	14. Chapter 14: Little Blue Pill

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Alright, so I know it isn't Saturday, BUT, I have a super busy weekend this weekend. I have to go home from college to get things I need before I leave for Europe in t-minus thirteen days, and I have so much to study for, so I'm posting this tonight and getting it out of the way. I hope you all enjoy it.

As for where I am right now writing, I just finished chapter 28 and am about two thirds of the way done with chapter 29, so I'm moving right along. PLEASE REVIEW GUYS! There were so few on the last chapter, which granted, wasn't my best, but I'M BEGGING FOR REVIEWS!

Chapter 14: Little Blue Pill

" _If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet."_

― _Keith Richards, Keith Richards: In His Own Words_

Letty POV

Thursday rolled around and it was finally summer vacation. I took my very last final, which was just to pass a fitness test for gym class, and then, at 11:30 due to the half day, I was in the parking lot being picked up by Mia, who wore a mischievously evil smirk on her face.

"Uh oh." I groaned and she giggled.

"You have exactly four hours until kickboxing which means that you and I are going to go get lunch and then…" She began.

"Don't say it." I grumbled.

"We're going to go…" She tried again.

"Please no. Anything but that." I made a dramatic groan.

"Shopping!" She decided excitedly.

"Mom already took me summer clothes shopping!" I disagreed.

"Doesn't mean we can't go again!" She giggled.

"Mia." I groaned.

"Letty." She groaned right back.

"Mia!" I snapped.

"Letty!" She exclaimed excitedly.

Once Mia was like this, there was no stopping her. "Fine." I sighed.

"Oh we'll have so much fun!" She promised me.

"I wouldn't call it fun." I disagreed.

"We're going to get sushi beforehand." She smiled.

I did perk up a bit at that. I loved sushi so much, and hadn't had it in a while. Mia was warming me up for a day of torture. I knew I would leave with far too many designer clothes I wasn't even a big fan of that Mia thought looked good on me.

Mia and I got a big platter with an assortment of sushi at the restaurant so we could have different kinds and she smiled at me. "So."

"So?" I asked, a little confused.

"Boys." She smiled.

"Mia." I groaned.

"I didn't press you on it in front of our brothers." She defended herself. "Were you serious the other day about there not being any you would consider dating?"

"Well, yeah." I agreed.

"Why not?" She asked.

"They're either all about to ship out for college or they're idiots." I told her honestly.

"Idiots, hmm?" She asked.

"Most of the guys at school just want to have sex." I shrugged.

"And you don't?" She asked.

"MIA!" I gasped.

"I'm just curious." She told me.

"I just think it should be more special than what most of the guys have in mind." I blushed.

"You're so adorable, I swear." She giggled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Just wait until college. They're so much worse." She shook her head.

"Great. I'll never find a man." I groaned.

"What about Alex?" She asked.

"What about Alex?" I countered.

"I think we've all seen the way that boy looks at you. All doe-eyed and like you're the only living person in the entire world. The only one who matters. You should give him a shot, he's cute." She suggested.

"I don't see you bringing any boys home for dinner." I crossed my arms.

"I left them back in Paris." She smirked.

"You're not saying you hooked up with multiple guys in Paris, are you?" I gaped at her.

"I'm 22 so I can do what I want when it comes to boys." She laughed.

"Mia!" I gasped.

"You didn't seriously think I was a virgin, did you?" She asked.

"Okay, I think I'm officially mortified." I told her, my cheeks so hot I doubted they would _ever_ return to their normal shade.

"You asked." She shrugged.

"I didn't mean for you to answer that honestly!" I exclaimed. "And shouldn't you be encouraging me on waiting to find a boyfriend that doesn't just want me for Lady Town?"

"Lady Town?" She giggled.

"It's what Macy calls…it…" I trailed off.

"You mean your…" She began.

"Please don't say it out loud." I cut her off.

"As for your earlier statement, yes. I do think you should wait to have sex until you are in love. You should let your first time be special because you never forget it." She told me. "You don't have to sleep with every guy you date."

"Was your first time special?" I asked her.

"Do you really want to know?" She asked.

"Just with a 'yes' or 'no', I would not like to know the details." I told her.

"Yes and no." She told me.

"Mia." I groaned.

"What?" She asked.

"Now I _have_ to know the details." I sighed. "Yes _and_ no?"

"Mom caught us." She laughed.

"And you're laughing about it?" I gasped.

"I was seventeen. It's been long enough that Mom and I can both laugh about it now." She giggled.

"How did she catch you?" I asked.

"Two words; pool house. She came to bring us lemonade and…well…" Mia trailed off as she giggled again.

"What did she do?" I asked her, actually curious to how my mother would react to finding one of her children having sex.

"She apologized and left, waited to talk to me until after he left. Though, he didn't stick around long after being busted." She laughed.

"Was she mad?" I asked.

"No. Actually, she was pretty calm about it. I had to endure a talk about unexpected pregnancies and STDs, and she made me visit a gynecologist to get on birth control, and gave me a box of condoms, but she didn't tell Dad and that was the end of it." Mia assured me.

I burst out laughing at the thought of Mom buying condoms. I mean, prim and proper Dr. Trevelyan buying condoms just had me torn up in laughter.

"So, that's all you have to worry about if Mom ever catches you. Dad on the other hand…" She trailed off.

"Oh God, I would be mortified." I laughed.

"He walked in on Elliot a few times. Mom too." She giggled.

"Well, I think we've all had some embarrassing moments with Elliot." I smiled.

"Far too many if you ask me." Mia giggled. "But it wouldn't be Elliot without those moments."

After lunch, Mia and I mad our way to various stores. I put my foot down when she wanted me to buy a $1,000 sundress that I didn't even like though. I would never wear it, not even if she forced me in it, so it wasn't worth the money.

Mia's torturous shopping trip wasn't as bad as I expected, but I was glad when she finally dropped me off at the kickboxing gym.

Training was a little tough today. My trainer was not holding back today and when it was finally time for lessons to be over, he didn't seem pleased. "You've regressed." He told me.

"What?" I asked.

"You're not as strong or in as good of shape as you usually are. Have you been working out like you normally do?" He asked.

Aside from party recovery days, I had been doing exactly the same thing I did every day. "Yeah, nothing's changed." I told him.

"Maybe you need to start drinking protein shakes after training sessions. It may help get some more muscle on you." He told me. "So, I'll see you Tuesday?"

"See you Tuesday." I agreed as I put on a hoodie over my sports bra and headed outside.

Dad was waiting on me, sitting in his car reading over some lengthy document, which he put away once he saw me and unlocked the door.

"Hey Dad." I greeted him.

"Hey Princess. Did you have a good day?" He asked.

"Yeah, it was nice. I would like a warning the next time Mia plans on taking me shopping though." I laughed.

"I can promise you I didn't know your sister was taking you shopping." Dad chuckled. "How bad was the damage?"

"I reigned her in a bit." I assured him. "Hey Dad."

"Yes Princess?" He asked.

"Macy is throwing a "Last Day of School" sleepover tonight. Would it be alright if I go?" I ask.

"I don't see why not, but we'll double check with your mother." Dad smiled as he continued driving. "How was kickboxing?"

I sighed at that one. "Coach said I'm regressing and need to drink protein shakes to build up more muscle. It doesn't make sense though. I'm doing exactly what I've been doing for years."

"Well, I'm not an expert on nutrition so your mother would probably know more, but maybe you've simply hit a wall. I'm sure you're still doing fine. You're healthy." He assured me.

"Maybe I need to add a morning strength workout after my runs." I told him.

"I think you already get too little sleep as it is." He disagreed as he turned off towards Bellevue. "Do you know when grades will be back?"

"Oh, I got most of them verbally from my teachers today. So far, A's again. The report cards aren't sent off for another week though." I told him.

"I'm proud of you Darling." He told me.

If only he knew. If Christian, or any of my siblings now that they know, told him I was into partying and drinking, he would never be proud of me. I think I feared my parents' disappointment more than I feared punishment.

The rest of the drive home was pretty much small talk. When we finally got home, I instantly excused myself to get showered for dinner. I didn't bother putting on makeup, Macy would just redo it once I got to her house, or bother doing much else fixing my hair than drying it.

I headed downstairs in a pair of jeans and a tank top and Mom greeted me with a smile and a warm hug. She wasn't home when we first got back, so I assumed she had to stay later than usual at the hospital "Happy summer vacation." She smiled as she let go and took my hands in hers, standing back to look at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I just can't believe you're already finished with your first year of high school. Just the other day I could've sworn your father and I were dropping you off for your first day of kindergarten." She had a tear threatening to fall from her eye.

That was actually one of my earliest memories I had that wasn't traumatic. It was probably one of the best memories from my early childhood I had.

…

" _Alright Baby, so now that you're in kindergarten, you won't have half days at school anymore." Mommy told me as she fixed my headband and straightened out my plaid jumper._

" _I know Mommy." I whispered, my eyes wide with the idea of having to go to a new classroom with a new teacher. Mommy promised me that I would have some of the same friends to play with my age, as well as some new friends to._

" _It's okay to feel scared about going to school too." Mommy seemed sad as she pulled my knee sock that had slipped down my leg up further._

" _Let's go downstairs for breakfast." She told me as she took my hand._

 _Daddy, Mia, and Christian were all in the breakfast room. Elliot was at some place called college. I didn't like it because he wasn't at home and Mommy told me he wouldn't be back until Christmas time. I missed Elliot._

" _Well Gracie, we've got a college kid, a senior, a seventh grader, and a kindergartener. I feel old, how about you?" Daddy asked Mommy._

 _Mommy started crying and I looked up at her, confused. "Mommy, why are you sad?"_

" _I'm okay Baby." She promised me. "Go sit with your brother and sister and eat your breakfast."_

 _I sat down between Mia and Christian and began eating the pancakes Daddy made. I also got to drink my special chocolate milk that I got for breakfast and for dinner. Mommy said it's to help me grown more._

 _After breakfast, Christian and Mia left for school in his car, but Mommy, Daddy, and I all got in Daddy's car. Mommy was still crying when we got to school. I was worried. Why was Mommy so sad?_

 _Daddy parked and helped me get out of my car seat, that Mommy said I had to ride in until I was bigger, and took my hand. Mommy took my other one when we walked around to her side._

" _Ready Princess?" Daddy asked._

 _I looked up at him and saw him carrying my backpack and my lunchbox. I liked my backpack. It was pink and had a picture of a turtle on it. My lunch box matched it, but it was purple instead._

" _Yes Daddy." I whispered._

 _We walked together inside the school. My old classroom was on the first floor, but my new classroom was on the second. Mommy and Daddy found a cubby that had my name over it, and Daddy hung up my backpack and lunch box for me._

 _There were lots of kids with their mommies and daddies, but the mommies and daddies made me scared. I held Mommy's hand tighter and moved behind her. She would keep me safe._

" _Letty!" Rocklin, my best friend, called as he let go of his Daddy's hand and ran over to us._

" _Hi Rocklin!" I smiled._

" _Guess what I learned in the car today!" He told me._

" _What?" I asked. Rocklin always knew funny things._

" _Well, Madeline asked Daddy where babies come from and he told us that when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much…" Rocklin stopped talking because his Daddy had his hand over Rocklin's mouth before he could say anything else._

" _Rocklin, Son, what did I tell you?" Rocklin's daddy asked him._

" _That I was little to know that so I shouldn't tell other little people." He sighed._

" _Exactly." Rocklin's daddy agreed._

" _But Letty isn't a little person. Letty's my best friend." Rocklin huffed._

 _Mommy was laughing now, and I was happy. That meant she wasn't sad anymore._

" _Sorry about that." Rocklin's daddy sighed. "Grace, Carrick."_

" _Laurence." Mommy greeted him with a handshake, Daddy doing the same thing after Mommy let go of his hand. "It sounds like you all had quite the eventful morning."_

" _Poor Rocklin was doomed with a sister four years older than him that is exceptionally nosey and very pushy for a nine-year-old." Rocklin's daddy laughed as he smoothed out Rocklin's hair._

" _Daddy, my tie came undone again!" Rocklin gasped, looking at me in horror._

" _That's okay Champ, I can fix it." Rocklin's daddy promised him. He knelt down and quickly got Rocklin's tie so it was tighter around his neck._

" _Rocklin, who is your teacher?" Mommy asked him._

" _Mrs. Roberts." He told her._

" _That's my teacher too!" I told him._

" _You two are in the same class then." Daddy told us._

 _Daddy, Mommy, Rocklin's daddy, Rocklin, and I all walked into the room together. It was pretty and happy. The yellow walls had lots of art work on them. A woman walked up to us and I immediately went behind Daddy's leg._

" _It's okay Princess." Daddy promised me. "This is your teacher Mrs. Roberts."_

 _I looked up at her. She looked like Grandma Trevelyan. She was smiling at me, and didn't look very scary. Maybe she would be nice to me._

" _Alright, bye Daddy." Rocklin told his daddy as he held his hand for me. "Come on Letty."_

 _I bit my lip. "Bye Mommy, bye Daddy." I waved as I took it and we went into the room together, and Mrs. Roberts helped us find our seats._

 _Rocklin and I got to start coloring a picture of a school and I looked up. Mommy was crying and Daddy was pulling her out of the classroom. I didn't know why Mommy was so sad but I would draw her a special picture today to make her feel better._

…

"You cried a lot." I told her.

"I was just as bad with your brothers and your sister." Mom admitted with a smile. "My babies were all growing up."

"I'm hungry." I admitted.

"Dinner should be ready." Mom told me.

We walked to the dining room together, and sure enough, Gretchen was putting plates of food on the table. Dad and Mia were already at the table, wine in hand, laughing about something. Mom and I joined them, and after dinner, I made my way back up to my room and grabbed my bag, and then Mia took me over to Macy's.

"Be more responsible this time." She told me.

I rolled my eyes. "I wish Christian had just kept that to himself."

"Hey." She grabbed my hand. "I'm serious. You shouldn't drink that much."

"Mia, I'll be fine." I assured her.

"Well if anything happens, and you're not fine; call me. I'll come get you and keep it between us unless it's something super serious. I just want to make sure you're safe. You know that offer goes for Elliot too, and even Christian. Though, I would say Elliot or I are your best bets on people to not freak out." She assured me.

I offered a small smile and nodded. "Thanks Mia."

I headed inside the house, waving one more time at my sister, and immediately finding Macy. She dragged me up to her room, in a very Mia-like fashion, and began putting makeup on my face instantly and doing my hair. She was already ready in a bronze colored sequin dress that was so tight I wondered if she could breathe.

Once I was deemed appropriate, I got slipped into my royal blue sequin dress, and matching royal blue sequin heels, and the two of us headed downstairs, passing quite a few of our friends in the process who were all going upstairs to get ready.

The party was in full swing in the basement though, so Macy and I quickly took a few shots and joined the rest of the kids. It was going like it always did, drinking, dancing, people making out, people going off to hook up. I wasn't as out of it as I usually was tonight though. I knew I had drank as much as usual, but I just wasn't getting as wasted as I usually did.

"I'll be back! I'm going to get another drink!" I called to my friends over the music before I wandered off the dance floor, and found another drink. I sat on the couch and prepared to chug it. The quicker I drank it, the faster it would work.

"Want something that works faster than that?" A voice had me jump before I could even start the chug the drink.

"You scared me." I admitted as the guy plopped on the couch.

He was gorgeous. I mean he was literally one of the most gorgeous guys I had ever seen. He was tall, probably about 6'2'', and well built. He had a shade of blue eyes I had never seen, almost turquoise, and short, styled dark brown hair. His facial features in general were flawless. He was literally supermodel status and I instantly knew I hadn't met him before. I would remember someone like him.

"Ashton, but call me Ash." He offered his hand to me.

"Juliette, but Letty is my preferred name." I told him.

"Oh, I know who you are Juliette." He smiled. "Can I call you Jules?"

I cringed internally. Jules was close to Julie, and Julie was what I had been called by Man and Woman, but he was literally the most attractive guy I had ever seen. If he wanted to call me Jules, then who was I to disagree?

"Yeah, okay." I agreed.

"Well, as I said earlier Jules, would you like something that works quicker and better than that drink in your hands?" He asked.

"Better than the punch?" I asked with a smile.

"Much better." He agreed. "These" He held out a baggy filled with bright blue pills "work like a charm."

"Drugs?" I asked, frowning.

"Hey now, don't say it like _that_." He laughed.

"I don't know." I admitted.

"Look at it this way Jules. You are already drinking before you're twenty-one which could get you arrested seeing as it is illegal, so what's the difference in taking these pills? They work so much faster, you feel so much better, _and_ , the best part, you can take them when you're at home." He smiled.

How did he know I wasn't just a party drinker? Should I ask? Just go with it? My curiosity got the better of me though, so I settled on asking him. "And how do you know I'm not just a social drinker?" I asked.

He all but snorted and shook his head. "You make it obvious. You drink with a purpose. You drink to forget right?" I glared at him. "I only know because I do too. These little pills, they work so much better than the alcohol does. With these in your system, you won't have to think about whatever you're trying to forget. Hell, if you have nightmares, one of these before going to bed gets rid of those."

That caught my attention. No nightmares? Just one before bed? That really was more reasonable than drinking myself enough, and I could do that at home.

"How about this, I give you this baggy of pills, take one today, take some throughout the week, if you like them, I'll get you more." He smiled.

"And what will I have to pay you for these?" I asked.

"Well that's the best part Julie. You won't have to pay me a dime. We can work something out later." He assured me. "So what do you say? Want to try them out?"

Oh what the hell? "Yeah, okay." I agreed.

"Excellent." He chuckled as he handed me the bag. "One of those should do the trick. Snorting it works quicker, but you may want to just take it since it's your first time."

I glanced around nervously, but I doubted anyone, not even my friends, would care if they saw me take the pill. People took pills at these parties all the time. My friends and I were in the minority when it came to not taking some of the pills offered. Even Macy's older brothers and his friends would pop pills occasionally. The most prevalent thing was to smoke a joint or eat some of the brownies that had pot in them, but pills were definitely something nearly as common as well.

Without another thought, I popped that blue pill in my mouth and took a swig of the punch, downing it for good measure, and leaned back in my seat, the effects of the drugs hitting me quickly. My heartrate picked up, and I felt…excited? Happy? I couldn't even describe the first thing I felt, but then I was also calm. I didn't feel as nervous as I usually did. Nothing seemed to matter to me. I felt the need to do something fun, or exciting. Like dancing. I really wanted to dance. "Want to dance?!" I practically shouted at Ash.

He chuckled and nodded, offering me his hand as we headed out to the dance floor. I felt good. Carefree. I didn't even care as Ash's hands were traveling up and down my body, or as he held my breasts. That was something I would usually be freaking out over internally, but I didn't mind today.

We danced together up until Macy pulled me aside to dance with her and some of my friends. "Who is that?" She asked.

"That's Ash." I shrugged.

"Who?" She tilted her head.

"Ash." I shrugged again. "Don't you know him?"

"No. I've never seen him. He must be one of Liam's friends!" She called over the music. "He's hot though!"

"He is, isn't he?" I giggled.

"You're happier than usual!" She called. "More booze than usual?"

"These." I laughed as I held the bag up.

"Is that X!?" She called.

"X?" I asked.

"Ecstasy!" She called back. "Where'd you get that? Liam has threatened people if they try and give it to me!"

"Ash!" I called to her. "Want one?"

She nodded with a smile and I handed her a little blue pill. She popped it in her mouth, not even bothering to swallow any liquid with it. She smiled and I knew she felt the effects of the medication as well, and pulled me more towards the middle of the dance floor, continuing our little dancing spree. We danced up until the last of the guests had trickled out. Liam had gone up to his room with some girl a while back, so it was just the two of us, still energetic as could be. I started doubting these pills would help me sleep, but as soon as Macy and I were on her bed, and my eyes were shut, I drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


	15. Chapter 15: They Made Me Feel

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So you guys are actually getting three chapters today instead of one because I will be out of the country the next two Saturdays and unable to post so I guess enjoy this special treat!

Chapter 15: They Made Me Feel

" _I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."_

― _Edgar Allan Poe_

Letty POV

It had been four days since our party to celebrate the beginning of summer. My baggy still held quite a few of those blue pills. I had wanted to take them, several times, but I was afraid my parents would notice, or that Mia would notice. So I woke to another nightmare today, like I always did.

I went on my run, and got a quick shower before getting dressed and making my way downstairs. Mom and Dad were already eating, and Mia appeared to be cooking instead of Gretchen this morning. I guess she was putting her new found culinary skills to work.

"Morning, Darling." Mom smiled as I took my seat.

"Morning." I half groaned.

"Trouble sleeping again?" Dad asked as I took a swig from my cup of milk.

"I'm fine." I assured him.

"Princess, you really don't have to deal with this all on your own." Dad sighed as he shook his head.

"I'm fine Dad." I half-snapped and instantly shook my head. "Sorry."

"Darling, you need to get some rest." Mom told me as she reached and took my hand. "Maybe we should talk to Dr. Flynn about getting you something to help you sleep. Prazosin has been showing some positive effects in helping people who suffer from nightmares sleep."

"I don't need medication." I told her. "I'm fine."

Besides, I already had medicine I could take if I needed them. "Well, you see Dr. Flynn this morning, so maybe you should at least ask him about it." Dad added.

They certainly didn't know that I sat in silence during my appointments if they were suggesting that. Dr. Flynn was taking this whole confidentiality thing seriously, and for that I was grateful.

"I see him this morning?" I frowned. I always saw him in the afternoons.

"You're going to go see him earlier during summer vacation. It works better if you go in the morning for Mia to take you." Mom offered right as Mia stuck a plate of food in front of me.

"Did you make these croissants yourself?" I asked my sister as I noticed the chocolate drizzled croissant, strawberries, and a Sunnyside up egg.

"I did." She agreed. "This is pretty much what we ate for breakfast in France, well, aside from the egg. I was missing French cuisine."

"Thank you." I smiled at her as she sat to join us.

"What do you two have planned for today after Letty's appointment?" Mom asked.

"I have soccer this afternoon, and then I was hoping to go over to Macy's after dinner?" I asked, slightly nervous they would say no.

"That's fine Darling." Mom agreed.

"I was going to meet up with Lily tonight for dinner actually, and we may go clubbing later tonight." Mia offered nonchalantly to my parents.

"Clubbing?" I laughed.

"Hey little missy, I can go clubbing if I want to." She laughed.

"Is it different here than in France?" I asked her.

"What, clubbing?" She asked.

"Well, yeah." I agreed.

"Somewhat." She nodded. "Clubbing starts really late in France. You probably don't even get to the club until like 12:30AM, but the clubs close at 3:00AM so you really don't stay out too late despite starting later. They don't ID anyone, unless you look exceptionally young. If you're female, you get in for free, there's more dancing in France, and people don't get nearly as drunk as they do here. Obviously, here, we start earlier, stay out later, you have no hope of getting into a club underage, and people are wasted from the beginning."

"Please don't get wasted." Dad sighed.

Mia laughed. "You're never one to prevent one of us from drinking."

"Just make good decisions." Dad smirked.

Hmm, so Macy's parties were essentially like American clubbing. "Sounds interesting." I changed my original statement from 'fun' due to my parents sitting in the room.

"Well we've got about seven years until we have to worry about you clubbing." Mom laughed.

I forced myself to laugh with her as Mia and I made eye contact and I mouthed 'Not a word' to her which she nodded in agreement to.

"Well, Letty, why don't we go out to dinner tonight then?" Dad offered.

"Yeah I'm good with that." I agreed.

The rest of breakfast went off without a hitch, and soon enough, I was in Mia's car on my way to Dr. Flynn's office. We walked inside together and the receptionist offered us a small smile. "He's running a bit behind today ladies." She told us.

"That's fine." Mia assured her. "Do you want me to wait with you?"

"No, that's alright." I told her. "I'll see you later. I'll text you when we finish."

"Okay I'll head out to shop. Need anything?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine Mia."

"Just checking." She smiled before pecking the top of my head and leaving the office.

I sat staring out in the general direction of the water, watching as ferries and sailboats moved across it gracefully. I only broke my attention when I heard the door open.

"Christian?" I asked as I saw my brother.

He just glared at me. "Juliette."

"Hey, what's your problem?" I asked.

"None of your business." He shot right back.

"Are you mad at me over something?" I asked, scrunching up my eyebrows.

"I'm done talking!" He snapped and stormed out.

Dr. Flynn offered a small, apologetic smile and motioned for me to come back. I took my usual seat, and he took his and tilted his head to the side. "Sorry about that encounter you had with your brother. I can't tell you what that was about, but that anger was wrongly taken out on you."

I nodded and glanced down at my book in my lap. "May I?"

"No talking today?" He sighed.

"Nope." I agreed.

"Alright, you may read." He sighed.

I instantly began reading my book. Like I always was when I began reading, I was lost in the world of the characters. _Julius Caesar_ was by one of my favorite authors, William Shakespeare, so I devoured every page with ease.

"Letty, our time is about to be up." Dr. Flynn told me. I looked up at him. "I want to leave you with another passing comment for you to think on."

"Alright." I agreed.

"This one is by Sam Stevens. 'Sometimes you hit a point where you either change or self-destruct' is what this quote says. Take it as you want Letty, but I've treated countless teenagers, just like yourself, some just as stubborn. They do one of two things. They change, and do what it takes to improve their life, or they self-destruct. I don't want to see you go down a path of self-destruction, and neither does your family. I'm not going to force you to speak with me, or do anything you aren't willing to do, but I really would like for you to try this therapy thing out more seriously. I would like for it to actually do as your brother intended for it to, and help you."

I sighed and bit my lip. I didn't want to disappoint my family. Hell, I didn't really even want to disappoint Dr. Flynn. In some ways, this act I was keeping up in therapy would disappoint them, but knowing the truth about my current spot in life would disappoint them even more. So I still had no plans to speak with Dr. Flynn, but I would tell him what I needed to in order to keep him happy.

"I'll consider it." I lied. "May I go?"

"Yes, you may go." He agreed.

I sent a text to Mia as I headed out to the lobby and began reading again while I waited on Mia. She arrived just minutes later and looked at the book in my hands.

"Have you been done awhile?" She asked.

"No. No, I texted you just as soon as we finished." I shook my head.

"Oh. You're a lot further in that book than you were last night." She shrugged as we began walking. "Did you stay up late last night reading?"

"Yeah." I lied as we reached the car.

"Are you okay?" She asked as we got in.

In all honesty, no. I wasn't okay. I hadn't slept well aside from the night I took the pill that Ash offered. I felt empty inside, and like that was never going to change. I could feel myself regressing back to before I had made progress, and that scared me. To top it all off, I was fairly certain that Christian was pissed at me for some reason. Dr. Flynn told me that he wasn't mad at me, and that his anger was not directed towards me, but I still felt like I had done something to him to make him mad. I had no idea what though, not unless Mia mentioned I had been with Macy lately. I couldn't tell Mia any of this though.

"I'm fine." I lied.

"Letty, you can talk to me." She sighed.

Those damn words came back to me. _"You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written — behind your silence and your suffering."_ I shook it off though. I couldn't tell Mia how I really felt. I had to be perfect. I had to live up to the Grey name. Now that Christian, Elliot, and Mia are all successful, I can't be the one that is outwardly struggling. Mia would tell my parents; I knew she would.

"I said I'm fine Mia!" I snapped as I glanced out the window.

"Letty…" She sighed.

"Leave it Mia!" I snapped again.

"Did something happen at therapy?" She asked.

"Oh my God, can you just leave me the hell alone?!" I yelled.

She sighed and shook her head as she began driving. Well, I had certainly disappointed her today. I probably put her in a bad mood for the rest of the afternoon. Oh well, that makes two of us to be pissy.

"I'm going to my room." I told her once she pulled into the garage.

"We'll leave here around 3:00 for your soccer practice. Mom or Dad will pick you up afterwards." She told me as she opened her door and got out of the car without another word.

Yeah, I had definitely pissed my sister off. She usually got over her bad mood fairly quickly, but like I had expected earlier, it would probably last the rest of the day. Maybe Lily would cheer her up. As much as I disliked Lily, she and Mia had a blast together.

I got up to my room and plopped on my bed. I really did feel particularly bad today. The nightmare last night had been a bad one. I couldn't wait to get drunk tonight. I couldn't wait to forget this day had even happened.

A thought crossed my mind. Mom and Dad weren't home. Mia was pissed at me, so she wouldn't be paying much attention to what I was doing. I had a whole baggy of blue pills that could get me to the point where I could forget without having to get wasted. I had practice in a few hours, but if the pills were still in my system, it actually would probably make me play better. I would be more energized.

I flipped the baggy in my hands a few times before I finally opened it and grabbed one of the pills. I popped it in my mouth and swallowed it as quickly as I could, waiting on it to kick in. Waiting to be free.

I found myself trying to do anything but sit around, so I managed to reorganize everything in my room, and in my closet, and then headed outside to the pool. I swam up until Mia came, and called to me telling me I would be late to practice if I didn't hurry up.

I was very quick about getting out of the pool and changing into my practice uniform, and thanks to my sister's speedy driving, I was at practice with two minutes to spare.

"You seem to have perked up a bit." She told me as I began to climb out of the car. "Have a good practice. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." I agreed with a smile.

The pill wasn't working as much as it was earlier, but I still had a bit more energy, and a bit more happiness to go along with it. This didn't go unnoticed by my teammates.

"You seem happier than usual." Our goalie Sarah told me as I pulled on my cleats.

"I've had a good day." I shrugged.

"You're acting like Sammy acts after she gets laid." Lucy, our offensive midfielder had a joking tone about her voice, but her sentence was not a joke. It was a statement.

I couldn't help but laugh and Sammy threw daggers right at me. "I'm just having a good day." I lied as Scotty tossed her pre-wrap to me so I could make a headband.

"Coach is probably going to ruin that." Sailor, our stopper admitted. "He's out for blood today. He's already snapped at us and practice wasn't even close to starting when he did that."

"We'll be running laps for sure." Lauren, our right back agreed.

"I'm fine with that." I shrugged.

"You really are in a good mood." Macy told me as I finished getting my stuff on. "Last here and first ready. I want whatever the hell you're taking."

I smiled and shook my head, playing along, trying to make sure no one on the team found out what exactly I had taken before practice.

"Come on guys, maybe if we warm up without being told we can increase Coach's mood!" I told them excitedly as I began stretching.

Practice started, and I instantly knew that my teammates were correct on Coach being in a bad mood today. He was more snappy than I had ever really seen him, yelling over the smallest things, and making us run laps if we so much as had the wrong look cross our faces.

I think the high was completely worn off after practice, because my bad mood resumed and I knew it wasn't just due to Coach being tough on us today. I was just back to being tired, and anxious, and that feeling of emptiness replaced the earlier happiness I had felt.

"So, you're coming tonight, right?" Macy asked.

"Yeah, of course." I agreed.

"So is the team." She told me as she glanced to make sure no one was looking. "You don't think you could hook us up with anymore of those magic little blue pills, do you?" She whispered.

"I can give you one right now if you want." I shrugged. "And yeah, I think I can get you some tonight if you want."

"I shouldn't take one right now. Liam and I are meeting our family in Portland for dinner right after this, and I can't risk them noticing, but I'll take you up on that tonight." She agreed. "Do I need to pay you back for them?"

I shook my head. "I'm getting them for free I think."

I wasn't sure about that. I'm pretty sure I remembered Ash saying something about a payment plan being worked out, but it's not like I didn't have enough money saved up to afford the pills if I did end up paying for them. I didn't need to become a legit dealer or whatever making someone pay me for them.

"Alright, cool." She agreed and glared towards the parking lot when she heard a horn honk. "That's Liam telling me to haul my ass to his car. I'll see you tonight okay?"

"Yeah." I agreed as she hugged me and jogged over to the parking lot.

As soon as I had my cleats and shin guards off, and my flip flops on, I made my way to the parking lot where Mom was waiting on me.

"Hello Darling" she smiled "good practice?"

"Not really." I admitted. "Coach was out for blood today or something."

"Maybe he's getting a little stressed with your tournament coming up." She offered as I buckled my seatbelt.

"Maybe so. Or, if you believe Nicole's theory, he's not getting laid." I laughed.

"Letty!" Mom gasped through a small laugh.

"McKinley agrees with her." I shrugged. "She said guys always get mad when they aren't getting any."

Hey, maybe that's why Christian was pissed this morning. Maybe he and Ana weren't having enough sex. I cringed at the thought that crossed my mind though, of my brother's sex life, and shook the thought out of my brain immediately.

"How about the rest of your day?" She continued.

"Did Mia say something?" I sighed.

"She just said you were in a bad mood after your session with John this morning." Mom told me. "Did something happen to upset you?"

"No." I lied. "No, I was just tired. I got a nap" another lie "and then reorganized my room and my closet and swam for the rest of the day. I'm fine now."

"Well, you've got a bit of a surprise for tonight." Mom admitted as she pulled onto the interstate.

"A surprise?" I asked.

"If you get ready for dinner quick enough, before our 7:30 reservations, your father and I were thinking of finding an empty parking lot to let you practice driving. You're set to get your permit in just under three weeks, so we thought you might like to practice." She smiled.

"Wait, seriously?!" I asked. I had wanted for them to let me practice driving for ages but hadn't gotten to yet.

"Only if you can get ready quick enough." She agreed.

"I'll get ready faster than I ever have!" I assured her. "I really get to practice?!"

"Yes." Mom laughed. "Dad's going to want for you to practice in the Volvo though."

The Volvo was one of the older cars, that was very rarely used. It was a CRV style car, and probably the least valuable of my parents' car collection. I assumed Dad wanted me to practice in it in case I ran into or over anything.

"I don't care!" I assured her. "You know how bad I've wanted to practice!"

"Yes I do." She smiled. "I also know that Elliot has already let you practice once."

"He told you?" I frowned.

Elliot had taken me out driving in a neighborhood back in April. I had begged and begged and my older brother finally caved. I managed to knock down two mailboxes though, so we hadn't gone out after that.

"We've known since the day we got calls from Mr. Anderson and Mrs. Preston about mailboxes." She laughed with a headshake.

"It was Elliot's fault, he distracted me!" I assured her. "I'll do better this time, I swear."

"Well, your father is a much better teacher when it comes to driving than Elliot, so I'm sure you will do better." She told me.

"I'm surprised you weren't mad he took me." I admitted.

"Sometimes you have to pick and choose your battles with your children Letty." She told me.

As soon as we got home, I got showered, dried my hair, did my makeup, and got a dress and heels on in under fifteen minutes. Mom and Dad were both ready by the time I was down the stairs too, both waiting for me.

"Ready?" Dad asked.

I nodded in agreement and we all piled into the old Volvo and Dad drove us out to a church parking lot, and we switched seats. Dad got into the passenger seat, Mom behind him, and I got into the driver's seat. I had to scoot the seat way up for my feet to be close enough to touch the pedals and Dad instructed me to make sure I could see out of all the mirrors before starting the car again.

My little lesson with Dad went much better than with Elliot. I didn't hit a single curb, sign, and thankfully none of the concrete walls that I had to drive beside at one point. Driving was rather enjoyable, it cleared my head. I sighed when we had to get back into our regular seats, Dad driving, Mom in the passenger seat, and me in the back, but perked up when I learned we were going to eat up in the space needle.

"You did well driving Letty." Dad told me as we were starting our appetizers.

"You're better than Elliot is at teaching." I told him.

"I've had practice." Dad chuckled.

"Are you excited for the Coping Together Ball on Saturday?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, it'll be fun." I agreed. "Rocklin is always a fun 'date'."

"How's his mother doing?" Dad asked.

I sighed. Rocklin's mother had recently been diagnosed not only with breast cancer, but also with ovarian cancer. They had done round after round of chemotherapy and radiation, and the doctors had told Rocklin's father just a few days ago that there wasn't anything else they could do. Rocklin's mother was going to die, it wasn't a case of _if_ the cancer won, it was a case of _when_ would the cancer win. The doctor estimated she would have until the end of summer at the very most, and thought she would make it at least another month.

"She's doing a lot worse." I admitted. "The doctor told them she's not going to make it. He said she'll hopefully make it to the end of July, and at most, she could make it until the end of August. I just talked to Rocklin about it the other day."

"I'm so sorry to hear that." Mom sighed. "How's he taking it?"

"As well as can be expected I suppose." I shrugged. "His sister was supposed to backpack through Europe this summer but she's come home. They're going to get hospice set up so she can spend her last days in her own home with her family. Rocklin…he's….well, I don't know."

"Losing a parent at such a young age is very difficult." Dad nodded.

"It's causing a great deal of distance between him and his father. Their family is sort of falling apart and it's hard to watch. They've always been so close." I sighed.

"It'll all be alright Darling." Mom told me. "We should have Rocklin over for dinner one night soon. It may do him some good to get away from his family for an evening. As much as he wants to be around his mother, he could probably use a break."

"I think Saturday will be good for him." I agreed with her. "I'm going to see if he wants to come over while I'm getting ready. I know he won't want to do his nails and all of that, but maybe he could hang out with you Dad?"

Rocklin and my father had always gotten along. Even when we were younger, Dad would always take the two of us sailing with him and Mom, and Rocklin sort of idolized my father. He did especially now that he wanted to be an attorney one day.

"Of course. I may be a little busy if your mother puts me to work, but I could use a hand from a strong teenage boy." He chuckled.

Dinner continued, and after desert, Mom and Dad dropped me off at Macy's. I sighed when I saw multiple cars already in the driveway.

"The team must be here." I offered as an explanation.

"Oh, is it a soccer sleepover?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, we wanted to get together for a night of movies and board games before Vancouver and running." I lied easily. "We'll probably sleep in tomorrow, so I'll text you guys when we wake up?"

"Alright Princess, have fun." Dad smiled.

I quickly left the car and got in the house, grateful that whoever was here was already in the basement. Macy greeted me, already tipsy, and pulled me up to her room.

"Here, borrow this dress!" She slurred as she tossed a strapless, tight, white dress towards me. I quickly slipped it on and she grinned. "Do you have the pills?"

"Yeah, umm, here." I offered her one, as I held the other I had pulled out in my hand.

"Want to snort them? Apparently that makes them work fasterrr." Macy laughed.

"You do you Boo, I'm just going to swallow mine." I smiled as she began crushing up the pill.

I took mine as I watched Macy snort hers, cringing anytime it went up her nose. As we walked down the stairs, my heart began beating faster and faster again, and by the time I took my first drink of the night, the pill was already working its magic.

Sometime during my dancing, Ash pulled me to him, and started dancing with me. "I see you're enjoying yourself."

"You were right. Those pills work pretty well." I slurred as I licked my lips.

"Well, I have more for you to last you through the next week, but more than last time. I've got you an assortment of sorts, and you can tell me which ones you like the best." He held up a baggy of different colored pills. "Just remember the color or size and I'll give you more of them next time."

"I'm just going to try some of these now." I giggled as I popped two more in my mouth.

If I thought the high from the little blue pill was good, I had no idea what a good high felt like. I was walking on clouds as I danced with whoever the hell wanted to dance with me. I didn't care who I was making out with, or who's hands wound up on my chest. I didn't care how many boners were pressed against my ass, or who pulled my hair back. I didn't care about anything.

Even in my high, intoxicated state, I knew this night was going to change my life. Those pills, they did everything I had ever tried to make the alcohol do for me. They made me feel normal. They made me feel happy. They made me feel alive. They made me feel free. I wasn't numb anymore. They simply made me feel.


	16. Chapter 16: Coping Together Part 1

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: This was originally supposed to be combined with the next chapter, but I got way over the average word limit so I split it into two parts BUT I will be uploading them together so just hang tight for a second. The ending is kind of bad because of it but oh well, you win some, you lose some.

Chapter 16: Coping Together Part 1

" _Masquerades disclose the reality of souls. As long as no one sees who we are, we can tell the most intimate details of our life."_

― _Fernando Pessoa_

Letty POV

I woke up earlier than usual on Saturday. I had to start my morning routine earlier, so I could begin getting ready for the Coping Together Ball earlier and be presentable by the time the event began.

By the time I got back from my run, there was already a ton of people setting up for the Ball, Mom overseeing everything with the event coordinator we always hired. I dodged Mom so I wouldn't have to go do anything aside from shower and made my way up to my room.

I took a longer shower than usual, making sure I was exceptionally clean and lathered up in lotion as well. It always made me feel a bit fancier for these events. I opted out of doing my makeup right now, Mia would just redo it later for the event, and I threw my hair up into a messy bun before heading downstairs.

"Can we go get Rocklin?" I asked Dad as I grabbed an apple from the kitchen counter.

"After you eat." He agreed, gesturing to a plate of food left on the table.

I nodded in agreement seeing as I was rather hungry, and sat down to eat the eggs, sausage, fresh fruit, and yogurt that had been left for me. After I was done, Dad and I escaped and made our way to Rocklin's house.

Dad walked up to the door with me once we got there. I think he wanted to speak to Rocklin's father briefly, and I smiled when my best friend opened the door.

"Hey Letty, Carrick." He shook Dad's hand before pecking my cheek.

"Ah, Carrick." Rocklin's father greeted my father with a handshake.

"Laurence." Dad offered a warm smile.

"I was just finishing getting my stuff together Letty, want to help?" Rocklin asked.

"Yeah. We'll be right down Dad." I told my father who was speaking softly with Rocklin's father about something.

"Alright kids." He agreed.

Rocklin had a garment bag laying on his bed as well as a shoebox and a smaller box. He was spending the night tonight, so I assumed he was just getting his things for tomorrow together.

"How are you holding up?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I love having Mom home, trust me, I do, but it's just…hard now."

"Hard?" I asked softly.

"Before, if I wanted to, I could pretend everything was okay when I was at home. I could pretend like Mom was on a business trip or something. Now though, she's here all the time, and the reality that she's going to die is setting in. I'm scared Letty." He whispered as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Hey." I sighed as I wiped it away with my finger. "It's going to be okay. I know it sucks, but you've got me here for you. My whole family actually. We're going to help you through all of this."

"She's in pain." He admitted softly. "That's the worst part. It's selfish to want her to hold out while she's in so much pain."

"It's not selfish to want your Mom to stay alive." I told him gently.

"Can we stop talking about this?" He asked as he tossed a shirt my way to fold. He never could learn how to properly fold a shirt.

"Yeah, alright." I agreed.

We decided to talk about the event instead, and moved onto the Mariners as we made our way down the stairs carrying all of Rocklin's things. We put his stuff by the door before Rocklin took me to his parents' room. My father was sitting by the bed, talking and laughing with Rocklin's mother. Madeline, Rocklin's older sister, was sitting beside her mother in the bed, reading a book, while his father sat on the edge of the book.

"Ready?" Dad asked us.

"Yeah." Rocklin agreed.

"Letty, you're looking just as beautiful as always." Rocklin's mother smiled at me.

"Thank you Willa." I smiled as I moved to take her outstretched hand.

"Make sure my son is an impeccable dancer tonight." She smiled.

"Well, impeccable is asking a little much…" I joked.

She giggled as she squeezed my hand. "You'll have to take lots of pictures for me."

"We will." I promised her.

"Bye Mom." Rocklin smiled as he kissed his mother's forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you Sweetheart." She told him softly.

"I love you too Mom." He agreed.

We left after that, and I got in the back with Rocklin after getting his things loaded in the car. I noticed a single tear trickle down his cheek and it broke my heart. He never cried.

"Hey, it's alright." I whispered as he wiped the tear away quickly.

"Sorry." He mumbled as Dad glanced in the rearview mirror for a second. "It's just…she always got excited to come to this one in particular. It was one of her favorites."

"It's alright to be upset Rocklin." Dad spoke softly. "You're going through an exceptionally hard time, it's normal to be upset by things like this."

Rocklin nodded as he looked out the window. Oh my poor heart was throbbing at the thought of how bad my best friend was hurting.

When we got home, Mia dragged me upstairs and I sent an apologetic look to Rocklin as Mom greeted him while I was being pulled against my will.

"Mia, we have _plenty_ of time!" I groaned.

"I'm just going to do your nails right now so they're dry before lunch!" She assured me.

I groaned but let my sister force me to sit on the floor of her room on a towel while she instantly got to work on my fingernails.

I actually liked what Mia decided to do. She did all of my nails a very faint lavender with a silver sequin French tip, but my ring finger on both hands were painted all silver sequin, making it have the "party nail" effect.

As promised, I was able to escape as soon as she had my toenails silver and I made my way to find Rocklin who was laughing with my father.

"What are you two laughing about?" I asked them.

"We were just talking about the most ridiculous things that have happened in the court room that your dad has witnessed." Rocklin told me as he looked at my nails. "Very sparkly."

"I swear, hearing you trying to sound enthusiastic about girl things will never get old." I laughed as he wrapped an arm around me. "Where's Mom?"

"She's in the kitchen helping Gretchen make subs for lunch." Dad told me. "I thought cooking could make her a little less stressed, even if it is just subs. Well, subs and soup seeing as that's the only way you'll eat them."

"It's true!" Rocklin laughed. "Even at school she will go and find soup if they have subs."

"Hey, it's good!" I defended myself as Mia joined us.

"What's good?" She asked with a smile.

"Subs dipped in soup." I told her.

"You _still_ do that?" She asked.

"It's not that weird! I know plenty of people who do it too." I smiled.

"Lunch is ready!" Mom called from the kitchen.

We all made our way to her and took our seats. She did seem a little less wound up than she had this morning. No matter how many of these my parents hosted, Mom always got a little bit stressed at the beginning of the preparations.

We had Reuben's, which I knew was Rocklin's favorite type of sub, and I assumed Mom made these on purpose. To go with them, it was French onion soup, which happened to be a favorite of mine, especially paired with this particular sandwich.

As we ate, small talk was made as always, and Mia excused herself early to get a head start on her makeup and to do her own nails. "Rocklin, how have you been holding up lately?" Mom asked softly once it was just the four of us.

"I'm alright." He offered softly. "It's just been hard. I love having Mom home, I do, but…it's harder to be in denial when I see her so much. I just don't know what to do."

"What do you mean?" Mom asked gently.

"Like how to act around her. She seems like she wants to be treated normally, but knowing she's going to die soon…" He trailed off, a single tear trickling down his cheek again.

"Oh Darling." Mom sighed as she got up from the table and moved to kneel by Rocklin, taking him in her arms. "It's alright Sweetheart."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying this much…" He began.

"No Rocklin, don't apologize for showing your emotions. It's only natural." Dad corrected him softly.

"We just had a tough night last night." He whispered. "She was sick and having trouble breathing. They almost had to take her back to the hospital."

"I'm so sorry Darling." Mom told him as she held him closer. "If there's anything at all any of us can do, you just say the word."

"Thank you Grace." He smiled. "It means a lot that I have you guys for support."

The conversation turned lighter after my mother had comforted Rocklin, and before long, Mia was dragging me upstairs, Rocklin in tow as well, and ordering him to go get ready and pulling me into my room where she had set up all her makeup.

I groaned. If she wasn't even using _my_ makeup, this was going to take a while. "Oh don't give me that look!" She playfully swatted my arm.

"What are you going to do to my face?" I sighed.

She giggled. "It's going to be a surprise. So suck it up buttercup, and prepare to look absolutely stunning for the evening."

I smiled a bit and watched as Mia began getting powder onto a brush. I did as she said, opening and closing my eyes, looking to the left, to the right, up, down, smiling, frowning, and a solid half hour later, she clapped her hands excitedly.

"Let me see!" I exclaimed.

"Not yet!" She disagreed. "Let's do your hair first so you get the full effect!"

I sighed and nodded as she began pulling my hair out of the braid and began brushing it. Another half hour later, she squealed in delight again.

"That noise Mia." I joked.

"Oh hush. You look perfect Letty. Absolutely perfect." She smiled.

I accepted the mirror she offered and smiled when I saw my makeup. She had down a sort of smoky eye but with white, silver, and purple, and gave me thick angel wings with the black eyeliner. My eyelashes looked almost fake with how well she had curled them and coated them in mascara. My lips were a pale pink, but it went well with the eye makeup. She held a mirror behind my hair so I could see my hair which was equally as perfect. She had curled it, and put it in a flawless waterfall braid. I had to admit it, I was pleased with how well she had done.

"Mia…wow." I all but gasped.

"Right?" She giggled. "We've only got a half hour before people begin arriving, so let's get you dressed and I can show you the mask I got you in Paris."

I smiled and nodded as we made our way to my closet and I pulled on the beautiful purple gown and the pair of silver heels I had chosen to go with it. As soon as I was all zipped in, I followed Mia to her room, waited for her to get ready, and she came back with a box which she passed to me. Before I opened the box though, I had to take a minute to simply take in how beautiful Mia looked in her pale pink chiffon gown.

"You look beautiful Mia." I smiled.

"Thank you Letty." She smiled. "Now, open that box."

I did as she said and gasped at how gorgeous the mask was. It was mostly a light silver and lavender mixed together, but purple sparkles covered it around the eyes and forehead and made designs on the mask. There was a large purple flower and feathers on the right side of the mask, and lavender ribbons were meant to hold it together in the back.

"It's perfect Mia." I smiled.

"I'll put it on you but you'll have to help me with mine." She smiled.

Once Mia and I were ready, we made our way from her room to find Rocklin. Mia was wanting to make sure he had styled his hair or something.

"Wow Letty." His eyes went wide when he saw me. "You look hot!"

"Given you're her best friend, I'm going to choose not to let that make me feel uncomfortable." Dad chuckled as he walked in the room, Mom in tow. Mom looked beautiful in her shimmering mint green gown.

"You two look gorgeous my lovely little ladies." Mom told Mia and I as she gave us gentle hugs.

"When will your date be arriving Mia?" I asked my sister.

"I told him to arrive before the other guests, so it should be anytime now." She smiled.

As if he actually heard us, there was a knock on the door and Mia squealed that Sean was here. Shortly after we greeted him, my grandparents on my mother's side arrived. Dad's parents were unable to travel out for the event this year, but I adored my mother's parents.

"Grandmother, Grandfather." I smiled as I earned a kiss on the cheek from each of them.

"You look beautiful Letty." Grandmother told me with a wide smile. "So grown up."

"It's wonderful to see you again Mr. Trevelyan." I heard Rocklin greet my grandfather, earning a look from my grandfather on the title. "Err, Theodore."

"We should get to the marquee and wait on the arrival of the rest of the guests." Mom decided as the respective men offered their arms to their dates.

We greeted each and every guest as they began to trickle in, but as soon as the majority of my friends had arrived with their parents, my friends and I escaped to talk before dinner.

"You guys all look great." I told my friends.

"You look amazing Letty!" Macy exclaimed. "That mask is beautiful."

"Mia got it in Paris." I offered with a shrug.

"Is that Christian and Ana?" Rocklin asked me.

"We should go greet them. I'll see you guys on the dance floor alright?" I told my friends as I took Rocklin's hand and headed over to where Mia and Sean had already joined Ana and Christian.

"Ana, you look beautiful!" I gasped when I took in the sight of my brother's girlfriend. She was in a satin silver gown, and a beautiful mask, and for lack of better words, was stunning.

"Thank you." She blushed a little.

"Christian." I tested out. I hadn't spoken to him since I ran into him at Dr. Flynn's office.

"Letty." He offered a small smile as he kissed my cheek.

Whatever his mood was, it was apparently over now.

"You must come meet my friends. None of them believe Christian has a girlfriend." Mia giggled.

I groaned. I was going to have to deal with Lily. Mia's other friends in attendance were fine, but Lily would have something to say about Ana, I knew it. She would be jealous of any girl who caught Christian's attention.

After a rather snide comment from Lily about thinking Christian was gay, and Christian successfully getting Ana to escape, she met my friends, and then Christian took her around to meet everyone else. Rocklin and I stuck to them.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" The master of ceremonies interrupted Ana from her conversation with Eccles, which I think she was grateful for "Please take your seats. Dinner is served."

Rocklin and I followed Ana and Christian back into the large marquee. It was decorated as it always was, three huge chandeliers, thirty or so tables, crystal glasses, crisp white linen table cloths and chair covers, and pale pink peonies for the centerpieces.

Our table was in the same place it always was, the center. Mom and Mia were already sitting and seemingly in a deep conversation with Sean. Mom was looking much less stressed than before the guests arrived. She always composed herself impeccably in public.

"Ana, how delightful to see you again! And looking so beautiful too." Mom greeted Ana with a warm smile spread across her face.

"Mother." Christian greeted our mom as he kissed both of her cheeks.

"Oh, Christian, so formal!" She teasingly scolded my older brother as Rocklin pulled my chair out for me to sit down.

Grandmother and Grandfather joined us next, both delighted to see their youngest grandson.

Christian smiled a tiny little smile for our grandparents. "Grandmother, Grandfather, may I introduce Anastasia Steele?"

"Oh, he's finally found someone! How wonderful and so pretty! Well I do hope you make an honest man of him." Grandmother gushed as she took one of Ana's hands.

"Mother, don't embarrass Ana." Mom came to poor, blushing Ana's rescue.

"Ignore the silly old cot, m'dear." Grandfather took her hand with a smile. "She thinks because she's so old, she has a God-given right to say whatever nonsense pops into that woolly head of hers."

Lance and Janine, Mom's best friends, are the last to join our table, Dad not with us yet, but that was due to him giving his opening little speech.

The hiss of the microphone made everyone shut up and Dad's voice sounded over the microphone from the small stage. "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our annual charity ball. I hope that you enjoy what we have laid out for you tonight and that you'll dig deep into your pockets to support the fantastic wok that our team does with Coping Together. As you know, it's a cause that is very close to my wife's hart, and mine."

That reason was due to my brother and I. The organization formed before I was adopted, but Mom and Dad got even more passionate about supporting it once I was adopted and more of my past was revealed to them. I glanced up and saw my brother and Ana looking at each other, Christian with a smirk on his face. It made me a little uncomfortable though, so I quickly looked away.

"I'll hand you over now to our master of ceremonies. Please be seated, and enjoy." Dad finished which caused polite applause to follow, and chatter started up again.

Ana is between Christian and Grandfather. My grandmother is on Grandfather's other side, then Mia beside her, Sean on her other side, Rocklin beside Sean, me beside Rocklin, and an empty seat for Dad beside me, with Mom on his other side, and Lance and Janine beside her, finishing up the table.

"Good to see you again, Ana." Dad greeted Ana just as warmly as Mom had.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please nominate a table head." The MC called to us all.

"Ooo-me, me!" Mia began bouncing up and down enthusiastically in her seat, causing my whole family to roll their eyes.

"In the center of the table you will find an envelope," the MC continues "Would everyone find, beg, borrow, or steal a bill of the highest denomination you can manage, write your name on it, and place it inside the envelope. Table heads, please guard these envelopes carefully. We will need them later."

Dad passed Rocklin and I each a hundred dollar bills, which we quickly scribbled on and put in the envelope Mia passed around.

Mom and Dad agreed that Rocklin and I could have wine when the waiter arrived, so we thanked them and immediately sipped it once it was in front of us.

Rocklin and I were invested in conversation with Dad, while Grandfather was speaking with Ana. He had really taken a liking to her. It seemed odd without Elliot at the table, saying borderline inappropriate things that would have Rocklin and I trying to hide our laughter.

I think of all of us, Sean, Ana, and I were the quietest. I think Mia and Grandmother were probably the most vocal of the table, but everyone else just held conversations. Rocklin was very interested as Christian and Lance talked about a device Christian's company is developing, inspired by Schumacher's principle Small is Beautiful. I was bored by this though, so I decided to try and speak with Ana.

"Did you have a good visit with your mother?" I asked softly.

"I did." She agreed. "Savannah is always beautiful."

"What's she like?" I asked her.

"My mother?" She offered.

I nodded.

"She's lovely. A little eccentric, but well-meaning. I was raised mostly by my adoptive father Ray. My biological father died when I was young." She told me.

"So you and your father get along well?" I smiled.

"He and I were very close when I was growing up." She offered a smile back. "You would probably get along well with him. He's a big soccer fan, and Christian tells me you are quite the soccer player."

"I'm not that good." I offered a small smile.

"Oh, she's being modest." Christian chuckled. "She's wonderful at soccer."

"I've got a tournament in Vancouver coming up soon. Maybe you could convince Christian to bring you for one of the games. It's a wonderful sail to get there. I'm trying to convince Dad that's how we should travel." I glanced to my father.

"The weather looks like it'll be nice enough right now, we just can't decide until closer to the day we would have to leave." Dad chuckled.

"So you like sailing?" Ana offered as everyone got back to their conversations.

"It's one of my favorite things to do. Has Christian taken you out on _The Grace_ yet?" I asked her.

" _The Grace_?" She asked.

"It's his boat. It's beautiful." I smiled.

Our food interrupted that conversation, as well as the vast amount of people coming to shake Christian's hand. I swear he had become more popular than Dad at this thing.

"Ana, will you help in the auction?" I heard Mia ask Ana.

If it hadn't been for the food I had just put in my mouth, I would have interrupted and told Ana not to agree to that, but before I had the chance, I heard Ana respond. "Of course."

I bit my lip. This was not going to go well. Christian would probably be pissed off. I shook it off though, and turned my attention to dessert. The MC asked for our envelopes and Mom pulled out the winning bill. It happened to belong to Sean, and he was awarded the silk-wrapped basket.

"If you'll excuse me." I heard Ana murmur to Christian.

"Do you need the powder room?" He asked her, earning a nod. "I'll show you."

All of the men, Rocklin included, stood when Ana stood.

"No, Christian! You're not taking Ana—I will." Mia disagreed.

Before Christian could say anything else, Mia was on her feet and walking with Mia. Christian didn't seem pleased by this. I cringed at the thought of what he had hoped to do once they reached the powder room.

Ana seemed so relieved when she arrived back from the powder room. Had she held it the entire time we were eating? I smiled when Christian took Ana's hand in hers right as Dad began talking about Coping Together while a card of auction prices was passed around.

This was my favorite part. I always looked forward to the auction. I found it very entertaining to watch people try and win things. I wasn't allowed to partake yet, but one day I would be allowed to. I smiled, looking forward to the rest of the evening.


	17. Chapter 17: Coping Together Part 2

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

Chapter 17: Coping Together Part 2

" _Mob mentality is like wildfire. It spreads fast and hard, and suddenly you find yourself surrounded by really smart people making really bad decisions."_

― _Craig Schaefer, The Living End_

Letty POV

The auction was going on uneventfully up until the bidding moved to Christian's place in Aspen. It was up to twenty thousand dollars when I began paying more attention.

"Going once, going twice" the MC calls.

"Twenty-four thousand dollars!" I heard Ana's voice.

Every single person at our table turned to stare at her in shocked amazement. I mean Ana was a recent college grad, and not from old money. I doubted she just had that laying around.

"Twenty-four thousand dollars, to the lovely lady in silver, going once, going twice…sold!" The MC finished.

I wonder how much that champagne had been affecting Ana. Based on her current facial expression, I think she was shocked at her bidding, and winning, something for that amount of money. Christian either looked amused or angry, I wasn't sure which, as he whispered something to Ana that I couldn't hear.

The final item to be bid on is a week at our lake house in Montana, which is sold for one hundred ten thousand dollars, which caused an eruption of applause.

"Ana! It's time!" Mia called.

Ana looked at her, clearly confused. The poor girl had no idea what she had gotten herself into by agreeing to help Mia.

"Time for what?" Ana asked.

"The First Dance Auction. Come on!" Mia stood and held her hand to Mia.

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw Christian scowling at Mia as Mia pulled Ana away from Christian after he said something quietly to Ana that I couldn't hear again. "Come on Ana!" Mia nagged as she dragged poor Ana with her.

Mia wanted me to start doing the auction with her. She had asked me last year, but I had told her I wouldn't do it. I didn't like the idea that whoever wanted to pay for me was allowed to dance with me, allowed to hold me. it didn't sit well with me.

"Mia suckered her into it." I informed my brother once they were away.

"Gentlemen, the highlight of the evening!" The MC boomed over the chatter, interrupting Christian before he could respond to me. "The moment you've all been waiting for! These twelve lovely ladies have all agreed to auction their first dance to the highest bidder!"

Poor Ana. She looked so very shocked up there beside Mia. I turned to Christian. "I'm assuming you'll win anyway, but save the poor girl."

Mom laughed as I plead with my brother and glanced to Ana. "Yes, I don't believe Mia told her this is what she was volunteering for." Mom shook her head.

"Now, gentlemen, pray gather round, and take a good look at what could be yours for the first dance. Twelve comely and compliant wenches."

Ana looked horrified as about twenty men made their way to the stage area, Christian included in those men, but she seemed to relax when she caught his eyes.

"Ladies and gentlemen, in the tradition of the masquerade we shall maintain the mystery behind the masks and stick to first names only. First up we have the lovely Jada. Jada speaks fluent Japanese, is a qualified fighter pilot, and an Olympic gymnast…hmm." The MC winked, clearly none of those things were true about Jada, but the facts the MC gave out seldom were. "Gentleman, what am I bid?"

Jada was won for a thousand dollars, and I saw Ana and Mia chatting. Hopefully Mia was calming her poor nerves. The next girl, Jill, was won for four thousand dollars.

"And now, allow me to introduce the beautiful Ana." Ana had that 'oh shit' look on her face as she had to make her way to center stage. Our entire table was watching her, either amused, or with sympathy for the shy, sweet girl who had captured Christian's heart.

"Beautiful Ana plays six musical instruments, speaks fluent Mandarin, and is keep on yoga…well, gentlemen—" The MC didn't have the chance to finish his sentence before I heard my brother's voice.

"Ten thousand dollars." He called.

"Fifteen!" I hear another familiar voice.

I smirked. Oh Dr. Flynn, pushing my brother's buttons.

"Well, gentlemen! We have high rollers in the house this evening." The MC was very excited as he beamed at Christian.

"Twenty." Christian countered.

"Twenty-five." Dr. Flynn countered again.

"One hundred thousand dollars." Christian's voice was loud and clear and silenced the whole marquee in shock. Well, Christian wasn't that good at sharing…

"One-hundred thousand dollars for the lovely Ana! Going once…going twice…sold!" The MC sounded so triumphant, only followed by a huge round of applause.

My parents looked so amused by my brother's display as we watched him help Ana off the stage. "Wow." Rocklin chuckled.

"He never was good at sharing." I shrugged.

This made everyone at the table start laughing and I smiled as I sipped on my wine. After the auction, I escaped to find my friends again. They were all amused by my brother's display again, but we escaped into the house to get away for a moment.

"You guys, I want to get fucking wasted." Macy groaned.

"Yeah, same." Alex nodded.

"We can't get wasted." Rocklin sighed.

"It would be risky with the parents around." Calvin agreed.

"Why don't we all just take some pills?" Macy asked me.

"Pills?" Matty asked.

"Um, yeah." I shrugged nervously.

"What pills?" Rocklin asked.

"It's nothing really." I shrugged, glaring at Macy.

"It would be less obvious than being drunk, right?" Macy asked. "They would just assume we were in a good mood because of the ball."

"Hold up, I think we should know what kind of drugs before we say yes or no." Ryleigh halted the conversation.

"Yeah, I thought you were against drugs." Sammy added.

"You barely even eat brownies at the parties." Logan continued.

"Well, these are…they work well." I shrugged.

"What are _these_?" Scotland asked.

"It's um, ecstasy." I shrugged.

"Ecstasy?" Rocklin frowned.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"And you have some like right now?" Matty asked.

"Yeah, I have some. And some other stuff, but I only know what the ecstasy looks like." I told him. "So far it works best anyway."

"You have enough to get us all high?" Logan continued.

"Well, yeah." I agreed. "It's up in my room."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Macy asked.

We all made our way up the stairs towards my room, and came face to face with my brother and Ana, both looking a little flustered. Ew, what the hell had they been up to?

"You all are up to something." Christian groaned.

"No we're not!" We all snapped nervously together, earning a suspicious look from my brother.

"We're fine Christian." I told him. "We just wanted to speak privately for a minute. It's something rather personal that we would rather not have others overhear."

"Fine, but I still think you all are up to something. Ana and I have to go to the dance floor though, so you guys just stay out of trouble." He told us.

"We will." I lied.

As soon as we were in my room, I locked the door. I didn't want anyone walking in on this. I found my stash of the drugs, hidden very deep in my underwear drawer and tossed it on the bed. Macy opened it and passed out the blue pills.

"Macy got it in her system fasted by snorting it, but it works either way." I told them.

"I don't know about this." Rocklin mumbled.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." I assured them. "I was weary too, but honestly, it's not that different from drinking. They're both illegal, this just makes you feel better."

In the end, Rocklin, Ryleigh, and Alex wound up not taking their blue pills, and handed them back, but everyone else took them and we made our way down to the marquee again. When we arrived, the first dance was over, and I noticed Dr. Flynn dancing with Ana. I was too high to really care about that though.

I started by dancing with Rocklin who waltzed with ease to the music with me. After the song ended, Dad cut in, and smiled down at me. I did my best to look…well, not stoned, as I looked up at him to and smiled.

"You truly do look beautiful tonight Princess." He smiled as we danced together.

"Thank you." I smiled. "You're not looking half-bad for an old man."

"You seem…happy." He offered.

"I am happy." I agreed. "I have my friends here, everyone is having fun, Christian is happy. Everything is just good Dad."

We didn't talk much more, and I was passed off to Grandfather who discussed my upcoming soccer tournament with me as we danced together, and then I was passed off to none other than Dr. Flynn.

"Dr. Flynn." I greeted.

"John tonight Letty. It's a gathering, not an appointment." He chuckled.

"John." I corrected him. "I see you met Ana."

"She's lovely." He agreed.

"She's been good for Christian." I told him.

"Yes, she has indeed been good for your brother." He nodded. "I'm assuming young Rocklin is still just a friend?"

"Can you still call us young now that we're about to be sophomores in high school?" I asked.

"The older you get, the older I get." He chuckled.

After that song was over, I danced with Alex, then Matty, then Logan, and then Calvin. It was during this dance that Christian cut in.

"May I have this dance?" He asked my friend.

"Of course." Calvin agreed before stepping away.

"I'm surprised you left Ana." I told him.

"She's dancing with Grandfather." He chuckled.

"So you're not mad at me anymore?" I asked.

He frowned as he studied me. "Are you talking about Monday?"

"Yeah, you didn't even call me Letty. It was Juliette." I sighed.

"That wasn't supposed to be directed at you." He assured me.

"So what was it about then?" I asked.

"Ana and I had a fight." He frowned.

"It must have been one hell of a fight. You were being a total ass." I told him.

"I apologize." He sighed. "I never meant to make you feel like I was angry with you."

"It's fine." I finally told him.

"Just so you know, you are looking beautiful tonight. Less like my baby sister and more like a young lady." He groaned.

"I have to grow up sometime." I smiled.

"That you do." He agreed.

After Christian and I finished dancing, I danced with several of my friends' fathers before going back to Rocklin. He had a disbelieving smirk on his face as we danced.

"What?" I asked.

"It's a miracle no one has noticed that any of you are high." He whispered.

"I'm trying to hide it." I laughed.

"It's not working very well. I think they're all blaming the wine and champagne you all were given on your cheery moods." He chuckled.

We danced all the way until midnight, and then we gathered with everyone at the shore to watch the fireworks. They were always one of my favorite parts of tonight.

The drugs were starting to wear off, but I wasn't planning on taking anymore tonight. The music started and two rockets soared up into the sky, and exploded with a boom, revealing a kaleidoscope of color.

For the first time since I was a small child, terror from the loud sound filled my body. The overwhelming need to fight or flight hit me like a ton of bricks.

"I'm going to go to the restroom." I lied to Rocklin before practically bolting away from the shore and in the general direction of the house.

Once I was inside, away from everyone who was thankfully still watching the fireworks, I collapsed and leaned against the wall. I couldn't catch my breath. The memories were all flooding back into my brain about the night Woman shot Man, and then shot herself. I was so afraid, and that same fear was hitting me now.

"Letty?" A voice startled me as I continued to panic. "Juliette, you need to breathe."

John Flynn was kneeling right in front of me, his eyes locking with mine.

I shook my head. I couldn't breathe. That wasn't an option right now.

"Letty, take a breath. Just breathe with me. In and out. You're safe. You're at your house. The noise is fireworks outside. They can't hurt you." He instructed.

It took a solid few minutes for me to regulate my breathing, but thankfully I did and tears were threatening to fall down my cheeks, but I wouldn't let them. Not now.

"Do you want me to go get your parents?" John asked me once I was calmed down.

"No." I disagreed.

I didn't want to worry them. Or ruin their wonderful evening. It was bad enough that I was bothering Dr. Flynn with this. He should be with his wife watching the display.

He sighed after a few moments of silence.

"I really do wish you would speak with me Letty. I want to help you, I really do." Dr. Flynn told me quietly.

"You know, I don't like therapy." I told him.

"Well, like I said earlier, it's John tonight. Family friend, not therapist." He offered.

"I…I usually enjoy them." I stutter, not sure why I chose to speak with him. "When I was little…when I was smaller, they frightened me. Now though, I usually love them."

"What made you afraid of them when you were younger?" He asked.

"Surely you know." I told him. "My parents had to tell you some parts of my past."

He nodded in understanding. "The gunshots?"

"Yes." I told him. "I just…I don't know."

"Your pupils are dilated." He analyzed.

"And?" I asked.

"You were acting a little strange when we danced earlier. You haven't taken any drugs tonight, have you?" He asked.

"Of course not Dr. Flynn." I told him.

"Back to Dr. Flynn?" He sighed. "I assume you aren't going to speak anymore?"

I nodded in agreement and looked out the window, seeing the fireworks without hearing them much. I still had confidentiality with him, so I doubted he was allowed to tell my parents about anything, not even my dilated pupils. He would be suspicious now though. I needed to make sure I was careful around him.

"John, are you ready to go?" I jumped at a familiar voice. It was Dr. Flynn's wife, Rhian.

"Are you alright Letty? Are you sure you don't want for me to go find one of your parents?" He asked me softly.

In all honesty, I didn't want to be alone. But Mom and Dad would make me talk about it. They wouldn't understand. They would try to, but it wouldn't work.

"Can you get Christian?" I whimpered.

"Of course." He agreed. "Rhian, can you stay with her while I retrieve her brother?"

"Yes, of course." She agreed.

It didn't take John long to find Christian. Ana was with him though. It wasn't that I didn't like Ana, it's just that I didn't _know_ Ana all that well yet.

"Letty?" Christian's voice was soft, gentle. He crouched in front of me and took my wrists in his hands. "What is it?"

"I'll leave you to it Christian." John told my brother as he took his wife's hand. "Ready Rhian?"

I heard them bid a small, soft farewell, but tears were threatening to consume me again as I looked at my brother.

"The fireworks." I stuttered.

"You haven't been frightened of those in years." He sighed as he brushed a stray curl that had fallen in my face behind my ear.

Those words from therapy so long ago echoed in my head again and I sighed. _"You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written — behind your silence and your suffering."_

This time, I listened to those words. I looked right at Christian and spoke.

"I just…I panicked. I don't know why. I kept seeing them. I kept seeing her shooting him, and then her shooting herself. I haven't had a flashback like that aside from nightmares in so long." This time tears did trickle down my cheeks.

"Oh Letty." He sighed as he pulled me into his arms, shocking me as he did so.

I could count on one hand the times my brother had held me. One that stuck out to me was when I got hurt snowboarding. As soon as I was over the initial shock of my brother holding me, I relaxed in his embrace. I was exhausted at this point, and in desperate need for comfort.

"There was so much blood Christian." I whimpered.

His embrace on me tightened. "I know."

"It was cold when someone finally found me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to save them!" I sobbed.

"Shh, it's alright Letty." He whispered. "You're safe now. You're with us. Mom and Dad are your parents, not Man or Woman, and they won't do anything to hurt each other like that."

"I just want to go to bed." I admitted.

"Okay. Okay, let's get you upstairs alright?" He offered.

I nodded in agreement and he pulled me into his arms and began carrying me in the direction of the foyer, motioning for Ana to follow us.

"Ana, why don't you help her get into some pajamas?" Christian offered. "I'll be right outside the door once she's ready."

"You don't have to—" I began but Christian's look cut me off.

"It's fine, really." Ana assured me as Christian tossed her a pair of my Nike shorts and a hoodie.

"I'm sorry." I told her softly once Christian was out of the room.

"For what?" She asked softly.

"I don't usually…that usually doesn't happen. Not in front of people anyway." I whispered.

"But it happens while you're on your own?" She frowned.

"If you tell Christian you're dead." I whispered. "But yes."

"It must be scary to have to deal with that on your own." She whispered.

"Mom and Dad, even Mia, Elliot, and Christian, they all want me to find them if I get to that point. It's usually after a nightmare. I would rather just handle it alone." I shrugged. "Has Christian told you anything about my past?"

"Just that you had a rough start in life. That Grace and Carrick saved you." She told me as I reached to unzip my dress, but Ana wound up having to do that for me.

"I don't talk about it." I told her. "They know parts of it but I could never…I could never tell them everything that happened. I remember a lot more than what I've told them. Christian, he can understand more. He went through similar things. I think that's why I asked Dr. Flynn to get him. He wouldn't freak out _as_ much or pressure me to talk about things."

"He seems to have a soft spot for you." She smiled. "You _and_ Mia."

"Mom said the two of us changed him tremendously. Especially Mia. She was the reason he first spoke." I smiled. "But I think he has the softest spot saved for you. You've changed him Ana. So much. It's only been a little while since you met him, but he's so much happier because of you."

Once I was dressed, Ana went to retrieve Christian while I got to work removing my makeup and getting the bobby pins out of my hair so they wouldn't bother me during the night.

My brother was sitting on the ledge of my bed, the covers pushed back, Ana standing a little bit away. I walked over to him and climbed under the covers, letting him tuck them in around me.

"Are you going to be alright Letty?" He asked me softly.

"I'll be fine." I tried to convince him. Or maybe I tried to convince myself. I wasn't sure. I knew I would have nightmares tonight. They would probably be worse than usual. Maybe I would take another pill when Christian left.

"Do you need anything?" He asked me as he kissed my forehead.

"I…" I trailed off. When I was younger, having him read to me, hearing his voice until I fell asleep, it helped keep the dreams away to an extent. I was nearly fifteen though, far too old to ask him to read to me. I had already embarrassed myself tonight though, so I figured what the hell. "Could you…could you read to me?" I whispered the last part.

He smiled, a small chuckle escaped his lips. "It's been years since you've asked me to do that."

"You don't have to." I told him softly.

"No, I'll do it Letty. It always helped you with your dreams when you were younger, maybe it'll work now." He told me softly.

As he began reading _Where the Wild Things Are_ , my eyelids got heavier and heavier until I finally couldn't keep them open anymore. I was out like a light on the fifth page.


	18. Chapter 18: Missing

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Sorry it seemed like forever before I posted this. In my defense, I did do three chapters the last time I posted. I just got back from Europe on Monday and I am still exhausted and so very busy with school work so I haven't had much time to write or revise my chapters.

Chapter 18: Missing

" _Because I've had a taste and I'm not sharing. This isn't just for fun. I may be slightly addicted."_

― _Abbi Glines, Fallen Too Far_

Letty POV

Monday rolled around and I found myself in Mia's car, dreading my appointment with Dr. Flynn more than I normally did given what happened on Saturday night. I had spoken to him. He had something he could press to try and get me to speak.

"I'll be out here waiting today." Mia told me as Dr. Flynn motioned for me to come back.

I plopped on the couch and he folded his hands in his lap. "Good morning Letty."

"Good morning Dr. Flynn." I offered.

"I want to talk to you about Saturday." He told me calmly.

"I figured." I mumbled.

"Letty, as a psychiatrist who has treated plenty of teenagers, I tend to be able to figure out when they are using illegal substances. I have my suspicions from Saturday night." He began.

Shit. Shit, did this mean he was going to tell my parents? He said suspicions, not confirmation that I was doing drugs. This wasn't good though.

"I'm not using." I lied easily.

"You're sure?" He asked.

"Yes." I lied again.

He sighed but wrote in his notepad nonetheless. He folded his ankle over his knee as he watched me. "Will you talk to me about the shooting you witnessed as a child?"

"Nope." I told him as I pulled my book out earning a sigh from him.

An hour of reading later, I was back in Mia's car. We headed to go see a movie before soccer practice, and then I rode with Mia home. Everything was going by fairly uneventfully, and soon enough I was at Macy's house again. I was in desperate need of the party. Thanks to sharing my stash, I was out of drugs and I needed to get high again to feel some sort of happiness. Going yesterday without taking a pill or a drink had already made me a little miserable. Once I was ready, I began searching for Ash, finding him on the same couch I had initially met him on those weeks ago.

"Ash." I greeted.

"Jules." He smirked.

"I need more." I admitted.

"Already?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "We all needed something to let loose at this event Saturday so I'm out."

"Alright." He sighed as he tossed me a bag.

I immediately popped two in my mouth and accepted his cup of punch to swallow them down. "I'm going to go dance with Macy!" I called excitedly over the music.

"I think we should work out that payment plan." Ash tells me, grabbing my hand so I can't leave yet.

"How much?" I asked him, tilting my head to the side.

"It's not a matter of money Babe." He smiles. "Come, let's go speak in the other room where the music isn't so loud."

I followed Ash up to one of the guest rooms, and sat on the bed. He said talk. We weren't going to do anything. I was fine. I fought the urge to take another pill to loosen me up more.

"So?" I asked him, his attractiveness harder to ignore in the fully lit room. I mean he was absolutely gorgeous with his dark hair and dark blue eyes. His tight v-neck showed off his abs, and his muscles seemed to want to pop the seams on the sleeves.

"So." He smiled at me. "I'm assuming you would like to know how you'll be getting these from now on?"

I looked at the baggy of pills he held up in his hand. Was it going to be worth whatever he wanted me to do?

"Yes." I pierced my lips.

"You're going to make me feel good." He told me as he sat down, squeezing my thigh.

I froze. He wanted me to do sexual favors in return for those pills?

"Ash…I…I don't know." I whispered.

"Do you want the pills or not?" He asked me.

"I do." I agreed. "But, I-I just…"

"Maybe I should tell you what you're getting this go around with the pills. They should last you two weeks this time. It's an assortment again. Did you have a favorite last time?"

"Just the blue ones." I told him.

"Well, you recognize the blue pills." He chuckled. "That" he pointed towards one of the yellow happy face pills "is LSD. If you dissolve it in your mouth instead of swallowing it, you'll forget all of the things you wish to forget. The orange pill is called PCP, or angel dust. It's a favorite of many people. They make you happy. Then the white pill, that's oxy. It can take the edge off during the day, when you have to be around family, without them noticing you've taken something. I bet you had to wait until you weren't around your parents to take the ecstasy?"

"Yeah, but I-I got away with it Saturday." I stuttered.

"Well, Oxy will make it easier to take the edge off without being noticed." Just barely though. Dr. Flynn was now suspicious. He shrugged.

"I-I don't know about this all." I mumbled.

"It's the initial nerves." He told me. "I swear to you, it's not as bad as people make it out to be. Everyone does shit like this. Did your friends even hesitate when you offered them the Ecstasy?"

I sighed and shook my head. Not much. _If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?_ Mom's words were in the back of my head. But the blue pills really did make me feel better. It relaxed me. It gave me energy. It made touching people feel good. If I could find one that took away the nightmares, I could use it just at night, so I could sleep. It wouldn't be that different from going to a doctor, not really, and it was easier to hide than a bottle of alcohol which I didn't have access to. Ash was offering me easy access to something that worked even better than the alcohol. Both were illegal, I was risking it either way, so why not choose the one that would work better, and faster, than the other.

"If I don't end up liking any of them? If none of them help me?" I asked.

"Well, I highly doubt that seeing as you already came to find me asking for more ecstasy." He laughed but shook his head. " _But_ on the rare occasion you don't like one, or don't want anymore, no questions asked, I won't try and give you anymore."

I sighed, the voice in my head didn't sound so loud when I thought of the opportunity to not have nightmares, or flashbacks. Maybe if I got more sleep, I would be happier. Maybe my parents would stop worrying about me, and Christian would quit forcing me to see Dr. Flynn.

"Okay." I agreed.

"So you'll make me feel good so that these can make you feel good?" He asked.

"I-I've never…I haven't done anything." I whispered.

"Well, since it's the first time I've asked you to do something, we'll start with something easy. Why don't you just give me a hand job and we'll call it good enough?" He offered.

I sighed. That didn't mean he was going to touch me. I just had to touch him.

"Take another pill. Loosen yourself up. Don't worry about it." He whispered as he moved my hand over his rock-hard erection.

He was big. Really freaking big.

I took his suggestion on the other pill and popped one in my mouth, making everything a little hazy as I fumbled with the zipper on his jeans. If I did a bad job, he sure didn't say anything about it. He enjoyed it. A lot. His lips crashed down on mine as soon as he came all over my hand and he pulled me down on the bed.

"No." I whispered. "You said a hand job."

"Come on Jules, I want to reciprocate." He smiled.

"I said stop it!" I snapped.

He smacked me across the face but got up. "You don't get to say when I have to stop. You're lucky I don't go back on my word."

And with that he was gone. I didn't really feel like going downstairs to rejoin the party. I was tired. I was having a good trip, but exhaustion was hitting me too. I curled up on my side and closed my eyes, hoping to God that I didn't dream tonight.

…

…

By the time Friday rolled around, I had experimented a good deal with the drugs Ash had provided. He was right. The pills _did_ help me forget. I felt so much more rested than I could remember ever feeling. If I took one of the heavier pills right before I went to sleep, I would either not dream, or not remember dreaming. Either way, I was getting a full night of sleep every night.

He was also right about the Oxy. It took the edge off. If I took one in the morning, I would have a good six hours of a happy feeling, without anyone, not even my mother, noticing anything aside from my improved mood. They were all convinced it was the therapy.

I guess it was a form of therapy in a way. My own form of therapy. I had never felt so consistently happy in recent memory. I could sleep, I could be happy, I could even let my friends hug me more. They had even improved soccer and kickboxing. If I had any of them in my system, I had so much more energy. My coach, and my trainer, had complimented my recent practices and training sessions. The drugs made life easier. I felt more normal.

"Juliette! Come downstairs please!" My father's voice was panicked when it pulled me from my thoughts. His voice was much less composed than usual. What was going on?

I jogged down and saw Mom and Mia literally crying, Dad trying to comfort them but looking just as nervous, just less tearful.

"Letty, there's been an accident." Dad told me softly.

"An accident?" I squeaked.

"Christian hasn't returned from Portland. His helicopter has gone missing." Dad spoke calmly.

Every bone in my body froze. No breath came to my lungs. Panic set in. Was Christian okay? How was he just missing?

"Charlie Tango?" I whimpered.

"It's okay Princess." Dad sighed as he pulled me into his arms. "We're going to all gather at Christian's and wait for news. I've just gotten off the phone with Elliot. He's called Kate and has told Ana. They're all meeting us there."

We were in Dad's car in a matter of seconds. It was a silent, eerie drive, and silent even as we were ushered inside by a worried Gail. I took a seat by the fireplace, away from Mom and Mia. I needed my space. I was lost in my thoughts when everyone else arrived, and just barely aware when Ana sat beside me. My eyes never left the fireplace though.

"Ana, Letty. Here." Mrs. Jones offered us cups of teas, which we accepted.

"Thank you." Ana's voice was just above a whisper. I couldn't find words at all.

Mom and Mia are watching us, worry the only expression on their faces. Worry for Christian, worry for us, just worried in general. Their hands are clutched together. Kate is in the TV room, watching the local news. You can just barely hear the news, and occasionally, if I glance, I see a picture of my brother's face on the plasma screen.

Taylor and Dad went up to Christian's study to talk to the authorities who had been drip-feeding us all for information, but it didn't matter. The fact of the matter is that Christian is missing and has been missing for eight hours now. There's been no sign, no word from him. The search was called off due to the darkness, and no one knows where he is. He could be hurt or worse, he could be dead. The thought had tears in my eyes.

For the first time since I was a little girl, I offered a silent prayer up to a God I wasn't sure I believed in. _Please Lord, don't take my brother away. I need him. I need him more than I need anything else in this world._

He's the only one who understands me. He's the only one who can understand why I'm such a fucked-up person. Annoyingly, he's the one person who can typically see right through my lies. I'm not saying I have a favorite sibling, but Christian and I…we're just so similar in some ways.

A sob escaped from Ana's mouth and I glanced up to her, looking away from the fire for the first time. I wish I could make myself reach out and take her hand, try and comfort her, but I didn't really know what to do. I was just as devastated.

My memories were back in full force now. Their cold bodies. The blood. That could be Christian. His body would be cold by now. His blood too. Tears threatened to escape from my eyes but I blinked them away. So this is how bad it felt once the drugs wore off. This is how bad negative emotions felt without Oxy or any of the other pills in my system.

Ana's friend José was luckily at Ana's side in an instant. "Do you want me to call your mom or dad?" He asked her softly.

She shook her head as she clutched his hand. Words weren't coming to her. I knew the feeling. I saw her lip tremble and that was enough to get Mia over to take Ana's other hand as Mom joined the boys.

"He will come back." Mia's voice started out with a sense of determination, but it cracked on the last word. Her eyes were red, face pale. She was exhausted, and emotional.

Ethan, Kate's brother, who Mia totally has a thing for, was watching her. Elliot was right by us, arms around my mother, eyes red-rimmed himself, but no tears falling.

I glanced to the clock and sighed. It was close to midnight now. My eyes found the flames again. I needed to calm myself. Watching the flames flicker did that. They always had. When I was younger, if I got very upset, Dad would start a fire, and we would sit together by it until I could calm down enough to get back to sleep. I had to stay composed for my family. I needed to be stronger for my mother. Elliot and Mia had been the ones comforting her. I needed to help in that too.

"Christian!" I heard Mom shriek.

Everything went so slow, like watching a video in slow motion. I watched Mom in a full-on sprint across the great room towards a dismayed Christian in the entrance. He just had on shirtsleeves, suit pants, and holding his navy jacket, shoes, and socks. He looks like he's just been to war and back. What the hell happened to him?

He drops his jacket and shoes on the floor in time to catch Mom who throws her arms around him, not thinking twice about touching him like she usually did. She needed to hold him.

"Mom?" Christian gazed down at her, completely at a loss.

"I thought I'd never see you again." Mom whispered.

"Mom, I'm here." He's got a sort of consternation in his voice as he speaks.

"I died a thousand deaths today" her voice is very audible to us now, voicing all of our thoughts. She gasps, and can't hold back her sobs anymore, tears making my brother frown. He looks horrified that our mother is this upset. Shocking us all though, he envelops her in a huge hug, and holds her close to him.

"Oh, Christian." She chokes out as she wraps her arms around him again.

"He's alive!" I heard Dad call from the hallway before he actually saw my brother when he walked into the room. "Shit—you're here!"

"Dad?" Christian asks as Dad throws his arms around both Mom and Christian.

Mia is the next one to get up, squealing as she runs to them, joining in on that group hug.

I accept Elliot's hand and we walk a little slower to the family. Dad and Mom are both crying.

"Sorry." Mom mumbles as we reach them. She's apologizing for touching him.

"Hey, Mom—it's okay." Christian assures her, consternation still evident on his face.

"Where were you? What happened?" Mom cries as she puts her head in her hands.

"Mom" Christian mutters as he kissed the top of her head. "I'm here. I'm good. It's just taken me a hell of a long time to get back from Portland. What's with the welcoming committee? Mom, I'm good. What's wrong?"

Mom puts her hands on either side of Christian's face. "Christian, you've been missing. Your flight plan—you never made it to Seattle. Why didn't you contact us?"

Christian's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I didn't think it would take this long."

"Why didn't you call?" Mom asked him.

"No power in my cell." He admitted.

"You didn't stop…call collect?" Mom whimpered.

"Mom—it's a long story." Christian defended himself.

"Oh, Christian! Don't you ever do that to me again! Do you understand?" Mom half shots at my brother.

"Yes, Mom." Christian wipes the tears from her face again. When she composes herself, he releases her to hug Mia, but she slaps him hard on the chest.

"You had us so worried!" She blurts out through tears.

"I'm here now, for heaven's sake." Christian muttered.

Elliot was next as Mia went to Dad, who wrapped the arm not holding Mom around my older sister. Elliot hugs Christian briefly, much to Christian's surprise, and slaps him hard on the back.

"Great to see you." Elliot says loudly, if a little gruffly, trying to hide his emotions. He didn't fool me though. I had seen those red-rimmed eyes.

I couldn't help it. I had to hug him. I had to know he was alive. I had to know this wasn't my imagination. My arms were around him in an instant, and his were around me. I couldn't hold the tears back anymore, not from him.

"Don't cry." He whispered to me as he took a look in my eyes. "I'm right here. I'm not even hurt. Not even a scratch."

"I thought you were dead." My voice cracked and he pulled me back into his arms closer. "I thought we would be planning a funeral tomorrow instead of celebrating your birthday."

"I'm here Letty, I'm not going anywhere." Christian assured me.

"I thought…I thought you were going to be like _them_." I whispered this, low enough for him to be the only one to hear.

"I'm not." He promised me, knowingness the emotion that took over his features. "I'm not like them. I'm not cold. I still have all of my blood."

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." He assured me.

I only released him when I saw Ana's eyes. She needed him. We had kept him from her long enough. I moved over to Dad, who had his arms around my mother and sister. Elliot moved over to us, and draped his arm across my shoulders.

"It's okay Pipsqueak." He assured me. "I was scared too."

I looked up at Elliot, his own eyes glossy. Elliot rarely cried, openly at least. His eyes would get red, a single tear, but he wouldn't openly let tears poor down his cheeks like I was doing right now. Mom and Mia, even Dad to an extent, were the criers in the family.

After everyone was done greeting Christian, Gail walked over to Christian, blotting her own tears. "Can I get you something, Mr. Grey?" She asked.

"A beer, please, Gail—Budvar—and a bit to eat." He told her.

"I'll fetch it." Ana murmured, probably wanting to do anything to help my brother.

"No. Don't go." I heard him disagree.

"Surprised you don't want something stronger." Elliot mutters. "So what the fuck happened to you? First I knew was when Dad called me to say the chopper was missing."

"Elliot!" Mom scolds him on his language making all of us smirk a bit.

"Helicopter." Christian growls, correcting my oldest brother who grins. That same old argument from so many years ago had my own smile spread on my cheeks.

"Let's sit and I'll tell you." Christian told us as he pulled Ana to the couch. "Your daughter?" My brother asked Taylor.

"She's fine now. False alarm, sir." Taylor assured him.

"Good." Christian offered a small smile.

I wonder what had happened to Taylor's daughter. I'd have to ask someone about that later.

"Glad you're back, sir. Will that be all?" Taylor continued.

"We have a helicopter to collect." Christian told him.

Taylor nods. "Now? Or will the morning do?"

"Morning, I think, Taylor." Christian decides.

"Very good, Mr. Grey. Anything else, sir?" Christian's wingman asks.

Christian shakes his head and raises a bottle to him. Taylor offers a smile, something I rarely saw, and heads out of the great room.

"Christian, what happened?" Dad finally demands.

And so the story of Ros and Christian flying in Charlie Tango to deal with a funding issue at WSU in Vancouver began.

"Ros had never seen Mount St. Helens, so on the way back as a celebration, we took a quick detour. I heard the TFR was lifted a while back and I wanted to take a look. Well, it's fortunate that we did. We were flying low, about two hundred feet AGL, when the instrument panel lit up. We had a fire in the tail—I had no choice but to cut all the electronics and land." Christian shook his head. "I set her down by Silver Lake, got Ros out, and managed to put the fire out."

"A fire? Both engines?" Dad asks, horrified.

"Yep." Christian agreed.

"Shit! But I thought…" Dad began.

"I know." Christian interrupted him. "It was sheer luck I was flying so low."

"How did you put out the fire?" Kate asked him.

"Extinguisher. We have to carry them by law." Christian told her.

"Why didn't you call or use the radio?" Mom asked.

"With the electronics out, we had no radio. And I wasn't going to risk turning them on because of the fire. GPS was still working on the Blackberry, so I was able to navigate to the nearest road. Took us four hours to walk there. Ros was in heels. We had no cell reception. There's no coverage at Gifford. Ros's battery died first. Mine dried up on the way." Christian sighed.

"So how did you get back to Seattle?" Mom asked.

"We hitched and pooled our resources. Between us, Ros and I had six hundred dollards and we thought we'd have to bribe someone to drive us back, but a truck driver stopped and agreed to bring us home. He refused the money and shared his lunch with us. Took forever. He didn't have a cell—weird, but true. I didn't realize." He stopped, gazing at us.

"That we'd worry?" Mom scoffs. "Oh, Christian! We've been going out of our minds!"

"You've made the news Bro." Elliot told him.

"Yeah, I figured that much when I arrived to this reception and the handful of photographers outside." Christian rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry Mom—I should have asked the driver to stop so I could phone. But I was anxious to be back."

Mom shook her head. "I'm just glad you're back in one piece Darling."

"Both engines?" Dad asks again, frowning in disbelief.

"Go figure." Christian shrugs.

"Electrical failure…that's odd, surely?" Dad asks.

"Yes, crossed my mind too, Dad. But right now, I'd just like to go to bed and think about all that shit tomorrow." Christian sighed.

"So the media know that _the_ Christian Grey has been found safe and well?" Kate asked.

"Yes. Andrea and my PR people will deal with the media. Ros called her after we dropped her home." Christian agreed.

"Yes, Andrea called me to let me know you were still alive." Dad grinned.

"I must give that woman a raise. Sure is late." Christian sighed.

"I think that's a hint, ladies and gentlemen, that my dear bro needs his beauty sleep." Elliot scoffed suggestively.

"Cary, our son is safe. You can take us home now." Mom smiled.

"Yes, I think we could all use the sleep." Dad nodded.

"Stay." Christian offered.

"No Sweetheart, I want to get home. Now that I know you're safe." Mom smiled.

After Mia and I said goodbye, we followed Mom and Dad back to the car. I collapsed once I was inside, exhaustion overwhelming me at this point.

I dozed off in the car, so the next time I was awake, I dragged myself upstairs. I needed sleep, but I didn't want to dream. Not after the day I had. I took a whole handful of pills, note even bothering to see what that handful consisted of, more than I ever had, and swallowed them quickly as I awaited the high that would follow.

Christian had been missing. I thought he had been dead. Now, I just needed to forget.


	19. Chapter 19: New Sister

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: SO SORRY I FORGOT TO UPDATE LAST WEEK! AND I ALMOST FORGOT TODAY! PREPARE FOR CHAPTER 20 RIGHT NOW TOO!

Chapter 19: New Sister

" _I'm not addicted to alcohol or drugs, I'm addicted to escaping reality."_

― _Unknown_

Letty POV

The minute I woke up on Saturday morning, before I even got in my running clothes, I popped an Oxy in my mouth and swallowed it quickly. I was trying my best not to feel the aftermath of my little binge last night, so I did it without thinking.

I took off running that morning, quicker than I usually did. I felt the same splurge of energy the pills always made me feel. As soon as I got home, I grabbed a quick shower, and got dressed. I was wearing a bit more formal clothes than usual, given our plans for the evening for my brother's birthday, but still slightly casual too.

I settled on the red long-sleeved dress that hung off of my shoulders, and reached my mid-thigh. I paired it with my Converse for now, but Mia would force me to put on heels later. She would also probably make me do more than just braid my hair to the side and apply light mascara, but this worked for now.

Everyone was tired at breakfast this morning. Last night had worn us out, and I knew everyone, aside from me, would wind up napping before dinner tonight.

"Who all is coming tonight?" I asked my parents.

"Well, Elliot, Kate, Mia, Ethan, John, Rhian, Mac, Belinda, Ros, Gwen, Lily, Elena…" Mia began.

"Elena?" I groaned.

"Letty." Mom scolded slightly.

"Hold your horses Letty, Rocklin is coming too." Mia offered a smile, trying to cheer me up.

"Really?" I smiled at the thought of having my best friend with me while I sat at a table with one person I hated, and then Dr. Flynn, who I was getting more and more nervous around.

"I talked to him just yesterday about it." Mia smiled. "We'll pick him up and go out for lunch to get you two out for some fun."

"I think it'll be good for Rocklin." I agreed. "I'm worried about him."

"I know you are Princess. We all are. He's going to be alright though." Dad offered a small smile.

After breakfast, I made my way upstairs to work on summer reading. The high actually seemed to help me focus on the book. I didn't have to think about my past, the only things that mattered were in the present. Not even the future seemed to worry me.

A knock on my door did pull my attention away from the book and I looked up. "Darling, could we have a moment to talk?" Mom asked, Dad right behind her in the doorway.

"Yeah, okay." I agreed but panic set in. Had they noticed something? Had my pupils been dilated? Had I been acting strange at breakfast?

"How are you holding up after last night?" Mom asked as she sat on the side of my bed, placing a gentle hand on my back.

"I'm okay." I shrugged.

"It was frightening for all of us Princess, but I'm sure it probably brought back some old memories for you." Dad sighed as he sat beside Mom.

What did I do now? Did I talk to them? Did I offer up some information to them? They thought therapy was working, so maybe if I spoke with them, they would really believe it was more than the therapy. Dr. Flynn's words came back to me again. _"You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written — behind your silence and your suffering."_

"I…" I trailed off. "When I was younger, after Woman and Man died…well they started out warm. They got cold though, and the blood did too. Everything was so cold when they finally found me. I just…I couldn't help but see Christian like that. Cold, his blood gone. It…it really scared me."

"Oh Sweetheart." Mom sighed as she wrapped me in her arms.

"Do you have flashbacks like that often?" Dad asked me.

Now what did I do? Should I be honest? Should I tell them this was happening a lot? But the drugs made it less frequent, so it really wasn't happening as much. How could I word this without it being outright lie but to make them think therapy was making me better?

"Not as much lately." I told them. "Not now."

"Have they gotten less frequent since you began seeing John?" Mom asked.

Well, honestly, yes. But it wasn't because of Dr. Flynn. It was because of the pills. They didn't have to know that though. "Yes." I lied.

"You know you can come and talk to us whenever you want or need to, right?" Dad asked.

"I know." I agreed. "I just…I'm not ready to share very much yet."

"Whenever the day comes that you are, we'll be ready to listen." Mom promised.

I nodded in agreement, but I didn't plan on opening up to her anytime soon. Today, the tiny piece of information I had shared with my parents, that was all they would get in the foreseeable future unless I could say something personal that would get me out of therapy.

"I know Mom. When" if, I added in my head, "that day comes, I'll come find you guys."

"We'll leave you to your book." Dad smiled as he saw me eying it beside us. "I'm going to take you to pick up Rocklin around 12:30."

"Alright, thank you Dad." I smiled.

"We love you Darling, never forget that." Mom kissed me on the forehead.

"We love you all the way to the moon and back." Dad used my favorite phrase from my childhood.

"I love you guys too." I told them as I wrapped my arms around both of them at the same time.

Once they were gone, I flipped my book open, but my mind began to wander. Would they still love me if they knew? Would they still love me if they knew about the partying? The alcohol? The drugs? A twinge of guilt hit me. They would be so disappointed in me. They would never forgive me. Maybe I should try and stop?

The overwhelming desire for personal happiness won that internal argument in an instant though. The drugs, the drinking, they were the two things that could help me be normal. They were the two things that could make me feel positive emotions. I would have to keep taking them, regardless of if one day it would cause my parents to hate me.

I got back to reading, only looking up from my book after my alarm I had set on my phone went off, telling me to get ready to go. There was a light drizzle outside, so I grabbed my yellow raincoat and with not much of a second thought, I took another pill to get me through the day.

"Ready?" Dad asked as I pranced down the stairs.

"Yeah." I agreed.

He smiled and walked with me out to the garage. We got in the Volvo, which I eyed him suspiciously about, but he just shrugged and backed out of the driveway.

We reached Rocklin's house in just a few short minutes, and he was jogging to avoid the rain as soon as we pulled up in front of the house. As soon as he climbed in the back with me, Dad turned to look at us.

"Rocklin, would you like to drive?" My father asked.

I gaped at him. Rocklin had his permit, he had since January, but Dad was actually offering to let one of my friends drive not only him, but me too? I could remember Mia not being allowed to ride with her friends until they had driven accident free for at least a year.

"Really?" Rocklin asked, just as shocked as I was.

"Your father mentioned that he's been a little bit busy to have you practice driving, so I thought you might like to drive us downtown to get lunch." Dad shrugged.

"Okay." Rocklin agreed with a smile. Something that had become rare to my usually happy friend was that smile, and it was contagious. It had me smiling too, and Dad's smile got a little bit bigger.

Dad moved to the passenger seat and Rocklin got in the driver's seat, and then Dad instructed him to adjust the mirrors, and told him to go ahead and start driving.

"Please don't kill me." I joked as he pulled out of the neighborhood.

"Juliette." Dad shook his head.

I glanced up to see Rocklin very tense in the driver's seat, arms stiff, looking more nervous than I had ever seen him.

"Sorry Rocklin. I'm sure you'll do great." I smiled.

"Just relax Son, you're going to do fine." Dad assured him calmly.

And he did do fine. Well, sort of. Dad had to tell him to speed up on the interstate, which I never thought I would hear my father say to a teenage driver, but Rocklin was going very slow. We made it to the restaurant alive though, and that's all that really mattered in the end.

"You did a very good job Rocklin." My dad assured my best friend after we ordered our lunch.

"Thank you Carrick, I was a little nervous." Rocklin admitted, like it had been a secret.

"Just a wee bit." I joked.

After lunch, Dad took us home, and I linked arms with Rocklin and dragged him away from my mother and sister up to my room. We plopped down on my bed and he smiled at me.

"Today has been nice so far." He admitted. "It's just felt like old times."

"I agree." I smiled.

"You've seemed happier lately." He told me.

"I have been happier lately." I admitted.

"Can we…can we talk about the Coping Together Ball for a moment?" He asked me softly.

"Yeah." I agreed. "I guess so."

"It's about the pills." He told me.

"Oh." I sighed.

"Letty, you're my best friend. You've been my best friend for almost twelve years now. I just…I worry for you. I know I'm not one to talk. I mean, I get just as wasted as you do, I eat edibles a lot more than you do, but…there's a little bit of a difference. I know you rationalized it to us, but…the pills aren't a permanent solution to whatever you're trying to use them for." He told me quietly.

"I'm fine Rocklin." I whispered.

"Does anyone know? Aside from the party crowd?" He asked.

"Are you talking about my family?" I asked. He nodded. "No. No they don't know and they never will if I can help it."

"I just want you to be careful. That stuff…it isn't something you can just start using and then stop. It's addictive." He whispered.

"I'm not going to get addicted." I told him. "I take the bare minimum to help me get through the day. It's no different than being on anti-depressants. They're both medications that make you feel better."

He sighed and shook his head. "I'm not going to tell on you." He promised me. "But you need to be really careful. I mean people experiment all the time, I just don't want to see you get yourself to the point of no return."

"I won't." I promised him.

"I love you Juliette Trevelyan-Grey." He smiled as he hugged me.

"I love you too Rocklin Benji Woods." I squeezed his hand.

I loved him just as much as I loved my siblings. He was like having a third brother. I would always love my best friend.

"So, who all is coming tonight?" He asked.

I sighed. "Lily" he groaned "Elena" another small sigh "the family, John and his wife, Mac, Ros and her partner, and Belinda. I think you've met everyone aside from Ros's partner Gwen."

"So it isn't a small dinner then?" He chuckled.

"Nope and Christian doesn't suspect a thing." I smiled.

"So I didn't text you last night, I figured you were taking everything in, but what…what happened with Christian?" He asked.

I jumped into the explanation of the helicopter crash and how Christian and Ros had managed to get back to Seattle and the reunion we had with him once he finally got home.

"Wow." Rocklin mumbled. "Are you sure it was both engines?"

"Yeah. Dad was shocked about it too." I agreed.

"That's…rare. He's lucky to be alive." Rocklin shook his head. "They don't think anyone tried to sabotage him, do they?"

I hadn't thought of that. I mean, in the business world, my brother had competitors, but I couldn't think of _anyone_ who would try and _murder_ him.

"No one has said anything to me about it." I shrugged.

"Hm, well this really is interesting. I'll have to ask Dad about the manufacturer that made Charlie Tango. Maybe he has some insight." Rocklin shrugged.

Rocklin's father is a lawyer that handles major lawsuits against corporations. He's one of the most well-known corporate lawyers on the West Coast and he's known for winning. Or he was, before he began taking time off to spend with his wife.

"I'm sure Christian wouldn't use a company that had been sued." I told him.

"Sometimes that stuff is well-hidden. Off the record stuff. Dad would know though. He knows everything that happens when it comes to big companies." Rocklin rolled his eyes.

"Did Mia dress you today?" I changed the subject as I glanced over Rocklin's outfit.

He chuckled with a small nod. "Right down to the bowtie."

He was in a white button-down, tucked into his navy-blue shorts. His bowtie was red with navy lacrosse sticks on it, and he wore a pair of his navy Sperry shoes with red socks.

"She didn't tell me you were coming." I admitted.

"I think she didn't trust you to keep the size of the party from Christian." He tilted his head to the side.

We continued chatting away through the afternoon about everything. From sports to summer assignments, to deciding to see if Christian and/or Dad would take us sailing soon, and everything in-between. Mia came to find us eventually, telling me to get on "more appropriate" shoes and a touch more makeup, and telling Rocklin to come with her so she could fix his hair, which he groaned about. There was no use in arguing with Mia though. She always got her way.

When I got to Rocklin and Mia in the hallway, Rocklin's hair was fixed and he was in a gray suit coat and looking rather sharp with his hair styled.

"Alright you two, let's go downstairs before the guests arrive." Mia smiled at us as she took one of each of our hands and dragged us downstairs.

"You two are just as beautiful as always, and you're looking very handsome tonight." Mom smiled at the three of us. "Everyone should begin arriving soon, but Ana and Christian won't be here until a little later."

Lily was the first to arrive, followed by Kate and Elliot with Ethan in tow, then Ros and Gwen, John and Rhian, Belinda, and Mac. Now, we were just waiting on the guest of honor and his lovely lady.

At 7:30, just an hour and a half after I took another Oxy, while everyone was chatting quietly to each other, I heard the door open and Dad greeting my brother, causing Kate to get up and leave. We all watched her curiously. Everyone was gone for a few minutes and I was curious as to why in the world it was taking Christian and Ana to join us, but shrugged it off and turned my attention back to the conversation about the Mariners Rocklin and I were invested to with Ethan.

As soon as Christian and Ana did make their appearance, we all began applauding. They both seemed genuinely shocked when they realized how many people were here, but Ana's shock turned into disappointment when she noticed Elena. I could totally understand her on that one.

Gretchen brought everyone champagne, including me and Rocklin, and everyone ended the round of applause and looked at Christian expectantly.

"Thank you, everyone. Looks like I'll need one of these." He chuckled as he grabbed his own glass of champagne as well as one for Ana before raising his glass, causing the rest of us too as well, and everyone immediately rushed at my poor brother.

"Christian, I was so worried." Miss Bitch Face Elena hugged him and kissed his cheeks.

"I'm good, Elena." Christian's voice was almost…cold?

"Why didn't you call me?" She asked him.

"I've been busy." He spoke softly, but I think his softness was a failed attempt at getting privacy. We could all hear them.

"Ana" her voice made me cringe again "you look lovely, dear."

"Elena" Ana's tone almost made me burst out in laughter "thank you."

I glanced over to Mom who was watching the trio with a frown, clearly either disappointed or confused in the way they were interacting.

"Elena, I have an announcement." I heard my brother's voice.

"Of course." Bitch Face agreed as she smiled a fake, awful smile towards Ana.

"Everyone" My brother called, causing any other conversation to halt "Thank you for coming today. I have to say I was expecting a quiet family dinner, so this is a pleasant surprise." He stared towards Mia who smiled and gave our brother a tiny wave, making Christian shake his head in exasperation. "Ros and I"—he acknowledged his second in command—"we had a close call yesterday. So I'm especially glad to be here today to share with all of you my very good news. This beautiful woman"—he glanced towards Ana—"Miss Anastasia Rose Steele, has consented to be my wife, and I'd like you to be the first to know."

My jaw dropped. I knew he was crazy about her, but he had proposed? This soon? Ana was going to be my sister-in-law? Everyone sort of gasped and then cheered, and then had another round of applause. Poor Ana's face was about the color of my or Kate's dresses as Christian lifted her chin to peck her lips. I smiled at the scene.

I glanced at Lily and snorted a laugh. She was crestfallen. Gretchen wasn't happy either, which caused me to break into a fit of giggles, getting me some strange looks.

Mom and Dad approached the couple first. Mom had Ana in her arms in an instant, kissing her cheek. "Oh Ana—I am so delighted you're going to be family" Mom gushed "The change in Christian…He's…happy. I am so thankful to you."

Ana blushed as she was passed to Dad who hugged and kissed her cheeks as well.

"Where is the ring?" Mia exclaimed as she grabbed Ana.

"Um…" Ana seemed a little lost as she looked to Christian.

"We're going to choose one together." He explained.

"Welcome to the family." I smiled as I hugged Ana, much more gently and hesitantly than my family had. "Maybe you'll be a less annoying big sister." I joked as I looked to Mia.

"Hey there Little Missy, watch your mouth." She scolded playfully.

I noticed a little bit of an almost glare from Christian towards Kate who smiled a bit. "Oh, don't look at me like that, Grey!" She scolded him as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so thrilled for you, Christian!"

"When will you get married? Have you set a date?" Mia asked.

Christian shook his head. "No idea, and no we haven't. Ana and I need to discuss all that." He seemed irritated. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I hope you have a big wedding—here!" Mia beamed excitedly.

"We'll probably fly to Vegas tomorrow" he growled playfully towards our sister, earning a full-on Mia Grey pouty grimace.

Christian rolled his eyes and turned to Elliot who gave him a huge bear hug. "Way to go, Bro." He clapped Christian's back.

"I'm so happy for you Christian." I smiled as I hugged him next.

The room's response is honestly overwhelming to me, and I'm not even the center of attention. I can only imagine poor, sweet Ana, trying to take all of this in. John had approached my brother by this point. "Christian." John shook my brother's hand.

"John, Rhian." My brother kissed John's wife's cheek.

"Glad you're still with us, Christian. My life would be most dull—and penurious—without you." John chuckled.

"John!" Rhian scolded her husband making Christian chuckle as well.

"Rhian, this is Anastasia, my fiancée. Ana, this is John's wife." Christian smiled as he introduced the good shrink's wife.

"Delighted to meet the woman who has finally captured Christian's heart." Rhian smiled at Ana.

"Thank you." Poor Ana was blushing again. I wonder if it is possible to have your face get stuck in a state of blushing.

"That was one googly you bowled there Christian." Dr. Flynn shook his head in amused disbelief as Christian frowned at him.

"John—you and your cricket metaphors." Rhian rolled her eyes. "Congratulations to the pair of you and happy birthday Christian. What a wonderful birthday present."

Small talk is the next thing that ensures, and Rocklin and I moved off on our own to speak about less boring, less adulty things, like Harry Potter and soccer. We spoke briefly with Ros and Gwen, I had always liked the pair of them, and then Mom interrupted us all, telling everyone dinner was being served buffet-style in the kitchen.

Everyone made their way toward the kitchen, and I saw Mia corner poor Ana, and thought of going to her rescue, but shook my head and continued towards the kitchen.

I swear I could hear my mother shouting at one point while the rest of us waited on her, Elena, Ana, and Christian, and Dad got up to go check on the situation. Eventually though, they all arrived in the kitchen without Elena or Christian., Mom and Ana both with…satisfied smirks on their faces? I would have to ask Mom what that was about later. Where was Christian though?

"Everyone, go ahead and get started. Christian will join us shortly." Mom assured us, but Ana got up to leave.

Okay, now I was very curious as to what was going on. I shook it off though and got a plate of food for myself and took my seat at the table.

Ana and Christian did join us, about halfway through my plate of food, and the attention turned towards them. After dinner, quite a bit of the guests excused themselves. John and Rhian were the last to go, leaving me with just my brothers, sister, Ana, Kate, Ethan, and Rocklin.

Rocklin and I were being thoroughly entertained by my drunken mother. I had actually never seen her so much as tipsy. Kate and Mia were not any better though, as the three of them dueled it out on the karaoke game on the Wii in the family room. It was much more entertaining than the conversation about the Mariners taking place in the kitchen by Carrick, Ethan, and Elliot.

"Oh, it's happening!" Mia exclaimed when she saw Ana and Christian walking through the yard towards the pool house. "Mom!"

"What's happening?" I asked them curiously.

"He's created his own little meadow in there to officially propose to Ana." Mom smiled.

"I'm the only one who didn't know?" I frowned.

"She only told me because she's drunk." Mia disagreed.

"I am not!" Mom exclaimed making us all laugh.

"I think you may have had one too many Gracie." Dad chuckled as he joined us in the family room, Ethan and Elliot in tow.

"I think he enjoyed his birthday." I told Mia. "You did a good job."

"I did, didn't I?" She smiled. "Though I can't take all the credit."

"What happened to Elena?" I finally asked.

Mom glanced at Dad and they had one of those freaky silent conversations as they stared at each other and she simply shook her head.

"You won't be seeing her again." She told me simply.

"Really?" I asked excitedly. "Bitch Face is gone?"

"Letty." Elliot chuckled.

"Yes. Bitch Face is gone." Mom told me causing us to all burst out in laughter.

After Christian and Ana returned, we all admired the ring on her finger before bidding everyone a farewell. Ethan offered to take Rocklin home, and Elliot and Kate seeing as they were a little too intoxicated to drive. As soon as everyone was gone, I made my way back to my room and smiled a little bit. Christian and Ana were engaged. I was going to have a new sister. I knew if it wasn't for the pills though, I wouldn't feel this happiness. They were the reason I could feel this. They were the reason I could be happy. As soon as I was in my pajamas, I threw a few of the heavier pills in my mouth and laid down to hopefully have a night of uninterrupted, dreamless sleep.


	20. Chapter 20: Life Without Them

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Alright, so another slightly boring chapter. I would consider this sort of a filler, but I wanted to hit on all of the parts of the series where the Grey family was mentioned, and this happened to be one of those moments, so I decided to include it.

Chapter 20: Life Without Them

" _Happy is one of the many things I'm likely to be over the course of a day and certainly over the course of a lifetime. But I think if you have the expectation that you're going to be happy throughout your life-more to the point, if you have a need to be comfortable all the time-well, among other things, you have the makings of a classic drug addict or alcoholic."_

― _Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking_

Letty POV

The morning after Christian's birthday dinner, Elliot, Kate, Ethan, Christian, and Ana were over again. I had already gone on my morning run, had my morning fix, and eaten breakfast and was currently in a ridiculous debate Elliot had started about if bacon or sausage was better.

"So, sausage or bacon?" Elliot asked me.

"Oh, I don't know." I admitted. "I like them both.

"You've got to have a favorite though." He tilted his head to the side. "Mom?"

"Probably bacon." She shook her head with a smile. "Your Dad would agree with me on this one too. He's always preferred bacon."

"I guess I'm more of a sausage fan." I admitted.

"Kate?" Elliot asked as she rolled her eyes.

"Sausage." She agreed earning a disgusting look from my brother that made me stick my tongue out towards Ethan who nodded in agreement.

"I know you like…" He began.

"Elliot!" Mom cut him off before he could finish.

"I like bacon." Christian tried to move the conversation away from his sister.

"Look at this!" Mia squealed as she put her netbook on the kitchen table in front of Christian and Ana. "There's a gossipy item on Seattle Nooz website about you being engaged, Christian."

"Already?" Mom asked in surprise, her mouth pursing like an unpleasant surprise had crossed her mind making Christian frown as well.

"Word has reached us here at The Nooz that Seattle's most eligible bachelor, _the_ Christian Grey, has finally been snapped up and wedding bells are in the air. But who is the lucky, lucky lady? The Nooz is on the hunt. Bet she's reading one helluva prenup." Mia giggled as she read the column out loud.

Christian glared at her, ceasing her laughter with one look, and a dead silence broke out making the atmosphere plunge below zero.

"Christian." Dad spoke gently.

"I'm not discussing this again!" Christian snapped. Dad opened his mouth, about to say something, but Christian interrupted him first. "No prenup!"

"Christian." Ana murmured. "I'll sign anything you and Mr. Grey want."

She was nervous. I hadn't heard her call Dad _Mr. Grey_ since the first time she met him.

"Ana, this is not about you." Dad murmured reassuringly. "And please call me Carrick."

Christian narrowed his cold eyes at Dad. He was _pissed_. Everyone immediately began animated conversation, Mia, Kate, and I leapt up to clean the table.

"I definitely prefer sausage!" Elliot exclaimed.

"Mom, can we have the wedding here?" Christian's question caught my attention.

Mom's smile was wider than I had ever seen it. "Of course Darling!"

"Oh a wedding!" Mia squealed. "I'm so excited!"

And so the conversation thankfully moved away from the prenup. "So Letty." Ethan crooked his head to the side as he looked to me.

"So Ethan." I mimicked his movement.

"Mia here has convinced me to come to your tournament in Vancouver with her. Are you going to kick some tail and live up to the way your siblings talk about you?" He was joking a bit, like Elliot would with me.

"Or she could live up to it right now." Elliot suggested. "We could play a quick game."

"I don't know if I trust my brother to not get competitive with her." Kate told us before we could respond.

"Oh trust me Kate, she can take care of herself." Elliot chuckled.

"You should probably be more worried about your brother than my sister." Christian added with a chuckle.

"I'm not _that_ aggressive." I laughed.

"She's broken a girl's arm, broken a girl's leg, made a girl get stitches…" Mia began.

"She broke that girl's nose, tore that girl's ACL…" Elliot added.

"My favorite will always be during pick-up on the beach when she busted that boy's face up." Christian laughed.

"Accidents!" I assured Ethan who was looking at me in horror.

"I played when I was in college, I understand the aggression level, but my word. You can't be more than what? 5'0''?" He asked.

"4'10''." Mom corrected him with a laugh of her own.

"Tiny but feisty." Elliot chimed in.

"Now I'm truly curious." Ethan admitted.

"We can play two-on-two?" Elliot offered. "I'm assuming the other ladies would just want to watch, and Dad always refs."

"Who would play against who?" I asked.

"You and Christian versus me and Ethan?" Elliot offered.

It would be fair that way. My brothers were athletic, but not soccer players on a regular basis. Ethan apparently had experience, so we would be the two that really knew what how to handle ourselves in a little game.

"Mom, you may want to get your bag ready just in case." Mia's tone was joking, but her words were serious. Christian and Elliot could get a little out of hand playing sports against each other, and I had caused Elliot to get stitches once during a one-on-one basketball game, so Mom probably should be prepared for anything.

I ran up to my room to get out of my dress and into some workout clothes. I settled on a red tank-top, black Nike shorts, and my favorite red running shoes. I would've done cleats, but it would be unfair seeing as none of the boys had them to play in. I quickly pulled my hair into a tight French braid and made my way downstairs with a ball tucked under my arm.

After Elliot, Ethan, Christian, and I were ready, everyone made their way to the backyard where the two goals on a mini field were set up. "You're going down Ethan." I joked.

"We shall see." He smiled.

"Alright guys, and Letty, please don't kill each other alright? Ana would be very displeased if her fiancé was killed in a soccer game." Dad smiled. "We'll flip for kick-off. Ethan, you call it."

"Tails." He called once Dad's coin was in the air.

It wound up being heads, so Christian and I got the ball first.

"You stay more defense, I'll stay more offense." I told my brother as I put the ball in the makeshift center circle.

"You got it Squirt." He chuckled.

As soon as Dad whistled, Christian tapped the ball to me, and it drippled it easily around Ethan and took a shot as soon as I was close enough, scoring with ease.

"Well, I think we can all see who will win this bet." I heard Mia laugh from the sidelines.

The game picked up after that, and wasn't as easy. Ethan was good at soccer, very good, and Elliot was simply strong and fast, as was Christian. I was fastest though, and had the best ball work because I had the most practice.

At one point, I was dribbling to get a shot off, and Elliot and I collided, sending my sprawling onto the grass, Elliot landing right on top of me. I groaned as I rolled over and looked at my wide-eyed oldest brother.

"Is she alive?" I heard Kate whisper as I sat up. "Elliot!" She scolded as she glared to her bae.

So Kate was going to be the more protective of the two girlfriends. Well, one girlfriend, and once fiancé. I was a little shocked she was so concerned about me. We hadn't really spent much time together yet.

"You good Pipsqueak?" He asked as he pulled me to my feet.

"You squashed me." I squeaked.

"Yeah Lelliot, you squashed her." Christian sighed as he shoved our brother a little more than playfully, but not too aggressively as he began looking me up and down.

"Who's foul was _that_ Dad?" Mia called from the sideline.

Dad held up his hand as he approached me. "Are you okay Princess?" He asked.

"I'm fine Dad." I groaned.

"Grace, I swear her pupils are dilated!" Dad called to Mom who was making her way towards us.

Oh shit. That wasn't because of the whole squashing incident. That was most likely the drugs. I hadn't even hit my head. I guess I needed to freaking fake it till I made it. I could fake a bump on the head if it meant them not figuring out I had popped some Oxy when I was up in my room getting ready for the game.

"Darling, look at me." Mom instructed.

"Shit Pipsqueak, I'm so sorry." Elliot told me as Mom took my face in her hands.

"I'm fine Elliot." I grumbled as Mom held a finger up for my eyes to follow.

"Did you hit your head?" She frowned.

Our tournament started Friday. If Mom thought I had a concussion, I wouldn't be allowed to play in it. What was I supposed to do? How do I explain the pupils?

"No, I'm fine Mom." I assured her as she gazed over me with a physician's eye.

"Must be the light dilating your pupils. It is rather bright today. I think I want to go ahead and call it a game though." She told the boys.

"Which means Christian and I win." I giggled.

"Oh did you Pipsqueak?" Elliot chuckled as he tossed me over his shoulder.

"Elliot! Gentle!" Mom scolded as he ran around the backyard with me, my legs kicking to be put down.

"Elliot!" I groaned. "If you squash me again, you're dead!"

"Oh, I'm dead am I?" He chuckled as he began assaulting my ribs with tickles.

"Elliot!" I screamed as I began running away from him.

"Enough you two!" Dad called through a chuckle.

"Sorry I squashed you Pipsqueak." Elliot told me as he draped an arm around my shoulders.

"It's alright. It was an accident." I assured him. "And I totally kicked your ass."

" _We_ totally kicked their asses." Christian corrected me with a chuckle.

It wasn't often you saw a consistently playful mood from Christian, but I was glad I was seeing it now. It had been too long

"You four need to get showers and into clean clothes before lunch." Mom sighed as she looked at the four of us covered in dirt.

"Yes ma'am." Elliot chuckled.

"Shoes off before you go in the house!" Mom called as we began walking towards the house.

We did as she said and Elliot and Christian looked at me with a smirk. "Race you to the top!" They both called as they took off running.

"Hey you dirty cheaters!" I called as I took off after them.

"I win!" Elliot boomed once we all reached the third floor.

"Only because you got a head start." I groaned.

"It's the only way he _can_ win." Christian joked.

"You all must have been a handful growing up." Ethan chuckled.

"Well _they_ were, I was a perfect little angel when they were living at home." I giggled.

"A perfect little _mischievous_ angel." Christian chimed in. "But adorable no less."

"I was only three when they met me." I told Ethan, assuming he probably had the least of my story seeing as Ana and Kate had probably been confided in by my brothers, but Mia and Ethan weren't officially dating, so I assumed he hadn't been told much.

"She was teeny tiny." Elliot smiled. "I was terrified I was going to break her."

"Well, given that you almost _did_ break her today, maybe those fears were justified." Ethan chuckled.

"It wouldn't be the first time Elliot accidentally broke one of us." Christian chuckled.

"I have apologized about a _million_ times about your broken wrist." Elliot groaned.

"I remember that." I laughed. "Wrestling gone wrong."

"Mom was furious." Elliot added. "I think she was more mad about her favorite vase being broken though."

"Probably so." I chuckled.

We all headed off to various showers and I quickly got back into the dress from earlier and dried my hair before heading back outside.

"Letty, come join us!" Mia squealed from where she sat with Kate and Ana.

Mom and Dad were speaking with Christian off a few feet, and I assumed Ethan and Elliot would join them. I decided to do as my sister wanted and made my way to the girls.

"We were just talking about our first boyfriends." Kate giggled.

"Oh?" I asked.

"I told them about Caleb." Mia laughed.

"Oh stop it Mia, we were twelve!" I exclaimed through a blush. "Worst kiss ever."

"What was so bad about it?" Ana asked curiously.

"Well, I wanted a peck, he wanted tongue. We were at the movie theater, and I couldn't get away. I wound up with his bubblegum in my mouth." I cringed at the thought.

Kate laughed. "Been there, done that."

"Really?" I smiled.

"Jason Bennett, eighth grade." She agreed.

"It's a traumatic experience." I laughed.

"So, are there any boys right now?" Kate continued.

I shrugged a little. "Not really."

I don't know if I would consider Ash a boy the way Kate was talking about, not really. He just gave me my drugs in exchange for me pleasing him.

"What's that supposed to mean Missy?" Mia asked me excitedly.

"It just means that it's complicated." I shrugged.

"So there _is_ a boy?! Do tell!" She squealed.

"Shh, calm down Mia! I don't need Dad or the overprotective brothers interrogating me tonight." I bit my lip.

"Who is he? Someone I know?" She asked.

"Nope." I told her. "And that's all I'm saying about it."

"Let-ty!" She groaned.

I giggled and shook my head. The conversation went back towards the stories of awkward first dates and kisses. Mia told Kate and Ana about the time Mom caught her having sex for the first time, all for Kate to tell us about the first time she had been caught having sex by her parents.

"Have you ever been caught Ana?" Mia asked innocent.

Ana and Kate shared a look as Ana bit her lip. "Oh, well…Christian was my first."

Sweet little innocent Ana was as red as a tomato. I admired her though. That meant the only man she was ever going to sleep with was also the man she would spend the rest of her life with. I tried to pretend that it wasn't Christian we were talking about, and just someone else though for the sake of my own sanity.

"You _are_ still a virgin, right?" Mia asked me.

I blushed probably brighter than Ana had. I was a _virgin_ but I definitely had done more from the last time Mia and I spoke like this. "Mia!" I gasped.

"Well, you are, aren't you? You would tell me if that changed." She giggled.

"Yes, I am." I assured her through my own embarrassment. "Can we change the topic? I don't want it to get any more detailed with my brothers' significant others a part of this."

They all laughed but moved the conversation towards wedding stuff. I was actually much more interested in this than I had been about my brothers' sex lives, so I was more social with the group about this. I was actually very excited for Christian's wedding.

I was really starting to like Ana, and even Kate was growing on me. I wouldn't mind so much if Elliot decided she was the one he wanted to propose to one day. I could definitely handle having Ana and Kate around more.

Sometime after lunch, I excused myself to go up to my room. I told them I was going to go grab my book, but I needed to get another pill in my system. I was starting to get worked up and I needed to get the euphoria feeling back before someone thought I was regressing and demanded I go to more therapy or something.

For good measure, I took a swig of the alcohol bottle I had hidden under my bed but froze when I saw the door push open. Instead of hiding the bottle, I just froze like a deer in the headlights, staring wide-eyed at the door.

"Oh, I'm uh, I'm sorry Letty." Ana apologized. "I was sent to check on you."

"Christian?" I sighed.

She nodded. "I think you gave him a fright when Elliot squished you."

"I'm fine…or I was. You're…are you going to tell him?" I asked, glancing to the bottle still in my trembling hand.

"I mean I…" She trailed off. "Christian would be so angry with me if he found out I didn't tell him."

"Ana, please." I all but plead as I moved to stand in front of her. "This doesn't happen often." I lied as I bit my lip. "I just...just please don't tell him. He'll tell my parents."

"Why were you doing it?" She asked me.

"Why was I drinking it?" I asked her, a little confused. She nodded. "Curiosity." I lied.

"Curiosity?" She asked.

I nodded. "It's not like my parents don't let me have alcohol."

"They let you have wine and champagne." She frowned. "That is straight up Vodka."

What did I say now? I needed to lie, and I needed to lie well.

"I know this looks bad." I sighed. "But Ana, I'm begging you. Please don't tell Christian or my parents."

She sighed. "I won't if you pour it out."

I frowned. It wouldn't be that big of a deal to pour it out. I would still have the pills, and the alcohol wasn't even that necessary. I just had it for the really bad days or when I wanted the pills to work quickly.

"Fine." I pretended to be upset.

After I dumped the bottle out, Ana studied me. "Letty, I know I don't know you that well yet, but if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm an open ear. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know that well than people who know nearly everything about you."

"Thank you Ana." I told her. "I'm fine though, really."

She sighed but nodded, accepting this. We headed downstairs together, and I found myself talking with the boys about baseball instead of the girls about wedding plans this time around.

After dinner, everyone left again, and I made my way up to my room. I sighed at how low my stash was. I was going to have to find Ash soon. He had said two week's worth of pills, but I had apparently taken more than he had expected on a daily basis. There was going to be a party tomorrow, but the big party was actually a week from tomorrow. It was being held four days after my birthday, to celebrate my birthday. I only had about a dozen pills left though, so if I was going to make them last until next Monday, I could only afford two a day.

Half of these were Oxy, the other half were heavier. If I did one Oxy in the morning, and one heavier before bed, I think I could last. Surely, that would keep me happy until I got more.

I was honestly not sure what I would do without the pills, even with just starting them recently. I felt so much happier with the pills in my system, I couldn't imagine going back to life without them. I just wasn't a fan of the way I had to get the pills. It was only a matter of time before Ash would want more than just a hand job, and I wasn't sure if I could handle that.

As my heartrate increased, my worries about _that_ seemed to diminish, and soon enough, my eyes fluttered shut as I fell into a peaceful, dreamless slumber.


	21. Chapter 21: A Wonderful Day

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: I know, I know. I'm a terrible person. I forgot to update yesterday if I'm being perfectly honest. School is kicking my freaking ass and I've been a little distracted. Here you go though.

Chapter 21: A Wonderful Day

" _The world doesn't hate you as much as you think it does."_

― _Kōji Suzuki, Birthday_

Letty POV

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Letty, happy birthday to you!" Singing was the thing that woke me from my sleep and my eyes shot open.

Not only were Mom, Dad, and Mia in my room, but so were my brothers, Ethan, Ana, and Kate. I was a little overwhelmed at the amount of people standing around my bed.

"What are you guys all doing here?" I laughed as Elliot and Mia jumped on my bed and began tickling me.

"Like we would miss your fifteenth birthday." Elliot chuckled.

"Happy birthday Squirt!" Christian chuckled once I had broken away from my tickling siblings' fingers.

"We've got a full day planned for you!" Mia smiled.

"But first, you've got your favorite breakfast waiting for you downstairs." Mom smiled.

"Waffles!?" I asked excitedly.

"You got it." She agreed.

I was out of bed, still in my pajamas, still barefoot, and running towards the kitchen in a heartbeat. Elliot was racing me, but everyone else was walking like normal humans further behind us.

"I win!" I told him as we reached the kitchen.

"No fair, you got a head start!" He sighed.

"Payback for Sunday." I giggled as I took my normal seat.

"You two are never going to grown up." Mia rolled her eyes.

"You're one to talk." I giggled.

"Carry, we've raised little monsters." Mom joked through a grin.

"You get one of your presents early!" Mia exclaimed with a huge grin. "The one from me to be exact. You get it right after breakfast."

"What all are we doing today?" I asked them.

"You'll figure out after you open Mia's present." Christian told me as we began eating.

"First, we are going to go and get your learner's permit, but I think you expected that." Dad told me with a smile.

"But you are _not_ driving me around." Christian's voice was teasing, but I could tell he was also serious about that. There were very few people Christian Grey was comfortable allowing to drive him places.

"You can drive me." Elliot chimed in. "As long as you don't hit anything this time."

"It was just a mailbox!" I defended, gaining looks from everyone at the table. "Or two."

Everyone laughed at the facial expression I had on at my confession and Elliot burst into a highly dramatized version of him trying to teach me how to drive and how he had to swoop in like Superman to save the day.

"It wasn't _that_ bad." I groaned.

"I was afraid for my life." Elliot joked.

"I'm sure she did fine." Kate smacked him playfully.

"Kate, I could have died!" He grasped his heart for dramatic effect.

"Oh shut up Elliot!" I groaned. "It was your fault anyway! You had me so worked up I couldn't focus on staying in the road."

"Maybe we should have gotten her a stash of spare mailboxes for her birthday." Christian joked with Ana who smiled and shook her head.

"You guys give her too hard of a time. Everyone hits a few mailboxes when they start out. I sure did." She smiled at me and I mouthed a small 'Thank you' to her.

After we finished eating breakfast, Mia plopped a very large box wrapped in shiny purple paper with a big silver bow in front of me.

"What on Earth is in here?" I asked Mia.

"Just open it!" She squealed.

I did as I was told and began pulling out various items from the box. Mia had given me a full outfit including a new blue, Vineyard Vines, button down and white Vineyard Vines pullover to go with red Vineyard Vines shorts, navy Sperrys, a navy monogramed windbreaker, and a red monogrammed hat that had an anchor on it.

"Wait." I paused. "Are we going sailing today?" I smiled.

"We are." Dad agreed.

"Which boat?" I asked.

" _The Grace_." Christian offered a smile. "You've been begging me to take you on it all summer, so we're going to go out today."

"Where are we headed?" I asked.

"Victoria for tea at the Empress and then some shopping." Mom smiled, making my own smile grow wider. I _loved_ Victoria. It was one of my favorite cities.

"Gail is also making one of your favorite meals for dinner. Rack of lamb, potatoes au gratin, asparagus for the main course. I have to keep the other courses a surprise per her orders though." Christian chuckled.

"So is it a good birthday surprise?" Dad asked me with a smile.

"A wonderful one." I agreed.

"Well, go get ready! The quicker you're ready, the quicker we can head to get your first official piece of identification." Mia grinned.

She didn't have to ask me twice. I ran up the stairs, new clothes in hand, and to my bathroom, immediately stripping and getting into the shower. I don't think I've ever scrubbed myself clean so quickly, or managed to dry my hair so quickly either.

I quickly got dressed and fixed my hair into a tight French braid so it wouldn't be all over the place sailing, and put on some makeup and my glasses. I contemplated taking an Oxy, but I was in a good mood today. Without the pill, I was feeling happy. But would it last? I wanted to enjoy my birthday today. I quickly put it in a tiny baggy and slipped it in my bra just in case I needed it later before running downstairs.

"Oh, you look so cute!" Mia squealed when she saw me in my new outfit.

"Ready to head to the DMV?" Dad asked.

"Is everyone coming?" I asked him a little nervously. It was going to be enough pressure to pass the test, but to have everyone waiting in the lobby made me nervous.

"They're going to meet us at the dock." Dad assured me.

"In that case, yes." I agreed.

"Oh Carry, can't we give her our present now?" Mom asked as she smiled at me.

That was strange. Usually Mom wanted to wait for dinner to give out birthday gifts.

"I suppose it would help motivate her to do well." Dad chuckled.

Mom clapped her hands and pulled a small box out from her purse. I looked at her suspiciously. My siblings all seemed to know what was in this box, their faces a mixture of excitement and worry, which had me completely baffled as I began to undo the ribbon.

I gasped at what was inside. There was a key attached to a ribbon. A car key. A freaking _Range Rover_ key. As in my dream car. As in the car I thought I would get maybe when I graduated high school. Mom and Dad had gotten all of my siblings cars for their fifteenth birthdays so they could learn to drive in the car they would use at first, but they hadn't gotten any of my siblings their dream cars as their very first cars.

"Are you serious?" I gasped, I swear I was going to faint.

"It's in the parking garage at Christian's. We'll have to go pick it up, but yes, we are serious." Dad smiled.

"You got me a Range Rover?!" I squealed.

"An Evoque to be exact." Dad agreed. "White."

"MY DREAM CAR?!" I squealed again.

"Christian tried to sell us on an Audi, but we couldn't resist." Mom smiled.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed as I threw my arms around both of my parents. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"We are going to go pick it up before going to the DMV, and if you pass the test, you can drive the two of us to the dock." Dad grinned.

"Seriously?!" I gasped.

"Well, it's just city driving. No interstate, and low traffic given it being a week day, so yes. We are serious." Dad smiled.

"Oh my goodness!" I smiled, suddenly glad I hadn't taken the Oxy yet. You weren't supposed to drive on that stuff.

I literally ran to Dad's car, too excited to see my car to wait much longer, and I literally bounced up and down in excitement in the backseat. My parents had smiles on their faces, happy solely because I was happy.

It was absolutely beautiful. I recognized it the minute we were in Christian's garage. I threw myself out of the car and towards my new baby. I couldn't help but start crying out of pure joy once I actually saw it in person.

"I think it's safe to assume she loves it." Mom laughed.

"I'll say." Dad chuckled as I handed him the key.

I couldn't unplaster the grin from my face the whole ride to the DMV, not even as we waited in an annoyingly long line. The test was actually really easy, and after I passed a vision test, just barely, I got my picture taken and was handed my permit.

"My baby's growing up Carry." Mom whispered as she blotted a tear away when I walked up to them with a wide smile.

"I get to drive now, right?" I asked them.

"As promised." Dad agreed.

If I thought just riding in my first car was a good feeling, driving it was an even better one. I had never driven on a main road before though, so I was very nervous as I drove my parents. Dad helped me though, and was patient. He didn't even yell when I almost took out a bicycler. He just calmly told me to be more cautious.

I parked once we reached the dock and walked with my parents to where my siblings, Kate, Ana, and Ethan were waiting.

"You're alive!" Elliot gasped dramatically.

"Oh hush Elliot." I giggled. "Did you guys _all_ know I was getting this car?"

"Guilty." Mia giggled. "Do you love it?"

"I more than love it Mia. I will worship that car. It's going to be my baby." I grinned.

"Like brother like sister." I heard Ana laugh.

We all knew how Christian felt about his cars. I giggled as I looked to him.

"I wanted them to get you an Audi, they're much safer." He admitted.

"Don't be a kill joy Grey, your little sis just got her dream car." Kate scolded him and I smiled.

"It's good to see you both in one piece." Elliot carried on once my parents reached us.

"Your sister did a very good job Elliot." Mom scolded him lightly.

"You must just be a bad teacher." Mia winked at him.

"Oh, he is." I laughed. "So Christian, when am I going to get to drive your—" I didn't even finish my sentence.

"Never." He told me.

"You don't want to drive him anywhere." Ana assured me, earning either a playful, or a serious glare from Christian, I couldn't tell.

"Oh really?" I asked.

"Not unless you want to have to pullover in a no parking zone and demand he take over or be quiet." She giggled.

"Did that happen?" I laughed.

"He was worried we were going to get a ticket." She nodded.

We continued chatting excitedly as we climbed onto the boat. I initially sat with the girls and let Dad, Elliot, Christian, and Ethan getting us out of the dock area, but Christian nodded for me to come and take the wheel, my favorite part.

I sailed under the watchful eye of my brother. It didn't matter that I could probably sail this thing on my own, he was a little paranoid about _The Grace_ , even keeping an eye on _Dad_ when he would take the wheel. Dad was the one who had taught Christian to sail, so I knew that Christian watching me was just his paranoia towards his boat.

"You've seemed happier lately." Christian offered quietly once no one was really paying attention to us. "Has Dr. Flynn gotten through to you?"

"Something like that." I lied.

"I'm glad you're happy Squirt. Seeing you back to your old cheery self makes me happy." He told me with a smile.

"Hey Big Bro, I'm happy to see you so happy. Ana, she's…well quite frankly, she's brought you to life." I told him. "I'm so glad you found someone like her."

"I'm so glad I have too." He agreed with a small smile.

"I want to spend more time with her, get to know her. If she's going to be my sister, I should get to hang out with her more." I offered.

"I'm sure she would enjoy that. I think you two would get along very well. Your love of books if nothing else would keep you two talking for hours." He chuckled. "She's special Letty. I love her so much."

"I should hope so seeing as you did ask her to be with you for the rest of your life." I giggled.

"And to think, you all thought I was gay." He chuckled.

"Well…" I mumbled. "You should have seen my friends' faces when I told them about Ana. They were very shocked."

"Honestly." He groaned with an eye roll.

"What do you think about Mia and Ethan?" I asked him.

"What about them?" He countered.

"Oh come on Christian, you have to see the way they look at each other." I smiled. "They're falling fast for each other, even if they don't realize it themselves."

"It wouldn't be the worst thing to happen." Christian offered simply.

I laughed at that, shaking my head. No one would ever be good enough for Mia, or for me, in his eyes. I was really enjoying having Ethan around.

"You and Elliot sure did find love at the same time." I added.

"He has fallen quite hard for Kate." He agreed. "I never thought I'd see the day he had a relationship that was more to him than just sex."

"She's good for him. I wasn't so sure about her at first, but she's grown on me." I smiled.

"What did you think about Ana at first?" He asked.

"Well initially I was just happy that you had found someone. Once I actually talked to her, after that dinner, I had this feeling that she was going to be around for a while. I had this feeling she might be the one to capture your heart." I admitted.

"Well, you've always been good at reading people." He chuckled. "Anytime you didn't like someone, something seemed to go wrong with their relationship, be it a friendship or a relationship, in the end."

"What happened between Mom and Elena?" I finally asked.

"That…that's a story for another day." He told me.

"I've missed you lately Christian. Don't get me wrong, I love that you and Ana are together, but…well, I've missed having some brother time." I admitted. "I don't even mind if Ana is there, I just like seeing you away from everyone else."

"How about you come spend the weekend with me sometime before the wedding? It would give Ana the chance to have a girls' weekend with Mia and Kate and you and I could just do whatever you wanted. Just like we used to." He smiled.

"I'd like that." I agreed.

"I've missed you too Squirt." He added. "We grew apart a little after that drunken night."

"I figured you were disappointed in me." I sighed.

He pierced his lips and was quiet for a moment before speaking. "Well, I was. You really had scared me half to death that night Letty, but all is forgiven now. I love you Squirt, more than you'll ever know."

"I love you more." I smiled.

"Not possible." He countered.

We were interrupted from our conversation by Elliot chasing Mia around with what looked like a spider he had found. I rolled my eyes, hoping that neither of them would wind up falling overboard. It would amuse Elliot greatly, but thoroughly piss Mia off because she would have to redo her hair and makeup.

"Hey, careful!" Dad scolded after Elliot knocked into one of the sails and Mac had to steady it.

"I swear, sometimes you're more mature than the two of them put together." Christian chuckled to me.

"Elliot Trevelyan-Grey, you either flush the spider, squish it, or throw it overboard right now!" Mom scolded like Elliot was a small child again.

"Yes Mom." He groaned as he tossed the dreaded creature overboard only to hang his head in shame. I could hear Kate and Ana laughing as Mom scolded two of her children.

"Do you want to keep sailing or would you rather join them?" Christian asked me.

"Can I keep sailing?" I asked him.

"Of course." He agreed. "I'll take over when we need to dock, but you can stay at the wheel as long as you'd like."

It was quiet for a while, just the distant sound of Mia, Mom, Ana, and Kate chatting about wedding plans again, and Elliot, Dad, and Ethan about baseball, but it was quiet to me and Christian as I sailed on the open water.

It should have been a peaceful moment that made me feel happy. A moment that used to give me pure joy and calmness, but as I thought, my mind wandered for the first time in days. The drugs had prevented me from thinking about things clearly, and now, memories were flooding back into my brain quickly. The dam was loose.

…

" _It's the Cunt's third birthday!" Man yelled to woman. "Do you know what birthday girls get?"_

 _I shook my head. I couldn't remember from my last birthday._

" _Birthday beatings." He grinned at me, smacking me across the face as hard as he could, sending me to the floor._

 _I grabbed my cheek in my hand and whimpered and he chuckled._

" _You'll get three beatings today because you're turned three years old." He smiled. "If you're good, I may give you some bread tonight."_

 _He hit me. Over and over again. it hurt worse than the beatings usually did. His belt seemed to hit my back harder than usual. After the first beating, he tossed me to woman._

" _She's going to burn you three times for your birthday too Cunt." Man roared._

 _I screamed bloody murder when she held the match to my arm, and Man clamped his hand over my mouth. I couldn't breathe. I tried to pull his hand off of me, but he was too strong. Woman just held the match to my arm, and tears flooded down my cheeks._

...

"Letty?" Christian's voice was very gentle. I glanced at my hands. My knuckles had turned completely white and my hands were trembling. "Are you alright?"

" _You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written — behind your silence and your suffering."_

Those damn words were in the back of my mind again. Did I talk to Christian? Did I tell him about the memory? It was just me and him, no one else had noticed. He was the one who would understand. The night I thought he was dead, I had thought I was losing the one person who could understand what had happened to me.

No one knew about that memory though. Like so many others, it had been speculated that something had happened on a birthday to make me so nervous around the first time I got to celebrate with my new family, but no one knew the details.

"I…I'm fine." I whispered.

"You're crying." He whispered right back, using his thumb to wipe the stray tear from my cheek.

"It was a memory." I admitted.

"A happy one or a sad one?" He asked softly.

"It was a bad one." I admitted.

"What was it about?" He asked.

"The first birthday I remember." I told him. "It wasn't the one I celebrated with you guys from my hospital bed, it was my third one."

"What happened?" He asked.

"I got birthday beatings and birthday burns. One per year, so three that year." I whispered.

"Oh Letty." He sighed as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine. I just need to go the restroom for a moment to compose myself. Not a word to Mom or Dad, okay?" I plead.

"Okay." He sighed in agreement.

"Are you alright Darling?" Mom asked as I passed her on my way to the bathroom.

"I'm fine. I just really have to pee." I lied and she laughed and shook her head.

"This happens every time we go sailing." Mia rolled her eyes to the others. "She gets carried away and doesn't realize until she's near tears she has to pee."

I offered a fake smile and made my way to the bathroom, immediately locking the door and reaching for the pill in my bra. I was desperate for a release now. I didn't want to have anymore memories, not today. Not on my birthday.

I used the toothbrush holder to crush the pill up on the counter, and for the first time, I snorted the Oxy, like I had seen Macy do that time.

The effects were almost immediate, and a smile crossed my lips. I wiped my eyes, and made sure there was no residue on the counter before making my way back out of the bathroom and rejoining Christian. Ethan, Dad, and Elliot were there now too, and Elliot laughed when he saw me.

"What?" I asked.

"I just…I have to ask." He smirked.

"Ask what?" I groaned.

"Is it hard to reach the pedals in the car?" He asked.

I glared at him.

"Elliot." Dad scolded with a headshake.

"It's a legitimate question. She's very tiny to be driving a fairly large car. I just want to know." Elliot laughed.

"Let's not antagonize her on her birthday." Dad shook his head.

"Being tiny has its perks." I giggled.

"Like?" He asked.

"Like I can do this." I giggled as I jumped right on his back.

Elliot ran around, trying to pull me off of him, but I was like a little monkey. He was laughing the whole time though, he found it hilarious. This was a game we played a lot when I was younger.

After Elliot and I nearly knocked Ethan down, Dad told us to knock it off and I hopped off his back, laughing as I elbowed him in the ribs.

"I guess there are perks to you being tiny." He chuckled.

I got back to steering up until Christian took over closer to the dock. Victoria was absolutely beautiful, as always, and after tea at the Empress, we took a tour of the Rose Gardens and then went to do a little bit of shopping.

We got back on the boat to watch the sunset on the water, and headed back in the dark, which meant I wasn't allowed to steer anymore. That was fine though. Mac was driving anyway and we were all settled around the dining room table being served food by Gail.

After a wonderful meal, and an equally as wonderful dark chocolate drizzled cheesecake, more presents were put in front of me. There were three small boxes from Christian, one rather large box from Elliot, and one box addressed from Kate, Ethan, and Ana.

I opened Elliot's first. He had bought me a new Mariners jersey with a matching hat, four season tickets, and a signed ball from the 1983 team. I was very excited with his gift. I was going to have to make him take me to as many Mariners games as he could.

The next one I opened was Christian's. It included a new, diamond tennis bracelet, and a diamond turtle necklace with matching earrings with the word 'Squirt' engraved on the back. I loved his just as much as Elliot's. I foresaw myself wearing the set regularly, which was saying something. I wasn't one for jewelry but I loved what he had picked for me.

Finally, I opened my last present. It was a copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, a first edition, from London, copy to be exact. I gasped and looked at them.

"Open it or you'll miss the best part." Kate told me.

I did as she said and realized it was signed by J.K. Rowling herself, addressed to _me_ personally.

"Oh my God!" I squealed. "How did you get this?"

"Our father actually knows Rowling." Ethan explained.

"That's the other part of your gift." Kate smiled. "She'll be in Seattle in October for business and wants to meet you."

"Wait…" I trailed off. "I GET TO MEET J.K. ROWLING?"

"Told you she'd freak." Elliot chuckled.

"It was all Ana's idea." Ethan glanced towards the quietest of that trio.

"Ana, it's…perfect." I told her as happy tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Told you she'd like it." Christian told her with a smile.

"Like it? I love it! I get to meet my freaking idol!" I exclaimed.

"I'm glad you love it." Ana smiled at me.

"Thank you so much everyone!" I exclaimed, glancing around the table. "This has been one of the best birthdays I've ever had."

"I'm so glad you've had such a wonderful day." Mom smiled at me.

And I had been having a wonderful day. The minute that had begun to change, the Oxy had helped. It had taken over, and made my day go back to being happy again. I had learned what happened if I tried to rely on my own happiness though. It wouldn't last. Not like the happiness I got from Oxy. I just had to make the pills last until Monday, and then I would have plenty to help me make it through more potentially terrible days.


	22. Chapter 22: In Too Deep

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So, so sorry I didn't update last Saturday or yesterday. Last week I was at the beach and didn't have my laptop with me. Yesterday I was dealing with mending a broken foot (thank you longboarding), so I just forgot. You guys are getting two chapters today though!

Chapter 22: In Too Deep

" _Some things go too deep to be forgotten."_

— _John Galsworthy, The Forsyte Saga_

Letty POV

The weekend had gone fairly well. We had won our soccer tournament, and everyone had complimented my game. The drugs helped me keep my stamina up and play tough. I had really improved my game, which was saying something. I had stayed at the same skill level the past year, and now I was playing better than I had before. Therapy today went as it always did, in silence. I did tell Dr. Flynn I was sleeping better, but when he asked why, I simply shrugged and told him he was the shrink, so he could tell me. Then it went back to silence. That didn't matter to me anymore though, I was too excited for the party.

I was currently on my way to my real birthday party. Mom and Dad had dropped me off at Scotland's for a "sleepover", but in reality, her older sister was taking us to Macy's for the real party. I knew it was bigger when I saw the amount of cars in the driveway, twice as many as usual. Everyone seemed to be at this party.

"THE BIRTHDAY GIRL IS HERE!" I heard Liam call over a microphone.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" The party began singing loudly as Rocklin approached me with a "birthday shot" which I took.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" The party continued as Ryleigh handed me a different shot.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR LETTY!" Everyone continued while Alex handed me a third shot which I used to down the last two pills I had.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!" The party finished out the song as Macy held up a brownie with a candle in it.

I blew it out and looked at her curiously. "It's a pot brownie." She laughed.

"Made by yours truly." Liam took a dramatic bow.

I laughed and popped a bite in my mouth before being promptly dragged out to the dance floor by Macy and Rocklin. I danced with all of my friends for a solid half hour before excusing myself, saying I was going to the restroom.

In reality, I had other plans. I needed to find Ash. I needed more pills. I had saved the tail end of my stash just for what I knew what was coming, and popped the last three blue pills in my mouth. I didn't want to do what I was going to have to do in order to get more pills, so I used the pills and the swig of vodka as a sort of liquid courage before finding Ash.

"Happy Birthday Jules, but I have a feeling you didn't come over just for a chat." Ash smirked.

"Nope." I popped the 'p' loudly, laughing as he pushed my hair out of my face.

"I'm assuming you want to speak somewhere more privately?" He asked.

"Yesss." I slurred as I sipped on a cup of punch I saw laying on the table. I didn't care who it belonged to honestly.

"Come on." He smiled, taking my hand and leading me upstairs.

I sat on the bed and crossed my legs, watching as he locked the door behind him when he entered, moving to stand in front of me. "I'm assuming that you're out of pills?" He asked.

"Unfortunately." I giggled.

"I'm also assuming you want more." He smirked.

I nodded, giggles erupting through my chest.

"So, I'm assuming you want to know more of the details how to get more?" He offered.

"I think I know what I have to do." I slurred. "You gave me a good idea last time."

Liquid courage, the alcohol, that had to be why I was openly saying all of this to him with seemingly no fear in my voice. I didn't care.

"Oh, I don't think you even know the half of it." He told me.

"You want me to have sex with you." I told him.

"No." He disagreed. I quirked my head at him. "No, I wouldn't say what I want to you is just having sex."

"I'm confused." I admitted. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe the booze, but I was very confused by this. He didn't just want sex?

"I want to be your master." He shrugged.

"My master?" I asked, my impaired self still knowing this wasn't a normal situation.

"Precisely." He nodded.

"What does that even mean?" I slurred.

"Well, for starters, if you address me, it'll be by the name 'Master'. Anything else, and you'll be punished." He told me.

"Punished?" I asked.

"You've got a whole world ahead of you that you have no idea even exists." He laughed. "Given it's your birthday party, I'll be lenient with you tonight though. You need to call me 'Master', but I won't hit you just yet. You'll just have to be tied to the bed."

"Tied?" I frowned.

"Don't worry. It'll be fun." He smiled.

"I…I don't know." Even with the drugs and alcohol, I was nervous. I didn't want to have sex with him. I didn't want to have to call him master or be tied up. I just wanted more pills. No, want wasn't right. I just _needed_ more pills.

"It'll be fun. You'll enjoy it." He told me. "And you'll get more pills. Haven't they been helping you? Isn't that the reason why you came to me today?"

"Yeah but…" I trailed off.

"But nothing." He told me. "You're going to let me fuck you if you want more pills."

"I…I don't know if I…" I stuttered.

"Well you better figure it out Jules, because it's pills and being fucked, or no more pills for you." He told me. "The minute you decide you want the pills though, your attitude towards me has got to change."

I needed those pills. I would do anything to get them again. I couldn't go on living without them. I needed that happiness.

"How?" I finally whispered.

"You'll only speak when spoken to. You will address me as Master as I previously mentioned. You'll do any and everything that I want you to do. It'll only stop once I'm finished with you. You don't get to decide anything." He snarled.

"I…I just don't know if..." I whispered.

"Let's start with something easy. I can tie you up, and you can get used to the ropes." He told me. "You can even keep that dress on. If you let me get you tied up, I'll give you half the bag."

He held the baggy up. It held more than the last baggy had contained. I assumed that half of this bag was about the amount he had given me last time. Half the bag just to be tied up. That wouldn't be that bad, would it? Half the bag would get me through another week, maybe two if I paced myself better.

"Okay." I whispered.

I was frozen when Ash took my wrists in his hands. I made no effort to move to help him. I was paralyzed by fear. He just was tying me up though. Nothing else. My heart was racing as he used the ropes to tie my ankles to the bed posts at the end, and my wrists to the headboard. It was so uncomfortable. I was small enough that I was fully stretched out.

He moved to lay on top of me, pressing his lips against mine. I tensed up. This wasn't part of the deal to get the pills. Not yet. Possibly, not ever. He said to just be tied up. Last time, he said he didn't go back on his word. What was this?

"Stop." I told him as his hand traveled up the skirt of my dress.

"Oh innocent little Jules. You didn't actually believe you were just going to get tied up, did you Babe?" He laughed.

"Untie me!" I snapped. "You said you don't go back on your word!"

"I can do whatever the fuck I please now that you're mine, regardless of what my word previously meant. I have provided pills for you, which have given you pleasure, so you're going to provide pleasure for me." He disagreed.

"Ash, let me go!" I snapped.

He responded by slapping me as hard as he could across the face. So hard I saw stars.

"How did I tell you to address me?" He asked.

"I didn't say we could do this!" I yelled.

"Does it look like I care?" He snapped with another smack.

"Stop it!" I yelled as he pulled my underwear off.

"What part of cooperating don't you understand?" He asked as he smacked me again.

"I don't want this." I told him through a broken sob.

"I don't care." He told me. "You're going to be still, and you're going to keep this between us if you know what's good for you."

…

" _You'll stay quiet if you know what's good for you!" Man snapped. "This is to make me feel good, no crying this time."_

….

"That's it Bitch, you're doing well." Ash told me as he rammed himself into me, over and over, my tears not even phasing him.

"Please stop!" I sobbed, earning another smack. "I don't want this!"

"You have to learn how to please a man at some point Jules!" Ash snarled.

…

" _You're learning Cunt. You're learning how to bring pleasure to a Man." Man told me as he finally let go of me._

….

"What do you say huh?" He asked.

I had no idea what he wanted me to say. I just wanted him to stop. Why wouldn't he stop? Tears flowed down my cheeks.

He smacked me again. "Say thank you."

"No." I cried.

"Say thank you!" He smacked me harder.

"Thank you." I whispered, just trying to get him to stop.

"Thank you what?" He smacked me again.

"Thank you Master." I whispered, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Are you going to tell anyone?" He asked.

I couldn't get words out. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. Why had he done it? Why had he hurt me? All I wanted was the pills. I didn't know he was going to hurt me. I thought maybe I would have to give him a hand job again, or he would make love to me. I didn't want this.

"Just remember, if you tell dear Mommy or Daddy what we're up to, I tell them why we were up to it in the first place. I'm sure they'd be very interested to know about your little party hobby and your newest activity." He shook a bag of pills in front of me.

Mom and Dad would kill me if they knew about the partying, the drinking, or the drugs. All three at once, on top of them learning I had used sex to get more drugs, would have me grounded for the rest of my life, and them not ever letting me out of the house again. And I needed the pills. I needed them to be happy. I needed them to get sleep. I needed them to be normal. If this is what it was going to take, I could endure.

"I won't tell." I whispered.

Another smack. "You won't tell what?" He asked

"I won't tell Master." Tears streamed down my cheeks.

"That's a girl." He smiled as he kissed me again. "I think, once you adjust, you're going to do just fine giving me pleasure."

The thought gave me chills. He began untying my wrists and ankles, shaking his head at the redness on them.

"Those are going to bruise." He told me. "Make sure you wear bracelets unless you want people to know how much of a whore you are."

…

" _Such a good little whore." Man smiled as he tossed me off of him._

…

"I just want to go home." I whispered.

He smacked my hard across the cheek again. "You have to go the fuck back to your party and act like nothing happened. If anyone suspects anything, I'll bring you right back up here and beat the shit out of you."

"It hurts." I whimpered, getting another smack.

"Speak only when spoken to!" He snarled. "Here, have the whole bag."

I took the bag and watched as he left the room. A sob erupted through my chest the minute I was alone. I just wanted to go home. How though? I was drunk, high, and probably looked terrible. I was trapped. What did I do?

Without another option, I went back to the party, and did my best to act like nothing was wrong. But everything was wrong. As high and intoxicated as I was, I couldn't quit shaking due to the fear in my body. What had I just gotten myself into?

"Hey, are you okay?!" Macy called over the music as I danced with her.

I bit my lip. What did I say? No? I saw Ash glaring at me from across the room and I offered a small smile. "I'm fine!" I called. "I just need a few more shots!"

She giggled in agreement and pulled me over to the bar and poured us a few shots of Malibu and then we made our way back out to the dancefloor again.

I was dancing with everyone, just like I always did, but Ash never stopped staring at me. I couldn't tell if he was mad or what, but it made me uncomfortable enough that I took another pill to loosen up, and that's exactly what I did.

…

When I woke up, I was in Macy's bed, still in my party clothes. That most likely meant I had passed out, and was taken to bed, instead of just putting my drunk self to sleep. I groaned at the headache I was currently experiencing and sat up, trying to avoid the light.

Realization hit me of what the hell had happened last night. Ash had sex with me. I had given myself away just like that, all for some pills. But I needed these pills so badly. I needed them just to survive. I needed them to make myself feel like things were going to be alright.

I quickly made my way to Macy's bathroom and turned on the shower. I needed to get myself clean. I needed to get Ash off of me. I felt…dirty. I needed to be clean again. The water was hotter than I usually showered in, and I found myself sitting on the floor of the shower after a few moments, tears filling my eyes to the point where I couldn't see.

I glanced down at my body. I had bruises up and down my ribcage from his grip, a handprint shaped bruise on my chest, a bite mark too. I was so sore. My whole body was aching. I was going to have to take more than one Oxy to get through today.

As soon as I felt somewhat cleaner, I quickly got dressed and threw a few pills in my mouth. I had to cover a faint bruise on my cheek, and a bruise on my neck, with foundation, which meant I had on more makeup than usual, but I caked it on until I looked like nothing was wrong.

He was right about my wrists, and my ankles. They were bruised from the rope he had used to tie me to the bed with. My socks would cover my ankles, but I had no idea how to cover my wrists. My new windbreaker was with me though, so I could wear that with my outfit for now, and long sleeves until the bruises faded.

I just wanted to go home at this point. I didn't even care if I got to say goodbye to Macy, or Liam, or anyone else that had passed out here. I didn't care if there were still tons of cars in the driveway. I needed someone to come and pick me up.

The question was, who. Not Mom or Dad, they would suspect something right away. I considered calling Christian. I knew he would come and get me, and he always made me feel safer, but if I called him, he would be able to tell a real party had gone on here last night, and he would know my happiness was all an act. He would know therapy hadn't really changed me.

Mia was an option, but I really wasn't sure if I could trust her to keep her mouth shut. She had so far, but when she got talking, she _really_ got talking. So I wouldn't call her. The logical choice actually seemed to be Elliot. I think he would possibly find a hungover me amusing, and I doubted he would say anything to Mom or Dad.

I dialed his number quickly as I stepped out of Macy's room, bag slung over my shoulder.

" _Hey Pipsqueak, what's up?"_ He asked, obviously having seen the caller ID before picking up.

"Elliot" I sighed. "can you come get me?"

" _Weren't you supposed to be at Macy's all day today?"_ He asked.

I sighed. What did I say to that? "Yeah, I just want to go home."

" _Why are you calling me instead of Mom or Dad?"_ He continued.

"The party got a little out of hand last night." I admitted. "They would notice."

" _Well, I'm out with Ethan and Kate so they'll have to tag along."_ He told me.

"I don't care." I whispered.

Hopefully the Kavanagh siblings could keep their mouths shut about something like this. Surely they had partied in high school.

" _Alright Pip, is this a ride home, or do you want to escape with us for a little while?"_ He asked.

I probably needed to be less hungover by the time I got home. Surely, a day with Elliot would get me looking less zombie like for my parents. "Escape with you guys?" I asked hopefully.

" _Okay, I'll be there soon. Laters Pipsqueak."_ He told me.

"Laters Elliot." I sighed, using his common farewell.

I waited for Elliot outside the front door, away from all the passed-out teenagers that hadn't made it home last night. Well, away from most of them. There were two guys passed out right in the front yard by the driveway. Apparently, everyone had partied hard last night.

Soon enough, Elliot pulled up in a car I didn't recognize. It was a black Mercedes. I simply shrugged and walked up to it, climbing in the back beside Ethan.

"It's my car." Kate explained, noticing my confusion.

"Sorry for making you guys come get me." I told the group.

"It's fine Letty, we were on this side of town anyway." Elliot assured me

"So, crazy party?" Kate asked as Elliot began driving.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"Hangover?" She guessed.

"I took some Aspirin, it's not as bad now." I told her.

"Were those two guys passed out in the front yard?" Ethan asked through a chuckle.

"Two of many passed out people." I told him. "Everyone else was inside, I don't know why they went outside."

"So why me instead of Mia or Christian?" Elliot asked as he continued driving.

"You can keep your mouth shut." I shrugged. "And Christian overreacts."

The interrogation by Kate, Elliot, and Ethan didn't last long, and the afternoon actually went pretty well. We all went out to lunch and then went to see a movie and then went back to Kate's apartment for a little while.

Elliot took me home around dinner time though, and Mom looked at me curiously when we walked in the house together.

"I kidnapped her." Elliot covered for me. "I wanted a day with my baby sister."

"How was your birthday sleepover?" Mom asked with a small smile.

"It was fun." I shrugged. "We were up far too late though, so I'm beat."

"Your father and Mia insisted on ordering Chinese, so they went to pick it up. Elliot, will you be joining us for dinner?" Mom asked hopefully.

"Yeah, of course Mom." He agreed.

Dad and Mia were back soon after my brother had grabbed a beer through the fridge, and kept making stupid hints about me drinking, that Mom thankfully seemed to think was just Elliot being sarcastic. After dinner, I excused myself to go up to my room. The pills I took around lunch were wearing off.

I felt terrible. I felt so much pain once they were out of my system. I needed more. I popped two more in my mouth as soon as I was in my bathroom, and stared at myself in the mirror. Who was I becoming? What was I willing to do to feel happiness?

A part of me wanted to call things off with Ash, and tell him I didn't need his pills anymore so he could find someone else to _please_ him, but a much larger part of me knew I needed the pills. I knew I would do anything to get the pills. I don't want to have to do things to Ash to get more, but I think I am in too deep to stop now though.


	23. Chapter 23: Just To Feel Again

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

Chapter 23: Just to Feel Again

" _I can feel the hurt. There's something good about it. Mostly it makes me stop remembering."_

― _Albert Borris, Crash Into MeLetty POV_

Letty POV

Today is the 4th of July, which means everyone is at our house for a barbecue and swimming, but it also means I get to miss a day of therapy. Well, _miss_ is a strong therapy because it's been rescheduled for tomorrow, but I still didn't have to go this morning.

Honestly, I feel like shit today. I'm all sweaty, despite the decently cool air, and my head is killing me worse than it does even from a bad hangover. I feel super dehydrated, but I've been drinking more than enough water to sustain myself, or I hadn't noticed if I had been drinking any less. Nonetheless, I continued to sit by Elliot and Kate, pretending to listen to them while my eyes went to the water, just staring as the wind blew it in an almost soothing way.

We had made our way towards the shore to sit and watch the water for a bit after having swam for a few hours already. I couldn't help but get nervous as Mom noticed my bruised ribs, but I assured her it was a kickboxing accident and that I was fine.

Mia and Ethan were near us too, more communicative with Elliot and Kate than I had been, all talking about the upcoming wedding. I assumed that's what Mom, Dad, Christian, and Ana were doing where they sat a little further away.

"So Letty." Kate's voice caught my attention. I looked up at her. "Have any boys caught your attention _yet_?"

"Umm, not really." I told her. If only she knew how my attention had been forced to a boy.

I would never tell my family about Ash. I would never even mention his name. They would never know because they would want to meet him. Somehow, I didn't think Ash was a guy that liked to meet the parents.

"Well don't sell yourself short." She told me with a smile. "You're so beautiful you could probably have any boy that captured your attention."

A twinge of guilt hit me. I doubted I could have anyone but Ash as long as I needed that baggy filled with pills. As long as I needed to feel happy, it would just be Ash, and given how I had felt all year, the whole reason I partied so hard, I doubted I would ever feel happy again. It was Ash or find another way to get them, but I didn't even know where to start in looking for drugs.

"The boys are all a bit immature for me." I lied, sending her a small smile I hoped was convincing in the process. Right as I said that, my phone vibrated.

 _Running low yet? -A_

I sighed as I looked at my phone. I was running very low, but I didn't to have sex with him again.

"They'll grow up eventually." Mia assured me with a giggle.

I nodded and glanced down at my phone, coming up with a simple response for him.

Yes. -L

His response was almost immediate.

 _Yes what? -A_

I bit my lip at his response. He would probably hit me for that the next time I saw him.

Yes Master -L

 _Your future payments aren't going to be made at parties. I have my own place. That's where you'll be for payments. Once a week. Tuesdays to be exact. -A_

Once a week? Every single Tuesday? At his apartment? How the hell was I supposed to get someone to drop me off at an eighteen-year-old guy's apartment every Tuesday?

How the Hell do you expect me to do that? I can't drive yet. -L

 _Care to rephrase your last message Bitch? -A_

He was serious about this "Master" thing. I sighed as I typed a message back to him.

How the Hell do you expect me to do that Master? -L

 _You'll get what's coming to you for that. Tell them you're taking an extra kickboxing class in the mornings. It's the same building your kickboxing gym is in. -A_

How the hell did he know where I took kickboxing? I barely knew this guy. How did even know I did kickboxing at all? I decided to do my best to not make him mad though. I needed those pills.

What time do I have to arrive Master? -L

 _11:00AM. Don't be late, you won't like what happens. -A_

My appointment with Dr. Flynn tomorrow was at 9:00, so I could be there at 11:00. Now I just had to talk to Mom and Dad about my new "kickboxing lesson". I was just glad they didn't talk to my trainer like they had when I was younger. They just dropped me off outside of the gym and picked me up afterwards.

"Well someone has certainly caught your attention." Mia smiled, probably after some failed attempts to make conversation with me while I tried to respond to my "Master".

"Just Macy." I told her as I got up and made my way over to my parents who were invested in a conversation with Ana and Christian about the upcoming wedding. I made sure I had on a believable face and waited until Mom finished telling Ana about the different choices for dinner menus.

"Mom, Dad." I told them as I sat on one of the chairs beside them. "I forgot to tell you about my new kickboxing lessons."

"A new kickboxing lesson?" Dad asked.

"Yeah." I agreed. "I, umm, I wanted to add on a third and Micah had a student cancel their lessons for Tuesday mornings at 11:00."

"Three a week?" Christian crooked his head at me.

"Yeah, I need extra training. I've been struggling a bit lately so I need more practice." I lied, trying my best not to look nervous.

"You've never struggled before." Mom told me.

"Yeah, I think I may just need to buff up a little more." I told her calmly. "Everyone else has a solid thirty or more pounds on me so I have to make up for it in strength."

"Well it's fine with us if that's what you want to do." Dad told me.

"Okay, thanks." I nodded, part of me wishing they had said no.

"Are you alright?" Christian asked me, his eyebrows scrunched up as he did so. He was calling my bluff. I knew he was.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I assured him. "Why?"

"You look a little off." He told me as he studied me.

"I'm just tired." I lied.

I was a lot of things, but surprisingly enough, tired wasn't one of them. I was shaky, a little sweaty, dizzy, frightened, nervous, but the pills gave me energy, so at least I wasn't tired.

"Here, drink some water." Mom told me as she passed me a bottle that had previously been sitting in the ice bucket. "You haven't had much to drink today."

I thought back on the day. At breakfast, I didn't have much more than a few sips of juice, at lunch it was a few sips of water, and then not much else. Maybe I was just dehydrated. I took a sip of the water and sat down beside Ana.

"Are you having a good summer vacation?" She asked me with a smile.

"It's been great." I offered what I hoped was a reassuring smile so my parents, brother, and future sister-in-law would all believe me. "I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my friends."

"Oh, how was your birthday party with your friends? I never had the chance to ask you." She smiled as she shook her head. "Personally, I think I would've hated a surprise party."

I froze. I had forgotten the party where my little scenario was worked out was intended to be my birthday party. Vague memories of my birthday shots and the candle on the pot brownie came to me, but I would not tell them about that part. Brief flashbacks to what I had done with Ash came to me, and tears threatened to fall down my cheeks. I was such a whore. If my family ever found out, they would be so ashamed of me.

What did normal birthday parties with a bunch of teenagers consist of? In the past, before high school began, before we were introduced to what partying really was, it was usually video games, maybe some dancing, karaoke, and movies until we just couldn't stay up any longer.

"It was nice." I told her. "Scotland and Macy really outdid themselves with the planning."

And they had outdone themselves, just not in the way my parents, brother, or Ana would assume. Or maybe Christian would correctly assume what I meant by that. His eyes met mine, and the sudden urge to vomit hit me. He most likely knew we were all at least drunk that night, but he didn't know about Ash, or the drugs. As long as he just thought we were partying, I didn't care, well as long as he kept it to himself I didn't care if he thought I was still drinking.

"Can we go swimming now?" I asked them, knowing good and well everyone still had their swimsuits on under their clothes from earlier, or for the guys, as their shorts already. Swimming would get me out of talking much more.

Everyone seemed to agree with this, and soon enough, I found myself thrown over Elliot's shoulders as he ran to jump in the pool. Some things, like my brother being annoying, would never change. I couldn't help the small smile playing on my lips though.

"Elliot!" I groaned after he held me under water a bit too long and I found myself having to gasp to catch my breath.

"It's a miracle she's lived this long with you around to torment her." Kate giggled.

"He was nicer when I was more fragile." I offered with a shrug. "Mia's the lucky one. Well, and Christian."

I glanced to Christian and my heartrate began picking up. His eyes were right on my wrists. The bruising had faded by now though, aside from just a tiny bit left on my right wrist. Surely he couldn't see that, not from so far away, could he?

"I'm going to go and hook my phone up in my room, I'll be back." I offered as an explanation to get away for a minute. I would slip on a bracelet or something and then come back.

"Please dry off before walking through the house!" Mom called as I took off in the direction of the house. I offered a thumbs-up in her direction to tell her I would do as she requested.

I breathed a sigh of relief once I was in my room. I examined my wrist better in the lighting and sighed. How the hell had Christian noticed the faint bruise? I could barely even see it. I glanced at the clock. It was 5:00 right now. The fireworks would start around 9:00 or so, which meant I would need to get some drugs into my system. I didn't want a repeat of the last fireworks incident, not when my whole family would notice, not distracted by guests this time around.

Before I could get to my stash, the door opened to my room. "Juliette." Christian's tone was…well, I wasn't sure honestly.

"What are you doing up here?" I asked him softly.

"I came to check on you." He answered.

"I'm fine Christian." I sighed.

"Let me see your arm." He instructed.

"What?" I asked.

"I saw the bruising, let me see it." He half-growled.

"I'm fine Christian!" I snapped.

"What happened here?" He asked as he held my wrist up to me.

"It's nothing Christian." I sighed.

Shit, what did I say to him? What did I do to convince him it was really not anything to be worried about?

"It looks like someone hurt you." He roared.

"Christian, it was a joke!" I exclaimed. "For my surprise party, my friends handcuffed me with rope and blindfolded me to take me to the main party and they just tied a little too tight."

"Are you sure that's what happened?!" He snapped.

I sighed. Maybe I should just tell him. It would get me out of Tuesday morning "kickboxing", but he would tell my parents. I knew he would. I needed the pills too much to let that happen. I just needed to feel that happiness.

"I'm positive." I lied.

He sighed but nodded and left my room. I groaned. It was going to be an odd evening from here on out. He would scrutinize me. I decided to get into a long sleeve white shirt to go with my American flag shorts, and call it a day with swimming. Dinner was soon anyway. I popped three Oxy in my mouth and made my way downstairs.

I sat beside Ana, who had gotten out of the pool at some point while I was upstairs, and she smiled at me. "Very patriotic." She pointed out.

"I love these shorts, but Mia would kill me if I wore them on a non-patriotic holiday." I smiled.

"Was Christian angry with you?" She asked, just loud enough for me to hear.

I shrugged. "He's always overreacting. You've probably seen that though."

"A little." She admitted, but I gave her a look and she laughed. "Okay, so, a lot."

"He means well, I know he does, but sometimes I do feel like he still sees me as a ten-year-old instead of a fifteen-year-old." I shook my head.

"You'll always be his baby sister?" She offered.

I nodded. "Which is nice…sometimes. Other times, I wish he would just let me grow up a little. He wants to protect me from everything bad that could possibly happen, but sometimes I wish he would just let me live and learn."

"I can try and ask him to back off a bit, though I'm not sure if he would listen." Ana giggled.

"I'm sure you can handle him just fine." I assured her. "Or, for your sake, I hope you can. You are marrying him after all." I winked.

Ana and I sat and chatted right up until everyone was sent to get ready for dinner. Dad had been at the grill for the past hour or so, so I knew his ribs were probably almost ready. Seeing as I was ready for dinner, I simply went and took my seat at the dining room table.

Once everyone joined us, Mom and Dad set plates of food and glasses of champagne in front of everyone and we dug in.

Christian was literally watching me like a hawk as we ate the ribs Dad had made and much to Christian and my delight, Mom's macaroni and cheese. I was quiet as I sat under my brother's stare. I was paranoid he had noticed I was high off my ass right now, but I wasn't acting high. I felt happy, but the Oxy had just served to take the edge off.

After we finished eating, Mia, Kate, Ana, and I helped Mom clear the table and carry out desert. She had made a cheesecake with strawberries and blueberries to add some patriotism to it. Mom always did make a wonderful cheesecake.

After dinner, we all made our way back outside. I settled in a chair between Mom and Mia. Ana and Kate were just a few feet behind us, and all the guys, so Ethan, Elliot, Christian, and Dad, were setting up various fireworks. Usually, we hired people to do things like this, but on the Fourth, we kept it more family than staff.

I watched the fireworks without feeling my heart race like it had at the Coping Together Ball, and for that, I was thankful. The problem was, it didn't excite me. I wasn't happy as I watched the fireworks explode in the sky, I just felt empty. I guess I would have to up my normal dose of Oxy if I wanted to continue feeling happiness. At least I wasn't feeling pain though. At least it was numbness. At least I didn't have flashbacks of my childhood.

After the fireworks ended, we all made our way inside to talk a little more before everyone who didn't live here had to head home. After everyone was gone, I excused myself to head up to bed. I was tired, but mostly, I needed more pills.

I took three different pills, hoping one of them would do enough to make me feel happiness before I fell asleep for the night, not caring which three I took together. But still, the numbness was all I felt as I sat on my bathroom floor.

Why wasn't I feeling again? Why couldn't I feel the happiness I had even felt yesterday with the pills? Maybe I needed Ash to give me stronger stuff. The lack of feeling was too much to handle right now though. I needed to feel something. Anything. Even if it was pain. As long as I could be the reason I felt something, not my past, but my actions, I didn't care what I felt.

An idea crossed my mind. I had heard of people cutting. It made them feel better. It made them _feel_ in general. That's all I wanted. I just wanted to feel.

I found a new razor and broke the top of it so the blades fell out. I put the blades in an empty match box that was in one of my drawers, all except one. I held that little blade for a moment. What did I need to do? Should I do it so I can feel again? Or did I need to just take more pills. I could do both, I suppose. If this didn't help me feel, I would take almost all of what I had left in my stash. I was refilling it tomorrow anyway.

But with that blade, I did feel again. It stung, after a second, but the first thing I felt when I pressed it into my skin was pleasure, and control. It had accomplished just what I wished for it to accomplished. I had felt something.


	24. Chapter 24: Emptiness

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So sorry this is exactly like five minutes late. Finals week is kicking my ass . And for some reason I've decided to do tons of summer classes this summer so it's not going to get much better with time to write but here's chapter 24.

Chapter 24: Emptiness

" _Addiction is a decision. An individual wants something, whatever that something is, and makes a decision to get it. Once they have it, they make a decision to take it. If they take it too often, that process of decision making gets out of control, and if it gets far out of control, it becomes an addiction. At that point the decision is a difficult one to make, but it is still a decision. Do I or don't I. Am I going to take or am I not going to waste my life or am I going to say no and try and stay sober and be a decent person. It is a decision. Each and every time. A decision. String enough of those decisions together and you set a course and you set a standard of living. Addict or human. Genetics do not make that call. They are just an excuse. They allow people to say it wasn't my fault I am genetically predisposed. It wasn't my fault I was programmed from day one. It wasn't my fault I didn't have any say in the matter. Bullshit. Fuck that bullshit. There is always a decision. Take responsibility for it. Addict or human. It's a fucking decision. Each and every time."_

― _James J. Frey, A Million Little Pieces_

Letty POV

 _Tuesday, July 5_

I sat, once again, in Dr. Flynn's office. I was out of summer reading to accomplish, so I would have to remember to bring another book next Monday. He stared at me as I stared at him. I wasn't really staring at _him_ as much as I was staring into space. I was lost in thought. I was lost in thinking about my next _appointment_ with Ash.

What was he going to make me do this time? It couldn't get worse than last time, could it? The cat was out of the bag, I had sex, so it wouldn't hurt as bad this time, would it? I would be fine.

"How was your holiday yesterday?" Dr. Flynn asked me, breaking the silence.

"It was fine." I shrugged.

He frowned as he bit his lip, studying me more. "You know, usually I don't tell you when I've seen your brother, but he told me it was fine this time. He was with me this morning, just a few appointment slots before you."

I shrugged, why did that matter.

"He mentioned he saw bruising on your wrist. It frightened him." He told me softly.

"It was just a dumb thing my friends did for my surprise party." I shrugged. "He overreacted."

"There's usually a reason people overreact. Your brother asked me to share something with you today, but I refused. I think he needs to be the one to tell you what he wanted me to tell you." He crossed his legs. "But I do think you would benefit from allowing yourself to open up to your brother a bit. He is the closest you'll get to someone who understands your past."

"I'll consider it." I lied.

The rest of the appointment went on in silence, not another word offered up when Dr. Flynn would try and speak with me. Once we were finished, I stood up with him and he sighed.

"May I offer up one of my ending quotes again for you to think on?" He asked.

"Do I really have a choice?" I countered.

He smirked and shook his head, murmuring something that sounded like 'So much like her brother', before continuing.

"You have a choice to think on it or not, but not really in me telling you it." He chuckled. "This is by Leonardo da Vinci, 'An arch consists of two weaknesses, which, leaning on each other, becomes a strength'."

I nodded, not really thinking on that quote as I made my way out to the waiting room where Mia was sitting. "We've got time for coffee before kickboxing." She told me.

"Starbucks?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course." She agreed.

We made our way to the Starbucks closest to the gym, and I ordered my White Chocolate Mocha, while Mia got her Caramel Macchiato, but as I sipped, and listened to Mia chatter, all I really felt like doing was vomiting.

"Are you alright Letty?" Mia asked. "You don't look so good."

Probably because I had run out of Oxy after a rough night. I hadn't gotten to take any this morning, and I honestly felt like death warmed over.

"Yeah, just tired." I lied.

"Maybe kickboxing isn't the best idea today." She offered softly. "You look like you're getting sick or something."

"I'll be alright." I lied.

I wasn't going to be alright. I was going to freak the fuck out the minute Ash put a hand on me. Last time I had been high and wasted. This time, unless he gave me something first, I would be completely sober and have to endure his hands all over me.

Mia dropped it after that, and as promised, dropped me off at the kickboxing gym at 10:50, ten minutes before I was required to be at Ash's. I followed the directions Ash had given me and found myself outside a large industrial looking door. I let my fist knock on it and felt my body begin to tremble as I heard the locks moving as someone began to unlock it.

"There you are." Ash smiled at me.

Fear hit me like a ton of bricks. A huge part of me wanted to run. I wanted to run, find Mia, beg her to take me home, and never look back. But I was only feeling the fear because I was out of the drugs. I needed them. I needed the drugs to feel better.

"I'm out." I blurted out, not sure what else to say.

"You've been taking more then hmm? I guess I'll have to add a few extra pills to your reward for today." He grinned. "Come sit, we have a lot to discuss."

I stood in the doorway, eyes wide as he backed out of the doorway. I couldn't bring my feet to move towards the door. I couldn't go inside.

"That wasn't a suggestion!" He snapped.

His tone sure got me moving. I scrambled inside and he slammed the door, locking the many locks on it. I looked around the room. It was a studio, just one room aside from a door I assumed went to the bathroom. There was a couch by a big TV and a few game systems around it, a kitchen area with a bar to eat at. There was a corner made into a bedroom, but it didn't look warm and inviting. The whole apartment was dark, just tiny windows at the top offering some sunlight, not even at a height you could see out of. He only had a few lights on, and the furniture was all black, so everything really did just seem dark and morbid.

Seeing that I wasn't following him, Ash grabbed my elbow roughly and dragged me over to the couch, gesturing for me to sit down. I trembled as I sat on the couch and he watched me for a moment. "We don't have much time, so I'm just going to go over the rules and then we can get to it." He told me.

"Rules?" I asked him.

"Yes Jules, the rules." He glared at me harshly.

I opted to remain silent. I didn't want to make him mad and honestly, I was too frightened to speak to him again.

"First, you call me Master." He reminded me. "I've let it slide so far today, but from here on out, you mess up, you get punished. Second, you only speak when spoken to. You answer my fucking questions or you stay silent."

I nodded silently, trying my best to keep calm.

"Third, and probably the most important, you can never tell a soul about us. Not about me, not about what we do, this is completely private." He told me. "I need to make sure that one is clear, do you understand?"

"Yes." I whispered.

The back of his hand collided with my cheek and I swear I saw stars. My hand instantly reached up to grab my cheek as I looked at him.

"Yes _what_?" He snarled.

"Yes Master." I whimpered.

"Next, you aren't to speak with any male outside of those in your family. So no more dancing all over those assholes at parties. You're mine, all mine, and if you want these" he held up the bag of pills "you'll act as my property."

What would I do about Rocklin? He was my best friend. He was going through a terrible time right now, I couldn't just abandon him. I would have to find a way around that.

"As for parties, you are done with them. You aren't allowed to go out with friends, or to parties. If you aren't at home, you're with me." He told me.

I glared at him. "You have no right to tell me who I can and can't—"

His harsh smack across my cheek cut me off. "We aren't even done going over the rules and you've already fucking broke one!" He snarled. "I guess we'll have to start with a punishment today!"

Tears welled up in my eyes as he grabbed my wrists in his hands and dragged me over to the bed where he threw me roughly on the ground, my head smacking the bed post. He grabbed me from the ground and threw me on the bed, stripping me as I kicked my legs, fighting him, but that just made him hit me harder.

Memories came flooding back, just like the last time I had been with Ash.

…

 _I kicked my legs while Man tried to hold me down so Woman could burn me, but he just hit me harder. He always hit me harder when I fought back._

…

The beating didn't last too long, not as long as it could, but I was in an excruciating amount of pain when he finished hitting me. For a second, I thought that was all he was going to do. I thought I had earned my pills. I was wrong.

Ash began taking his clothes off, and I tried to get up and run, causing him to throw me back on the bed as roughly as he could, tying me to the bed posts like he had at the party. I tried to slip my hands out of the ropes, I tried to get away, but he had tied me too tight.

"PLEASE STOP!" I sobbed as Ash forced himself inside of me.

"Shut the fuck up!" He snarled as he smacked me. "And you call me Master!"

…

" _Shut her the fuck up! She's going to make someone call the cops again!" Man snarled at woman as I sobbed on the ground._

 _He had hit me really hard this time. I felt something snap when he twisted my arm and it all just hurt. I couldn't help crying, not even if it made Man mad._

…

"That's it, just give in." He whispered as I slumped against the bed in defeat. Just like with Man, there was no point in fighting. There was no point in crying. Maybe if I did what he said, it would end faster. "You're such a good fuck."

…

" _Such a good Fuck." Man smiled as he did the thing that hurt the very most._

…

"Our time is up. Here's your fucking pills, we'll finish the rules next week." Ash told me as he tossed pills to me and untied my wrists. "Your sister is probably here. We wouldn't want her to go into the kickboxing gym and not find you."

I nodded in agreement, only too eager to get away. I scrambled to get in my clothes but before I could leave again, he kissed my lips roughly.

"You're mine Jules, all mine." He whispered.

As soon as he took his hands off of my face, I literally bolted out of the apartment and down to the side of the road where Mia was waiting in her car. I threw the door open and collapsed on the seat, whimpering when my spine touched the fabric.

"Are you okay?" Mia asked me, worry clear on her face.

"I'm fine." I whimpered. "I just took a hit to the back. I'll be fine."

"You're crying." She sighed.

I glanced in the rearview mirrors. I hadn't even been aware my eyes were red and puffy or leaking tears. "I'm okay, really."

"Maybe we should go see Mom…" She began.

"NO!" I snapped. "No, Mia, I'm fine." I whispered.

"You never cry." She sighed.

"Not a word to Mom." I warned.

"But Letty…" She trailed off.

"Not a word Mia!" I snapped.

Mia quit trying to talk to me after that, and the rest of the drive was silent. I threw myself out of the car as soon as we got home and made my way up to my room. I needed to take a shower. I needed to get him off of me.

I locked the door as soon as I reached my bathroom and stripped. I gasped when I saw my own appearance in the mirror. I had newly forming bruises all up and down my ribcages, and welts forming on my back. I wouldn't be able to swim, or change in front of anyone for _weeks_.

He had seemingly been careful though. The marks could be covered by shorts and tank tops. My back and abdomen, my upper thighs, they were all covered, but the rest of my skin, even where he had smacked, wasn't going to bruise. I could tell.

I collapsed in the shower, literally sat on the ground, leaned against the wall, and just sat there. I was hurting, I was feeling, but it wasn't up to me. I needed to feel because of something I did. My eyes found my razor, and traveled down to my hip, where there was still a cut healing from last time I had this idea. It had made me feel better to cut my hip though, it had made me feel free. I held my breath as I let the razor dig deep into my skin, and breathed a sigh of relief at the feeling of freeness that came over me.

…

…

 _Tuesday, July 12_

The next Tuesday rolled around way too quickly for my liking. My appointment with Flynn yesterday had been utter silence as I devoured _Great Expectations_ , refusing to say a word to him. I was dreading Tuesdays more than I dreaded Mondays now.

In the past week, I've never felt so alone…so empty. The drugs, the blade, they helped, but they couldn't replace me being allowed to see my friends. I had been explained the rules via a long text from Ash, that I wasn't even allowed to text my guy friends, and all my girl friends were apparently pissed at me for not coming to the parties. But I couldn't take another beating. I would do what it took to get the drugs, but I wouldn't cause myself more unnecessary pain.

My "morning kickboxing" went just as it had the last Tuesday, and put me in an exceptionally bad mood again. I had refused to so much as offer an explanation for my mood as Mia drove me home, and instantly ran up to shower again, scrubbing my skin as hard as I could, trying to feel clean again.

I dug the blade in deeper to the old cut than I usually did, watching the blood flow calmed me. I had caused that. I had made myself bleed, I had made myself feel, not anyone else.

I stayed up in my room until my parents called me down for dinner. I sighed as I made my way downstairs and took my seat.

"How was kickboxing?" Dad asked me.

"Fine." I mumbled.

"You haven't been with your friends lately; do you want to invite someone over?" Mom asked.

"No, it's fine." I disagreed.

"What's bugging you so much Letty? You've been in a mood ever since I picked you up from kickboxing." Mia sighed.

"I'm fine!" I snapped.

"Juliette…" Dad sighed.

"Am I not allowed to have a bad day?!" I snapped as I stood up from the table.

"You need to eat Letty." Mom sighed as she grabbed my arm when I tried to leave.

"I'm not hungry." I told her.

"Did you and Macy get into a fight?" Mia asked.

"Jesus Mia, it's none of your business!" I snapped. "But no, we didn't get into a fight if you _must_ know!"

"Juliette, you need to watch your tone!" Dad scolded.

"I'm just tired! I'm not hungry, I just would like to go up and go to bed." I told them, trying to make my voice sound less harsh.

"Juliette, sit down and finish your dinner!" Dad's voice was a little raised as he looked at me, where Mom still held my arm.

"I'm not hungry!" I yelled.

"Juliette Trevelyan-Grey, sit down right now!" Dad's voice was a full-on snap now. He hadn't snapped at me like that in a long time.

"I'm not five years old!" I yelled at him.

"You sure are acting like it right now." Dad told me. "Now sit down, and eat your dinner."

"Dad, just leave me alone!" I snapped.

"Juliette, listen to your father." Mom broke the awkward silence that resonated as my father and I stared at each other.

I sighed and went to sit back down, but didn't lift my fork. I really wasn't hungry. I just wanted to throw up because of what I had done with Ash today.

"Juliette, eat." Dad scolded me.

"I'm not fucking hungry!" I snapped.

"Alright, that's it. Go up to my study and wait for me. Not another word!" Dad snapped.

"Fine!" I snapped right back as I got up and stormed out of the dining room.

I slammed the door to Dad's study shut, knowing good and well he could hear it, and plopped down in one of the chairs. I put my head in my hands and a single tear rolled down my cheek. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why weren't the drugs keeping me the same happy person as I was at first?

I sat in silence for what felt like ages, but in reality, was probably only a half hour or so, before I heard the door open and looked up, wiping my cheeks off, making sure there was no evidence I had been crying on my face.

Dad moved to stand in front of me, leaning on his desk as he folded his arms. "Do you have anything to say?" He asked.

I knew he was wanting an apology for my behavior at dinner, and my normal self would probably give it to him. I didn't want him to question me on the way I acted though, I didn't want to accidentally give him any information that could make him force me to go to more therapy, like twice a week or something.

"Nope." I told him.

"Juliette." He warned.

"What do you want me to say? Sorry I wasn't hungry? It's not my fucking fault if I'm not hungry!" I snapped.

"Watch your language Juliette!" He snapped. "What the hell was all of that even about?"

"Nothing was bothering me! Everyone keeps acting like there's something wrong with me! I'm fine!" I snapped right back.

"You've been acting off ever since your birthday party with your friends." He pointed out. "We've all noticed. You haven't been spending much time with them either."

"I'm fine Dad okay?" I sighed. "I'm just having a bad day."

"What's making it a bad day?" He asked softly.

"It doesn't matter!" I snapped. "Everyone has bad days!"

"I think your mother and I need to speak with Dr. Flynn." He told me.

I froze. Why? Why would they speak with him?

"Why?" I asked.

"She and I both think you're depressed, or quickly becoming depressed." He told me as he ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm not depressed!" I snapped as I stood up.

"Then what in the world is going on with you?" He asked me, his voice not snappy anymore, just full of concern.

What could I possibly say to that? 'Sorry Dad, I just hate being forced to prostitute myself out so I can have drugs that aren't even making me feel that great anymore'? 'Sorry Dad, I'm just really sore because Ash likes to be rough with me'? I couldn't say anything.

"I don't know!" I yelled.

"Letty." He sighed as he moved to stand in front of me. "We're worried about you. Very worried. The way you're behaving, this isn't normal."

"What more can you ask of me? I go to see a fucking therapist once a week, I have kickboxing three times a week, soccer once a week, I get all my summer assignments done, what the hell more do you want from me!?" I yelled.

"Language." He cautioned. "We want for you to live like a normal kid, a little more carefree, happy, wanting to see your friends. You were doing so well for a while there. Did something happen at your birthday party?"

"Nothing happened!" I lied.

"Why did you have Elliot pick you up?" He asked.

"I'm done talking about this!" I snapped. "Can you just ground me or whatever so I can go to my room?"

"There's nothing I can ground you _from_." He sighed. "You don't even use your phone that much and taking away books is not something your mother and I don't believe in."

"Fine, then can I just go to my room?" I asked him.

"Please talk to me." Dad practically begged, his blue eyes looking like they were about to fill with tears as he studied me. "Your mother and I want to help you, but we can't unless you talk to us. We don't know how to help you if we don't know why you're so upset."

"I don't fucking need help!" I snapped before leaving his study and slamming the door as I ran up to my room and collapsed on my bed.

I probably had about five minutes tops before Mom or Mia came up to check on me, so I quickly ran to the bathroom and took more pills, and dug the blade deep into my hip for the second time that day.

When I heard the knock on my bedroom door, I quickly taped some gauze on the cut and slipped my leggings back up before walking into my room right as Mom walked in.

"Letty." She sighed.

"Mom, just leave me alone." I groaned.

"Sweetheart." She sighed as she moved, reaching out to touch my hair, making me flinch back, and making her in turn, sigh. "This isn't normal."

"Wow, thanks Mom." I told her coldly.

"I'm not saying you're weird, I'm just saying the way you're feeling, it isn't normal. You don't have to feel this way. Your father and I really do want to speak to Dr. Flynn about what we've been witnessing." She whispered.

"And what _have_ you been witnessing?" I asked.

"You're isolating yourself. Not only from your friends, but from us as well. You're barely speaking to anyone; you're eating less than usual and you've dropped some weight. You had improved so much for a while there, we just don't understand what changed." She sighed as she ran her hand through my hair.

"I'm fine Mom." I told her. "I'm tired, can I just go to bed?"

She sighed but nodded, kissing my forehead quickly. "I love you Baby, you know that right?"

"Of course I do." I sighed, not knowing if I really believed it. She would never love me if she knew the truth about what had been happening. How could anyone love someone like _me_? "I love you too Mom."

Mom left me and I threw myself on the bed, curling up on my side as I closed my eyes, trying to just go to sleep so this day could be over.

…

…

 _Saturday, July 23_

"NO!" I sobbed.

"Letty!" Dad's voice was loud, but calm. I felt his hands on my wrist as I shot up in the bed and began trembling. "It's okay Princess, I'm here."

"I'm sorry." I whimpered.

"Hey, it's okay." He whispered as he held me close in his arms.

"I'm fine Dad." I whispered.

He sighed but pulled away. "Your mother got called in early this morning." He explained as I glanced around the room, confused as to why my mother wasn't right at my bedside like she usually was if I woke up like this.

"What time is it?" I asked him.

"10:00." He told me.

I had slept through my alarm. I had missed my morning run. The drugs must have kept me on my ass last night. The heavier stuff I had been rewarded by Ash kept me out cold at night, but more numb than I had ever been.

"You needed the sleep." He told me. "I was thinking you and I could go out sailing today."

"Okay." I agreed.

Maybe sailing would make me feel happy again. Maybe that, with the drugs, would finally let me feel the way I wanted to feel.

"Be ready by 11:00. We'll eat brunch and then head out." He told me as he kissed my forehead.

I quickly got showered and into a pair of white shorts with the windbreaker and hat Mia had gotten me for my birthday a month ago. We ate omelets, yogurt, fruit, bacon, and pancakes, Dad seemingly pleased that I actually ate so much, and then finally, headed out on the boat.

Dad, unlike Christian, let me sail from the very beginning. He didn't make me wait until we were out in more open water. I feel the wheel beneath my hands. Instead of feeling the twinge of excitement, of joy, that I always felt when I was feeling, I just felt nothing. Nothing at all.

I smiled for the sake of my father, but there was no reason for that smile. All I felt was emptiness, like nothing in the world mattered anymore. Not even my own life mattered to me anymore. At least emptiness, and not feeling anything at all, was less painful than feeling pain itself.


	25. Chapter 25: I Felt Nothing

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So I finished the semester off strong, keeping my 4.0 GPA intact even with all the craziness that happened. I start summer classes Tuesday *sigh*, but by the end of the summer I will officially have enough credits to be considered a senior, although, with my double major, I won't graduate until May 2020 (a full year after I would if I were a normal person with one major).

Anyway, I'm rambling about myself. As for the story, I have chapters 26 and 27 completed, and 28 about halfway done, but because of how busy I'm expecting to be, I'll only upload one each Saturday. I'm not really sure how long this story will end up being. Theoretically speaking, I _could_ end the story after chapter 28, and then write a sequel, but I haven't decided yet. So anyway, everyone enjoy this chapter and please guys, review! It makes my day so much better.

Chapter 25: I Felt Nothing

" _It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty."_

― _Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated_

Letty POV

 _Monday, July 25_

I found myself, once again, in Dr. Flynn's office, staring out the window.

"Are you excited for your brother's wedding on Saturday?" Dr. Flynn asked me.

I shrugged. I'm sure I usually would be excited about any wedding, especially Christian's, but there was no joy inside of me when I thought about the wedding. There wasn't excitement. There was just numbness.

"Has something been bothering you lately?" He continued. "You always stay quiet at appointments but these past few weeks, something hasn't seemed right. Did something happen?"

Again, I offered him another shrug. I wasn't about to tell him what was going on with me. I'm pretty sure that letting a guy be your "Master" for drugs was something he was allowed to break patient confidentiality over.

"Your parents spoke with me a week ago. I believe you know that though." He told me.

I nodded, still staring out the window.

"They think you're depressed." He told me quietly. "I can't help but start to think they may be right about that. Your brother has expressed his concerns as well."

I rolled my eyes. Of course he had.

"In order for me to diagnose you with anything though, you need to start speaking to me. You don't have to feel this way Letty. You don't have to feel alone. If you would just speak with me, I could help you." He told me gently.

After a few more failed attempts at conversation, Dr. Flynn finally sighed, and I turned my attention to one of my favorite books _Life of Pi_. I flipped through the pages, only half paying attention. Not even a book, not even one of my favorite books, could distract me from the impending "morning kickboxing lesson" tomorrow.

"Juliette." Dr. Flynn spoke softly. "You know, you can hold onto this silence for as long as you want, but it's not going to do you any good. Do you remember what I told you a few weeks back? That first quote I told you to think on?"

And I did. I remembered those words well. I had thought on them for a while, almost haunted by them, until I chose to ignore them.

" _You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written — behind your silence and your suffering."_

I nodded and he tilted his head to the side as he crossed his legs again while he watched me. "I hope that one day you'll share that story with someone. Even if it isn't me. Help can only be offered to those who allow it, and so many people are willing to give you help if you'd just gift them the opportunity."

Yeah, people may be willing to speak with me, and listen to my problems, but they would never be able to get me out of the mess I had myself in now. Not without me giving up the pills. I couldn't give up those pills, not even for freedom from Ash. I needed those pills more than I desired a life without physical pain. The pills masked the emotional pain, so I could deal with the welts, the bruises. I could deal with the beatings if it meant I didn't think about my past anymore, if I could sleep without dreams.

"Can I go now?" I asked as I glanced up at the clock.

"Our time is up." He sighed. "Unless you wish to tell me something."

"Not today." I told him.

Not today, not next Monday, not ever.

"Then you may go." He agreed.

Without another word, I was up and in the lobby in an instant. I was shocked to see Elliot instead of Mia waiting on me. I guess he had the day off.

"Hey Pipsqueak!" He boomed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him as he hugged me.

"I had the day off, and you have season tickets to the Mariners, _and_ they're playing at home today." He smiled. "And I need someone to go eat buffalo wild wings with me."

I think this would usually excite me, especially going to a game, but I didn't feel any excitement at my brother's words.

" _So_ you and I are going to go home so you can get your jersey and hat, then we're going out and about for the day until game time." He smiled at me.

I simply nodded and let him pull me with him, his arm draped over my shoulder, to the car. He drove us very quickly, getting us home much sooner than Mia was ever able to drive us home. I headed up to my room and quickly got changed into the jersey Elliot had given me for my birthday and my hat. I quickly put a few of the pills into a small baggy and stuck them into my bra. I would need them if I was going to be out all day.

"Is that what you're wearing?" I asked my brother who was literally decked out in Cubs colors, who happened to be the team we were playing today.

"I've got my jersey in the car. I just didn't want to ruin the surprise." He chuckled.

Elliot did everything he could to try and get me to smile throughout the day, even doing the hot wings challenge at Buffalo Wild Wings, and I faked it. I laughed, and smiled, but like with Dad, it was just to make him think he was cheering me up. I may have been right beside my brother all day long, but I had never felt so alone in my entire life.

…

…

Grace POV

 _Sunday, July 31_

I blotted a tear as I looked at Christian in his dashing tuxedo, and Ana in her beautiful white dress, at the front of the aisle.

"You may kiss the bride." Reverend Walsh announced and I broke into a wide smile as Christian kisses sweet Ana chastely on the lips.

My, how she's changed our son. She has brought him to life. She has saved our son in more ways than one. I never thought I would be watching my son marry the love of his life, but now that I did, the feeling was overwhelming as more tears rolled down my cheeks.

All of the guests were applauding. I could see Ana's mother blotting her own tear occasionally as she watched her daughter, and Kate, Ana's maid-of-honor was beaming at the couple but kept glancing at Elliot, Christian's best-man. I couldn't help but wonder if I would be sitting in the same spot for my other son soon.

I glanced at the rest of my family. Carrick wore a proud, wide smile as he watched our son. Mia was ecstatic, bouncing up and down beside Ethan. Letty was the next one I looked at. My youngest had been worrying me so much the past month. She wore a smile as she sat by her date, Rocklin, but her eyes told a different story. They were empty, numb. But as John had told us, until she was willing to accept help, we couldn't do much to help her. She was breaking my heart slowly but surely. I couldn't help but be reminded of Christian at her age, before I made the tremendous mistake of sending him to do work for Elena. I would never make a mistake like that again. I would never send any of my children away as punishment, not even to do chores for someone I considered a close friend.

My thoughts of my youngest left me some as the wedding party got into full swing. My husband and I waltzed with grace on the dance floor together along with several other couples, only stopping when I decided I needed another glass of wine.

Carrick held my hand as we watched our children all dancing. Ethan was dancing with Mia, both gazing longingly at each other as they danced together, both still refusing to admit the obvious chemistry between the pair of them. Kate and Elliot were borderline inappropriate, but I liked to blame the alcohol in their systems for that. Christian and Ana were just so lost in each other's eyes as they danced that I doubted they even knew what was going on around them.

Then there was Letty, with Rocklin. I wasn't sure which one of the children broke my heart more, my daughter, or the little boy I had known for over a decade now. Rocklin looked like he was enjoying himself, but the poor boy looked like he had aged a few decades since I had last seen him. His father had told me when we went to pick him up for the wedding that Rocklin's mother would be lucky to make it to next week. She was getting sicker, weaker, and it had been taking a toll on the poor fifteen-year-old.

Then there was Letty, putting on a happy face, trying to trick us all into thinking she was having fun. She wasn't though. She was broken, devastated, lost in her own sorrow. I think the worst part about Letty was that I had no idea what was going on with my youngest. She was hurting so badly, but wouldn't tell anyone why. I had no idea how to help my poor child.

My eyes traveled to my parents, dancing nearby their youngest grandchild, both eyes staying on Letty, then making eye contact with me. They broke their dance and walked up to us.

"Grace, what is going on with her?" My mother asked me softly as she took my hands.

"Honestly, I don't know Mom. We've been trying so hard to figure that out, but nothing has worked. She's been isolating herself from everyone, even her friends she used to be with 24/7." I sighed as I watched her.

"This is the first time she's seen her best friend in a month." Carrick told them.

"Perhaps I could get something out of her." My father offered.

"Not tonight." I shook my head. "This is the…well, closest to happy, I've seen her in a while."

"I think we should go steal a dance with the bride and groom Grace." Carrick told me.

I nodded in agreement and moved over to my son. He passed Ana off to his father and took me in his arms as we began dancing.

"I'm so happy for you Darling." I smiled as we danced together.

"It was a lovely wedding Mom. Thank you for throwing it." He smiled.

"I'm just glad you didn't run off to Vegas." I teased earning a smirk from him.

"It was tempting." He smiled.

"Does Ana have any idea what your plans are for the honeymoon?" I asked him.

He smiled and shook his head. "None at all. She'll be ecstatic."

"Have you enjoyed your wedding?" I asked him with a smile.

"I have." He agreed. "I think everyone has."

I watched as his eyes traveled to his youngest sister.

"Well, almost everyone." He admitted.

"I know." I sighed as I looked to where Elliot was twirling his littlest sister around on the dance floor. "We're doing everything we can to help her."

"But she doesn't want help?" Christian offered.

I sighed and nodded.

"I was the same way." He bit his lip. "She…she won't even talk to me anymore Mom." My son's voice broke towards the end of his sentence.

"Oh Darling, don't worry about all of this right now. Not today. Not on your wedding day." I sighed as I caressed his cheek. "Today, and for the duration of your honeymoon, you celebrate with your new bride. Your father, brother, sister, and I will worry about your littlest sister for you."

"Easier said than done, but Ana does have a gift for giving me happiness." He smiled.

"I'm so happy for you Darling. You and Ana are going to have a good, long marriage, and I don't just say that to anyone." I smiled at him.

After Christian and I finished dancing, he took his youngest sister in his arms. I smiled as a very happy memory came back to me.

…

" _Christian, dance with me?" A six-year-old Letty asked her eighteen-year-old brother with wide eyes._

 _We were currently at the second annual Coping Together Charity Ball, and Letty was tiring out quickly seeing as it was well past her bedtime. This didn't stop her from working her magic on her brother though._

" _Alright Squirt." He smiled lovingly down at her._

 _I watched as they twirled around the dance floor, Letty not even phased by the large crowd of people as she stood on her brother's shoes, giggling as they danced together._

 _All eyes turned to them as our friends and colleagues smiled at our youngest son and our youngest daughter. It was truly a precious moment._

" _I think" Carrick told me as he pecked my cheek "that she's going to be just fine."_

 _We had been so worried about her lately. Her nightmares had become more frequent, she had been begging to not go to school towards the end of kindergarten, and she had seemed to be regressing back to the Letty we had first met. Seeing her like this tonight was a good sign. It was a sign that we hadn't lost her yet, or possibly a sign that the new child therapist we had found for her to speak with was working. Either way, I couldn't help the huge smile on my lips as my two darling, children danced together._

…

"There's that smile we've been waiting on." Carrick kissed my cheek softly, snapping me back into reality.

I saw what he meant. Letty had a genuine smile on her face as Christian twirled her around. I hadn't seen an actual smile from her in so long, it was reassuring.

"She's going to be alright, isn't she?" I whispered to my husband.

"I hope so." He mumbled.

The dancing continued. Everyone got a chance to dance with my son and daughter-in-law, and I was shocked to see Letty actually dancing with John. She was back to seeming stoic, but at least she wasn't glaring at the poor therapist.

I found myself waiting at the end of the arch with my husband, watching as everyone threw rice at the newlywed couple. I could swear I saw Elliot full on baseball pitch a handful of rice towards his brother but I simply shook my head and laughed.

Carrick and I each hugged and kissed Ana and Christian, my tears from earlier resurfacing, and then Taylor whisked the couple away in the Audi SUV. Before they left, Ana tossed the bouquet of white and pink roses into the crowd of young women that had gathered. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw Mia holding the bouquet triumphantly, a huge grin on her face.

After their departure, the guests began to leave as well. Carla, Bob, and Ray were the last to leave aside from Elliot, Kate, and Ethan. We had one last glass of champagne with them before they were gone too, and the clean-up-team jumped straight into taking down all the decorations in the backyard.

Carrick's phone rang and he excused himself to answer it upon seeing the caller ID. It wasn't work, not today, so I was curious as to who had been urgent enough for him to leave so quickly, but I simply sat with Elliot, Mia, Ethan, Kate, Letty, and Rocklin in the kitchen, watching as they all ate a second piece of leftover wedding cake.

"Grace, I need to speak with you." My husband's voice halted the debate over wine versus champagne the children were having, and I stepped out of the room.

My husband looked devastated. I was instantly worried. Had something happened to Ana and Christian on their way to the jet? What was going on?

"Carrick?" I asked softly.

"It's Willa." He sighed. "Laurence just called."

"What's happened?" I frowned, hoping and praying it wasn't that she had passed.

"She didn't make it Grace. Her heart gave out. They tried to resuscitate her but she was too far gone." My husband's eyes were glazed with tears when he finally finished speaking.

"Are they at the hospital?" I asked him softly.

He nodded. "Laurence doesn't want Rocklin to see the body."

"What did he ask you to do?" I asked softly.

"He wants us to tell Rocklin what happened and asked if there was any way we could have him stay here tonight. He doesn't know what time he will get to leave." He frowned.

"And Madeline?" I asked, thinking of Rocklin's older sister.

"She's at a friend's." He assured me. "How do we tell him?"

I sighed. I had been asked this question by parents of children after a death, but the fact of the matter was, there was no "right" way to tell a child their parent had died. There was certainly a wrong way, but not a "right".

"We tell him honestly what has happened. We don't sugar-coat things. I'm sure Laurence gave you details, so if he asks, try and answer his questions. We tell him as if he is an adult, but we attend to him as if he's a child. He may be old enough to hear the information, but he's going to need a lot of support." I told him softly.

"Do we tell him in front of Letty?" My husband asked.

I tilted my head a bit and bit my lip. That was a tough one. If my child were acting like her usual self, I would say yes. She would offer support to her friend. But given her distance lately, I felt that we should tell him and let him decide how much to lean on our daughter.

"I think we should tell him alone." I disagreed. "We should go. It's not going to get any easier regardless of how long we delay this."

"Alright." My husband sighed as he offered his hand to me.

I took it and we walked back in the room where the children were all sitting on the sofa, laughing and talking. Rocklin looked so cheerful. For once, he didn't look like a child whose mother was dying. He just looked like a carefree fifteen-year-old enjoying himself. We were about to ruin that.

"Rocklin, Sweetheart, we need to speak with you for a moment." I offered quietly.

All the heads turned to look at my husband and I and Rocklin's expression changed. He knew something was wrong.

"We should be heading home." Elliot told us softly as he pulled Kate from the sofa.

They both offered soft goodbyes and hugs to my husband and I, Elliot ruffling Rocklin's hair before they left. Mia stood next and offered a hand to her little sister.

"Let's get your hair down and that makeup off so you can go to bed." Mia offered softly.

My daughter nodded and glanced to Rocklin. "I'll be upstairs, okay?" She whispered.

"Okay." He agreed.

Once the girls were gone, I moved over to the sofa and sat down beside my honorary fifth child, and rested a hand on his back gently. My husband moved to sit on his other side.

"It's my mother, isn't it?" He asked us softly.

"Yes Sweetheart." I answered honestly, running my hand up and down his back.

"Is she—is she…" His voice trailed off, a single tear streaking his cheek. "Did she die?"

"I'm so sorry Sweetheart." I sighed as I wrapped a gentle arm around him, pulling him closer to me.

"How?" He asked softly as more tears rolled down his cheeks.

"It was her heart." My husband answered softly. "She was weak and her heart just gave out."

"Did they try and—did they try to save her?" Rocklin asked, his voice a mix between a whimper and a whisper.

"Yes, they did everything they could. She was just too sick." My husband told him.

"Madeline and Dad?" He asked us, his bright, tear-filled, blue eyes turning towards me.

"Your father is at the hospital. Madeline is at a friend's house." Carrick offered.

"I—I should go be with my father. He shouldn't be alone." Rocklin whispered.

"Sweetheart, he wants for you and Mads to get some rest. He doesn't want you to see your mother like this." I sighed.

"It—it hurts." He whimpered.

"I know Baby." I whispered as I pulled him into my arms, his head resting on my chest like a small child's would. Like one of my children would have if they needed comfort. "I'm so very sorry Rocklin, no words I could say could even begin to offer you comfort."

"Your father wants for you to stay with us tonight." My husband whispered as he rested a hand on the trembling child's back. "Is that okay with you?"

Rocklin nodded, his trembling not letting up in the slightest. "Breathe for me Sweetheart. Take a deep breath."

"I can't." He sobbed.

I sighed and held him even closer to me, holding him as tight as I could but not tight enough to be uncomfortable. I let him sob for a solid ten minutes or so until he was too exhausted to continue crying for his mother. I glanced to my husband, tears glazed over my eyes, and saw his own were puffy and red. We were witnessing, and partaking in, one of the most heartbreaking scenes you could witness. We were witnessing a child grieving the loss of their mother.

"Come Darling, let's get you out of your tux and into something more comfortable." I finally told the child as I pulled him up off the couch with me.

He was so shell-shocked, so terrified, that my husband and I had to practically carry him up the stairs. Letty was still in the shower by the sound of it, so I gently got Rocklin onto the bed. Carrick had grabbed a pair of Rocklin's pajama pants and a t-shirt for him. Rocklin's fingers were shaking so badly he couldn't even get his shirt unbuttoned so I gently reached to help him.

It didn't matter that he was fifteen, not in this moment. He was a child who needed my help. He was just a little boy in this moment. At some point during my getting him ready for bed, Letty submerged from her bathroom, her own pajamas on, expression solely confused.

I found myself tucking Rocklin into the side of the bed Letty typically didn't sleep on, tightly around him. Tears were still in his blue eyes as I kissed his forehead, heartbrokenness the only emotion I could describe on his facial features.

"Mom?" Letty asked softly.

"Letty, a word?" Carrick offered softly, gesturing for Letty to step in the hallway with him.

My daughter followed my husband outside and I ran my hand through Rocklin's hair. I remained silent as I sat with the broken fifteen-year-old. No words I could say could offer any sort of comfort. Not right now. Not when the death was so…fresh, so new.

Rocklin was dozing off as Letty came back in the room, studying her friend carefully as she climbed into bed. Most mothers probably wouldn't let two fifteen-year-olds of the opposite gender sleep in the same bed, and unless it was a rare occasion, usually Rocklin slept in a guest room, but I didn't want him to be alone tonight.

After my daughter had joined her friend, gently running her hand through his hair like I had been, offering me a small nod, telling me she was alright with him, I left with my husband.

"She promised to wake us if he needs us." My husband told me as he walked with me down to my room. "They're going to be alright."

"I hope so." I whispered.

Letty POV

As I sat in my bed, Rocklin's head on my lap, I knew I should feel something. My best friend, someone I had known literally my entire life, had just received some of the worst news of his life. But as I ran my hand through his hair, trying to offer comfort to him as he dozed in and out of sleep, I didn't feel sympathy. I didn't feel heartbroken, sad, or pained. The reality of it was, I felt nothing. The pills I had taken in the bathroom, the blade I had run across my hip, they had served their purpose. I couldn't feel, and that's just how I wanted it to be.


	26. Chapter 26: Unlovable

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: **IMPORTANT THIS TIME:** Okay guys, so chapter 27 is done, chapter 28 is about two thirds of the way done. This being said, you guys will obviously get a chapter next Saturday, but the summer class I have right now is kicking my tail. Like it's so freaking hard I don't even know how to explain it. It ends on June 2nd, so then I'll hopefully be able to have time to write again, so just a warning, it may be a bit before you guys get chapter 28, but you will get it.

Chapter 26: Unlovable

" _I was not a lovable child, and I'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. Draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs."_

― _Gillian Flynn, Dark Places_

Letty POV

 _Tuesday, August 2_

Monday was hard. There's not much else to say about it. Having to watch Rocklin struggle to enter his own home due to the fear of the memories of his mother had almost made me feel again. I had taken quite a few more pills than I usually did. But Monday came, and it went, and now it is Tuesday.

Today marks the first day of mandatory school soccer practices from 1:00-4:00 every day of the week aside from Fridays. I would usually be excited about this. I didn't dread practices like the rest of my friends. I didn't mind the running or the workouts, I usually enjoyed them. This time around though, I'm nervous.

For the first time in my life, I've been struggling with my sports. Kickboxing and soccer are usually easy to me, but the pain I'm in because of my little sessions with Ash make it difficult to keep up. Even my morning runs have become painful.

I can't make it through one morning run, let alone a kickboxing lesson or soccer practice without popping several Oxy. If I snort it before practice, it releases into my system. It makes things hurt less, and my performance increases a great deal.

Currently, I was climbing out of Mia's car for Tuesday morning "kickboxing" practice. I waved at her and cringed as I made my way into the building and up to Ash's apartment. I knocked twice and he opened the door, a cold, hard glare on his face.

"You, get in. Now!" Ash snapped when he saw me.

I nodded and quickly made my way in the apartment. I heard the door slam and then I felt my head getting snapped back via a tough pull to my hair.

"Let go." I whimpered.

"You know the fucking rules by now!" He roared as he smacked me across the face. "I'm pissed Jules, can't you tell?"

I remained silent, earning a slap to the face.

"Answer me damn it!" He roared.

"Why are you angry Master?" I whispered.

"One word. Rocklin." He told me.

"What about him Sir?" I asked softly.

"He was your _date_ to your brother's wedding." Ash practically snarled. "And I think I heard at the party last night from Macy that he slept in _your_ bed."

"His mother had just died!" I snapped, earning a smack across the face.

"I don't give a damn what happened to him. You're mine! You're all mine!" He roared.

"Who the hell was I supposed to take as my date to the wedding then?" I asked him. "Obviously not you."

"Have you forgotten your goddamned manners?" He asked as he smacked me again.

"You can't tell me what I can and can't do when I'm not here! You can't tell me who I can and can't spend time with!" I yelled.

"If you want these" He tossed a new bag of pills in my direction "then yes, I can tell you _exactly_ who you can and can't spend time with. I can tell you exactly what you can and can't do. If you want those little pills, then you are mine. All mine."

"This is nothing more than a way to get what I need for me!" I snap at him.

"Is that really how you're going to speak to me? You love me. I know you love me." Ash told me, landing a punch to the ribcage.

"Please Ash, please don't do this to me today. I have practice." I whimpered.

Another punch. "Don't you get it? You're my whore. Mine. You don't make the decisions here."

I forced myself to block everything around me out as he continued with our "session". He was rougher than he usually was, and I'd be surprised if I actually managed to act even slightly normal at practice today. I would have to take more Oxy than I usually did.

When it was finally time for me to leave, I popped two pills in my mouth, and got out of that apartment without so much as one last look at Ash. I had what I needed. I had the pills to make sure I could live.

…

"Are you excited for practice today?" Mia asked as we headed towards school later on.

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Oh come on." She smiled. "Not only are you back in soccer season with school, one of your favorite parts of the schoolyear, but you also get to see your friends! You haven't seen them in a while."

I sighed. Were they even my friends anymore? Macy hadn't spoken to me since I told them I wasn't going to the movie. Neither had any of the girls. Aside from Rocklin and Alex, who I couldn't spend time with without getting myself hit, none of my friends wanted anything to do with me anymore. In all honesty, I didn't care. I didn't have to bring them down with me.

"Yeah, that's true." I whispered.

"I'm surprised you're not more excited." She told me softly.

"Can we drop this Mia?" I asked. "I just need to focus on the different drills and stuff I'm about to have to do for the next three hours."

The rest of the ride was spent in silence and I was quick to get out of Mia's car once we got to the school. As I got my shin guards, socks, and cleats on, I couldn't help but cringe at the way my so-called _friends_ were looking at me, trying to not seem obvious about the fact that they were talking about me.

"So you finally decide to show your face?" Macy addressed me first.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Where the hell have you been?" She asked me.

"It doesn't matter Mace." I told her.

"You're supposed to be my best friend." She actually sounded hurt. I didn't give a damn though.

"I've been having trouble getting out of the house for parties." The lie rolled off my tongue easily.

"So why haven't you been texting me? Or calling me?" She asked.

"Just drop it Macy." I sighed.

"Is it because you've been sleeping with Rocklin?" Ryleigh asked me.

"What the fuck Ryleigh?" I snapped.

"He's the only one you've been spending time with." She shrugged.

"You self-righteous bitch. His mother just died. Of course I'm going to be there for him." I told her as I stood up.

"The fuck did you just call me?!" Ryleigh snapped.

"A bitch. You sure are acting the part right now." I told her.

"Hey that's a little out of…" Scotland stood up, getting between me and Ryleigh where she now stood right in front of me.

"Takes one to know one right?" Sammy chuckled.

"What the hell is the matter with you guys?" I sighed.

"What the hell is the matter with _us_? What the hell is the matter with _you_ Letty?!" Macy snapped.

"She probably got knocked up. I hear she and Ash have a pretty active sex life." Ryleigh smirked at me.

"I'm not fucking pregnant! You have no idea what the hell is going on with me and Ash! Shut the fuck up!" I yelled.

"Grey, Sutton, Bentley, Moore, Sinclair!" I heard my coach's disapproving snap. "All of you on the field, on the line, right now!"

I groaned. We were going to have to run like hell because of whatever part of the conversation he had just witnessed.

Sure enough, we ran sprints until I thought I was going to die, and then Coach was in a pissed off mood towards us for the rest of practice. I was grateful once practice ended. I didn't linger in the locker room, I just grabbed my stuff and made my way to the parking lot, climbing into Elliot's car. Kate was in the passenger seat and offered a small smile.

"How was pr-" Elliot began.

"I don't want to talk about it." I cut him off.

"That bad huh?" He asked.

"What part of 'I don't want to talk about it' didn't you understand?!" I snapped.

"Jesus, Pipsqueak, sorry." Elliot sighed.

As soon as we got home, I headed up to my room without greeting my parents. I showered and threw on new clothes before heading down to the dining room.

"How was pr-" Dad began as I took my seat.

"Don't ask." Elliot cut him off for me.

As we ate, everyone made some conversation with each other, and tried to speak with me, but I didn't offer up any information. As soon as we finished dinner, Mom began gesturing everyone to follow her to the living room.

"Mom, can I just go up to my room? I'm tired." I sighed.

"Are you feeling okay?" She asked me softly.

"I'm fine, I just need some sleep." I assured her.

"Laters Pipsqueak." Elliot offered softly.

"Laters Elliot." I rolled my eyes.

I made my way up to my room and instantly made my way to the bathroom. I crushed up some pills and quickly snorted them. I wiped off the blade I had just used to cut the Oxy and took my jeans off. After making a few new slashes on my hips, I slipped a pair of sweatpants on.

I dozed off as soon as I hit the bed, and only woke when I heard a knock on my door. I rolled on my side and called a muffled "Come in."

Mom came in, a small smile on her face, but her eyes were sad, concerned. She moved to sit on the side of my bed and reached slowly towards my cheek, going to caress it like she had done so many times. Apparently, my brain didn't register what exactly was about to happen though, because I completely flinched back, and Mom's hand froze in it's place.

I didn't mean to flinch, it had just become habit with Ash. He had smacked me so hard on the face so many times that a hand, even my mother's hand reaching towards my face, had me petrified for a brief moment.

"Are you okay Darling?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I had a big day between kickboxing and soccer." I lied, trying not to show any sign that this wasn't true.

"Maybe you need to take a little break from kickboxing, especially with practice for school soccer every day." She told me as she brushed my hair from my face.

"I can handle it." I told her softly.

"Can you at least go down to once a week?" Mom asked me softly, her voice full of concern.

I froze. She would surely notice if I didn't actually go to kickboxing during the week, so I couldn't ask to just go on Tuesday mornings. I wonder if I could convince her to let me keep going on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons like I had in the past, and tell Ash I would have to come later. He was probably going to have to change up my time with school starting back soon, so maybe he wouldn't be mad at me.

"Can I just drop the morning class?" I asked. "I'll have to once school starts back anyway."

Once the school year started, that would mean I would have practice every day after class until 5:00, then on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, I would be doing something until nearly 7:30. It was the same, with the addition of therapy on Mondays, as I had done last year during school soccer season.

"If you're sure that's what you want to do. With your games being on Wednesdays and Fridays most of the time, that puts you out late every school night." Mom told me softly.

"I did it last year." I shrugged.

"Think about it a little more, and you can make the decision." Mom told me before kissing my forehead. "Get some rest Darling."

Once Mom was gone, I sent a text to Ash, explaining the situation. After a heated text message conversation, filled with caps lock messages and threats, the decision was made that I would see him on Tuesday evenings, when I was supposed to be in kickboxing.

I cringed at the thought. At least with seeing him in the morning, I only had to deal with Mia and the staff for a few hours. I could usually pull myself together by the time dinner started with the addition of a pill. Would I be able to pull myself together in the matter of a few minutes where I would walk to one of my parents' cars?

I did my best to shake the thought, put two of the blue pills, seeing as the Oxy was apparently not working well enough on its own, in my mouth, and closed my eyes.

 _Sunday, August 21_

Today is the day Christian and Ana return. Or not return, but it's the day we are celebrating their safe return with a barbecue. It also sort of doubles as a celebration of the new schoolyear, which starts tomorrow. That's nothing to celebrate in my opinion. That just means I have to deal with my _friends_ on a daily basis. And to make matters worse, Rocklin won't be at school. The school is giving him some time away while he grieves the loss of his mother. As long as he turns in his school work, he can have as much time as he needs.

I'm glad Christian will be back now. I had been on edge without him here ever since the fire in the server room at Grey House. I think it was arson, but who would want to hurt my brother? There was Elena. After the revelations that she had hurt my brother when he was younger had come out at his birthday party, Mom had pretty much bad mouthed her enough to her friends to have Elena considered a sort of black sheep.

Mia, Elliot, and I didn't know the details of what exactly Elena had done to Christian, just that it was something bad enough to upset our parents enough to want to ruin Elena's life. Serves that bitch right in my opinion. I'm not so sure that Elena was the one to start the fire though. I don't think she would be capable of something like that.

Dad looks a bit ridiculous in his chef's hat and _Licensed to Grill_ apron as he stands at the barbecue. I think anytime anyone gets a look at him, they can't help but smile. Ana, especially, seems to be in good spirits. Everyone does, except for me. I can't feel happiness, not easily, but at least I can't feel the pain I usually felt.

I was sitting between Mom's empty seat and Elliot, watching as Mom and Mia put various salads on the table of the terrace. Elliot was currently exchanging friendly insults with Christian, which I rolled my eyes at, but I was more interested as they talked about the plans they had for the house Christian had bought for Ana and himself.

I paid a bit of attention to Ana and Kate's conversation as well. Kate was asking about Ana and Christian's honeymoon. "So if you can get the plans finalized with Gia, I have a window September through to mid-November and can get the whole crew on it," Elliot's statement caught my attention as he wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulders.

"Gia is due to come over and discuss the plans tomorrow evening." Christian replied. "I hope we can finalize everything then." He turned to look at Ana.

"Sure." Ana smiled at Christian before spacing out a bit.

"Ana," Kate exclaimed. "You still in the South of France."

"Yes." Ana replied with a smile.

"You look so well." Kate offered, but a small frown found her lips.

"You both do." Mom beamed as Elliot refilled all of the wine glasses aside from mine, which he only put a few sips worth of wine in.

"To the happy couple." Dad raised his glass, making us all follow suit.

"And congratulations to Ethan for getting into the psych program at Seattle." Mia chipped in proudly as she smiled at Ethan, earning a smirk. I swear those two are going to be an item soon enough.

"And I think good luck is in order for the youngest." Elliot smirked at me. "Here's to hoping she doesn't get thrown out of school this year."

"Hey, I behave." I defended myself.

"And she gets impeccable grades." Dad kissed the side of my head.

"Sophomore year huh?" Kate asked me. "Any interesting classes?"

I told Kate about the classes I was taking, and she was impressed at the amount of AP and honors courses, asking me what I was thinking for college.

"Yale." I sent a joking look at Dad who cringed.

"She'll be a Harvard girl." Dad assured Kate with a smirk towards me.

That day old banter we had about Yale versus Harvard. I would tease him until the day I actually headed off to Harvard about picking Yale instead.

I listened as Christian went over the detailed itinerary of his and Ana's honeymoon. I had been a few of the places they had visited before, and I knew Christian had spoiled Ana rotten at all of them. She had been given the trip of a lifetime.

For dessert, we had strawberries and cream, but in typical Seattle fashion, the heavens opened up and rain began soaking all of us. We were quick to gather all the plates and glasses from the table and heading into the kitchen.

"Good thing the weather held off till we finished." Mom smiled as we made our way to the den.

Christian made his way to the piano and began playing softly as Mom asked Ana about how she felt of Saint Paul de Vence, which was where she and Dad had honeymooned. Kate and Elliot were all cuddled up together, while Ethan, Mia, and Dad were in deep conversation about psychology. I was listening to Christian, not joining any of the conversations. It was then that I heard him singing, and by the halt of conversation, everyone else heard him too.

He was wonderful. I had never heard him sing before, I don't think anyone had. Once Christian realized people were paying attention to him, he stopped and turned towards us.

"Go on," Mom urged him softly. "I've never heard you sing, Christian. Ever."

Everyone began talking softly again, probably to get attention off Christian so he wouldn't stop playing, but I just kept listening to him. I see Mom wrap Ana in her arms out of the corner of my eye and whisper something to her, but my main focus is on my brother.

He had gotten better. He was getting normal. Apparently, unlike me, he wasn't going to be eternally fucked up. It was a sobering fact. My brother had overcome his past, and I was still haunted by mine. I am weak. I well never amount to anything in comparison to him. I will never be as good as Christian. Or Elliot, or Mia for that matter. I will always be the disappointment. I will always be the fucked up person I am today.

After everyone left, I excused myself to my room. I told my parents I was going to make sure my backpack was packed and that everything was organized. Mia offered her assistance but I declined and head up on my own.

I b-lined straight for my bathroom and locked the door behind me. All of the food, which wasn't much, I had eaten came right back up. I don't know if it was because I hadn't taken enough pills today, or because I was starting to realize just how terrible of a person I was, but either way, it happened. I quickly brushed my teeth and dug for my hidden stash of pills and the razor blade.

I cut up several pills, mixing their powders together to snort. After the high started, I ran the blade across my hip, watching as the blood poured out of the scar that was beginning to form from the repeated cuts I inflicted on it.

The cutting has helped almost as much as the drugs. It causes pain, but pain I can control. It's one of the few things I can actually feel, but I control when or if I feel it. It makes me feel free to run the blade over my hip.

The only other physical pain I feel is when Ash beats me. I've done research, and promptly deleted my browsing history, and I know that what Ash does to me is not healthy. I know it is not what the BDSM community is supposed to be about. In spite of all this, I will continue letting him do whatever he wants to me. I need those pills.

At first, I thought that maybe I could stop. There was a small piece of me even a few weeks ago that had decided I would stop taking the drugs, stop going to see Ash. I told Mom I was exhausted from practice on that Tuesday, and had in turn, not gone to "kickboxing". I had about a billion text messages from Ash, all of which, I chose to ignore.

Come the next day, without any drugs to take, I felt awful. I was shaky, nervous, sweaty. Mom even kept me home that day, thinking I had the flu. I needed the drugs, and I needed them quick. I had paid for it the next Tuesday, when I went back to "kickboxing". I don't think I've ever been hit so hard in my life. I didn't care though. He gave me the pills that took away the emotional pain. That's all that mattered to me.

I composed myself and made my way to my bedroom. Mom came in to say goodnight to me around 11:00, and I quickly dozed off after she left, dreading the first day back at school.

 _Saturday, August 27_

I have officially survived the first week back at school. Just barely, but I made it. My so-called friends are making my life miserable, I'm still being forced to see Dr. Flynn, and Ash laid it into me pretty harsh on Tuesday night. I'm struggling to keep up with basic assignments and my game has been off. I missed a wide-open shot in our game Thursday night, and got an earful from my coach. I've learned that the only thing I can rely on is the drugs. They are the only thing that can give me even a taste of happiness, if you can even call it that, even if it is very temporary.

All my siblings are gone for the weekend. They've headed to Christian's place in Aspen. They asked me to come along, but I was nervous about being around Christian for such a prolonged period of time. He could always read me like an open book, and I was lucky he hadn't noticed my recent change in behavior. I would've spilled my guts to him had he taken me along. Plus, I would have held Mia, Ethan, Ana, Kate, Elliot, and Christian back from activities I was deemed to young for like clubbing and drinking and stuff. Oh, if only they knew how experience I was in those areas.

Dad had some huge case he was working on today, so I hadn't seen much of him, and Mom got called in on an emergency at the hospital, so I found myself sitting by the large window in my room, watching as rain fell. The same emptiness I had become accustom to was all I was feeling right now. This had all become so normal.

 _Wednesday, September 7_

I was shocked when I headed out to the parking lot after practice and saw Christian's car instead of one of my parents' cars. Today had quite honestly been terrible. I had bombed a simple quiz in my honors English class, I had failed my lab in AP Biology, and I had received my grade back on my AP French test from Monday, which was just one point above the failing line.

Macy had apparently set out to make my life miserable today as well, making any and every snide comment she could think of to push my buttons, and to top it all off, I had received news that Rocklin wouldn't be coming back until after Christmas break most likely.

This week as a whole had been pretty awful though. Monday, Dr. Flynn had tried to get me to talk to him about my childhood, and apparently even while remaining silent, I couldn't contain my temper much and knocked a vase off his desk, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

Tuesday, Ash had decided to blindfold me and then let some other godforsaken person fuck me. I didn't see him, and Ash was careful not to say his name, but I did catch onto the fact it was Ash's brother and that he was older. He was probably too old to fuck a fifteen-year-old legally, but there wasn't much I could do about that. I didn't have a clue who it was.

Everything around me was starting to crumble. Things were getting bad. I was falling deeper and deeper into darkness, and that light at the end was becoming harder to see. I could really only see it if I took pills, and just for a brief moment at that. All I knew for certain was now that I was in this spot, nothing could bring me out of it. I would have to keep taking the pills, which meant I would have to keep letting Ash do whatever he wanted to do with me.

"Hey Letty." Christian smiled at me happily as I got in the passenger seat of his card.

"Hey." I offered softly.

"You okay?" He asked as he began driving.

"I'm fine." My voice came out as a snap and I shook my head at that. I was trying to act normal. "Where's Ana?" I softened my tone.

"She's at home. She's cooking dinner for us." He chuckled.

"You're letting her cook instead of Gail?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, knowing that was probably Ana's doing and not Christian's.

"She's a great cook." He shrugged.

"Not what I meant." I offered a small smile. "I mean you're not spoiling her for once? Let me guess, Ana asked to get to cook sometimes?"

"Mostly on weekends but she wanted to cook for you." He told me.

"Where are Mom and Dad?" I asked him.

"Mom is working past her shift because of a school bus crash. Dad had a business dinner with his firm." He told me.

"So you volunteered for Letty-sitting?" I half-joked, but my tone had underlying seriousness in it. I could tell my parents had been worried about me, just by the way they looked at me sometimes, but anytime they tried to talk to me, I brushed it off.

"Beat out Mia and Elliot for it." He chuckled.

"Let me guess, first one to the top of the stairs won?" I smiled a bit.

"Bingo." He smirked. "In all seriousness, I haven't gotten to spend much time with you lately. Neither has Ana. I thought you might like to get to see her away from everyone else and have a chance to speak with her."

"Okay." I agreed with a shrug. That was fair enough. I hadn't had much time with my sister-in-law away from the rest of the family.

"She's excited to come to your soccer game tomorrow." He continued. "I never knew she was a soccer fan until your last game. Apparently, her father used to watch it with her so she's quite the spectator."

"We lost the last game." I frowned. I hated losing.

"Well, Ana would tell you that was because of a "ridiculous call". She says there was no way you were off-sides when you received that pass and your goal should have counted. I think she's still a little fired up about it actually so you may not want to bring it up." He laughed.

"My game's been off all season." I admitted. "It wouldn't surprise me if I wasn't focused enough to make sure I was on-sides."

"Why has your game been off?" He asked.

"I don't know. I think I may just be a little burnt out." I lied. I loved soccer. I would always love soccer. But I had played for twelve years now so maybe he would buy that excuse.

"You've seemed off since school started." He told me softly.

"Have I?" I asked.

"Yes." He pierced his lips. "Has something been bothering you?"

 _You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written- behind your silence and your suffering_. Could I tell Christian anything that had been going on with me? Was there anything at all I could share with him to get off my chest without getting in trouble? I doubted it. Part of me really wanted to open up to my big brother. He had healed, he had made it. Maybe he had some tips. But a greater part of me, one that would always win, knew the minute I told him about all of this, it would be over. I would have no access to drugs or anything sharp. Those were the two things I needed most.

"Not really. School has just been stressful this semester." I lied.

I glanced at my brother. His eyes were on my wrists seeing as we were at a red-light right now. I could swear he was staring at the bruises. The bracelet had slipped a little, and the bruising was just barely peeking out. Surely he hadn't noticed though, right?

I quickly moved my hand to "fix my hair", and Christian's gaze went back to the road right as the light turned green.

I greeted Ana once we got to Christians, but headed straight for a shower. I was glad I still had a few Oxy in my soccer bag. That would get me through dinner. As soon as I was clean, in new clothes, long sleeves this time, and had the pills in my system, I made my way to the kitchen.

I sat on a barstool and watched while Ana cooked. It smelled amazing. It looked like she was making stir-fry and my stomach actually growled at the smell.

"Christian is taking a phone call in his study." Ana offered as she turned to look at me. "How are you today? Good day at school?"

"Yeah, it was fine." I lied as I rested my elbows on the counter and my head on my hands. "Good day at work?"

"It was a little tedious but yes." She agreed. "And school was _fine_ huh? I used to tell my father school was fine when it was anything but."

"Not a day that will make my list of top ten days." I chuckled.

"You have a list?" She asked.

I nodded with a shrug. "Don't you?"

"I haven't thought much of it but I'm sure I have one in my head." She smiled. "So what's on your list of top ten days then?"

That was a question from someone I could actually answer. That wasn't a question that could get me in trouble and it was innocent coming from Ana. It wasn't Dr. Flynn, Christian, Elliot, Mia, or my parents trying to fish for information. It was rooted in pure curiosity.

"Number one is probably the day my parents told me I was going home with them forever." I told her gently. "I'm sure Christian has told you how Mom saved him, well, she saved me too."

"Your parents are wonderful people. I could only aspire to be like them if Christian and I ever have children." She nodded in agreement.

I raised my eyebrow at that, but decided not to ask about a discussion on children she and my brother had possibly had in the past. I didn't want to press for too much information.

"Number two is actually the first Father's Day I ever spent with my new family." I continued.

"What happened then?" She asked.

"On Father's Day we always go sailing. We take a picnic and sail. Sometimes we sail to Victoria or Vancouver. We've even done an overnight sail all the way up to Alaska. Sometimes we just sail on open water. Well, the first sailing trip I ever went on with the family was when I found my love for sailing. Christian isn't the only one who fell in love the first time Dad had him on a sailboat." I chuckled.

"What's number three?" She asked with a smile.

"Disney World." I laughed at the memory. "It was fall break after Mia had gone off to college and I was in desperate need of some sibling bonding so Mom and Dad took us all to Disney World. I actually got Christian into a pair of Mickey ears."

"So Christian does know how to let his youthful side show?" She offered, her tone half-joking, half-serious.

"Mom always said I can bring out a special side of him." I smiled.

"Fourth favorite?" She continued.

"The first time I learned how to ski. Christian was actually the best teacher, but don't tell him I said that. It will only boost his ego. Fifth favorite day was when he first taught me how to play a song on the piano. It was one of my very first days at home." I smiled.

Ana's eyes melted a bit. I bet she was trying to picture Christian with a young child. I had a feeling she didn't know there was an even softer side to my older brother than he saw with her.

"Sixth favorite?" She continued.

"It's going to sound so strange but actually when Elliot dropped me on my head when I was younger." I giggled.

"What?" She asked through a small laugh.

"Elliot tried to pick me up by my ankles when I was around eight and didn't get a good grip so when I wiggled, he dropped me. Just imagine a younger, even more immature, Elliot Grey trying to bandage up a bleeding eight-year-old and hide it from his mother." I laughed.

"I bet your mother wasn't too happy about that." Ana smiled.

"Oh she was absolutely furious." I agreed.

"Who was absolutely furious?" Christian's voice caught my attention.

"Mom that time Elliot dropped me on my head." I smiled.

He cracked a smile at that. "I don't think Mom has ever given any of us an earful to that extent. I thought she was going to actually kill him."

"So obviously Elliot hasn't changed much." Ana offered softly.

"Still a goofball, but believe it or not, he has matured." I shrugged. "He can be very serious if he has to be."

"I'll have to let Kate know her future husband can be mature if the need arises." Ana smiled.

"I actually forgot they were engaged." I smiled thinking of how excited Elliot was when he called Mom and Dad to let them know Kate had said yes to his proposal.

"Let's just hope they don't reproduce any demon spawns anytime soon." Christian joked.

"Yuck." I stuck my tongue out.

Ana's cooking really was divine. And I don't say that about just anyone's cooking. I have an "expensive pallet" in Mom's words. Ana's stir-fry tasted just as good as any restaurants could ever taste, and I ate a little more than I had in the past few weeks.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" Christian's eyes were on my still half-full plate.

"I'm not very hungry." I told him.

"You haven't eaten very much at family dinners recently either." He told me seriously. "With how much you work out you really need to…"

"Christian, I'm fifteen. I can eat however much I feel like eating." I cut him off.

"You're getting thinner too Letty" he continued "you can't afford to lose weight."

"Christian, drop it." I cautioned.

"What is going on with you?" He finally asked.

"Christian." Ana sighed.

"No, Ana, something is going on with her and I want to know what. You've been distant from everyone recently so what is going on?" He asked.

I glared at him. "I don't want to talk about this."

I wasn't sure if that was true or not. I probably did want to talk about it, but I couldn't. I had to keep doing what I was doing if I wanted to get the drugs.

"Juliette." His tone was harsh and I glared at him even harder.

"Take me home." I told him.

"No." He told me.

"Take me home now Christian!" I snapped.

"Not until you tell me what is bothering you!" He snapped right back.

"Ana, please take me home." I glanced at my sister-in-law.

"She's not taking you either." Christian disagreed.

"She can decide for herself!" I yelled. "I want to go home!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He snapped as I stood up, he was on his feet right after me.

"What the hell is wrong with _me_? What the hell is wrong with _you_ , Christian?!" I yelled. "I don't have to tell you every fucking detail of my life!"

"Don't talk to me like that!" Christian roared.

"Christian, just calm down. I'm going to take your little sister home." Ana stood up too and rested a gentle hand on Christian's shoulder.

He seemed to calm at her simple touch. His gaze softened just a tiny bit, but he still had a glare directed at me.

"Ana, you may not know her as well as me, but surely you see something is wrong here." He spoke calmly to his wife.

"Nothing is fucking wrong with me! It's not your place to say anything!" I yelled.

"Christian, just calm down. You can't force her to talk to you if she doesn't want. She's fifteen, not five. I'm going to take her home so you can both calm down. You all can speak to each other once you can be civil and hold out a normal conversation. That isn't going to happen tonight." Ana told him as she looked to me. "Go ahead and get your things."

It was quiet in Ana's car as she drove. I stared out the window as rain fell from the sky, trying to mull over the disagreement I had just had with my brother. Ana didn't speak at first, she just left me to my thoughts, but eventually she did clear her throat.

"You two are similar in some ways. A lot of ways." She told me softly. "I think that may be why you butt heads so easily. He's just worried about you."

"He has no reason to be worried about me. He has enough to worry about without having to worry about me." I told her.

"You don't like having others worry about you." Her statement, I think, was meant to come off as a question, but it was definitely a statement more so than a question.

"I don't see the point." I admitted.

"The point in what?" She asked gently.

"In people worrying about me. I'm fifty shades of fucked up and that's never going to change, regardless of how much people worry about me. They should save their time and effort for someone who isn't broken beyond repair." I told her.

"You aren't broken." She spoke after a few moments of silence. "You've been through hell and back in your life. That makes you strong, not broken. You aren't just something that can be thrown out if something isn't quite up to par, you're a person. You are easy to love Letty, and you aren't broken beyond repair, or even broken at all."

I wish she was right. I wish all of this could just go away. I wish someone could fix me. If she knew everything that was going on, she would agree with me. I would never be fixed. Nothing could fix me.

"You have no idea." I sighed.

"Then talk to me." She told me gently. "You can talk to me. I may not be the best at advice, but I'm a good listener. I know you and I haven't spent much time together yet, but I do care about you. I love you. Your family loves you. _Christian_ loves you so much too."

They may love me right now, in this moment, but the minute they learned what I had done, they wouldn't love me. They would see me like the whore I had become. The druggie whore at that. They would hate me. That's why they could never know what happened.

"Can we stop talking about this?" I asked her softly.

She nodded and continued driving, turning the radio up a little. She dropped me off at home and I was instantly up in my room.

I wish Ana was right. I wish I was fixable. I wish I wasn't broken. I wish I was strong. But she is so very wrong about me. I am broken beyond repair. I am weak. I am not easy to love. In fact, I am completely unlovable.


	27. Chapter 27: Taken

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So, here's chapter 27. I think a lot of you will get some answers you've been asking me for in it. I do have something to address: a guest reviewer posted some pretty awful things. Not necessarily about my writing but just about how Letty is spoiled and all of that stuff. I don't really care about this, it doesn't offend me, but they posted something that I was afraid if someone read in a vulnerable state it could upset them, so I deleted the reviews that I thought some of you guys might have found offensive. So if any of you saw that before I had a chance to delete it, I apologize if it got to you guys. I won't say exactly what it said, but it was regarding suicide, which for me, is a very sensitive topic. My brother killed himself last year, and I found his body, so call me overly sensitive, but I didn't want a silly review to contribute to any pain a person may have been feeling.

Well, that's enough for the AN, so here's chapter 27. Please let me know how you guys liked this chapter. It was tricky to write. I didn't want to get too—detailed? Brutal? Graphic? It'll make more sense what I mean by this as you read. I guess there are a few triggers in here, but I tried to write in a way to not make it graphic.

Chapter 27: Taken

 _-"Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,_

 _but to be fearless in facing them._

 _Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but_

 _for the heart to conquer it."_

― _Rabindranath Tagore, Collected Poems and Plays of Rabindranath Tagore_

Letty POV

 _Thursday, September 15_

Mom dropped me off at school reluctantly that day. She thought I was coming down with a bad cold, but I knew better. The reason I was seemingly feverish, the reason I was tired, it was because I was low on the drugs. Ash hadn't given me many on Tuesday, just enough for that day to be honest. He said the rest would come later in the day.

I was headed in the building when I felt a hand grab my arm. I turned and froze. Ash had a grip on me. Ash was at school.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him as he pulled me away from the door, glancing to make sure Mom's car was long gone as he pulled me with him.

"I have plans for us today. It's how you'll get your weekly fix. I already emailed the school from a fake email so they won't be looking for you. They think you're sick." He told me. "Come on."

He practically dragged me to his car and I climbed in, watching him with cautious eyes. This was new. He had never pulled me out of school, and never changed our set time without texting me well in advance first.

I didn't speak as he drove. Anything I asked him would probably get me smacked, and I didn't want him to take his hands off the wheels.

I followed him into the apartment, saw two other people, and before I could register who those people were, a hand went over my mouth, I smelt something weird, and everything went black.

When I woke up, I was first aware I was not in Ash's apartment. My hands were handcuffed to the headboard, ankles to each bed post. The room was…gross. It was run down, windows boarded up, barely any light coming in, but it seemed dirty.

I sat up a little and noticed Mia. She was in the corner, and looked like she had just woken up to. She had probably been knocked out too. "Mia." I breathed.

"Good, you're awake." I heard Ash chuckle.

"Ash, what the hell is going on? What the hell is this?" I asked as I tried to pull my hands free.

"Shut the fuck up Bitch, you know the rules!" He snarled as he smacked me across the cheek.

"Where are we Sir?" My voice squeaked.

He smacked me again. "Speak only when spoken to. I've met your sister now, so it's only fair you should meet my brother. Jules, this is Jack Hyde."

Jack Hyde? Ash was Jack's brother? The man that had been in jail recently because of Christian and Ana? The man that they both feared, even if Christian wouldn't admit it?

I glanced up and looked at the man. Looking at them together, I could definitely tell they were brothers. Same height, similar build, same eyes. Their hair was different, Jack's long and blonde while Ash's was shorter and light brown, but aside from that, they looked so similar.

"Go on Dear Brother, I think you should show Mia here how much of a little whore her sister is." I hear the voice of the man who had struck so much fear into Christian and Ana.

"I think she needs to learn what all her sister has been up to first Jack." Ash smiled, with what I could only explain as an evil smile. It sent chills down my spine

"Before you explain that, I think it's fair to tell Mia that this was all my plan. You don't get the credit for all of this Little Brother." Jack smirked.

"Ash, please!" I sobbed. Mia couldn't know. She couldn't know what we had been up to. She couldn't know about the drugs and definitely not about how I got them.

This earned me a punch so hard to the face I blacked out for a bit, having to force myself to not stay awake.

"Is that how you address me?" He asked.

"No!" I sobbed, earning a kick the ribs.

"No what?" He asked.

"No Master." I whispered.

"You see Mia, I always thought your sister was beautiful. Even before I knew she was related to the man who we responsible for ruining my brother's career." Ash began.

"When we did make the connection." Jack continued for him. "I instructed my brother on what he was to do with her. Ash had been watching her, and noticed a common theme in your sister. She liked to get drunk. Not just tipsy, completely wasted. He's good at reading people. He knew there were most likely underlying issues at play."

"So next, I offered your sister one of these." Ash's hand shook a bag of bright blue pills. "It all started with this. Know what they are?"

Mia stayed quiet. I wasn't sure if it was because she was drugged, which I had assumed based on her current state, or if she didn't know, but she didn't say a word.

"Ecstasy. Or, Molly as most people call it." Ash continued. "I knew once she tried these, she would be putty in my hand. So then, Jack instructed me to get her hooked on more than just the Molly, so this." He shook a bag like the ones he gave me every Tuesday. "Became her newest desire. All those times you dropped her off for "morning kickboxing", that was really when she paid me for these. The first time I fucked her, she begged me to stop, but I didn't. Now, she's trained. Now, she lets me do it to her. She doesn't even try to stop it."

"I wouldn't just call it fucking. It's much more than that." Jack laughed. "She's his toy. He gets whatever he wants with her, all because she wants those pills."

"It's a payment I enjoy much more than cold hard cash I get from most of the kids at parties." He laughed as he smacked me. "Now, I think your dear baby sister should show you what we do when we're together."

"Please don't." Tears trickled down my cheeks as Ash's hands began undoing my clothing. "Please don't do this. I don't want to."

"I know you're lying." He smacked me. "And you know the rules. Only speak when spoken to. I guess you'll get a flogging before we begin."

It was too much. Mia watching it all happen, no drugs still in my system. I couldn't quit sobbing, which only pissed Ash off even more. It hurt, so bad. Anytime I so much as whimpered, he hit me harder with the whip, right on top of the welts still fresh from Tuesday. He was relentless this time with me, not even thinking about hitting me where clothes could cover the marks he was surely leaving.

After he was done beating me, he fucked me harder than he usually did, and then once he was done, I saw Jack starting to strip. Tears rolled down my cheeks rapidly. There was no way Mia and I were making it out of here alive, not after she witnessed all of this. They would kill us.

"Remember that time you were shared? You were blindfolded then, but now, you can watch me." He whispered as he smacked me across the face.

Jack was even worse to me than Ash had been, and once he was finished, he took to beating me, harder than Ash had. Harder than anyone had ever hit me. I felt myself losing consciousness as he un cuffed me and flipped me on my stomach. Pain was coursing through my body. It hurt so bad that I think I went into shock or something. My body trembled as he forced himself inside of me again, but I didn't feel it. I couldn't move. I couldn't fight. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. Darkness came in one giant wave, and I greeted it like a friend.

Ana POV

After my lunch—another cream cheese and salmon bagel, which I manage to keep down—I sit staring listlessly at my computer, looking for inspiration and wondering how Christian and I are going to resolve this huge problem.

My Blackberry buzzes, making me jump. I glance at the screen—it's Letty. Shouldn't she be in school? I had received many phone calls from Christian's younger sister, but not his _youngest_ sister. Letty had called me maybe two or three times, and the fact that she should be in class right now, but was still calling me, had me answering in a heartbeat.

"Letty?" I asked, not even trying to hide the concern in my tone.

" _Well, hello there, Ana—long time no speak."_ The male voice is familiar.

 _Fuck!_

My scalp prickles and all the hair on my body stands to attention as adrenaline floods through my system and my world stops spinning.

It's Jack Hyde.

"Jack." My voice has disappeared, choked by fear. How is he out of jail? Why does he have Letty's phone? The blood drains from my face, and I feel dizzy.

" _You do remember me."_ His tone is soft, but I can sense his bitter smile.

"Yes. Of course." I answer automatically, mind racing.

" _You're probably wondering why I called you."_

"Yes."

 _Hang up._

" _Don't hang up. I've been having a chat with your little sister-in-law. Both of them actually."_

 _What? Both of them? Mia and Letty! No!_ "What have you done?" I whisper, trying to quell my fear.

" _Listen here, you prick-teasing, gold-digging whore. You fucked up my life. Grey fucked up my life. You owe me. I have the little bitches with me now. And you, that cock-sucker you married, and his whole fucking family are going to pay."_ His voice was venomous.

What the hell? "What do you want?"

" _I want his money. I really want his fucking money. If things had been different, it could have been me. So you're going to get it for me. I want five million dollars, today."_

"Jack, I don't have access to that kind of money."

I hear him snort. _"You have two hours to get it. That's it—two hours. Tell no one or Mia gets it just like the little one already has. Not the cops. Not that prick of a husband. Not his security team. I will know if you do. Understand?"_

What had he done to Letty?! She is just a child! I couldn't bring myself to respond though, panic and fear were sealing my throat.

" _You understand!"_ He shouts.

"Yes." I whisper.

" _Or I will kill her."_

"Did you kill Letty?" I squeaked.

" _The little whore is alive. She just got what all whores needed, and what you wouldn't give me. It wasn't anything she wasn't already used to."_ He chuckled. _"Keep your phone with you. Tell no on or I'll fuck Mia up before I kill her and the littlest whore here will get another good fucking. You have two hours."_

"Jack, I need longer. Three hours. How do I know that you have her?" I asked.

And with that, the phone went dead and I gaped in horror. He had Christian's sisters. He had Mia and Letty and he was torturing the littlest of the two. He was going to _kill_ them and he had already raped Letty. My stomach roils again, and I fight the urge to vomit. What do I do? _Tell Christian? Tell Taylor? Call the police? How will Jack know?_ I need time, time to think—but I can only accomplish that by following his instructions. I grab my purse and head for the door.

Grace POV

"Dr. Trevelyan, you have a phone call. It's your daughter's school." One of my nurses poked her head in the exam room.

"Alright Lucy, no more marbles in your brother's nose, okay?" I asked the seven-year-old culprit who had pushed a marble so far up into her four-year-old brother's nose I had to sedate him to remove it.

"Sorry Dr. Trevelyan." She gave me a dimpled, toothy smile.

"Thank you Dr. Trevelyan." The worried father told me as he shook my hand. "And thank you for not telling Claire about this. What she doesn't know won't hurt her right?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "Anytime Mark."

I stepped inside my office and braced myself for a phone call from the school. I was hoping it was from the school nurse, telling me Letty had spiked a fever and needed to come home. I had wanted her to stay home today as precaution, fearing she would get worse today, but she had insisted on going. If it wasn't the nurse, my little one had probably landed in a hot spot, and I didn't want to have to deal with her being in trouble at school while I was already so worried about her.

"Hello, it's Grace Grey." I answered.

" _Dr. Trevelyan, so sorry to bother you at work. We tried your husband but he was in court."_ It wasn't the school nurse; I knew her voice. It wasn't the principal either, which I was glad about. It was the secretary.

"Is Juliette okay?" I asked.

" _Dr. Trevelyan, Juliette is not here today."_ The secretary told me.

"Yes she is, I dropped her off on my way to work." I told her.

" _She didn't go to her first few classes, so we checked for an email. We had one, but it wasn't from the email you or Mr. Grey have used to email the school in the past and there were a few grammatical errors, which isn't too suspicious except that you and Mr. Grey always use impeccable grammar and larger words than those used in this email."_ The secretary explained.

"I don't understand. You got an email excusing her for today?" I asked as my eyebrows scrunched up.

" _Yes."_ The secretary agreed.

I sighed. Had Letty intentionally skipped school today? Had she really gone to the lengths of creating a fake email account for the occasion? Would she have really done that after I offered to let her stay home today from school?

"I have no idea where she is." I admitted.

" _Some students said they saw here leave with an older guy, they said probably college. They said he didn't look too happy and that he did have a grip on her arm, but she left fairly willingly."_ She explained.

"I'm going to kill that girl. Thank you for letting me know." I told her.

" _Of course."_ The secretary told me.

I hung up and sighed as I ran my hands through my hair. Letty had been acting so strange lately, but she wouldn't just take off with some guy, would she? She wasn't stupid enough to believe she could get away with all of this, was she?

What was I supposed to do about this? Did I just wait until she got home from whatever she was doing? Did I call my children to figure out if they knew anything about this? Did I try and call her in hopes she would answer? If she didn't, she would know I was aware something was out of the ordinary.

A thought crossed my mind. Christian had a chip put in Letty's phone when he got it for her, just in case. I think we had all rolled our eyes at this, but maybe I should use it to my advantage. I could at least make sure she was in a safe location.

I quickly dialed my son and he picked up on the second phone.

" _Mom, this isn't really a good time."_ My son sounded…hurt. That was all I could make of his tone.

"Christian, are you okay?" I asked.

" _I'm fine. What did you call about?"_ He asked me shortly.

"I need you to track your sister's phone." I told him. "The school called, she apparently ditched out."

" _What do you mean?"_ He asked.

"I dropped her off, but she never showed up for classes. Some student said they saw her leave with a college aged guy." I told him.

" _Do we know anyone that lives anywhere near South Irving Street?"_ He asked me.

"Of course not." I told him. "Is that where she is?"

" _It's where her phone is."_ He told me.

"Christian, I never thought I would ask you this, but can you please send your team out to find her?" I sighed, not liking the location my youngest was in.

" _My team is out looking for…oh my god it's related."_ He whispered.

"What's related Christian?" I asked him nervously.

" _Mom, don't panic but I don't think Letty is skipping school. I think she's been taken."_ He told me calmly.

"TAKEN?!" I gasped, my whole world seeming to stop spinning at once.

" _Ana withdrew five million dollars, without explanation. It seemed off to me so I sent the team out to figure whatever it is out. I think it's related."_ He told me. _"I haven't been able to reach Mia today either, have you heard from her."_

"She was supposed to meet me for lunch an hour ago. I assumed something had come up." I whispered.

" _Call Dad and Elliot and go home and wait. I'll make sure my team finds her."_ My son told me calmly. _"I'm going to protect her, don't worry."_

My babies had been taken. My little girls were in danger. My little girls could very well never come back to me, and I was about to have to call my husband and my oldest son to tell them what all was happening.

The minute I was in the house, my husband embraced me, wrapping his arms around me gently. "It's okay Gracie, they're going to be found. They're going to be okay." He whispered.

"Grace, here." Kate told me softly as she handed me a teacup.

"Thank you Dear." I whispered as I sipped on the tea.

"Mom, come sit." Elliot told me as he wrapped an arm around me.

We all sat in the family room, and tears began welling up in my eyes. Who would do this? Who would take my little girls?

"Christian is going to find them Mom." Elliot told me. "His team is the best."

"We just need to stay positive." My husband whispered. "There's nothing we can do but wait."

How was I supposed to wait when my babies had been taken?


	28. Chapter 28: Empathy

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Sorry, I know this is a day late. School got intense this week (someone please remind me why summer classes seemed like a good idea, and why I decided to get two degrees, and a minor, all at the same time). Anyway, here's chapter 28. I hope you enjoy it. PLEASE REVIEW!

Chapter 28: Empathy

" _The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."_

― _Elisabeth Kübler-Ross_

Letty POV

 _Thursday, September 15_

A gunshot. That's the first sound I hear when I'm aware again. Everything hurts. My whole body feels like someone has just beat the shit out of me. Realization hit me. My surroundings hit me. What had happened so far today came soaring back to me.

Mia. Was Mia okay? I forced myself to sit up, cringing at the pain, and saw Mia still on the ground, seemingly unharmed, watching me with pure terror in her eyes. She was ashamed of me. Of course she was. She had just witnessed what a whore I was.

I collapsed back down on the bed, sobs raking through my chest as my body began shaking involuntarily. Panic was coursing through every single bone in my body. My fight or flight senses were telling me to run. To get Mia, and get the hell out of here. But my body wouldn't allow it. I was in too much pain.

"Ana!" A familiar voice yells from the other room. "ANA!"

Christian. It was Christian. He was here. Ana was here too? Why was Ana here? Christian could save Mia. He could save her and I could just succumb to the pain. I wouldn't care if these injuries killed me, not after what Mia had witnessed. Not now that she knew I was a whore.

"Christian!" I managed to rake out a sob. He had to find us so Mia would be okay. He had to find us before Jack or Ash came back and hurt Mia.

"Taylor! Sawyer! Find my sisters!" Christian's voice roared.

The door to the room was literally kicked in, and more sobs raked through me. it was the first time I realized I didn't have any clothes on. The two men gazed at me in horror. They knew I was a whore. They knew I deserved it.

"Miss Grey!" Taylor exclaimed as he reached me. "Miss Grey, calm down. You're safe now. What hurts the most?"

I couldn't quit crying. Why did he care about me? I just wanted them to take care of Mia.

"Miss Grey." His voice was soft as he worked to undo the ropes tying me to the bed. "Letty, talk to me. What hurts?"

I couldn't speak though. I didn't know how. I couldn't get words out of my mouth. What could I say to him? He had quickly removed his jacket, and draped it over me.

"Letty, we're going to get you to the hospital. You're going to be alright." Taylor's voice was gentler, more compassionate, than I usually heard from him. As he lifted me from the bed, darkness overcame me once more.

Grace POV

As soon as we got the phone call from Christian, we all rushed to the hospital. I barely bothered to make sure Carrick, Elliot, and Kate were behind me as I used all the staff hallways to maneuver as quickly as possible to the emergency department. I was a little torn, at if I should wait at children's emergency or the adult side. Letty was the only of the three who would be taken to the children's side. How did I pick between my two daughters? And then there was my sweet daughter-in-law too, who may be legally an adult, but is still a child in my mind, who I knew wouldn't have family arrive until later seeing as they were out of town. She needed a parent too.

Before I could make the decision, I saw my older daughter being wheeled in on a gurney, fighting the poor resident who was trying to put the oxygen back in her nose.

"Miss Grey, calm down." I heard the resident plead.

"Mia!" I called as I jogged over to her. "Mia, quit fighting them Darling, they are just trying to help you."

"Mom, go to Letty! She's hurt, I'm fine!" She sobbed as she continued fighting the arm trying to put medicine in her IV.

I froze. Mia didn't look _fine_ to me, and she was usually dramatic. If she was telling me she was fine, and to go to her little sister, Letty had to be in really bad shape.

"Mom, Dad, go. We'll stay with Mia." Elliot told me as he and Kate approached the gurney.

"Carrick, stay with Mia. I'll call you as soon as I know anything about Letty." I told my husband, who looked very conflicted as he looked to me.

"Grace, I…" He sighed.

"I'll go with Mom. Kate can stay with you and Mia." Elliot told his father.

Carrick sighed but nodded as he took our very angry daughter's hand.

Elliot and I left and headed over to children's. I punched in the code to go back and went up to the desk. "Dr. Trevelyan, she's in trauma two, but…" The ER tech tried.

I didn't listen to her trying to tell me I couldn't go back there. Like hell I couldn't. Elliot was close behind me as I pushed the door to the trauma room open and saw the trauma team in full swing as they worked on my daughter.

"Get a head CT, abdominal CT, full trauma series of x-rays. Hang another bag of O-negative and someone get that damn bleeding under control!" Dr. Lucas Bentley, head of pediatric trauma surgery called over the commotion

"This tibia is going to need to be fixed surgically, I can tell you that right now!" Dr. Andrew Collins, head of pediatric orthopedic surgery told the team.

"Someone needs to get plastics in here for some of these facial lacerations!" A resident called.

"Her BP is bottoming out." A nurse told everyone.

"Oh my god." My son mumbled.

"Dr. Trevelyan, you two shouldn't be in here." Lucas told me.

I held up my hand. "I'm not leaving her."

We locked eyes and he sighed. He knew I wasn't asking, I was telling, and he didn't seem to be up for a fight as he nodded. "Just stay against the wall."

I pulled Elliot back with me as they continued working on her. I got a look at her face at one point and my heart broke. She was so bruised and battered that I honestly would have struggled to identify her if I didn't already know she was my little girl.

"Some of these injuries are old." A nurse told the group. "Dr. Trevelyan, did she get into any fights recently?"

"No." I disagreed. "No, not that I was made aware of."

"The x-rays will tell us more. Let's move her guys. Dr. Trevelyan, please wait here or go to a private waiting room with your son." Andrew told us as they began getting my child ready to be taken to radiology.

As soon as they were gone my son looked at me, tears in his eyes. "Mom, is she going to be okay?"

I wanted to assure him that she was going to be fine, that everything was going to be alright, but I was struggling to assure myself that she was going to be okay. She was much more hurt than she had ever been. Much more hurt than any of my children had ever been.

"They're going to do everything they can." I whispered as tears began streaking my cheeks.

My son made me go to a small, private waiting room, pulling me down onto one of the chairs as soon as we were in there. He had an arm wrapped around me protectively but he was crying just as hard as I was. During all of this, the door to that waiting room opened and my husband walked in.

"Kate is with Mia." He told me softly. "Ethan is on his way."

"How is she?" I whispered.

"She's groggy…scared and angry. She had quite a bit of Rohypnol in her system. It'll be a while until that's out." He told me. "But she doesn't have any physical injuries. It seems like they didn't lay a finger on her. I should have listened to Christian about upping the security on all of you, I just thought with Jack Hyde in jail…if I had known he was out or that he would go after the girls…"

"It's not your fault." I told my husband as I quickly embraced him. "The girls are so stubborn they would have been furious with you if you had upped the security detail."

"Do we know anything about Letty yet?" He asked.

"They just took her to radiology. Cary, it isn't good." I whispered.

"She's tough." He whispered.

"How's Ana?" I asked quietly, praying to God she was relatively unharmed.

"Her ribs were bruised, hairline fracture to her skull, but her vitals were stable and strong." My husband told me. "She's still unconscious though. She had a major contusion to her head, but her brain activity was normal and there is no cerebral swelling."

"Have they moved her to a room yet?" I asked.

"She's upstairs. Christian is with her, but he's torn. He is so worried about Letty." Carrick told me softly.

"Dr. Trevelyan, Mr. Grey." Lucas greeted us.

"How is she?" I asked as I stood up, my husband's arm going around me as soon as I was on my feet.

"I'm not going to lie to you Grace, it's bad." He told me softly. "She's got a pretty major splenic laceration, both lungs are punctured and collapsed, she's got some swelling around her liver, six broken ribs, a broken sternum, her left shoulder has been dislocated, her pelvis was fractured, minimally thankfully, she's got a broken nose, a broken eye socket, two hairline fractures to her skull, and pretty clear signs of major sexual trauma."

"Oh Dear God." I whispered as my husband's grip tightened on me.

"We need to get her to the OR now, but we need your consent." He told me.

"Of course." I whispered as he handed me a clipboard. I quickly signed the forms and handed them to my husband. "Take care of my Baby." I cautioned as Lucas left the room.

"I'll do my very best Grace." He sighed.

 _Friday, September 16_

"I'm assuming Christian refused to leave Ana?" I asked as my husband walked back into the pediatric ICU, where I was sitting at Letty's bedside, Elliot and Kate right behind me. Ethan was with Mia right now, who had insisted on using a wheelchair to get to her little sister, but was being forced to stay in bed for the time being.

"For now." My husband agreed. "You may have more luck than I did. Ana's father just got here too."

"I'll go up in a little while." I told him.

"How long do you think it'll be before Letty wakes up?" Elliot asked me softly.

"It could be hours; it could be days. Her body suffered a major trauma, it's going to take time for her to heal. Her being unconscious is her brain's way at protecting her." I told him.

"She's a fighter this one." Kate whispered as she squeezed my daughter's hand.

"That she is." My husband agreed.

"Dr. Trevelyan, Mr. Grey, a word?" A detective asked from outside the room.

"Go. We'll be right here with her and come get you if anything changes." Elliot told me.

My husband and I followed the detective out of the PICU and to a conference room. "You two should take a seat, I have quite a lot to discuss with you."

My husband and I did as he said and he sat across from us, opening up a file. He tilted his head to the side, pushed his glasses up a bit, and cleared his throat.

"What is it?" My husband asked.

"There's no easy way to discuss this Mr. Grey, so I'm just going to lean on the side of being completely honest with you. Some of the things I need to inform you of are going to be shocking and hard to hear." He told us.

"Okay." My husband nodded.

"The events of yesterday were not an isolated event. Jack Hyde had been working on getting to your youngest daughter since the summer. The other attacker, Ash Hyde, was his younger brother. He has confessed to some pretty disturbing things when it comes to your daughter." The detective sighed.

"What has he confessed to?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.

"He forced your daughter into a sort of BDSM relationship, but more abusive than that. He would force her to have sex with him and he would beat her in exchange for giving her drugs. He said Jack instructed him to get her addicted so she would come back to him." The detective told me.

I froze. The sudden need to vomit hit me, and I had to take a deep breath to avoid doing just that, tears filling my eyes again.

"You mean to tell me that my daughter was not just kidnapped, raped, and tortured yesterday, but that she is addicted to drugs and had been repeatedly raped and tortured?" My husband asked him with tears of his own filling his eyes.

"I know it is a lot to take in, we are still investigating everything, but yes." The detective told us. "The District Attorney will be by to speak with you two, especially once your daughter is awake, but he is moving to have Jack and Ash charged with anything and everything they can be. He wants life sentences for both of them."

"What kind of charges are we looking at here?" I asked the detective, well, and my husband. He would probably know too.

"Aggravated Assault and Battery of a Minor with a Deadly Weapon, First-Degree Kidnapping, Child Endangerment, Third Degree Child Molestation, Multiple Counts of Third Degree Statutory Rape, Rape in the third degree of a Minor, and Rape in the First Degree. That's what the DA has so far, but the list could keep going." The detective explained.

After another ten or so minutes speaking with the detective, he left, and my husband sighed as he took my hands. "We're going to get through this Gracie."

"I hope so." I whispered. "I should go check on Christian for a moment. I'll be back soon though. You'll call the second anything changes?"

"Of course." He agreed.

Soon after the detective left, after kissing my sweet child's bruised, little forehead, I made my way up to Ana's room, to check on my son and daughter-in-law.

"Christian." I called softly.

"You should be with Letty." He told me softly.

"Your father, brother, and Kate are with her. They'll call if anything at all even appears to be changing." I told him. "Christian, Darling, you need to get some rest."

" _You_ need to get some rest too." He pointed out.

"I'll rest once I know Letty is going to be alright." I told him.

"Just like I'll rest once I know Ana's going to be alright." He told me.

I had to hide a smirk at my son. He could be so stubborn at times, and I guess, if the tables were turned, and this were Carrick injured, I would be doing the same thing.

"How are you doing Darling?" I asked him.

"I'm fine." He told me.

"Christian, I'm your mother. I _know_ you're not alright." I told him.

"I feel so guilty. All of this is my fault. Maybe if…if Ana and I had been on better terms when she got the phone call, maybe I could have been there before he hurt Letty." He whispered.

"Your sister was hurt long before that." I sighed.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I'll explain everything later." I sighed. "It isn't as simple as a one-time event, but this can wait. What do you mean you weren't talking?" I asked my son, the anger evident in my voice.

He didn't answer me but his eyes betrayed him. It wasn't a simple argument; he had done something. I knew he had done something.

"What did you do?" I asked him.

"Mom—"

"Christian! What did you do?" I asked again.

"I was so angry." His voice was almost a sob, and it broke my heart.

"Hey…" I sighed as I moved over to him and placed an arm on his back.

"Ana is pregnant, and I didn't have the best reaction in the world to it. No, that's an understatement, I was an ass about it, but I was so shocked. I went to see Elena and she was…she was with someone. A kid. He was just a child." He whispered.

I froze at this, my hand stopping the soothing circles it was rubbing on his back. Elena had molested another child?

"You told me you'd cut all ties." My voice, though I tried to hold emotion back, was admonishing.

"I know." My son sounds resigned. "But seeing her finally put it all in perspective for me. you know…with the child. For the first time, I felt…what we did…it was wrong."

I cringed at his words. He blamed himself for Elena. He didn't understand that she had _abused him_ , not the other way around. Now, two of my four children, so half of them, had been molested. I had failed them. How hadn't I seen with either of them?

"What _she_ did Darling…" I corrected him. "Children will do that to you. Make you look at the word in a different light."

"She finally got the message…and so did I…I hurt Ana." My son whispered.

I wrapped my arm around him. "We always hurt the ones we love, Darling. You'll have to tell her you're sorry. And mean it. And give her time."

"She said she was leaving me." He half-whimpered.

"Did you believe her?" I asked him, thinking about what I had been told about the kidnapping scenario, what Ana had said to Christian, the lies.

"At first, yes." He sighed.

"Darling, you always believe the worst of everyone, including yourself. You always have. Ana loves you very much, and it's obvious you love her." I told him softly.

"She was mad at me." He told me softly.

"I'm sure she was. I'm pretty mad at you right now. I think you can only be truly mad at someone you really love."

"I thought about it, and she's shown me over and over how much she loves me…to the point of putting her own life in danger."

"Yes, she has, Darling." I agreed.

"Oh, Mom, why won't she wake up?" His voice cracks. "I nearly lost her."

I pulled him further into my arms, holding him like I had always wanted to when he was younger. Something he had never allowed. "It's taken twenty-four years for you to let me hold you like this…" I trailed off.

"I know, Mom…I'm glad we talked." He told me.

"Me too, Darling. I'm always here." I assured him.

"Letty?" He asked.

"No change yet." I told him.

"I'm so sorry Mom." He whispered.

"Shh, this is not your fault." I told him.

"Jack was after me." He whispered.

"He was after you, that's true, but you couldn't have done anything to prevent this. It's not your fault." I told him.

"As soon as Ana is awake, I'm coming to see her." He told me.

"She's going to need all of us once she wakes." I told him softly.

We sat in silence for a few moments as I reached out and stroked Ana's hand. She was carrying my first grandchild and I was delighted. "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother." I told my son.

He smiled and offered a small headshake at my sudden change in attitude and the wide grin on that spread across my face.

 _Saturday, September 18_

"John called." Christian told me. "He heard about Letty on the news. He's getting back from his trip to Switzerland tonight anyway, and wanted to come by and check on you and Dad, and get an update."

"We do have a lot to discuss with him." I sighed. Part of me was angry with John. Wasn't it his job to pick up on things like this? Then again, isn't it a mother's job to pick up on things like this too? Letty had fooled us all, not just John.

"Mom!" My oldest son's voice had my other son and my heads snapping in his direction.

I took off on a full out sprint to my child's bedside and realized why Elliot was frantic. Letty was choking on the breathing tube. I sighed and carefully reached for her hands that were frantically trying to pull it out.

"Letty, it's okay. Relax. You need to breathe with the tube, not against it. Watch me." I told her as I took breaths with the rate of the ventilator.

She tried to open her mouth to speak and tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Don't try and talk Baby, just relax. Mia, go find her doctor. Elliot, go find your father." I instructed to of my children. "Are you hurting Baby?"

I got a tiny nod and more tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I'll go get her nurse." Christian told me.

"Darling, you're safe. I need you to try and stay calm." I told her.

She reached up again, and I grabbed her hands again, holding them gently, but firm enough she couldn't try and reach up.

"I know Baby. As soon as your doctor and nurse are in here, they'll take it out." I promised her.

"Juliette, try and calm down for me Sweetie." Lucas told my child as he began pulling on gloves as Juliette's nurse, Amanda, who was her nurse those many years ago when we first found Letty, was on Letty's other side, and began laying the bed back slowly.

I tried to step back, and allow Lucas into my spot, so he had a better reach for my child, but Letty's frantic hands grabbed mine, her grey eyes pleading with me not to leave her.

"I can work around you." Lucas assured me as he moved to the other side of the bed. "Sweetheart, we're going to get that tube out alright?"

Letty nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "It'll be a little uncomfortable, but it won't hurt." I told my baby.

"Alright Sweetie, I'm going to count to three. On three, I want you to give the biggest breath out you can, and that's when I'll pull the tube out. Do you understand?" Lucas asked my little one.

Letty nodded, and continued squeezing my hands for dear life.

"One, two, three." Lucas counted.

Letty began coughing frantically as soon as the tube was out of her throat and Amanda handed her a cup of water, which she began to drink instantly.

"Slowly Darling." I instructed, not wanting her to choke from drinking so fast.

"Mommy." Letty whimpered. "Mommy, it hurts."

Those words broke my heart. It was probably from moving so much, and just exasperating her soreness, but I knew she would be in some pain upon waking up, and at least be fairly sore for the duration of her recovery.

"What's hurting Sweetie?" Lucas asked.

"Stomach." She whimpered.

"Amanda, push a small dose of morphine, but not enough to knock her out." Lucas told the nurse who was re-taping the IV tubing back to Letty's arm.

She nodded and headed out of the room.

"Mom, what happened to me?" She whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

I glanced at her racing heartrate and raising blood pressure on the monitors, also considering this would be news that would best be delivered in private. I needed her calm before I could tell her. I also needed to figure out what I could tell her, with the ongoing investigation. I didn't need the Hyde attorney trying to say I coerced my own daughter.

"I'll explain everything Baby, but I need you to relax right now. You need to try and calm down. Trying breathing with me, okay?" I told her calmly.

Sometime during my guidance of breathing to my child, Amanda pushed the morphine, and my husband, children, and their significant others, returned.

"Daddy." Letty whimpered once she caught sight of her father.

Carrick had our daughter wrapped gently in his arms in an instant, running his hand through her beautiful waves. Even after being unconscious, and in the hospital, and beaten, my daughter was beautiful, and barely had a hair out of place.

"You gave us a scare Princess." Carrick sighed as he kissed her forehead before stepping back.

"I still don't know what happened." Letty told him softly.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Carrick asked her.

"Getting in Mom's car for school." She told him. "Mom, did we—did we get into an accident?"

"No. No Darling." I disagreed.

"Grace, Carrick, a word?" Lucas asked.

"We'll explain everything in a moment. Why don't you say hello to the rest of the room? They've all been anxiously awaiting you to wake up." Carrick told our daughter as we stepped out into the hallway.

Lucas had the detective we had met earlier with him. "She doesn't remember anything?" The detective asked us.

"She thought we were in a car crash." I told him.

He nodded intently, writing something on his small legal pad before putting it in his suit pocket. "That's not too uncommon for victims of significant trauma."

"It could be psychological, so significant suppression, or it could be due to all the medication she had in her system, or the head trauma. Honestly, only time will tell us why she isn't remembering the events that lead to her being in the hospital." Lucas told us.

"What can we tell her?" I asked the detective.

"It would be preferable if you didn't tell her much." He sighed. "You can tell her she was attacked, and you can tell her the injuries she sustained. There's enough medical proof of her injuries that no lawyer in their right mind would say she was fabricating things. You can't tell her who did it, or where it happened. Basically, you can tell her the stuff that we would have known if she had just been a Jane Doe, brought into the ER."

"This is going to be hard." Carrick mumbled. "She's an inquisitive and observant child. She'll know we're withholding the truth."

"It's of upmost important that we get the major details from her for the case." The detective told us. "I want to allow the two of you some privacy as you tell her what exactly happened, but if she starts offering up information, I would like for you to come get me. So if you tell her what happened, and she begins to remember things. Or if you tell her what happened, and she accuses someone of being her attacker. That kind of thing."

I nodded in understanding, and after Carrick asked the detective a few more questions, we headed into Letty's room, shooing our children out of it. I have to say though, the scene we had initially walked in on made me want to not tell Letty what happened, and let her believe it was a car crash. When we had walked in, I assume Christian and Ana had told her about the baby, because she had one hand on Ana's stomach, and was talking to her niece or nephew. Christian was closest to his little sister, a gentle hand on her back, Mia was braiding her hair into two French braid pigtails, Elliot was sitting on the foot of the bed, Kate sitting in his lap, and Ethan was by his sister, smiling at Letty.

For a moment, it was like it had just been a simple car crash, and the family was reunited at last. Everyone seemed so—innocent at the moment. In just a few short seconds, any innocence my baby had left would be gone.

"Mom?" She asked softly.

"Darling, your father and I need to tell you what happened." I whispered.

How the hell did I go about this? How did I tell my child what had happened to her? I did make her entire world come crashing down around her? I guess the only way was with as much love and support as I could offer, and as much empathy as I was capable of.


	29. Chapter 29: Regressing

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: I am so, so, **so** sorry this took so long for me to post. My summer classes are finally over so I should have time to write more than I've had so far. Also, I was exhausted when I finished this, so if it's a little rocky, don't have any total cries of outrage. Anyway, I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I had some things I had forgotten to add to line up to the chapter guide, so I had to throw them in there and hope it flowed. I also wrote like half of this chapter literally weeks ago, and just finished it today, so it may not flow as well as usual. Anyway, I will let you guys be the judge of that.

Chapter 30 should hopefully be completed tomorrow, and if I go ahead and do chapter 31 and 32, I'll post it tomorrow. If not, expect it a week from Saturday at the latest and you are totally welcome to bombard my inbox if I don't post it by then. Here you guys go!

Chapter 29: Regressing

" _When you're surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you're by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don't feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you're really alone."_

― _Fiona Apple_

Grace POV

 _For a moment, it was like it had just been a simple car crash, and the family was reunited at last. Everyone seemed so—innocent at the moment. In just a few short seconds, any innocence my baby had left would be gone._

" _Mom?" She asked softly._

" _Darling, your father and I need to tell you what happened." I whispered._

 _How the hell did I go about this? How did I tell my child what had happened to her? I did make her entire world come crashing down around her? I guess the only way was with as much love and support as I could offer, and as much empathy as I was capable of._

"Mom, please. Just tell me what happened to me." Letty whispered.

I sighed and nodded. "Okay Baby." I told her. "Darling, you were taken. You were—kidnapped" the words felt wrong being rolled off my tongue "and the people who took you…they hurt you Baby."

"Hurt me how?" She whimpered.

"They beat you." Carrick began, glancing to me, not able to say the other half of what happened.

"And they raped you Darling. I'm so sorry." I told her.

"It was Ash." She told me. "It had to be. He was so mad at me. He was Jack's little brother, but I swear, I had no idea. I'm so sorry Mom."

"Darling, take a breath." I instructed as I gathered my sobbing mess of a daughter in my arms. "Being worked up is going to cause you more pain."

"But it's my fault. I did it. I caused it. Mia could have been killed because of them! They should have just taken me!" I sobbed.

"Letty, Baby, please calm down." Carrick whispered as he rested a hand on her back, which she instantly flinched away from. "We need you to stay calm."

"I can't!" She sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"Darling, do we look mad?" I asked her.

"Not yet, but you will be once you hear the whole story." She hiccupped on a sob.

"Baby, we love you so much. Regardless of what has happened in the past, nothing will ever change that." Carrick promised our daughter. "Right now, we just want you to focus on feeling better. In this very moment, that means you need to just take a breath and try and calm down."

She nodded and sort of collapsed in my arms. I supported her, holding her up in my embrace for a few moments, just letting my youngest cry about everything that had happened to her as I held her as close to me as I could. It wasn't often that she let me hold her this much now that she was older, but because she was letting me, I knew she needed it.

"Princess, today there's going to be a lot of people that come to speak with you. It may be a bit overwhelming and if you need to stop, I just want you to tell me or Mom and we can tell the people it can all wait." Carrick told her.

"Talk to who?" She asked.

"The detectives and the District Attorney for start." Carrick answered calmly.

"We also want you to talk to Dr. Flynn about everything that's happened. We think it could help you." I told her.

"How am I supposed to talk to all of them about what happened when I don't even remember being taken?" She asked.

"They'll probably ask you about previous interactions with Jack or Ash." Carrick told her.

"Will—will they tell you all what I say?" She asked.

"Not if you don't want them to, but we will find out when this all goes to trial." My husband told her softly.

"Trial?" She whispered.

"They have to be held accountable for what they did to you and to Mia." I reasoned.

"No. You don't understand. This can't go to trial!" My daughter sobbed.

"Darling, it has to." I told her calmly.

"No, you don't understand! You'll hate me! Everyone will!" She cried.

"Darling, what happened to you wasn't your fa—" I began.

"Yes it is!" Letty cut me off. "You don't know the whole story! It is my fault! It's _all_ my fault! Once everyone finds out what a whore I am, how do you think my life is going to go? I can say goodbye to Harvard or ever becoming a well established individual! The media will be all over this!"

"Princess it is not your fault and you are _not_ a whore. I don't want to hear you say anything like that about yourself ever again." Carrick told her firmly.

"But it's true!" She sobbed. "And once Christian finds out all of this, he'll never speak to me again!"

"Baby, he's been so worried about you. I highly doubt that." I assured her.

"You don't understand! I basically became a mini version of his mother!" She sobbed even harder.

"Princess, what do you mean?" Carrick asked her calmly.

"Exactly what I've said! I let Ash fuck me so I could have drugs! It wasn't even just sex! He made me do some fucked up shit!" She continued sobbing.

I froze. I had found out bits and pieces of this from what Mia had said, but I never heard it put like that. How did I not see my daughter was essentially prostituting herself out to get her hands on drugs? How did my child essentially become an addict without catching my attention? How could my baby be tortured like this without me or anyone else noticing and stepping in? I had failed Christian when he was Letty's age, and now I have failed her. Parents are supposed to protect their children. Clearly, Carrick and I had done a very poor job of that when it came to my youngest son and my youngest daughter.

I don't think Carrick and I really knew what to say or do now. Where did we even go from there? She was going to have to talk about it to the detectives, and she would hopefully talk about it with John Flynn, but did we ask her more about it? Did we wait for her to tell us on her own time? Not even the amount of parenting advice _I_ dished out to parents could prepare me to know how to handle this.

I was quite literally saved when a knock on the door interrupted us and the detectives and district attorney walked in together. Once introductions had happened, I glanced to my daughter, trying to make sure she seemed alright for all of this to happen.

"Are you alright Darling?" I asked. "Are you okay to talk to them today?"

"Might as well." She whispered.

"Do you want us to stay?" Carrick asked.

"If you're going to find out eventually, I guess you guys should just find out now." She bit her lip nervously, her eyes going between all of us rapidly.

"Alright Letty, we don't have many questions for you just yet. Do you remember anything about the day you were taken?" One of the detectives, Martha, asked softly.

"No. Nothing." My daughter agreed.

"You knew Ash though?" The other detective, Jeremy, asked.

"Yes." She admitted.

"How well would you say you knew him?" Jeremy continued.

"He um—he and I—well…" She stuttered.

"It's okay Letty. You can tell us. We have a pretty good idea from him and from your sister what all happened between the two of you, but we need to hear it from you as well. You're not in any trouble." Martha smiled gently.

"We met at a party a while back. He gave me pills. I learned later they were ecstasy." She told them. "I—I liked them and wanted more, but he had a payment plan for me."

I froze. She had _started_ on ecstasy? That was what he gave her the first time she had taken anything. She would have developed a dependency pretty quickly to those.

"What was that payment plan?" Martha asked.

"He wanted me to have sex with him. A lot. He liked to beat me too. One time he—" She froze glancing to us.

"It's okay Baby." I whispered. "You can tell them anything. We won't be mad."

"One time he had me blindfolded and I was tied up, so I couldn't move the blindfold, and he let someone else do stuff to me." She continued.

"Do you know who that was?" Jeremy asked. "The other person?"

"No." She told him.

"When was the first time he and you were ever intimate with each other?" Martha asked.

"My birthday party that my friends threw for me. I told him to stop and that I didn't want it, but he did it anyway." She told them.

"Do you know the date?" Jeremy asked.

She shook her head.

"We can find that out." Carrick told him.

And the questions continued. For a good half hour, I found out things that had been done to my daughter that made me want to throw up. She may feel like this is her fault, and some people, if they hear, may believe it was too, but my daughter was a fragile child, that was taken advantage of. It may have been her choice to keep going back to Ash to get more drugs, but he had her so hooked and so controlled, I couldn't find it in me, not even somewhere deep, to be angry with her. I wanted to murder Jack and Ash with my bare hands, but I just wanted to hold my daughter and tell her everything would be okay. No sooner than the detectives and DA left, did John arrive.

Before he went inside, my husband I stood in the hallway with my husband, speaking with John about everything that had happened to Letty. We had shared with him the details that Letty was still piecing together herself, and his normal, calm disposition was threatening to fail. I guess even people in the mental health profession have their limits when it comes to hearing about trauma endured by others, and Letty was so young to go through such a terrible trauma. While John may never show Letty that this tore at his heart strings, I could see it on our friend's face. We walked him into Letty's room, but excused ourselves so they could speak privately, and also so Carrick and I could sort of regroup.

"Grace." My husband spoke softly as he turned to look at me, eyes holding back teas to the best of their ability. "Can we go speak somewhere private? Your office maybe?"

I nodded in agreement and together we walked up to my office. I closed the door behind us and my husband ran his hand through his hair, finally letting a single tear roll down his cheek.

"Oh Sweetheart." I sighed as I quickly wiped it away.

"How could they? How could they do that to her?" He asked. "How could we have not seen?"

"I know." I whispered. "I know."

"We—we should have seen. We should have noticed. Even before the drugs, how did we turn a blind eye to the partying? I mean how did she get us to believe it was just sleepovers? How could we allow for things to get this bad?" He asked.

"She didn't want us to see." I told him as tears began streaming down my cheeks. "She hid it all well. She's always been good at hiding her emotions."

"I just—we should have caught it." He told me.

A knock on my office door interrupted us and I quickly opened it to reveal all three of my children. "Mom, Dad." Christian greeted. "We have something we need to tell you."

I ushered them in and closed the door. They all looked around at each other nervously, reminding me of the times they had broken things on accident as children and were nervous to confess. Finally, Christian spoke.

"We knew about the partying." He told me.

"We overheard a bit of what you guys were saying." Mia told us. "Elliot may have been eavesdropping."

"Hey!" He snapped.

"Anyway" Christian rolled his eyes at his brother "we knew. We knew she was partying a lot, and drinking, but we thought—we thought it wasn't that bad. I mean the three of us in high school—we did worse."

"I knew something was off when I would take her to morning kickboxing lessons. That's when Jack and Ash said she would—when she met with Ash. I knew something was off, but I turned a blind eye." Mia continued.

"The bottom line is, older siblings are supposed to look out for their younger siblings and we failed her." Elliot finished as all three of my children instinctively began staring at their shoes.

"Well." Carrick sighed. "All we can really do now is help her heal."

"You're not angry with us?" Mia asked.

"We _all_ missed what was going on with your sister. It was not any of our faults. Like your father said, we should focus on helping her heal, not on the past mistakes that may or may not have contributed to how she is now." I told them.

We all spoke for another twenty or so minutes before heading down to check on Letty. John was just leaving her room. "Why don't you three go see your sister while we speak with John?" I suggested, earning three nods in return as my older "kids" headed inside their little sister's hospital room.

"Did she speak with you?" My husband asked him.

"She did. You know I can't tell you the details of what she said but…" He trailed off.

"But what?" I asked.

"Grace, Carrick, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think it could do her some good to spend time in a treatment center." John told us softly. "There's this place out in Maine, they specialize in cases involving teenagers. I think to get away, to escape for a little while, it could be what she needs."

"John, I respect your opinion, you know I do, but she's my baby. She's regressed back to only allowing me to touch her as far as we've seen since she found out what happened. How could a treatment center make that better? She would be miserable." I sighed.

"I just want to keep it an option." He told us. "She's been through something terrible, but on top of that, she never allowed herself to fully heal from her childhood. People that have been through half as much have suffered severe depression."

"So she's like a ticking time bomb is what you're saying?" My husband asked as he glanced towards the room where Letty was sitting with Christian, Elliot, and Mia, all three keeping a distance, even Mia, making me think one of them had tried to hug her, and she had flinched away, like with Carrick.

"Traumatic events, by definition, overwhelm our ability to cope. When the mind becomes flooded with emotion, a circuit breaker is thrown that allows us to survive the experience fairly intact, that is, without becoming psychotic or frying out one of the brain centers. The cost of this blown circuit is emotion frozen within the body. In other words, we often unconsciously stop feeling our trauma partway into it, like a movie that is still going after the sound has been turned off. We cannot heal until we move fully through that trauma, including all the feelings of the event." He told us. "I fear that because she never coped fully with the traumas of her childhood, it's all just going to become too much. I'll support your decision. If you choose to keep her at home, I will continue treating her, but some space may help her."

"Would getting away from Seattle in general help?" I asked him. "Taking some time away from school and from the news coverage that will surely happen with all of this?"

"It certainly wouldn't hurt." He agreed.

"We could go to the house in Montana. Or, we could ask Christian to let us stay in Aspen for a little while. That's one of her favorite places to be." My husband seemed to catch onto my question for John.

"If you all choose to do that, I can look into therapists in the area." He told us. "I would never refer you to anyone less qualified or less equipped to handle a situation like this one. I'll tell you one thing though, I don't think that separating her from her brothers and sister for too long would be the best idea. Especially not Christian. He's one of the few people that can begin to relate to what she has been through and is going through. Wherever you go, she needs to have a full support system around her. The more time she spends with those she will need to spend time with, the quicker she will learn to trust them again."

That meant we had a decision to make. Could we really ask the children to put their lives on hold and go out to Aspen or Montana with us for a while? Could we ask that of their significant others?

We spoke with John for a few more moments before we finally rejoined our children in Letty's room. "Mom, Dad, a word?" Christian asked.

"Of course Darling." I agreed.

We left Letty with Elliot and Mia and stepped outside with Christian.

"When did she stop speaking?" He asked.

"What?" My husband asked him.

"She's not speaking. To any of us. It's almost like…I don't know. She is listening to us, we can tell, but she won't answer us. When Mia tried to hug her, she froze, and her heart began racing. She wasn't like this before we left earlier." He sighed.

"She wasn't like this when we left either." Carrick told him.

"She's had a very tiring, very stressful day." I reasoned. "She's probably just exhausted, mentally and physically. Let's give her a few moments alone. We need to talk to you, Elliot, and Mia anyway."

He nodded in agreement and we all stepped inside. "Letty, we're going to go speak with your siblings for a moment." Carrick told our daughter.

He didn't get an answer in return. Just a simple nod of her head as she clutched her knees close to her chest.

"Darling, try and stay laying on your back for a bit. It'll be more comfortable." I instructed.

She nodded again, and did as I said, but didn't answer me either.

"Princess, can you say something?" Carrick asked.

Letty simply shook her head and tears began streaking her cheeks as she rolled on her side, avoiding looking at us. My heart was breaking by the second. I just wanted to hold my baby.

"We'll be right back." I told her softly, earning a small nod.

"Okay, what the hell?" Elliot asked as soon as we were back up in my office.

"Just give her time. It's been a big day." I told him.

"Did she talk to Flynn?" He asked.

"He said she did. She is probably just exhausted." Carrick reasoned.

"We'll figure it out." I promised them. "Anyway, we have something to ask of all of you."

"What is it?" Mia asked.

"John thinks her getting away from Seattle could be a good thing. He suggested a treatment facility, but we are against that idea. We want to either take her to Montana, or Aspen if you're okay with us using your place, for a while." I told Christian.

"That's fine with me." He assured me.

"The thing is, John thinks the three of you are going to play a tremendous part in her healing." Carrick told the children. "I know it's a lot to ask, but would you all come with us? I know for Elliot and Christian, that could be more difficult, with their companies, but…"

"Of course we will." Elliot interrupted his father.

"We have the jet. We can fly back for work if we need to." Christian told us.

"Of course Ana and Kate would be welcome to join us if they wanted or could. Ethan to." I glanced to Mia. "Letty just needs people around her that love and care for her."

"Ana shouldn't have trouble taking off from work." Christian told us. "She should take it easy for a while anyway, and like Elliot and I, the girls can fly back for work if they need to."

"I'm sure Kate would be more than willing." Elliot agreed.

"We'll work out the details tomorrow. For now, I want to get back to your sister." I told my children.

Everyone left, aside from Carrick and I. I think they noticed how overwhelmed my youngest was, and gave us some space. Sure enough, Letty wasn't speaking. She would allow me to touch her, but the minute my husband tried to even brush a stray hair back from her face, she was in a full on panic. I was just hoping and praying she wasn't regressing back to the terrified little girl she was when we first met her.


	30. Chapter 30: Safe

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Okay, so here's chapter 30. I hope you guys like it. Hopefully it lives up to your expectations and the long wait was worth it. Enjoy!

Chapter 30: Safe

" _The worst type of crying wasn't the kind everyone could see-the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. For people like me and Echo, our souls contained more scar tissue than life."_

― _Katie McGarry, Pushing the Limits_

Letty POV

I stared out the window of my brother's private jet, and tried to just—mull things over. We are currently flying to Aspen, to stay at Christian's home he has there. Everyone is going with us. Mom, Dad, Christian, Mia, Elliot, Ana, Kate, even Ethan. Mom and Dad think getting me away from Seattle, away from all the memories of what happened to me, is going to help me. They're wrong though.

Nothing is going to help me. Nothing can help me. I fucked everything up. Nothing will ever change the fact that I was a whore, and slept with Ash over and over again. Nothing will change the fact that because of me, Mia and Ana's life were endangered. Even my unborn niece or nephew, who I had just learned Ana was pregnant with a few days ago, was endangered because of me. I hurt everyone I love. Nothing will ever change how I feel. I am well beyond being helpable. I am broken. I am broken beyond repair, and I just wish my family would see that.

Flying, especially on Christian's jet, was something I had _always_ enjoyed. I loved flights, unlike most people. I usually found them very relaxing. It was an escape from the world. When you were on a flight, no one could really expect much from you. You didn't really have contact with anyone on the ground, you weren't typically expected to be doing school work or doing anything to help you get better at a sport. You were just expected to relax. Watch movies. Play games. You could do whatever you really wanted to.

Christian's jet, in particular, was my favorite way to travel. It was the most comfortable way. Even first class on the nicest airlines weren't as comfortable as his jet. The seats, they made you want to melt into them. I don't even know why Christian has a bedroom on the jet, because these chairs allow you to melt into them, and you want to fall asleep the minute you're in it. Usually, this flight, would have me very relaxed. The light rain would have me dozing off even though I knew the flight would only last about three hours.

Right now though, there was nothing relaxing about this flight. I was—anxious. Anxious about what was going to happen in these next few weeks. I should be relieved seeing as my parents weren't even upset—or if they were, they weren't showing it—about me using drugs and drinking and partying. I guess I expected for them to be yelling or crying or something if they ever found out how fucked up their youngest daughter was, but they hadn't done either. Not in front of me anyway. Their initial reactions have me anxious, because I feel like their anger and their disappointment is brewing, like a storm, and will come out eventually. I'm also anxious about how I'm going to live without the pills. I had, according to the doctor, gone through the worst of the withdraw at the hospital, but I was craving them. I wanted pills or alcohol or anything that could make me feel better.

Then there was this new therapist that Flynn had arranged for me to see. I know that I didn't show it much to him, by not speaking to him, or opening up, but I liked him. I trusted him. I think I would be able to actually talk to him now that all my secrets were out in the open. A new therapist, he or she, they would have me petrified. I wouldn't want to talk to them. They would just waste their time and my parent's money by seeing me.

I haven't spoken a word since that day in the hospital. I couldn't. I couldn't find the words to say. I couldn't talk to anyone. Not Mom, not Dad, not Christian, not Elliot, not Mia, not anyone. I was petrified of touch too. Like when I was little, but worse. I would tolerate Mom squeezing my hand. I knew it comforted her to think she was comforting me, but in reality, I hated it. I just had to stay strong for her sake.

So this flight, it wasn't relaxing me like usual. I wasn't enjoying it. It was just another symbol that something was wrong with me, and that everyone was having to make sacrifices to try and make me better, even though I never would be better. Mom and Dad, they were taking a whole month off from work. Christian and Elliot were each taking a week off, and then Christian would be working from home in Aspen, while Elliot would be flying back and forth to Seattle with Kate and Ana. They were all sacrificing so much for me, and it was all pointless. I didn't deserve it, and even if I did deserve it, it wasn't going to help me. Nothing would.

"Letty, are you hungry?" Mom asked me softly from her seat beside me. She was eating a sub and some chips.

I shook my head and pulled my legs up, resting my feet on the jet's seat, and resting my head on my knees.

Mom instinctively tried to rest a hand on my back, but I flinched, and she immediately withdrew the hand. I wish I could tell her sorry. Sorry for being so weak. Sorry for not being able to let her comfort me. I couldn't though. I couldn't find the words.

"We should be landing soon." Christian told us all. "So put your seatbelts on."

I struggled to get the seatbelt on with my left arm in a sling. The doctor said I had to wear it for another few days while my shoulder healed because it was a bad dislocation. I should be able to stop wearing it in two days, and I couldn't wait to take it off.

I felt the familiar sensation of a descent, and soon, we had landed, and were making our way off the jet. Christian's security team was loading our luggage into various SUVs, and everyone else was claiming their spots in them. I wound up sitting in the SUV Luke Sawyer was driving that had me, Mom, Dad, Mia, and Ethan. Everyone else was in the SUV Taylor was driving, aside from the rest of Christian's staff, who rode in a separate SUV.

We reached the house, and I couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of joy as we were greeted by Mrs. Bentley. Aspen had always been one of my favorite places. Not even the house, just Aspen. The house was beautiful, and modern—like Christian's style—but homey, and I loved it, but Aspen had been a frequent vacation spot my entire childhood, and I had some of my best memories of my life here.

I got the room beside Mom and Dad's, Mia was across the hall from me, and Ethan's next door to Mia's, though I doubted they would actually sleep in their own rooms if my intuition about their actual relationship being more than friends was right, and Elliot and Kate got the room a little further down the hall. Christian and Ana obviously got the master.

I loved the bedroom that had been deemed mine when Christian moved in. The walls were ivory, which added a touch of warmth instead of just having white walls. My room was a corner room of the house, so two of the walls were made completely of glass, though the tent outside didn't allow people to look in, just for me to look out. The ceiling was made of wood, adding a cabin-like feel to the room, and a large, extremely comfortable, California King Sized bed faced the window walls, covered in tons of pillows. It was a relatively simple room, but I loved it so much right down the large plush rug that covered much of the floor.

Taylor brought my luggage up to me, and I busied myself attempting to unpack, but my arm was making it increasingly difficult. "Hey." I heard Ana's soft voice from the door to my room. "Will you let me help you?"

Without much of another option, being one-armed, I nodded, and Ana walked further in. "Christian said your room had the best view of the house, but I doubted it could get better than the master. I stand corrected." She smiled as she looked out the large windows.

I offered a tiny smile of agreement.

"You know, I was very nervous when I found out I was pregnant." She began as she started putting my clothes away for me. "I was nervous about how Christian would react. But something, something assured me he does indeed have a soft spot for kids. Do you know what that was?"

I shook my head.

"It was you." She offered a smile. "The way he treats you, it made me know he'll be an excellent father to our daughter or son one day. He adores you Letty, more than anyone I think."

I shook my head and gestured towards her. He loved her most, as he should. She was his wife.

"Of course he loves me." She agreed. "But you're so special to him. You're his baby sister. He has been so worried about you. We both have."

I frowned and nodded in understanding, but wished everyone would stop worrying about me.

"I know you don't want to talk right now." Ana sighed as she continued putting my clothes in drawers. "But I do want you to know that if you ever want to talk to someone—and maybe you don't want to talk to your brothers or sister or parents, I will always be here for you. I'm usually a pretty good listener."

I offered a tiny smile which she reciprocated.

"I was thinking of going on a walk in a little bit. Would you like to join me?" She asked. "I doubt I can convince Christian to let me go without security, but aside from that, it would just be you and me."

I contemplated this. Some fresh air, and a little bit of space from my siblings and parents would probably do me some good. I nodded, telling her I would go.

"After we get your things put away, I'll go and put on some hiking boots and tell Christian where we're going. Meet me downstairs in fifteen?" She continued.

I nodded again, and watched as she began hanging up my hanging clothes.

After my things were put away, Ana headed out of my room, and I went to my closet and grabbed a coat and my hiking boots. I took advantage of having my arm sling off while putting on my coat to tie my boots instead of having to get someone to do that for me. That was one of the most annoying parts of my arm sling, the whole not being able to tie my shoes thing.

I met Ana downstairs, and she had Luke with her. "Mrs. Grey, Miss Grey." He offered a curt nod and an apologetic smile. I assumed Ana had tried to convince Christian to let us go alone.

"We won't be long." Ana turned to assure Christian.

I hadn't noticed him at the top of the stairs.

"Be careful Letty." He told me. "Don't overdo it."

He knew me well. I always went hard on hikes, but this was a walk. With Ana. With a pregnant Ana. I knew how to take it easy.

"It's just a walk Christian. The hiking books are just a precaution so we have better traction." Ana told him.

I walked with Ana, and Luke a few feet behind us, just taking in the beautiful scenery Aspen offered. I was almost glad Ana didn't try and strike up conversation with me. She seemed to just enjoy my company in silence.

We walked for about fifteen minutes, not very long, before I found myself getting tired. The doctors had warned me about this—how tired I would be for a little bit. I was also supposed to be trying to walk as much as I could, to build up strength, which I guess is why Mom—and Christian for that matter—agreed to let Ana take me on this little walk.

Noticing how tired I was, Ana turned back with me, and we walked back inside. I found myself curled up on the couch in the living room, a blanket covering me as I dozed in and out of sleep with some movie on TV that Ethan and Elliot were watching. I was curled on one seat of the couch while Ethan sat at the other end, and Elliot was on the loveseat by us.

"Hey Kid, Mom's calling us for dinner." Elliot told me softly.

I nodded and kicked the blanket off of me before following him to the dining room. I took my seat between Mom and Christian, across from Ethan, and everyone began digging into their dinner of lamb chops with a balsamic reduction and potatoes au gratin with fresh asparagus as the sides. I was growing increasingly irritated with the one-armed thing as I tried to cut my meat up and eventually just dropped my knife in frustration.

Christian noticed what was happening before anyone else and without making a big deal about it, began cutting my meat up while I listened in on Mom, Mia, Ana, and Kate's conversation about wedding plans for Kate and Elliot.

When I got bored with that, I turned my attention on Ethan, Elliot, and Dad's chat about Seahawks football, something which I could follow a little better than the different shades of white, which I literally thought was only one shade.

Christian joined right back in with the Seahawks conversation and I finally got to eat my food, and the best part is, no one had really noticed what was going on and Christian having to cut my food for me.

After dinner, everyone was pretty beat, so we decided to all turn in for the night. I quickly got myself showered and into some pajamas before crawling into bed.

"Letty?" I heard Mom's soft voice from the door.

I sat up a little and she and Dad walked in.

"How are you feeling Darling? Does anything hurt?" Mom asked.

I was sore, but nothing hurt, so I shook my head.

"Princess" Dad smiled as he sat on the side of my bed "did you have at least an okay day today?"

I nodded. It was the best I had been able to have in a while.

"I know you don't feel like things are going to get better, but I promise they will." Dad told me softly. "We're here for you Baby, we aren't going anywhere. We all want to help you get better. We all _want_ to be here, so don't feel like you're making us do anything we don't want to."

Dad had always been able to read me pretty well, and his words did make me feel a little better. Him reassuring me that they _wanted_ to be here at least tried to make me believe that no one was being inconvenienced by this.

"Alright Baby, you seem tired, so we'll let you sleep." Mom began. "Before you do though, I'm going to give you a heads up, you have an appointment tomorrow with John's friend. He'll actually be there to introduce you to her. Her name is Heather."

I frowned at this. I wasn't ready for therapy. Not yet. Not with a stranger. Even if Flynn was going to be there tomorrow, the idea of having to go and have someone try and make me talk about this, it terrified me.

"I know." Mom sighed as she saw my face. "I know you don't like therapy, and we don't expect you to start talking yet, but we need you to give this a try. In the long run, this is going to help you, even if you don't see it yet."

I sighed and nodded, not having much of an option seeing as I was under eighteen.

"If you have any bad dreams, please come and wake us up." Dad told me softly.

I couldn't really agree to that, because unless I woke them by screaming, I had no plans on disturbing their sleep, but I offered a nod to appease them.

"We love you so much Darling, don't ever forget that." Mom whispered.

"We'll see you in the morning Princess, sleep well." Dad told me.

And with that, they were gone, and I was left to finally fall into a peaceful slumber, like my body had been wanting to do for the past few hours. For the first time in a long time, I finally felt—safe. I was able to go to bed with the knowledge that I wouldn't have to see Ash this week, that we were over a thousand miles away from Seattle, and I had my whole family with me. Maybe, just maybe, I would finally be able to be normal.


	31. Chapter 31: Stitches

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So, I felt kind of bad about how short chapter 30 was, so I decided to go ahead and post chapter 31 today too (which I finished literally ten minutes ago). I hope you guys like it. It has less excitement than most, but oh well. I like it so (insert shrugging shoulders). Please review you guys! You make me so happy when you review!

Chapter 31: Stitches

" _That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end."_

― _Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation_

Letty POV

I woke up at exactly 3:30AM, in a sheer panic. Dreams of Ash and Jack had mixed together with dreams of my biological parents, and it was literally and figuratively, my worst nightmare. I knew I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep again, not after that, so I decided to go sit outside on the deck. I grabbed the comforter off my bed, and wrapped myself up in it, and as quietly as possible, walked from my room to the deck outside, and curled up on one of the outside couches, staring up at the moon and the stars, finding consolations.

"There's Draco." A voice startled me, causing me to jump a bit. "Sorry."

I glanced to see Ethan in his pajamas.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Me either." He told me as he moved to sit by my feet on the couch. "I always like to go outside and find as many constellations as possible when I can't sleep. Draco is one of my favorites, want to know why?"

I nodded.

"Harry Potter." He chuckled.

I perked up a bit at the mention of my favorite series.

"Mia tells me your obsession with the series rivals mine." He smiled. "A lot of the characters, especially in Sirius's family, are named after stars and constellations."

I nodded in agreement, excited he was talking about Harry Potter with me.

"Personally, my favorite character is Severus Snape. I like him because in my mind, he was the most selfless. He sacrificed his own happiness and comfort for the better good. He allowed people to view him as an evil death eater, so he could help Dumbledore. I think he was very brave, and I think he probably has a few little Gryffindor tendencies." He continued. "Do you have a favorite character."

I nodded, wondering if he would ever guess who mine was. It was Sirius Black, but most people forgot about him. I liked him because he stepped in and was a father to Harry when he needed it most, kind of like my father.

"Well, let's narrow this down. Were they a Gryffindor?" He asked.

I nodded.

"One of the trio?" He continued.

I shook my head.

"Part of the Marauders?" He asked.

I nodded.

"James?" He guessed.

I shook my head.

"Sirius?" He asked one more time.

I nodded.

"I like Sirius too. It takes a really special person to step in and help parent someone else's child." He offered a small smile. "I think that's why I admire your parents so much."

I nodded in agreement. Ethan was spot on with my reason for liking Sirius so much. I guess that was the whole him doing psychology thing. He was probably good at reading people. I had never really had a conversation with Ethan, so I was just starting to see these things.

"You know, when Mia asked me to come with you guys, I was a little surprised. You and I haven't really had that much of a chance to talk, and for that, I'm sorry. You know, I may not be too good at everything, but I do know quite a bit about little sisters. I know your siblings can all seem—overbearing at times, but they're just worried about you. Hell, I'm not your older brother, but I'm worried about you. We are all here to help. In anyway we can." He offered a small smile.

Ethan had this sort of attitude about him. Not a bad one—and maybe attitude isn't the best word. He's just—I don't know. I can tell he's wise beyond his years. I'm not really sure where that wisdom comes from, but he has the type of personality where you just want to spill all of your secrets to him. If I were up to speaking, I may have done that, but instead, I rested my head on my knees.

"Are you alright?" Ethan asked me. "I can stay a little longer if you'd like."

It wasn't that I wanted Ethan to leave. I was actually enjoying his company. But it was late, and I didn't want to keep him up. He was probably tired. I offered a simple head shake.

"Okay Kid." He told me. "Try and get some rest if you can tonight. You need your sleep."

I nodded, not intending to listen to that piece of advice, and he left with one last parting look. I leaned back again and looked up at the stars, trying to spot more constellations.

I must have been sitting there longer than I realized, because soon enough, the sun began to rise, turning the sky a beautiful orange yellow. It was peaking over the trees, reflecting on the lake, and I felt like I was looking at a portrait in the most elegant part of an art museum, and it was a surreal moment. I had seen the sunrise before, but I couldn't recall seeing one quite this beautiful.

"Hey." I heard a soft voice from behind me, startling me a bit. "Sorry." Christian apologized as he walked over to me. "Didn't mean to startle you."

I shrugged.

"You're up early." He told me as he sat down by my feet. "You used to do this when you were little, remember?"

I smiled, thinking back to all the times I would wake up earlier than anyone else, and take my comforter to either sit in our sunroom or on the patio, depending on the weather. Usually, it was exactly like this. Christian would be the first to greet me, up long before the sun, then Mom and Dad, then Mia, and finally, the latest riser, Elliot.

"I would wake up for my morning run around 5:30, and you'd already be up." He told me. "Usually, I'd delay my run and you and I would go watch cartoons if that ever happened."

I nodded, remembering those mornings before Christian had left for college, when I was just a little thing.

"Letty—I…" He sighed. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. He had nothing to apologize for.

"Just hear me out, okay?" He asked.

I sighed and nodded for him to continue.

"I knew something was off from that first party I saw you at. I should have just told Mom and Dad. You would have been furious with me—but maybe…well maybe this would not have happened. I should have put a security detail on you, and just dealt with you being mad. I was a little—preoccupied, but I let you down, and I am so sorry for that. I wanted to be your friend, and trying to be your friend, I failed you as an older brother." He sighed.

I shook my head. He hadn't failed me. This was all me.

"Oh Letty—I wish you would talk to me again." He sighed. "I don't like this silence. We've never had problems talking to each other."

A single tear trickled down my cheek. Didn't he understand? Didn't he get that I wanted more than anything to talk to him? That I wanted him to hold me? I couldn't talk though. I had no words. The idea of him holding me, it physically pained me. I hated this.

"Oh Letty." He sighed as he wiped the tear from my cheek. "I love you so much."

"Is everything okay out here?" I heard my father's voice from the doorway.

"Letty just got up early for the sunrise." Christian offered. "You're up earlier than usual."

"Your mother was snoring." Dad laughed. "It sure is beautiful, isn't it?"

I nodded in agreement.

"Mind if I join you two?" Dad asked.

"Go ahead." Christian offered for us.

"Did you sleep well last night Letty?" Dad asked.

Should I lie? It may come back to bite me if I do. I mean, Ethan saw me out here around 3:00, and hadn't moved. If he mentioned it to Mia, she would mention it to my parents, and I didn't want them to know I had lied to them. Maybe honesty would help in making me feel better. It would probably at least make me feel less guilty.

I sighed and shook my head.

"Bad dream?" Christian asked.

I nodded and busied myself playing with my hair instead of looking at either of them.

"Princess, you really can wake me or Mom when those happen." Dad told me. "We want you to. We don't want you to have to do this alone."

I sighed and nodded, but probably wouldn't take that situation to seriously.

"Or me." Christian offered. "I know what it's like to not want to sleep and have to relive your demons. It got a lot easier for me when Ana was there for me."

Now that I thought about it, just having Ethan there to talk to me, just about Harry Potter, it had helped me not think about the dream. I hadn't slept after, but I hadn't been as upset as I would have been if he hadn't have seen me and sat with me.

Dad and Christian sat with me, just looking at the view, until everyone else began to wake up. We all went back in the house, and after dragging my comforter back upstairs, and getting dressed, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen, where everyone was eating.

"Do you want an omelet, Darling?" Mom asked me.

I shook my head and opted to grab some Greek yogurt, fruit, and granola instead. I sat between Mom and Kate as I ate, and listened to Kate and Ana talking about flying back for work tomorrow, and what all they had to do.

After breakfast, Elliot convinced Ethan and Christian to go play video games with him, while Mia plead for the girls to all do manicures and pedicures with her. I resisted, but Kate and Ana were dragged upstairs with Mia. That left me with just my parents.

"We're going to leave here around 10:30 for your appointment with the new therapist." Mom told me softly. "Afterwards, I thought Dad and I could take you out for lunch. Would you like that?"

I nodded in agreement, earning me a small smile from my mother.

"Then, I was thinking" she glanced to Dad "you and I could drag your Dad around shopping with us. Would you like a few new outfits?"

I would usually not want to shop, but I liked the boutiques in Aspen, so I nodded, and offered an apologetic smile to my father.

"As long as Mia isn't tagging along, I'll be fine." Dad chuckled at the look I gave him.

"I need to go freshen up." Mom told me. "I'll be back."

I headed upstairs and decided to read until I was dragged to therapy. I went through my bookshelf that Christian kept stocked for me, debated reading something new, but wound up reading Harry Potter for the billionth time. I would probably finish all seven again by the time we went back to Seattle.

I was lost, captivated, by the story when I heard a soft knock on my door. "Letty, time to go." Mom called softly.

I put a bookmark on the page I was currently devouring, and made my way to Mom, and followed her downstairs. Taylor was apparently driving us, so the three of us climbed in one of the SUVs.

I was growing increasingly nervous the further we drove, knowing with each second of the drive, we were one second closer to wherever the office was. Taylor finally pulled up in front of a cabin, in the middle of the woods, that looked nothing like an office.

"We're here Baby." Mom told me.

I climbed out of the car and followed my parents inside, my feet telling me to run the other way, but my mind wanting to please my parents for once. Mom went up to the receptionist, I assume to sign me in, and I followed Dad to sit in the waiting room. I could tell by the décor, this therapist probably dealt with children a lot more than Flynn did.

"Baby, they want you to fill out this survey." Mom told me as she handed me a clipboard. "Be honest with it okay? Dad and I won't know what you said."

I nodded and glanced down to it, reading the instructions first. I answered questions asking me everything from how happy I was at home, to if I felt like I needed alcohol, to if I wanted to hurt others, if I wanted to hurt myself, and everything in between. I was glad the questions weren't simply yes or no, they were to number it from 0 to 5, with 0 being "nothing like me", and 5 being "extremely like me". There were so many gray areas with each of the questions that the numbering system helped answer them.

After waiting for about ten minutes, my parents and I were called back. I was greeted by Flynn, and a lady. She was kind of small, taller than me, but that wasn't difficult, probably just over 5'0'', and relatively thin too. She seemed a little young, not too young, I guessed early 30's or late 20's, and it kind of shocked me. For some reason, I was expecting a really old man or something.

"Hi Juliette, I'm Heather. Is it okay if I call you Letty?" She asked.

I nodded at the woman and she offered a small smile.

"Is it okay with you if your parents hang out in here for a little bit? I promise we'll kick them out in a few minutes." She offered a small smile.

I nodded in agreement, and took a seat on the couch she had gestured to, right between my parents. Flynn and Heather spoke to my parents first, and I didn't pay too much attention, and then turned the conversation to me, but seeing as I still wasn't speaking, that didn't get too far. After a while, my parents left with Flynn, and I was left alone with Heather for the first time.

"I want to start off by assuring you that everything you say to me stays between the two of us, unless you tell me you're going to hurt yourself, hurt someone else, or if you disclose abuse to me. Even though you're under eighteen, this is about you, and your healing, and being able to confide in someone is going to be very important." She began.

I nodded in agreement.

"Next, I want to assure you that I have no expectations you have to live up to. You run the show in here. If you leave here, just the same as when you came here, it won't upset me. I don't want you to have to feel like you have to please me." She offered.

I bit my lip a little at this. I guess I had never thought of it that way. I had never had anyone told me that they had no expectations for me. It seemed nice.

Heather continued telling me about what she hoped we could accomplish through this, but told me it was ultimately up to me, and then asked if I wanted to talk. I shook my head, so instead, she allowed me to just sit and play with one of the Rubik's cubes she kept in her office.

"Alright Letty, our time today is up. I'll see you next week, but before you go, may I offer up a piece of advice?" She asked.

No wonder Flynn liked her. She was sort of like him. She was probably about to give me some profound advice that would circulate in my head over and over again. I offered a nod.

"You have no idea just how badly those around you care for you and want you to help. You feel like you're a burden to them, but you are not. You aren't a burden to your family and they want you to come to them. They want to help you. They want you to lean on them when you're about to crumble down. If you just give them a chance, I promise you, you'll see that." She told me. "Can you at least try to lean on them? I think you'll find yourself so much happier if you do."

I sighed, and didn't really offer a nod, or a headshake, and she simply smiled. "I'll see you next week Kiddo, if you need me sooner, just have one of your parents call me."

I nodded and followed her out to the lobby. Flynn was sitting with my parents, waiting on us.

"I just stuck around to say goodbye. I have to go back to Seattle tonight. Are you going to be alright with Heather?" He asked me.

I nodded and he smiled.

"I'll see you soon Letty. Carrick, Grace." He nodded to my parents.

Mom gave him a brief, gentle hug. "Thank you for everything you've done for us." Mom told him.

"Of course." He nodded.

Dad shook his hand, and like that, John Flynn was gone. After making sure the appointment time was still good for next week, Mom, Dad, and I got into the SUV again, and Mom requested that Taylor take us to Rustique Bistro, a French restaurant she knew I loved.

I was grateful Dad ordered for all of us. Mom got the Moules Frites, Dad got the Petite Steak Au Poivre, and me the Ruby Trout Tartine. After we finished eating, we walked to various shops, buying a few things, and Mom even convinced Dad to get a few things for himself. I was tiring out though, and I think Mom noticed.

"Let's sit for a moment." Mom offered.

I nodded, grateful, and took a seat beside her.

"Do you want some water Princess?" Dad asked.

I nodded, gratefully, as he left to find a vending machine.

"Do you want to go home?" Mom asked.

I shook my head. For the first time in a while, I was enjoying myself, and enjoying having some time with just my parents. I wasn't going to let some injuries Ash and Jack caused stop me from having fun.

"Okay, well, let's sit here for a second, and rest at least." She told me.

Dad returned with a bottle of water which I happily took and began drinking. After a few moments, Mom deemed me rested enough to continue, and we kept shopping for about an hour and a half, before heading back to Christian's. Taylor insisted on taking all my bags up, so I followed Mom and Dad to the living room, where everyone was gathered.

"Have a good shopping spree?" Elliot joked with Dad.

"Oh hush Elliot, your father actually picked a few things out for himself." Mom told my brother as she lovingly ruffled his hair.

"You did?" Elliot gasped.

"What can I say, your mother and sister are bad influences?" Dad joked.

I got up and headed to my room to go read again, wanting a little time alone. I curled up in the middle of my bed and got back to my book I had put down this morning.

I felt a twinge of pain. Not from one of my injuries, but in general, just an emotional sorrow. It was indescribable, what I was feeling. I felt miserable. It was the most terrible feeling I had ever felt in my entire life. I needed to be in control for a change. I needed to have control of the pain I was experiencing. If I could control some aspect of it, I could stop it. But how? How do I cause more pain to myself? I eat the bare minimum as it is, as little as my parents will allow me to eat, but I don't feel hunger pains anymore. So what else is there?

A shiny object caught my attention. Just a tiny shiny object, one that if you just glanced at, you wouldn't see that it was shiny. It was the blade to the pencil sharpener sitting at the desk. The pencil sharpener there for when I would sketch on my trips here.

Could I bring myself to press it into my wrists again? I hadn't done that much, and it had been overlooked due to my other injuries while I was in the hospital. They had assumed _He_ did it to me, so my parents wouldn't have found a reason to hide sharp objects like they had hidden any pills that could even make you feel the tiniest bit high.

I removed my arm sling and made my way to the disk, and managed to get the little screw out of the sharpener, freeing the blade from the plastic. Without much more though, I pressed the blade against my wrist, and in one fluid movement, I jerked the blade across my skin, successfully cutting in fairly deep. The pain, it wasn't a bad pain. It was a good pain. A welcoming pain. A comforting pain. I watched as the blood flowed freely from my wrist. I had done that. No one else had made me bleed this time.

"Letty, I…" I heard my brother's voice. I scrambled to find something, anything to cover what I had just done. It was too late though. He had pushed the door to my room open and was staring right at my sliced wrist. "Juliette." He gasped as he immediately grabbed my arms.

I couldn't help my flinch. It was my instinct to cringe away from sudden movements, even from him. He didn't let go of me though and panic began to sit in.

"Letty, you're safe." He must have noticed. "I'm not going to hurt you; I just need to hold onto your arm to get the bleeding to stop."

I felt tears roll down my cheeks, and had to remind myself to breathe.

"This is deep." He shook his head. "Deep enough for stitches."

"Please don't tell Mom!" I all but sobbed, shocking myself at the words that rolled off my tongue. I don't know why I finally spoke, I guess desperation, and I think if it wasn't for the situation, Christian would seem relieved, but he didn't. He just seemed nervous. I didn't want to bother my parents anymore though. They were already taking a month off of work and dealing with me screwing up all the time. They didn't have to carry this burden too.

"Letty, I have to." He shook his head as he ripped the end of his t-shirt, and tied the fabric over the bleeding cut on my arm. "How long?"

"How long?" I whispered.

"How long have you been doing this to yourself?" He asked.

My instinct was to remain silent. To not offer up that piece of information to my brother. He didn't need to know that this started months ago. He didn't need to know that not all the cuts on my thighs and arms weren't from _Him_ , but Heather's words kept trying to come to my brain before I could think of what I wanted to do.

 _You have no idea just how badly those around you care for you and want you to help. You feel like you're a burden to them, but you are not. You aren't a burden to your family and they want you to come to them. They want to help you. They want you to lean on them when you're about to crumble down. If you just give them a chance, I promise you, you'll see that._

"A while." I admitted as tears pooled in my eyes. "I just…it was something I could control. It was something _He_ couldn't control. It was all me."

I expected a lecture. I half-expected my brother to yell at me. He didn't do either though. He offered a very sad smile as he kissed my forehead. "We're going to get you through all of this Letty, I promise you that."

He didn't seem angry. He didn't seem like I was a burden. He seemed genuine and ready to help me. Maybe Addison had something after all with her little assumption of my family.

"Do we really have to tell Mom?" I whispered.

Christian nodded. "I really think that needs stitches, and I am not qualified to do that."

"Okay." I whimpered.

"MOM!" Christian called.

A few moments passed before Mom showed up in the doorway.

"Oh Baby." Mom sighed as she took in the scene in front of her.

"I think she needs stitches." Christian admitted.

"Switch with me." Mom told Christian. "Go get my bag from the closet in Dad and my room."

Christian nodded and removed his hands from my arm, and Mom quickly gripped my bleeding wrist, putting pressure on the cut.

"I'm sorry Mom." I whispered.

She seemed shocked that I had spoken, but recovered quickly, seemingly glad that I had finally said something to her.

"I'm going to get you all fixed up." She promised me. "We're going to figure this out."

As it turns out, I _did_ need stitches. Dad came up and held my good hand while Mom got my cut sewn up. Christian refused to leave me too, watching me with—sad? Yes, sad eyes. I was exhausted, the blood loss probably adding to how much I did today, and I began to doze off.

"Take a nap Baby." Mom instructed. "We'll be right downstairs."

I nodded and allowed Mom to tuck me under the covers, carefully putting my newly bandaged arm on a pillow, elevating it so I wouldn't move it during my nap. Before anyone could say much more to me, I was out like a light, succumbing to the slumber.


	32. Chapter 32: Protected

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: So this is sort of fluffy, a little short, but I really did enjoy writing this chapter. I love Grace and Carrick, so I focused a little more on them in this chapter, but don't worry, Christian will be focused on soon.

Chapter 32: Protected

" _Traumatic events challenge an individual's view of the world as a just, safe and predictable place. Traumas that are caused by human behavior. . . commonly have more psychological impact than those caused by nature."_

― _American Psychological Association, APA Dictionary of Psychology_

Letty POV

I woke up frantically sobbing, throwing my blankets off of me and trembling harshly. There were hands on me, trying to get me to lay still, which only added to my panic.

"Letty, it's okay." I heard Christian tell me softly. "You were having a nightmare. You're safe now."

I tried to calm myself down, at least steady my breathing, but the tears wouldn't stop.

"Do you want Mom or Dad?" He asked.

I shook my head and continued trying to ease up my breathing.

"Okay." He sighed as he ran his hand through a stray piece of my hair. "Just try and breathe for me. You're safe, I promise you. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

I nodded, and continued staring into my brother's gray eyes, as he stared into mine, and eventually, I did manage to calm down. My tears subsided, my breathing evened out, and I was finally okay. Finally ready to try and speak at least some.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, breaking the eye contact and looking down

"Hey." He sighed as he gently pushed my chin up to look at him. "It is okay Squirt. I'm not mad. You have nothing to apologize for. This is what we want, for you to come to us when this happens."

I didn't answer, just offered a small nod, and he gently pushed the stray hair behind my ear.

"Mom asked me to come and wake you for dinner." Christian told me.

"I'm not hungry." I sighed.

"Come on Kiddo, you've got to eat. It's important for you to keep your strength up, especially now." He whispered.

"Do they all know?" I asked.

He sighed, looking away this time. "We thought it would be better to tell them than have them see and ask you."

"This is embarrassing." I admitted.

"Hey, none of that." Christian scolded me lightly. "No one in this house is going to give you a hard time about this. We are _all_ here to help you. No one will bring it up to you unless you talk to them about it."

"Why am I so weak?" I asked him.

"You. Are. Not. Weak." Christian told me, emphasizing each word. "You are so strong Letty, stronger than anyone I know. You went through a very traumatic event. It is only natural that you're going to be affected by it. You have been strong every single day of your life. I need you to just keep trying to be strong for me."

"I don't know if I can." I admitted.

"I know you can. I know you don't feel like you have any strength yet, but _I_ know you have plenty of strength left. You will overcome this, and you have each and every one of us here to help you." Christian told me. "You're going to be okay, even if you don't think so."

How was I ever going to be okay again? Nothing would ever be okay again.

"Come on. Let's go to dinner." Christian offered his hand, which I surprised myself by taking, and he led me downstairs.

"It's your favorite." Mom told me with a smile.

"Your mac and cheese?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes and some chicken fingers." She agreed.

We all sat down for dinner, and everyone made some polite conversation, I think to make me feel less awkward about everything that had happened today.

"Letty, I was wondering if you wanted to have a Harry Potter Movie Marathon with me." Ethan told me. "A little birdy told me Ana has never seen them, and Kate has only seen the first two, so it thought we could all make some popcorn, get some candy, and watch all the movies that have come out on DVD."

"Yeah, that would be cool." I agreed.

"As long as there's Sour Patch Kids, right?" Elliot teased me, knowing how much I loved them.

"What? They're good." I defended myself.

"Until you pour them in your popcorn along with the M&M's." Mia rolled her eyes.

"Don't forget the white cheddar seasoning." Christian added in.

"It's good." I shrugged.

"I pour candy in my popcorn too." Ana told me with a small smile.

"It makes it taste better." I offered a small smile.

"Just make sure you don't accidentally reach for her bowl of popcorn unless you want to be running for something to drink." Elliot told Kate.

"I usually like Kettle Corn." Kate told me. "I like the whole sweet and salty thing."

"I've never tried it." I admitted.

"Wait, really?" Kate asked.

"Yup." I told her.

"You haven't lived yet. We need to make some as soon as possible." Kate told me with a smile. "You'll love it."

"The best popcorn is in a city called Pigeon Forge in Tennessee." Ana told me. "They have this shop where you can buy all kinds of flavors of popcorn. They have everything from Pickle Flavored to Cheesecake and everything in-between."

"We've been to Pigeon Forge." Mom told her. "The kids, unless I'm mistaken, haven't, but Carrick and I went there when we were newlyweds for the Christmas lights."

"Oh Christmas is the best time to visit for sure." Ana smiled. "You know Christian, I could really enjoy some pickle flavored popcorn. Oh, and the peanut butter one. I could mix them together and it would be wonderful."

"Sure Babe." Christian answered, hiding his disgust.

"Those pregnancy cravings." Kate rolled her eyes.

"Hey, I'm eating for two, and Blip likes pickles and peanut butter. Not my fault." Ana smiled.

"Let the woman eat Christian." Elliot chuckled.

"I think he's a boy." I offered.

"Really?" Ana asked. "Why's that?"

"I don't know. I just have a feeling." I shrugged.

"Well, your brother here is convinced it's a girl." She smiled.

"Bet you 200 it's not." I told my brother.

"You're on." He laughed.

"I'm in." Mia agreed. "I think it's a girl."

"I'll bet on a boy." Elliot offered, high fiving me across the table.

"I swear, they'll never grow up." Mom told Dad with a smile.

"What do you think Ana?" I asked.

"I'm feeling like it may be a boy, but I don't know. I've never been pregnant before so it may just all be in my head." She patted her belly softly.

"Are you in on the bet then?" Elliot asked.

"I guess so." She smiled.

"Well I'm in too." Kate told me. "I'll bet on a boy."

"I'll bet on a girl." Ethan added.

"Mom? Dad?" Elliot asked.

"I guess I'll join the girl side." Dad chuckled.

"I think I'll join the boy side then." Mom smiled.

"All bets are off. The doctor has spoken." Christian threw his hands in the air.

"I can't tell just by looking at Ana, just grandmother's intuition I guess." Mom assured my brother.

"That's weird. You two are going to be grandparents." Elliot laughed. "You guys are getting old."

"Watch it!" Dad playfully snapped at him.

The playful banter continued throughout dinner, and desert, which was banana splits, but after desert, we were all pretty tired, so we decided to postpone our marathon until the weekend, and all headed up to bed.

Mom and Dad tucked me in again, and I closed my eyes, hoping that by some miracle, I wouldn't dream tonight. I didn't even want a good dream, I just wanted a night where I could sleep more than a few hours uninterrupted.

…

Apparently, my hope didn't work, because I woke up sobbing at 4:00AM. Luckily, I had been quiet enough no one was in my room. I thought about just going back out to the deck, and watching the sunrise again, but I was so tired. I needed more sleep, but I was too frightened to go back to sleep again. it was hard to sleep when your dreams were worse than your reality.

I thought back to Mom and Dad, practically begging me to wake them when I had nightmares. Would that really be okay? Would it be okay to be weak for a night, so I could get some sleep? I decided that it was at least worth a shot, and carefully made my way to their room.

I pushed the door open, and with tears still streaming down my cheeks, made my way to Mom's side of the bed, and gently shook her shoulder.

She woke up in an instant and sat up, turning the lamp on her bedside table on. "Oh Sweetheart." She sighed when she saw my still crying self.

"Mom—I'm scared." I admitted, more tears rolling down my cheeks.

Mom scooted more towards Dad, successfully waking him in the process, and patted the spot beside her. "Of what Baby?" She asked.

"Of falling asleep." I whispered as I sat down on the spot beside Mom. "Every time I do—I relive everything that happened to me. Not just with Ash or Jack, but of my biological parents too. It scares me. For a moment, I have to wake up, and realize that everything didn't happen, and then I'm too scared to go back to sleep."

"It's alright to be frightened." Dad whispered as he reached over Mom to squeeze my hand. "But those dreams, as real as they seem, they aren't real anymore. You're here with us. With me, Mom, Elliot, Christian, Mia, Kate, Ana, and Ethan. None of us will let anything hurt you while you're with us. Even if something made it past all eight of us, you'd have Christian's security team protecting you too."

"I just want the bad dreams to stop." I sobbed. "It's so hard to go to sleep when every night it's like watching a scary movie. The worst part is, the monster in my dreams, they're real. The things that happen in my dreams, they've happened before."

"What was this one about?" Mom whispered as she softly rubbed my back, continuing even as I flinched, waiting until I was less tense to begin rubbing in soothing circles.

"I was little again." I whispered. "Before you and Dad saved me. But it wasn't just my mother and father hurting me. Jack and Ash were there too. I told them to stop, I begged them to, but they kept hurting me. They were hitting me and burning me and then Jack and Ash held me down so my biological father could rape me. My biological mother didn't help at all, she just watched and laughed at me. Encouraged them. It's like all my memories are mixing together when I sleep to make the worst nightmare possible. It hurts." I sobbed.

"I know it does Baby." Mom whispered as she continued rubbing my back.

"When will it stop hurting?" I cried.

"Honestly Princess, those dreams, they'll always hurt when you have them, but talking to us about them, or talking to Heather, or any of your siblings, it may help you have them less often so that you won't have to hurt. I won't promise they'll stop completely, maybe even never, but they'll get some better. I have to believe that." Dad told me.

"How long have you been having nightmares?" Mom asked softly.

"I can't remember not having them unless I had really—" I cut myself off.

"You can tell us Darling, we won't be angry." Mom assured me.

"Unless I really got high or drank to the point I passed out instead of slept." I whispered.

"Is that why you got into the party scene?" Dad asked softly. "To try and make them go away."

I nodded. "I'm sorry. I should have come to you two, but I didn't want to disappoint you, or make you make me go to therapy. The parties—they made me happy. The drinking, it made me feel things less. The drugs—they made me stop feeling all together. I—I got involved with Ash because he provided me the drugs and always had them. I didn't—I didn't know how he was going to make me get them. If I had known—I would have stopped, maybe. I don' know. The first time he ever—the first time we had sex…" I began.

"I'm going to stop you for one second." Mom cut me off. "What you and he did, that is not sex. From what you've told me, it wasn't consensual. Sex is about love and trust between two people who care deeply about one another. You and Ash weren't having sex, it was rape."

I nodded, not wanting to say the word though, I continued, beating around having to say the word _rape_ because she was wrong. Rape would mean I had fought him and told him to say no. I had only done that the first time. The rest of the time, I had gone to him, and let him do whatever he wanted. Maybe the first time was rape, but the rest of the times were just me being a slut.

"The first time it happened, it was at my birthday party." I whispered. "I didn't really know what he was going to do, and I told him to stop. I wanted him to stop, but he wouldn't. I was so scared Mommy. It hurt so bad."

She tensed beside me, her hand freezing on my back for a split second before she continued rubbing the soothing circles.

"The next times, I would just—I don't know. I would block everything out. It was like a job, so I could get the pills that helped me." I sighed.

"Do you know what dissociating means?" Mom asked.

I shook my head.

"It's basically when you detach yourself from the emotions and experiences going on around you. It happens a lot during traumatic events. I think that's probably what you were doing." Mom told me.

"Is that bad?" I asked.

"It was your body's way of trying to protect you all those times." She told me. "I wouldn't say it was _bad_ per say. I do want you to mention it to Heather if you think you can."

"I'll try." I whispered. "I wish I could do that in the dreams, but I can't. I think that's what makes them so hard. I experience things more fully in them than I even did in real life."

"I'm so sorry Baby." Mom sighed.

"If I could take the bad dreams away, any of the pain, even if it meant feeling it myself, I would do so in a heartbeat." Dad told me. "All I've ever wanted is for you and your siblings to be happy, and it hurts me to see you hurting."

"I just want to be normal." I whispered. "I just want to go back to my life before Ash."

"I don't mean this to upset you Darling, but the path you were on, even before Ash, would have led to destruction eventually. I'm not saying that I am glad any of this happened to you, but I _am_ glad that it brought some attention to everything you were trying to go through on your own. I _am_ glad that we can help you now." Mom told me.

"There were times where…" I sighed. "Times where I wanted to tell you or Dad, or anyone really. I think I knew in my mind something was wrong with me, but I just—I wanted to feel okay and the pills, they helped me so much."

"The thing about pills and alcohol is that they don't _actually_ help you, they just mask the pain you're experiencing temporarily. It's like putting a band aid on a bullet wound. It may temporarily help it, and cover the wound from other people, but you still have a bullet hole in your body, and you still have to eventually have it treated." Mom told me.

"I'm so nervous about everything that's going to happen." I admitted. "I'm worried that I'm not going to get better. What if I'm just too broken?"

"You are not broken beyond repair." Mom told me. "You're hurting, and you need help, but you aren't broken beyond repair."

"You just need to trust us, and allow us, and others, in, so we can help you. I know it doesn't seem like anything will get better. I know, right now, you're looking into this very dark tunnel, and don't see any light, but I promise you, if you keep allowing people to help you through that tunnel, you'll get closer and closer to the light. There is a light at the end of the tunnel." Dad offered softly.

"Mom, Dad…" I sighed. "I'm—well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I became such a disappointment. I'm sorry that you guys wound up with a daughter who would do something like this after giving me so much. I'm sorr—"

"Wait." Dad cut me off. "You are not a disappointment Letty. You made some mistakes, but you are not a disappointment. We will never regret taking you home that day. You are our daughter, and you will be no matter what mistakes you make."

"Nonetheless, I'm really sorry. I broke some of your biggest rules. I endangered my own life, countless times, I was dishonest, I drank a lot underage while I wasn't under your supervision, I used illegal substances, I just don't get it." I whispered.

"Don't get what?" Mom asked.

"How you can still love me after all of this when I can't even find it in me to love myself." I whispered.

"We will _never_ stop loving you." Mom told me. "You could do much worse things and we would still love you. We will _always_ love you, no matter what you do, no matter what happens."

"How can you though?" I whispered. "I'm not—I'm not living up to the Grey name."

"Princess, you're a child." Dad told me. "You are a child who did some things that, honestly, we aren't proud of, but I don't think you're proud of them either. Children are meant to make mistakes, and parents are meant to help them learn from them. I think you're proving to use that you're learning from your mistakes each day."

"I'm trying." I admitted.

"Let's go back for a second." Mom told me. "You said something about not loving yourself."

"I don't." I whispered.

"You'll learn, in time, that your mistakes don't define you. You need to learn to give yourself a little credit Darling. Most people who went through what you did…" Mom shook her head, wiping a stray tear from her eyes.

"You've been so brave Little One, and so strong. You've bottled all of this up and taken care of it on your own for so long. It's time you really start letting us help you. You are making a big step tonight just by coming to us, and talking to us. Do you think you can keep making steps like this?" Dad asked.

"I'll try." I promised him. "I don't want to disappoint you anymore than I already have."

Mom and Dad looked at each other for a second, before Dad answered.

"We were disappointed in some of your actions." Dad admitted. "We were more disappointed in the two men that did all of this to you. But we are not disappointed in you as a person."

"You're still proud of me?" I whispered.

"Yes Darling, of course." Mom promised me.

I sat in silence for a few moments, thinking about everything they had told me. I didn't understand how they could still even love me, let alone be proud of me. My parents didn't seem burdened by me waking them, or even for keeping them up late, talking. They seemed to appreciate it. They seemed to almost enjoy it. They seemed relieved.

"Mommy—I don't, I don't want to go back to sleep but I'm so tired." I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Why don't you sleep in here with us tonight? It may help you." Mom told me.

"Okay." I whispered.

"Climb in the middle." She told me as she moved to turn the light off.

I snuggled in between my parents in their large bed, both being very careful not to touch me so I wouldn't panic, and for the first time in a very, very long time, I felt safe, protected, and loved.


	33. Chapter 33: Surviving, Not Living

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Wow it has been way too long since I've done anything for this story. I'm so, so, so sorry you guys that I haven't posted in literally forever. I started realizing it's been nearly a year since I posted this, and I figured it was about time I actually finished the story. I had actually planned to do fifty chapters (because like fifty shades), but this chapter—well, it was a good place to end. I'm leaving room for a sequel. I think I'll at least do an epilogue for this story one day, but I don't know if I can commit to a sequel until summer vacation.

It has been a true pleasure writing this story. Letty holds a special place in my heart. Thank you for all the reviews you guys have left and I hope maybe you'll have some final thoughts with this final chapter of Letty's story (for now). You all are fabulous!

Chapter 33: Surviving, Not Living

" _When you go through a traumatic event, there's a lot of shame that comes with that. A lot of loss of self-esteem. That can become debilitating."_

― _Willie Aames_

Letty POV

I woke up feeling rested for the first time in honestly, months. Mom was still in bed with me, but she was propped up reading a book. Dad was gone, but judging by the light coming in the windows, I had slept well past morning, and he was probably up by now.

"Morning, Darling." Mom smiled.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Just past noon." She told me.

"Noon?" I asked.

"You needed the rest." She chuckled at my expression. "You can probably ditch the sling today as long as you don't overuse that arm."

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

She nodded. "Now, I do want to take a look at your arm to make sure the stitches are doing alright. Is that okay?"

"Okay." I agreed.

She gently took my arm in her hands and began to unbandage my wrist. I looked away, not really wanting to see the cut I had self-inflicted. Mom got up from the bed and got her bag from the closet and wrapped some new gauze around it.

"I want you to keep it covered for a few more days before going without the gauze. Did you have trouble keeping it dry when you showered?" She asked. I shook my head. "Good. What about your other injuries? Has anything else been hurting you?"

I shook my head. "A little sore, but no _pain_. I still get kind of tired from walking too much."

"It'll be like that for a while unfortunately." She told me. "I'll only be worried if you're still exhausted after the month is up."

"Mom?" I asked.

"What is it Darling?" She asked.

"What do people at school think happened to me? Like, where do they think I am?" I asked.

She pierced her lips, looking very much so like she didn't want to answer that question. I frowned at her response. She knew whatever she would tell me would make me unhappy.

"We initially told them there was an accident, and you needed time to recover." Mom told me softly. "The school agreed to give you a month where they won't make you worry about school work, but if you need more time, they'll send your assignments home and you'll have to complete them."

"You said initially?" I asked.

"I guess we can't hide it from you for too long." She sighed.

"Hide what?" I frowned.

"The tabloids published a story. It wasn't completely false, but it wasn't exactly the truth either." She told me calmly. "Kate flew back to try and get the story down, but quite a few people have already read it and even with Kate's persistence, the story wasn't removed until just a few hours ago."

"What did the story say?" I asked.

"It came after the reasons for Jack and Ash's arrest were made public." Mom frowned. "It talked about how Jack and Ash managed to have you and Mia kidnapped, and then it talked about how Jack and Ash sexually assaulted you."

"So, everyone knows?" I began to panic.

"Take a breath Sweetie." Mom instructed. "They don't know everything. They don't know about the drugs or the alcohol or the nature of your and Ash's relationship prior to the kidnapping, they just know that Jack and Ash raped you."

"I don't want to go back." I whispered.

"Sweetie—" Mom began.

"No! I'm not going back!" I sobbed.

"Just breathe. That won't even be a question for a little while. We'll cross this bridge when we come to it, but for now, we just want you to focus on getting better. If you still feel like this at the end of the month, we can have you do your assignments with a tutor from home until next semester, but we don't have to decide that now." Mom assured me.

"I guess that's fair." I sighed.

"Now, you must be hungry. It's—well, lunch time, but do you want some waffles? Dad said they saved some batter for you so you could have them fresh. Mia made them." Mom smiled.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I'll go get out of my pajamas and head down." I told her.

"Alright Darling." Mom smiled.

I quickly went to my room and got changed before making my way to the kitchen where Mia was just pulling a large waffle off the waffle maker for me.

"Fruit, syrup, chocolate, or peanut butter?" She asked.

"Chocolate and banana?" I asked.

"Of course." She laughed.

"Where is everyone?" I asked as I sat at the bar, Mia taking the open seat beside me.

"Mom went to go and find the boys who were all fishing I think. Ana and Kate are working in Seattle today." She told me.

"So, it's just you and me for now?" I asked.

"Until Mom brings the boys back for lunch. I know you're eating now, but do you want to help me make something for them?" She asked.

"I'm surprised the Gail and Mrs. Bentley are letting you cook. They're usually chomping at the bit to feed us all." I laughed.

"It took some convincing, but they're taking three days off, so you'll have to endure Mom and my cooking for a while. Maybe Ana's too." She teased.

"Mia, you know that I adore your cooking." I assured her.

"Oh, I know." She laughed. "Tonight, I'm making the family some French cuisine, but I think you have other plans."

"I do?" I frowned.

"Christian wanted to take you out for dinner." She told me.

"Is that code for Christian wanting to get me alone to make me talk to him?" I laughed.

"Could be." She shrugged. "So, do you want to help with lunch after you eat?"

"What are you making?" I asked.

"Just some fresh broccoli and cheddar soup." She shrugged.

"Yeah, I'll help." I agreed.

"Okay cool, you can chop the broccoli and carrots." She told me.

I did just that, once I was done with my breakfast/lunch/brunch? Who really knows what it's called when you have breakfast food at lunch time. Right as Mia was dumping the newly cut vegetable into the pot she was stirring, the boys and Mom returned.

"Morning Sleepy Head." Elliot told me as he ruffled my hair, which I quickly reached back to fix.

"Lelliot." I huffed.

"Squirt!" He huffed right back.

"How would you like it if I messed up your hair every time I saw you?" I countered.

"Impossible. You can't reach my head." He laughed.

"One day, I'm going to grow up and be taller than all of you, and none of your short jokes will ever work again." I told him.

"Yeah, keep dreaming Letty." Christian laughed.

"Lunch is ready." Mia announced.

I sat with my family as they ate, and listened to the boys telling Mia about the fish they had caught, and her telling them which ones she wanted to prepare in the coming days for dinner. Dad agreed to clean them so Mia could stick them in the freezer.

After they finished lunch, everyone went their own ways again, and I decided to finish up the first Harry Potter books so I could move on to the second. I decided to read it outside though, and enjoy some fresh air, so I pulled on a coat, grabbed a blanket, and made my way to the deck where I curled up and settled into the book.

"Hey Letty?" Christian asked.

I looked up from my book for a second as he sat by my feet. "Yes?" I asked.

"I was wondering if you would get dinner with me tonight, just the two of us?" He offered.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked him.

"L'Hostaria." He told me. "I've been in the mood for some Italian recently. If you want something else though, we can get whatever you want."

"L'Hostaria sounds good to me." I smiled.

"Okay, we can leave here around 7:00." He decided. "Are you really re-reading the Harry Potter series again?"

"They're my favorites." I defended myself.

"I know they are, I just don't get why you read them at least what, twice a year?" He asked.

"Three times." I corrected. "Summer vacation, Christmas break, and either over Spring or Fall break. I may read them more this year."

"But you already know what happens in them." He told me.

"I know, but they captivate me. I enter into the world of Harry Potter when I pick up the books, and almost forget reality. I don't know how to explain it. Maybe you should try to read them." I suggested.

"I've already seen all the movies, several times, thanks to you." He chuckled.

"The books are so much better though. You have got to read them." I told him

"Maybe I will." He offered. "Ana would probably never let me live it down."

"You better believe my niece or nephew will get Harry Potter as their bedtime stories from me." I told him.

"Aren't bedtime stories more like Mother Goose and Dr. Seuss?" He asked.

"You're never too young for Harry Potter." I disagreed. "And never too old."

"Will you leave me alone if I read the first one?" He asked with a smile.

"I guess so." I told him. "I'll be done with it after today, and you can read it after. You'll be hooked though, and want to read the rest of them."

"I doubt that." He shook his head.

"Want to bet?" I asked.

"We're already betting on my baby, let's just keep it one bet at a time so you don't go broke." He teased.

"So _I_ don't go broke? I think you're underestimating my betting abilities. You may be knocked from a billionaire to a millionaire if you keep betting against me." I shrugged.

"I think my financial advisors would be thoroughly disappointed if my company suffered due to me losing bets against my fifteen-year-old sister." He told me.

"I think _my_ financial advisors would be rather pleased with me if that were to happen." I smiled.

" _I_ think _your_ financial advisors for the time being are Mom and Dad." He laughed.

"They'd probably feel a little conflicted about all of it." I smiled.

"I'm going to head back inside and let you get back to Harry." He told me. "Find me if you need anything."

"I will." I told him.

Christian left me alone and I got back to my reading. I was a little nervous that I was so far, having a good day. I knew it just meant I would start thinking about things, and once I did, I was get upset. I wish I knew I could just have a good day, but that would literally be a miracle. I just hoped I didn't have a complete freak out. Reading was a distraction though, so I could postpone any bad thoughts for at least a few hours.

I flipped the last page in my book and sighed. The first was over, and I didn't plan on starting the second until tomorrow, so I had to figure out what to do. If it was snowy, I would be outside and either playing in the snow or snowboarding. If I weren't as injured, I would be on a dirt bike or hiking. But I couldn't do any of the usual Aspen activities. I decided to go and see if I could convince someone to take me into town.

I decided Christian would be my best bet. Mia would wear me out shopping, Elliot wouldn't want to go into town in fear of shopping, and Mom and Dad had just gone into town with me the other day. Christian would probably agree.

I found my brother in his home office, looking at his computer screen. "I thought you were taking the week off."

"I was just checking my email." He assured me.

"Will you take me into town for a little bit before dinner?" I asked.

"Anything in particular you want to do?" He asked.

"Just get away for a bit. I don't want to go with Mia because she'll want to shop a ton and Mom and Dad just took me." I shrugged.

"Yeah, we can go into town. Let me go grab Taylor and tell Mom and Dad we're going out." He told me. "We won't have much time unless you want to get ready for dinner before we go."

"I can do that." I told him.

"Alright, meet me downstairs whenever you're ready." He told me.

I nodded and left for my room, and slipped into a sweater dress, leggings, and boots as well as running a brush through my hair and putting a touch of makeup on. Christian was dressed more formally than he had been in a suit and heavier coat to be outside in.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Ready." I agreed.

Taylor drove us into town and parked so Christian and I could walk around the center of town. We went in a few stores, not finding much, and eventually came to an animal shelter.

"Can we please—" I began.

"Nope." He disagreed.

"Can we just—" I asked.

"No." He argued.

"Please, Christian, can we please go pet some puppies?" I asked, using my very best puppy dog eyes on him.

"Fine." He sighed. "But you're not getting one."

"Never said I was." I told him. "I just want to see them."

"Fine, but don't get dog hair on me." He cautioned.

Christian and I pushed the door open to the shelter, and the lady told us we could find our way around. There were tons of dogs and cats, but one in particular caught my eye. It was a little ball of fluff, at least that was the best way I could describe it.

"That's an Alaskan Malamute puppy." Christian told me.

"You know the oddest things. I could have sworn it was a Husky." I told him.

"They look very similar, especially as puppies, but that's definitely a Malamute." He told me.

"I'm going to go pet it." I told him.

He nodded and I unlocked the pin, and stepped in. I held out my hand and the puppy responded by licking me happily. I lifted it in my arms and smiled as I snuggled her. She was so fluffy and cuddly.

"His name is Frank." Christian told me, looking over the card on the door to the pin.

"Hi Frank." I smiled as I continued holding him, rubbing his little belly. "You are so pretty."

He barked in response, and licked my face.

"Christian can we please…" I began.

"Absolutely not." He disagreed.

"But look at him." I whined.

"Nope." He told me.

" _Look_ at him Christian." I tried again.

He looked up at me and did offer a tiny smile.

"He is pretty as far as puppies go." He admitted.

"Just say it. He's cute." I told him.

"Okay fine, he _is_ cute." He agreed.

"Please can we get him?" I asked.

"Letty…" He sighed.

"Please?" I begged.

"Oh God, fine." He sighed. "But Mom and Dad are going to _kill_ me."

"It'll be fine." I told him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I squealed.

"Thank me if Mom and Dad agree to let you keep her." He rolled his eyes.

My brother went through all the paperwork with the lady at the desk as I continued holding Frank the puppy in my arms. "Do you want to rename him?" Christian pulled me out of my trance.

I looked at the puppy and decided I really wasn't fond of the name Frank for him. But what to call him? I found myself torn between three names—Padfoot, Moony, and Dobby. Padfoot seemed most fitting based on the puppy's personality.

"Padfoot please." I told him and the lady. "You spell it P-A-D-F-O-O-T. All one word. It's from my favorite book series."

"Padfoot it is." The lady smiled. "He's got all of his shots and he's already neutered but make sure to take him to the vet in a few weeks for a check-up and to finish out his early puppy shots. He'll make a great friend."

I had a huge, satisfied grin on my lips and Christian even seemed to be enjoying the puppy in my arms as we walked outside. Taylor greeted us and had a shocked, then surprised, then amused look on his face as he took in the situation.

"You caved, didn't you, Sir?" He asked Christian.

"I mean look at it. Between that cute puppy and my cute little sister—I was doomed. Mom and Dad are going to absolutely murder me but oh well." Christian shrugged.

"Thank you so much Christian." I smiled again at my brother as we climbed into the back of the car, Padfoot happily sitting in my lap.

"Where do you want to go now?" Christian asked.

"Padfoot needs things. We should go to the pet shop and pick him out some toys and stuff." I decided happily.

"Hear that Taylor?" Christian asked.

"To the pet shop we go." He chuckled.

We arrived at the pet store in no time, and Christian and I got a buggy before looking around at all the stuff. First, we got the necessities. Food and water bowls, a crate, a bed, food, treats, puppy pads, a leash, and a cute collar with a tag. Then, we let Padfoot pick out some toys. That basically just consisted of me putting him on the ground and letting him lick some toys until I deemed he had enough. Christian picked a few things out for Padfoot too.

"He needs a sweater." I decided.

"Letty." Christian rolled his eyes.

"Well he does. It's cold outside. He may get chilled." I told my brother.

"He's a dog." Christian countered.

"He's a baby." I defended.

"You're going to take more of his masculinity away. He already lost enough when the cut off his balls." Christian huffed.

"Christian!" I scolded, but laughed too because it was funny.

"Fine, we can get the pup a few sweaters if you insist." He chuckled.

I picked out a three sweaters and a jacket. I didn't want to get Padfoot too much because he was going to grow soon and would surely outgrow whatever I got for him. I put one on him and he happily licked my face as he wagged his little tail.

"See? He likes it!" I exclaimed to my brother.

"Okay, I do have to admit that was very cute. Now, can we get all this stuff paid for and get out of here before you pick out more unnecessary things for the dog?" Christian asked.

I stuck my tongue out at my brother who did the same right back before we made our way to the check-out to pay for everything. Taylor helped get everything loaded in the car. When Christian and I were in the backseat again, Padfoot hopped out of my lap and went right over to my brother, making himself very comfortable in my brother's lap.

Taylor took us to the restaurant and offered to watch Padfoot for us as we ate. Christian got us a table with a good view, and then we ordered our drinks—wine for my brother, a coke for me. Christian and I both ordered our favorite dish—Tagliolini all'Astice, and then Christian sort of looked at me like he had something to ask.

"What's on your mind?" I asked him.

"I don't know if I should ask." He admitted.

"Why not?" I countered.

"You've just had a really good day—I don't want to bring things up that may upset you." He sighed.

"You can ask." I told him.

"We haven't had too much of a chance to talk on our own. How have you been doing since the other night?" He glanced at my wrist.

"I'm—okay." I sighed, trying to figure out if I should open up to my brother or not.

"You had done that before, but I'm assuming never that deep. What changed?" He asked.

"I just wanted to feel something. I wanted to feel pain, but pain that I caused, not pain caused by anyone else. I know that doesn't make much sense." I sighed.

"It makes perfect sense to me." He sighed. "That's—that's why I sometimes found it enjoyable to be the submissive to Elena. I know you've been kept somewhat in the dark about all of that—per my request, but I think you have a right to know. I consented to what she did—that doesn't make her actions right because I was a child when everything occurred, but still, I consented, she caused pain, and therefore I was in control. Then I became in control of the pain I inflicted on others. It's really fucked up, I'm not going to lie to you. I also do think you deserve to know that what you experienced at the hands of those monsters—that wasn't even a true BDSM like relationship. That was torture, abuse, rape, but it wasn't like what I had. I don't want you to ever think of me like a monster. I would never treat someone the way either of those men treated you."

I had been a little weary around Christian ever since Ash started doing things to me, and I think that's because I had known bits and pieces about him being a dominant, and I didn't want to picture him doing that to women. But for him to tell me it was different—it did help some.

"So it was about control for you?" I asked.

He nodded.

"That's why I cut. I really do like the control." I told him.

"There are many more, less risky things you can do to feel in control. I hope that you'll be taught them and that you'll stop wanting to hurt yourself. I think your therapist can help you with that." Christian offered.

"What about when we leave?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"What if I learn to trust Heather, and make some sort of bond, but then I have to switch again. Plus, I think Dr. Flynn may be irritated with me. If I were him, I would have given up on me a long time ago." I sighed.

"I've grown to know Flynn well—I believe at least, and let me tell you Letty, he's not one to give up on people. If he hasn't given up on me yet, he certainly hasn't given up on you. But if you do grow to trust Heather and want to continue with her, then I'll do everything to make sure you can. Even if that means once a week, we take the jet from Seattle to Aspen so you can see her. We'll work things out. Don't hold back on trusting her just because you worry over the future." My brother offered.

Our conversation halted as our food was brought out, but once the waiter left, it resumed. "Christian, I don't know if I really want to know the answer to this but….well…." I trailed off.

"You can ask me anything." He assured me.

"You and Ana—you guys…I mean, like what you have, it's not anything like what was done to me, is it?" I asked.

"God no." He promised me. "I won't lie, when Ana and I started—well…I never expected to fall in love, but now I am madly in love with her, and we are married and I want to have a family with her. You know, I did enjoy the lifestyle I was in before Ana, and certain components of it, but ever since what happened to you—God, Letty, I really can't imagine ever even thinking about doing things related to BDSM ever again."

"I'm glad you've found her—Ana I mean. I love her too Christian. She's turned out to make a really good sister." I told him.

"I'm glad." He smiled.

We kept talking through dinner, and then got desert, and finally headed home. Christian groaned as Padfoot pranced over to him to lick his face.

"I almost had forgotten about the monster." He chuckled as Padfoot came back over to me and laid down in my lap. "Mom and Dad really are going to murder me."

"They like dogs." I offered with a shrug, and a hopeful smile.

"They like dogs that don't live with them." He chuckled. "Just make sure they see how happy Padfoot makes you—that's what sold me."

I laughed. "Will do."

We got back to the house and I cradled Padfoot in my arms as I walked inside with Christian, leaving Taylor to unload the car. We made our way to the family room where everyone was sort of watching a movie, but all more doing their own thing like reading, or in Ethan and Dad's case, playing chess.

"What is that?" Mia asked as she looked over to us, her eyes focused on the puppy in my arms.

"His name's Padfoot." I told her with a big smile.

My statement had everyone else looking at us, and then Mom and Dad turned to look at Christian. "You didn't." Dad groaned.

"Sorry?" Christian offered sheepishly.

Padfoot licked my face and I giggled, and Mom and Dad looked over to me, trying to look stern, but a smile broke out on Mom's face as I continued laughing with Padfoot still licking me.

"You know, they say that animals are really good in helping trauma victims heal." Ethan offered nonchalantly.

"Look how cute he is!" Mia squealed as she ran up to me and began petting Padfoot, causing him to wiggle his tail all over the place.

"Please, can I keep him?" I asked my parents.

"Fine." Dad told me. "But you're training him."

"Deal!" I agreed.

Everyone took their turns cuddling Padfoot, and that puppy really did lighten the room. Everyone loved him, but I think I was definitely Padfoot's favorite. He kept wanting to come back to me when he would get tired of the others. I was worn out pretty early, the eventful day had truly exhausted me. I got ready for bed, Padfoot tucked away with me in my bed as I began to read the second Harry Potter book. Christian came up to check on us.

"Mom and Dad will be up in a second to say goodnight." He told me.

"Thank you for Padfoot." I told him.

He chuckled as he sat on the side of my bed. "Mom and Dad took it better than I expected."

"I just hope Ethan's right. I hope Padfoot does something to help me heal. Because being this damaged really sucks." I sighed.

Christian sighed as he kissed my forehead. "Letty, your past—it doesn't define you. It has never defined you and it never will. You're not damaged, you're just hurting. This hurt will go away. The pain won't last. You've learned how to survive, and you've done it so well, but I fear you haven't really ever allowed yourself to learn how to live. Right now, you're just surviving but soon, you'll learn to live again. Survival—it keeps you alive, but living, that helps you enjoy being here. It gives you purpose. It's almost like you've been in a constant warzone, but now, the war is over. With the war over, it's time to learn what to do with life now that you're not going to be forced to just survive. I love you Kid, get some rest."


	34. Chapter 34: Epilogue

Fifty Shades of Trouble

Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?

AN: Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews! This is not only an epilogue, but also a prologue to the sequel which is in the makes right now. You've all been wonderful readers and I can't wait for you all to read "Fifty Shades of Habits".

Chapter 34: Epilogue

Letty POV

 _Three Years Later_

"You did it Kid." Dad smiled at me proudly as we pulled up outside of what was about to be my dorm at Yale University—Vanderbilt Hall, which is where all the freshman of my residential college—Saybrook—were housed.

Even though Dad joked about me bashing his name by choosing Yale over Harvard, he was ultimately very proud of me. I had made a huge turn around in the past three years. When it came down to Yale or Harvard, my final two choices, I had honestly just liked Yale better, and I wanted to make my own legacy at a university, not follow in my siblings' footsteps.

As I stared at what I was initially amazed by—the place I would spend my first year as an "adult", I felt intimidated. I found myself suddenly wishing that I had chosen University of Washington or somewhere closer. I was on the literal other side of the country, and after they left today, I would be a long way away from my parents.

"You'll do fine, Darling." Mom offered as she reached over to squeeze my knee.

Mom had chosen to ride in the back with me as Dad finished out the drive that we had been making for the past few days. We had stopped in various cities around the country before finally making it to New Haven.

"I guess we shouldn't delay it any longer." I mumbled.

Dad found a parking spot fairly close to the entry of the dorm, and he, Mom, and I all made our way inside the dorm, and in the line to check in.

"Letty." I heard my best friend say from behind me.

"Rocklin!" I threw myself in his arms and he reciprocated the hug. "How was the drive?"

"Fine. Dad drives like an old man though." Rocklin teased.

"Yeah, yeah, make fun of your old man." Laurence rolled his eyes as he ruffled his son's hair.

"Key word Dad, old." Rocklin chuckled.

"I'm glad you two will be in the same building this year." Mom told Rocklin as she gave him a gentle hug. "Keep an eye out on her, would you?"

"Mom!" I blushed.

"Please make sure Rocklin doesn't make me a grandfather." Laurence told me.

"Dad!" Rocklin blushed.

"Letty! Rocklin!" I heard from behind us.

"Macy!" I squealed.

Macy had come a long way in the past two years. After the trial, a lot came to light about what a lot of my friends were involved with too. Dr. Rob and Nora were furious with Macy and Liam. They forced both of their children into rehab centers and in the meantime, they moved to a different home less easily partied in, and Dr. Rob and Nora stopped traveling. Macy and I had made up soon after she got out of rehab. Now, she was going to be one of my five roommates.

"Rob, Nora." My father greeted the two.

"Carrick, Grace." Dr. Rob greeted my parents with a smile. "Laurence."

The adults all started to make small talk as we waited in line, and eventually, we were all checked in and given room keys. Macy and I were in one of the three bedrooms attached to the living space. Rocklin was right across the hall from us.

"We'll have to go furniture shopping for your living room once we get you all settled into your bedroom." Mom told me as she began unpacking a box.

I teared up as I pulled out a picture of me holding my two nieces and my nephew. Teddy is three now, Ava and Phoebe both around one, and it's hard to imagine only seeing them on breaks. It's hard to imagine only seeing my siblings and parents on breaks too.

"You'll see them more than you realize." Dad told me as he realized what I was looking at. "Your siblings will probably be visiting you more than you want. That goes for your mom and I too. We can't stay away too long."

"Sorry." I sighed as I wiped my eyes. "I didn't expect to be getting so emotional today."

"It's okay Darling, it's a big change." Mom told me. "Here, I found your bedding. Let's get your bed made up, you always like it when you have your bed made."

I nodded in agreement and headed over to her. I was a little obsessed with my dorm décor. Macy and I had gone shopping with our mothers at Urban Outfitters for all the decorations and bedding and such that would go in our actual bedroom, and I had loved everything I had chosen. My bedding specifically had two different sheets, both white with black designs. The first set had stars and moons, the second set had sloths on it. My comforter had constellations on it and was black with white designs. I had two throw blankets for my bed, one with constellations that matched my comforter, and one plushy white/gray blanket. The throw pillows were cool too—which I had four of. One was a sloth, another was a llama. There was a white with black designs, and a black with white designs, and then Macy and I had got matching letter pillows that had flowers around it to match tapestries that we had bought, also from Urban Outfitters. Everything I got really matched my aesthetic as of lately, and I was happy with it all.

"Mom, have you found my bedding yet?" I heard Macy ask Nora.

"I just found all of your wall art. Dad's probably bringing it in." Nora told her.

"I guess I'll hang all that up then." Macy decided. "Can you unpack all my school things and put it in some sort of organization on my desk?"

"Knock, knock." I heard.

I froze. I knew that voice. Mia.

"MIA!" I squealed as I turned around and literally threw myself into my older sister's arms. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't think I would let my little sister move into her freshman dorm without me, did you?" She asked with a laugh.

"Or us." Elliot's voice sounded and I turned to see him and Christian.

Literal tears filled my eyes as I threw myself onto both of them, one arm wrapped around each, which was impressive considering they each had a box in their arms.

"You guys." I whispered, tears freely flowing down my cheeks.

"I wish Liam would've surprised me." I heard Macy sigh.

"You don't give me enough credit Sis." Liam walked into our much too small for the amount of people dorm and Macy squealed as she hugged him.

With three extra sets of hands helping Mom, Dad, and me, and one extra set helping Macy, Dr. Rob, and Nora, Macy and I were moved in quickly. Our room looked awesome—just like we had dreamt of. My brothers both sat on my bed while Mia went around straightening photos and Mom sat in my desk chair with Dad behind her.

"Alright, everything seems to be straight now." Mia finally decided as she stepped back. "And I'm starving."

"Why don't we go grab a bite to eat?" Dad offered.

"First, I think we should check in on Rocklin." I laughed.

"Where are your other roommates?" Nora asked us.

"I think they said they're moving in kind of late today." Macy told them.

"Theodora and Alexandra both had to drive from Alaska, so they're probably on the road somewhere. Rosalie was driving from California. Eleanor had to stay late for her brother's college graduation from Columbia. Their summer graduation was late." I filled in.

"She pays better attention than I do." Macy laughed.

"Well, why don't you two go check on Rocklin and his father. Extend an invitation to lunch, I'll call around and make a reservation somewhere." Dad told us.

"Then we can hit up somewhere for furniture, right?" I asked him.

"Of course we can." He agreed.

Macy and I headed out of our fairly large suite—though once there was furniture in the living area and kitchen stuff in the kitchen I'm sure it wouldn't look as grand—and knocked on Rocklin's door.

"Come in!" He called.

I pushed the door open and we found the room he was staying in. "No roommate yet for you either, huh?" I asked.

"Nope. He's getting here at like 5:00 I think." Rocklin told us as he finished making up his bed.

"Well, we're all done moving in aside from the living room." Macy told him.

"Dad wanted to know if you two wanted to go get lunch with us." I told Rocklin and Laurence.

"That would be great." Rocklin told us. "If that's cool with you Dad."

"That sounds wonderful. I think Rocklin and I can be finished up in about ten minutes, is that okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, Dad was calling to make a reservation so that should give more time. We're also going furniture shopping afterwards if you want to join. I'm going to try to convince Mom and Dad to do Target because let's face it, that's the best store." I laughed. "Do you guys need help moving in the rest of the stuff?"

"Will one of you make my bed?" Rocklin whined.

"One day, he'll actually appreciate a made bed." Laurence laughed.

"On it." I told him as he tossed me a throw pillow.

Macy and I helped Rocklin finish moving in before taking him to our room. He looked around and laughed. "Well, it's certainly more decorated than mine."

"Yours was pretty good for a guy's dorm." Macy shrugged.

"I didn't realize the whole Grey clan was coming for move-in day." Laurence told my father.

"We couldn't convince them to not fly down." Dad laughed in response. "I got us reservations at The Cheesecake Factory. Does everyone know how they're getting there?"

"We've got a rental car—Christian wouldn't let us Uber so…" Elliot trailed off.

I laughed at the thought of my CEO brother in an Uber and rolled my eyes at him. Everyone assured Dad they had a way to get to the restaurant, and then we all left.

Lunch went smoothly. Everyone had things to talk about. I felt a little pull at my heart again and teared up, realizing this would be the last meal with my whole family together for a while, but I pulled myself together fairly quickly and joined in the conversation with Macy about furniture and Target.

After Lunch, we did go to the nearest Target, and between Macy and me, we bought a full living room set of furniture and a new TV as well as kitchen appliances, cookware, bakeware, the likes. One of my roommates was supplying a dining table and another all the decorations for the living room. So after everyone got to the dorm today, everything would be set up in our little humble abode of Vanderbilt Hall 108.

We got back to the dorm and my brothers and Liam moved all the furniture in, with Mia directing where to put everything. Elliot got the smart TV all set up for us while Mom and Nora organized the kitchen. Eventually, everything was all settled, and I was very aware my parents would be leaving soon. Luckily, their leaving was delayed by the arrival of all four of our roommates and their parents.

It was weird to see the four girls in person for the first time that Macy and I had been texting all summer long. Of course we had stalked their social media some, so we knew what they looked like, but in person it was just different.

Alexandra, or Ali as she preferred, had these beautiful waves of mostly chocolate brown, but a few faint blonde highlights, and brown eyes. She was perfectly thin and tall and when you looked at her, a part of you wished you _were_ her. Her roommate, Theodora, or Theo had curly chocolate hair, and chocolate brown eyes, and was a little bit shorter than Ali, probably just a few inches taller than me, but equally as beautiful.

Then there was Rosalie—Rosie, with suntanned skin, caramel hair, and bright blue eyes. She was around the same height as Macy and I, but still a little taller—which wasn't hard to do mind you. Finally, you had Eleanor—Eli as she preferred. She was the palest of the bunch, her porcelain skin rivaling Macy's, but she was flawless with her dark brown hair and pale blue eyes. She was the tallest of us—probably 5'7" as a rough estimate, and much like Ali, she evoked just the tiniest bit of jealous just from looking at her.

Ali's mom, also a pediatrician, and my mom were chatting away—apparently, they knew of each other professionally due to some conference they had attended years back. Meanwhile, Dr. Rob and Theo's dad were enjoying talking about golf. My dad and Eli's mom were discussing their firms, both lawyers. Nora and Rosie's parents were very invested in a conversation about their recent travels to Asia. Macy and I spent time chatting with our roommates until they had to get with the unpacking of their dorms.

It was getting late and Mom looked at me. "Our flight leaves in three hours so we need to get going." She told me. "We're going to all ride with your brother to the airport—Rob and Nora included."

Tears clouded my vision again. It was officially time for my parents to leave. I wouldn't see them again until probably at least fall break. I was excited to be on my own—but scared. I was going to miss them. I had come to rely on them a lot, especially in the past three years as I had recovered from the whole Jack and Ash situation. I was truthfully very nervous to be away from them, even if I had Macy and Rocklin with me.

"It's going to be alright, Darling. You're going to do fine." Mom told me, her own tears forming.

"Don't worry Squirt, we'll come to visit." Elliot draped an arm around me. "Probably sooner than you want in Christian's case."

"That would be fine by me." I told him through tears.

"Oh Let, you'll do great." Mia told me as she came up to me. "Don't worry, you'll have a blast. They'll keep you so busy at least for the first few weeks of the semester that you won't even miss us."

"And if you do, you can always Facetime us. Actually, I'm sure that Teddy will be begging to call you soon, so you better Facetime us." Christian chuckled. "He loves his Aunt Let."

"It really all will be alright Kiddo." Dad told me as he pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. "You'll have a blast."

I managed to say my goodbyes to Macy's family, Rocklin's dad, my siblings, and my parents with only a few more tears, and then found myself sitting on my bed in my dorm, Macy on the foot of it looking at me.

"Come on, let's get out of here and go exploring." She told me. "We'll take Rocklin along too, it'll take our minds off of things."

We retrieved Rocklin, meeting his roommate, Leo, and four suitemates, Ben, Nico, Jordy, and Cal, and then, we did go exploring, and began our first few minutes of adulthood together, walking around the campus that we would call home for the next four years.


End file.
